Jaded1999

I'm a few months sober again, things are going really well. I go to heaps of meetings have a sponsor and all BUT...

I find it really hard to actually have some some genuine / happy fun. Might sound like a silly question, I keep really busy, I'm back studying, In the gym most nights, I ride, run do martial arts and Surf. I'm 31 and just bored ******** (today I went and got more ink lol). EVERYTHING I used to do that was fun involved drinking or drinking afterwards.

Is this normal in early recovery? What do you guys do?

Gottalife

Hi Shaun,
I can understand what you mean. Assuming you have had your spiritual experience, you will be beginning to see the world a bit differently. It appears warmer, friendlier, and there is a place for you in it. While it sounds like you have a busy life already, the main thing is to get out there and have a go. Again, if you,ve done the work, you are free to go any where and you will be safe and protected (10 step promises). But but but, we have to learn some social skills, the most tedious of which is small talk. In AA we get used to deep and meaningful, and small talk seems rather trivial, but if you really want to be popular, learn to be a good listener, try and brighten someone's day, go out and see what you can bring to an occasion. If you approach life with that attitude, you'll have a great time. That,s the social side.

The other part is to grow spritually and we do that by helping other alcoholics. We have to give it away to keep it, and it turns out the more we try and give it away the more we receive in return. Life takes on new meaning.

Jaded1999

Thanks Mike, I do struggle socially still (get nervous for no reason etc), really need to work on the small talk lol.

CarolD

Good to know you re started your sober future...

Welcome back..

Happier

I can relate to your original post. It seems quite common from m experience and what i read. Thankfully I am starting to find fun things again. Getting back into some of my old pre-drinking hobbies. I thinks more than that though, I am just starting to enjoy life again. Even the simple, everyday stuff. It is a slow process but I am grateful for it.
Regardless of today, tomorrow has the potential to be fun and exciting if I stay sober. It is guaranteed to royally suck if I don't.

Rosiepetal

Good for you Shaun.
Sounds like your into heaps of stuff & doing really well.
Congrats.

Blondie0419

I need to work on the small talk too!

Elisabeth888

Start a new "sober" hobby. I have always wanted to join something like a Sierra club and plant to when I get a car.

Right now I hang out with a bunch of sober people and do all of the hobbies I did before I became I drunk and let them fall by the wayside.

Threshold

It took quite some time before I had fun again. At first I felt like "I got sober for THIS?"

I've read that it has something to do with our brain chemicals and receptors. They get fried (sort of calloused) from substance abuse. It takes time for things to heal and balance so we can get a "kick" out of life again, from normal activities not chemically enhanced, but in time most of us do get back to "fun".

It sort of snuck up on me. One day, I felt some of that old sense of joy and enthusiasm bubble up inside me, and I got scared...felt sort of weird and naked and puzzled, then realized that I was having fun! I'd forgotten how it felt.

Thepatman

I agree with Treshold that it takes time, but when it actually happens, sober fun, it might feel alien to us because of the extended time we had artifical fun.

Here's my take on it. When we drink we have the same emotions as we do sober except they are exaggerated.

Super Happy drunk = Happy sober
Depressive and sad drunk = Sad sober
ETC.

Sober brings emotional balance and normal emotions

Gottalife

I just remebered I joined a Toatmasters group for a while. It did wonders for my confidence and was a huge amount of fun.

jennikate

I have found that I have fun when I least expect it. In other words, I don't plan fun outings or anything like that. Instead, I let myself get in touch with my silly, childish side. Now I work in a kindergarten class so it's not that much of a reach for me. For example, I was in Home Depot when I came across the musical Xmas decorations and pushed each one to hear it's song and dance. My friend who was with me thought I was crazy but I just stood in the aisle laughing. I also occasionaly color or doodle. I watch mindless comedies sometimes too. I like to play outside with my goofy dogs. So, I guess, I try to find the lightness in everyday moments and my good mood carries into other aspects of my day. I actually do have fun at meetings too. My sponsor and I have very similiar senses of humor and we do get strange looks at times when we burst into laughter at something stupid.
When I try to plan a fun activity, I find that I am disappointed. I tend to build things up and have high expectations. Now, I just take the fun when and where it comes.