Thepatman

How the first day feels if I ever think I can just have a coulple. 4 days later and back to withdrawal. Stupid binge. Sad how ones body totally refuses food after a major binge. ;-(
Even water takes all my guts.

Sapling

It took me repetitive ass whippings to finally quit fighting it...I surrendered to win...Who'd a thunk it?

awuh1

Sorry to hear this Pat. I seem to remember you were using AVRT. Did you follow this method just as suggested or did you do a variation of it? I hope things go better this time around. Best wishes.

Windancer

I agree Sapling! It took me so long, and so much healing and relapsing, healing and relapsing....I just hope and am steeling myself to be determined to stay strong permanently this time. Thanks for the reminder Thepatman. Best of luck to you and remember that you arent alone in your struggles.

hypochondriac

I remember that feeling, urgh

Posting here is a good way to remember. You can't delete your posts and go

Cottonwoodchris

The one thing I know, for %100 is that I know nothing.

Alcohol kicks me in the patootie. kicks me up and down. Do I remember it? Heck yeah. Will alcohol kick me again? Yeah, but only if I let it.

Pat, you can win this. You really can. Is it easy? hell no. I'm sober right now. That could change at any time with any trigger. Do I want a drink? Hell yes. Am I gonna, hell no.

I walk, I play video games, sometimes just take a bus then get on the subway and ride. Do something, anything to keep that drink thought out of my mind.

Thepatman

Thank you all. Really appreciate this, really means alot. I was doing great with AVRT. I am stiil deeply in love with a lady I work with. She won't even speak to me. I saw her with this guy at work. A ladies men, a snake.

The ones of you who have someone in their lives, hang on to them. I find it harder because I still am madly in love with her. Not an excuse I know. I just wish I could have her in my arms. All I have is my stupid cat. Not even sure how he can stand my presence today. He's more loyal then the lady I must admit ;-)
Tonight's sleep will not be fun. But in a few days it will be all good.

Bless you all, you are good people, really good.

Hevyn

Glad to hear you sounding positive and determined to do this, patman. I'm sorry you're hurt, but nothing is made better by getting all numb and foggy. Then you have to dig your way back out again. (You already know that, though. ) You can do this.

Dee74

I'm sorry for all that Pat, but I'm glad you're back.

I won't give you the plenty more fish in the sea speech but I will say I was a far better catch once I got into recovery and stayed there.

I found the kind of partner a sober me deserved too

D