Question about the Big Book
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
Question about the Big Book
Firstly, I have not/will not drink tonight. I've consumed no alcohol today. Can't say that for yesterday....
Anyway, my question is, is it possible to follow the steps (successfully) in the BB without attending meetings? I've only been to one, but was thinking about using the BB independantly, or try, rather. I've been reading A LOT, and I can say it truely resonates with me. If nothing else, I want to finish reading, even if I don't go to meetings, and then read it again, while going to meetings, if the book alone doesn't work.
One guy at my first AA meeting said it was not useful to try to read the BB (and absorb the information) if you've been drinking. That hit home with me, since I picked up reading it last night after a few glasses of wine and had to start back reading the same pages because I realized I hadn't gained anything from it like I did while reading completely sober (duh).
One day at a time, and I do really want to be normal again. Thanks for reading, and good luck to all who are struggling like me. Also, for those of you who have beat it
and thanks for the inspiration!
Christy
Anyway, my question is, is it possible to follow the steps (successfully) in the BB without attending meetings? I've only been to one, but was thinking about using the BB independantly, or try, rather. I've been reading A LOT, and I can say it truely resonates with me. If nothing else, I want to finish reading, even if I don't go to meetings, and then read it again, while going to meetings, if the book alone doesn't work.
One guy at my first AA meeting said it was not useful to try to read the BB (and absorb the information) if you've been drinking. That hit home with me, since I picked up reading it last night after a few glasses of wine and had to start back reading the same pages because I realized I hadn't gained anything from it like I did while reading completely sober (duh).
One day at a time, and I do really want to be normal again. Thanks for reading, and good luck to all who are struggling like me. Also, for those of you who have beat it
and thanks for the inspiration!Christy
Sally1009
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
Were you put off by that meeting? Personally, when I have tried to stop drinking on my own it has failed dismally. I need the sense of community that meetings give me; having numbers of fellow alcoholics I can call, and speaking my feelings aloud.
I wish you well in your recovery.
I wish you well in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
In my opinion,no. It won't work without meetings.
When demon alcohol comes knocking on the door,there is a very fine line whether we give in or we don't. Meetings can be a pain. I have left them wanting to drink more than I did before I went. But meetings are what gave me the power not to drink. If that makes any sense.
I first went to AA years ago,but didn't make it. I read the Bigbook cover to cover BOTH drunk and sober. I finally really made up my mind to quit,and went back to AA. I couldn't have made it without the other people there. I can't explain how much help it is to be around other people that are trying to do the same thing. But you have to really deep down want to quit.
Like I say there is a very fine line which side of the fence we fall on sometimes. We want to do everything we can to be sure we fall on the right side every time.
I wish you the best...
Fred
When demon alcohol comes knocking on the door,there is a very fine line whether we give in or we don't. Meetings can be a pain. I have left them wanting to drink more than I did before I went. But meetings are what gave me the power not to drink. If that makes any sense.
I first went to AA years ago,but didn't make it. I read the Bigbook cover to cover BOTH drunk and sober. I finally really made up my mind to quit,and went back to AA. I couldn't have made it without the other people there. I can't explain how much help it is to be around other people that are trying to do the same thing. But you have to really deep down want to quit.
Like I say there is a very fine line which side of the fence we fall on sometimes. We want to do everything we can to be sure we fall on the right side every time.
I wish you the best...
Fred
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
[QUOTE=Sally1009;3653601]Were you put off by that meeting? Not at all. I enjoyed it. I was scared to death though, and thought once I took the plunge and went to the first one, the next would be easy (assuming it went well-which it did) I'm confused why I feel this way.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I don't attend a lot of meetings today. In fact, I've reduced my meeting attendance for a while now. I attend literature meetings, not the group discussion/group therapy type meetings (yes, I still judge things).
In early recovery I made 3 a day, unemployed and scared to be alone. I reconnected with old friends and have made new friends and I keep in contact with them on a regular basis.
Today, I get to about 2 per week, home group and at least one other (for now), and I meet with my sponsor one night every week.
I don't believe it's about the meetings, but without the meetings, I wouldn't have met the sponsors I've had.
One to take me through the steps the first time and who introduced me to the sponsor I have today (she lives on the opposite coast). The sponsor I have today has guided me through the steps 3 times, has given me AA history to study, has guided me sentence by sentence through the big book, and who continues to help my spirituality grow through reading many books and by practicing prayer and meditation daily....
My current sponsor is a male, married, and has a grasp of spirituality I appreciate. So far, this has and is working in terms of working the steps and increasing my spirituality.
My sponsor is highly intelligent. He attempted to work the steps according to the big book without a sponsor his first time. He claims it was okay, but he didn’t work the steps the way he knows them to be today.
When he worked with a sponsor, this is where his life really began to change. He continues to work through the steps at least every two years now. He works with others and takes them through the steps regularly to this day. His life is well-rounded and he practices spirituality (walks his talk) wherever he is.
After 27 years of sobriety, he still works with a sponsor (with over 30 years of sobriety) who works with a sponsor who works with a sponsor (etc) to this day.
All sponsees have worked the steps at least 3 times through within the first year of sobriety and who all sponsor at least one person today. None of us sponsor another person without the guidance of a higher power and the guidance of our sponsor.
I was able to work with a woman to guide her through the 12 steps when I had 8 months of sobriety. She is still sober today. I take no credit for this and I do realize that a power greater than us is at work here.
It's by working with a sponsor and carrying the message where the daily reprieve from alcoholism remains strong.
In my opinion; Yes, you can work those steps by the book without attending meetings, yet if you really want to have change in your life for the better, working the steps along with attending meetings and practicing steps 10, 11 AND 12 daily, well, this is where one's spirituality can continue to increase and remain ahead of the dis-ease of alcoholISM (how I See Me).
The big book is not really a magical book (or is it?), but then again, I couldn't understand much until I put the drink down.
It only took me 25 years of fighting everything in AA until I truly surrendered, became brutally honest with my self, and began to work the steps of AA and become involved in AA on many levels to get to today. I'm still a "baby" in AA at 17.5+ months of sobriety. Only time will tell what my future holds.
Even if you made one home group meeting a week, do that, it's the least you can do for yourself in finding a sponsor and in working the steps of AA. Getting to know the fellowship and the rest of what AA is about is also important (to me).
A year and a half ago, I couldn't get one day sober; I was either drinking or smoking weed. Today, I can be anywhere and I am not concerned with what others choose to do. I am in a place of neutrality when it comes to substances. I have peace and joy. I am not the same anxious and fearful person I had been and there is still so much more growing to do.
To freely give what was once freely given to me, well, that's what AA is about.
Whatever you choose, do it well. Stay strong, stay stopped, stay sober, YOU are worth it!
With love & hugs,
In early recovery I made 3 a day, unemployed and scared to be alone. I reconnected with old friends and have made new friends and I keep in contact with them on a regular basis.
Today, I get to about 2 per week, home group and at least one other (for now), and I meet with my sponsor one night every week.
I don't believe it's about the meetings, but without the meetings, I wouldn't have met the sponsors I've had.
One to take me through the steps the first time and who introduced me to the sponsor I have today (she lives on the opposite coast). The sponsor I have today has guided me through the steps 3 times, has given me AA history to study, has guided me sentence by sentence through the big book, and who continues to help my spirituality grow through reading many books and by practicing prayer and meditation daily....
My current sponsor is a male, married, and has a grasp of spirituality I appreciate. So far, this has and is working in terms of working the steps and increasing my spirituality.
My sponsor is highly intelligent. He attempted to work the steps according to the big book without a sponsor his first time. He claims it was okay, but he didn’t work the steps the way he knows them to be today.
When he worked with a sponsor, this is where his life really began to change. He continues to work through the steps at least every two years now. He works with others and takes them through the steps regularly to this day. His life is well-rounded and he practices spirituality (walks his talk) wherever he is.
After 27 years of sobriety, he still works with a sponsor (with over 30 years of sobriety) who works with a sponsor who works with a sponsor (etc) to this day.
All sponsees have worked the steps at least 3 times through within the first year of sobriety and who all sponsor at least one person today. None of us sponsor another person without the guidance of a higher power and the guidance of our sponsor.
I was able to work with a woman to guide her through the 12 steps when I had 8 months of sobriety. She is still sober today. I take no credit for this and I do realize that a power greater than us is at work here.
It's by working with a sponsor and carrying the message where the daily reprieve from alcoholism remains strong.
In my opinion; Yes, you can work those steps by the book without attending meetings, yet if you really want to have change in your life for the better, working the steps along with attending meetings and practicing steps 10, 11 AND 12 daily, well, this is where one's spirituality can continue to increase and remain ahead of the dis-ease of alcoholISM (how I See Me).
The big book is not really a magical book (or is it?), but then again, I couldn't understand much until I put the drink down.
It only took me 25 years of fighting everything in AA until I truly surrendered, became brutally honest with my self, and began to work the steps of AA and become involved in AA on many levels to get to today. I'm still a "baby" in AA at 17.5+ months of sobriety. Only time will tell what my future holds.
Even if you made one home group meeting a week, do that, it's the least you can do for yourself in finding a sponsor and in working the steps of AA. Getting to know the fellowship and the rest of what AA is about is also important (to me).
A year and a half ago, I couldn't get one day sober; I was either drinking or smoking weed. Today, I can be anywhere and I am not concerned with what others choose to do. I am in a place of neutrality when it comes to substances. I have peace and joy. I am not the same anxious and fearful person I had been and there is still so much more growing to do.
To freely give what was once freely given to me, well, that's what AA is about.
Whatever you choose, do it well. Stay strong, stay stopped, stay sober, YOU are worth it!
With love & hugs,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
As I understand it... The book was written before meetings and was intended for people to get this program by reading the book.
I have found it very useful to hear other people's experience with it. I don't know that I would have really been able to "get it" without hearing them.
And there is that 12th step, probably the most important... How do we do that without the fellowship?
I have found it very useful to hear other people's experience with it. I don't know that I would have really been able to "get it" without hearing them.
And there is that 12th step, probably the most important... How do we do that without the fellowship?
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Originally Posted by Mark75 
As I understand it... The book was written before meetings and was intended for people to get this program by reading the book.
Just a small correction.. There were meetings years before the big book was written, both at Dr Bobs home as well as in NYC (some at Bill’s home). Most of the early 12th step work was NOT in meetings but through prospects found via word of mouth. This is evident when reading the chapter “Working With Others”. The book was written to make sure the program was passed along without the changes that would have taken place had it remained a word of mouth program.
The first person to “get” the program by using the book alone enthusiastically boarded a bus in L.A. just to be around other sober members of AA. Unfortunately he was drunk when he got off the bus a few thousand miles later.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I think that meetings and fellowship are a major part of AA's effectiveness, there is certainly a strong belief in the ability of one alcoholic's ability to help another.
There is a historical precedent for this effectiveness. The Oxford Group, followers of Dr. Frank Buchman in the early 1930s, was seen as the forerunner of AA by Bob and Bill. Fellowship was a major part of the attraction of the Oxford group at that time, and was seen to be a gift from God, and essential to a successful journey through the Oxford Group's Six Steps.
There is a historical precedent for this effectiveness. The Oxford Group, followers of Dr. Frank Buchman in the early 1930s, was seen as the forerunner of AA by Bob and Bill. Fellowship was a major part of the attraction of the Oxford group at that time, and was seen to be a gift from God, and essential to a successful journey through the Oxford Group's Six Steps.
"The early AA got its ideas of self-examination, acknowledgment of character defects, restitution for harm done, and working with others straight from the Oxford Group and directly from Sam Shoemaker, their former leader in America, and from nowhere else."
Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age (New York: A.A.W.S. Inc., 1957), p. 199
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
WOC....
AA meetings? It's never occured to me to not stay connected
I've not tried what you are asking about.
Seems to me that would be isolating yourself from support
and meeting others shareing their journey with you
Also..I'd sure miss watching and listening to others as they
keep improving their lives...an awesome experience ..
.
Whatever you decide..hope it works out to benefit your sobriety..
AA meetings? It's never occured to me to not stay connected
I've not tried what you are asking about.
Seems to me that would be isolating yourself from support
and meeting others shareing their journey with you
Also..I'd sure miss watching and listening to others as they
keep improving their lives...an awesome experience ..
.Whatever you decide..hope it works out to benefit your sobriety..
Last edited by CarolD; 11-02-2012 at 09:58 PM.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
Wow Sugarbear, THANKS! That really does make a lot of sense....and you made me think, A LOT. See...I'm very much an introvert. Going to that first meeting took all the guts I could muster. But You made me think of something. At work, a long time ago, when I would go out to smoke, I would always find a place away from everyone else, to be alone, so I didn't have to interact with anyone. Over time, they changed the rules and gave us only certain areas to smoke in. I would still sit off to the side and 'try' to keep to myself. In fact, I would get annoyed if someone tried to start a conversation, and would keep my answers to a minimum, hoping they would go away. That was a long time ago, and I now have a bunch of smoking "buddies" that I wouldn't have met otherwise. Now, I'm disappointed if I go out and noone is there. I work in a very large building and these are people I would never have met if I hadn't been pushed into sharing a smoking area with them. I've said that if I'm ever able to put the cigarettes down, I will still go out for their company. I would miss them. It's crazy. So this is how I'm goiing to have to look at this situation.
But there's also another problem that I don't know the answer. I have a huge fear of letting people down, wasting their time. It's one reason I don't post on here much, because I feel like I have wasted people's time when I fail. I feel the need to thank everyone personally, and if I don't, I feel like they think I don't appreciate taking time to read and respond to my posts.. You would think on a website like this, that I wouldn't care, because I don't personally know anyone, but even with that factor, I feel the same way. I feel a personal connection and obligation.
And here is a big problem for me. Step #8. This is going to sound self rightious (sp), but I honestly don't think I have ever hurt anyone...well except my husband, for which I have already made amends, or we wouldn't still be together after 29 yrs [no infidelity, just dishonesty], and he wouldn't still be by my side despite my drinking. The fact is, and I don't know how to word this without it seeming like I'm "patting myself on the back", I am the one who has a lot of resentments against people who don't even know that I have them. A lot of my resentments stem from childhood. I have never had a fight or caused trouble for anyone. Even while drinking. I'm told I'm a "happy drunk". I always "suck up" when I could "stand up" and have a hard time saying no. I have very low self esteem. After reading the BB on step#8 I actually pondered for about an hour trying to be honest with myself, and the only 'person' I can think of who I've harmed is my dog, who I didn't give enough attention to while drunk, waking up wondering if I remembered to give her meds the night before. Very rarely did I forget, but I feel guilty for the few times I did. And I deprived her of some love and attention from ME.
Sorry for the ramble. Your post meant a lot to me. I'm certainly a huge work in progress.
But there's also another problem that I don't know the answer. I have a huge fear of letting people down, wasting their time. It's one reason I don't post on here much, because I feel like I have wasted people's time when I fail. I feel the need to thank everyone personally, and if I don't, I feel like they think I don't appreciate taking time to read and respond to my posts.. You would think on a website like this, that I wouldn't care, because I don't personally know anyone, but even with that factor, I feel the same way. I feel a personal connection and obligation.
And here is a big problem for me. Step #8. This is going to sound self rightious (sp), but I honestly don't think I have ever hurt anyone...well except my husband, for which I have already made amends, or we wouldn't still be together after 29 yrs [no infidelity, just dishonesty], and he wouldn't still be by my side despite my drinking. The fact is, and I don't know how to word this without it seeming like I'm "patting myself on the back", I am the one who has a lot of resentments against people who don't even know that I have them. A lot of my resentments stem from childhood. I have never had a fight or caused trouble for anyone. Even while drinking. I'm told I'm a "happy drunk". I always "suck up" when I could "stand up" and have a hard time saying no. I have very low self esteem. After reading the BB on step#8 I actually pondered for about an hour trying to be honest with myself, and the only 'person' I can think of who I've harmed is my dog, who I didn't give enough attention to while drunk, waking up wondering if I remembered to give her meds the night before. Very rarely did I forget, but I feel guilty for the few times I did. And I deprived her of some love and attention from ME.
Sorry for the ramble. Your post meant a lot to me. I'm certainly a huge work in progress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Historically, the founders of AA got sober before the BB was written. The Seps weren't formalized as they are now, but the process was similar. Yes, a number of people have gotten sober from having a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the 12 Steps as outlined in the BB.
Almost nobody has gotten sober from reading any book, BB included. Action is required, not just reading.
Almost nobody has gotten sober from reading any book, BB included. Action is required, not just reading.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Posts: 778
I have a number of posts on knowledge vs experience nearly killing me in the fellowship. Might look through some of my posts.
Reader's Digest condensed version:
You can do whatever you want just like I did. I am great at doing what I want and reaping what I sew. I've stayed sober for a while on just meetings. I've stayed sober for a while learning the Big Book becoming a master of Alconomics 101 and Stepology 103. Eventually I got to a place where that all bottomed out and I saw that meetings and knowledge were not standing between me and booze. What was standing between me and booze was only the grace of God. Now, the 11th step promises conscious contact. Do I want conscious contact with that which gave me grace is the real question??? Do I want to be in a recovered state with some power in my life and able to help others or just not drinking one day at a time? I didn't know what conscious contact was until I got some, I thought it was all theory and sounded great but wasn't actually going to happen. It did.
The best analogy for reading the book vs someone taking me through it and doing it is this:
I can read a 164 page manual on how to fly a 747. Know it, teach it, tell you how to fly one etc...but are you really going to want to be around when I hop in the cockpit for the first time by myself?
Reader's Digest condensed version:
You can do whatever you want just like I did. I am great at doing what I want and reaping what I sew. I've stayed sober for a while on just meetings. I've stayed sober for a while learning the Big Book becoming a master of Alconomics 101 and Stepology 103. Eventually I got to a place where that all bottomed out and I saw that meetings and knowledge were not standing between me and booze. What was standing between me and booze was only the grace of God. Now, the 11th step promises conscious contact. Do I want conscious contact with that which gave me grace is the real question??? Do I want to be in a recovered state with some power in my life and able to help others or just not drinking one day at a time? I didn't know what conscious contact was until I got some, I thought it was all theory and sounded great but wasn't actually going to happen. It did.
The best analogy for reading the book vs someone taking me through it and doing it is this:
I can read a 164 page manual on how to fly a 747. Know it, teach it, tell you how to fly one etc...but are you really going to want to be around when I hop in the cockpit for the first time by myself?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
it is ironic i read this this morning.
i have been to many meetings in my time in recovery. i have read the BB many times,too. yesterday, after it occured to me how meetings help my thinking. when i slack off on meetings, even when i read the BB and practice the principles of the steps, my thinkin machine gets a lil whacked.
yes, it is possible to get sober with just the BB. it was done when there werent meetings available.
the word that catches my attention in yer post is try and the sentence for the BB that comes to mind is
some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
for me, there is more to recovery than just reading the BB. there is action.
i have been to many meetings in my time in recovery. i have read the BB many times,too. yesterday, after it occured to me how meetings help my thinking. when i slack off on meetings, even when i read the BB and practice the principles of the steps, my thinkin machine gets a lil whacked.
yes, it is possible to get sober with just the BB. it was done when there werent meetings available.
the word that catches my attention in yer post is try and the sentence for the BB that comes to mind is
some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
for me, there is more to recovery than just reading the BB. there is action.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Wind,
I was very self-centered and didn't even notice that I was like that.
I was always shy, introverted, helpful, and caring about others. I put myself last on the list of "caring." I didn't like me very much, I thought I wasn't worthy of many things, I thought so low of me....
I found out so much about me....my shyness was the ultimate in self-centeredness! What a revelation! The conversation that I had was very meaningful. The big book teaches us how to be useful to others. Being "helpful" is not always being "useful." I can rob others of experiences they need to have (among other things).
I didn't think I had hurt many people, either. Guess what?! Little did I know who or how I had hurt others.
Life is really about fully human interaction. When I shy away from others, I rob them and me of life.
In a nutshell....and over simplified.
Get to a few meetings, try different ones and ask your higher power to help you find a sponsor! They will show up in your life and a new door will open to a place you only dreamed of being in will happen (sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but the action is what is required).
Forget about any of those steps as they are in an order for a reason, work with step one and then move forward as you are working with another person to help you through them! Step 8 will come after step 7....
With love and hugs,
I was very self-centered and didn't even notice that I was like that.
I was always shy, introverted, helpful, and caring about others. I put myself last on the list of "caring." I didn't like me very much, I thought I wasn't worthy of many things, I thought so low of me....
I found out so much about me....my shyness was the ultimate in self-centeredness! What a revelation! The conversation that I had was very meaningful. The big book teaches us how to be useful to others. Being "helpful" is not always being "useful." I can rob others of experiences they need to have (among other things).
I didn't think I had hurt many people, either. Guess what?! Little did I know who or how I had hurt others.
Life is really about fully human interaction. When I shy away from others, I rob them and me of life.
In a nutshell....and over simplified.
Get to a few meetings, try different ones and ask your higher power to help you find a sponsor! They will show up in your life and a new door will open to a place you only dreamed of being in will happen (sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but the action is what is required).
Forget about any of those steps as they are in an order for a reason, work with step one and then move forward as you are working with another person to help you through them! Step 8 will come after step 7....
With love and hugs,
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by keithj
Almost nobody has gotten sober from reading any book, BB included. Action is required, not just reading.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by WindsofChange
Anyway, my question is, is it possible to follow the steps (successfully) in the BB without attending meetings?
In my view, in AA, the role of sponsor/sponsee is exactly analogous to master tradesperson/apprentice.
Even if you could do this, why would you want to?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by Taking5
Could I become a mechanic by reading a book about it? Doubtful. In addition to reading a book about it I'd need to take an apprenticeship from a qualified accountant.
In my view, in AA, the role of sponsor/sponsee is exactly analogous to master tradesperson/apprentice.
Even if you could do this, why would you want to?
In my view, in AA, the role of sponsor/sponsee is exactly analogous to master tradesperson/apprentice.
Even if you could do this, why would you want to?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Posts: 367
Originally Posted by WindOfChange
And here is a big problem for me. Step #8. This is going to sound self rightious (sp), but I honestly don't think I have ever hurt anyone...well except my husband, for which I have already made amends, or we wouldn't still be together after 29 yrs [no infidelity, just dishonesty], and he wouldn't still be by my side despite my drinking. The fact is, and I don't know how to word this without it seeming like I'm "patting myself on the back", I am the one who has a lot of resentments against people who don't even know that I have them. A lot of my resentments stem from childhood. I have never had a fight or caused trouble for anyone. Even while drinking. I'm told I'm a "happy drunk". I always "suck up" when I could "stand up" and have a hard time saying no. I have very low self esteem. After reading the BB on step#8 I actually pondered for about an hour trying to be honest with myself, and the only 'person' I can think of who I've harmed is my dog, who I didn't give enough attention to while drunk, waking up wondering if I remembered to give her meds the night before. Very rarely did I forget, but I feel guilty for the few times I did. And I deprived her of some love and attention from ME.
Sorry for the ramble. Your post meant a lot to me. I'm certainly a huge work in progress.
Sorry for the ramble. Your post meant a lot to me. I'm certainly a huge work in progress.
Personally I'd suggest reading the stories in the book first.
The real benefit of going to a meeting is that you can cross examine the person saying something for clarification if you don't understand what they mean. Not so with a book written by a bunch of people who are long dead.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
tomsteve...the "try" in my original post was quoting from a fellow at my first meeting that had "tried" reading the BB while drinking and said he was unable to get out of it what he did while reading sober. I have many times "let go absolutely", with sincere conviction in my heart, but still ended back at square 1. You are correct. My old ideas didn't work, which is why I made (with a huge mustering of courage) my first meeting, and am 2/3 through reading the BB, so I am making change, but I can't be positively sure I'm never gonna drink again...no matter how many times I say so, in front of an AA group or not. If only it were that easy....I asked the question because I wanted to see if anyone else had been able to quit without going to meetings (but reading the BB and doing the steps alone). I actually enjoyed my first meeting, but I do still have some introvertedness in me, that I thought I would overcome after making the plunge to go to the first meeting. I may only be taking baby steps, but I have faced the realization that my way of action isn't working. I appreciate you a bunch....in fact, if I am to be totally honest...my husband supports me going to AA, but I can tell he really would rather me not go. Maybe he's afraid someone will see me there that we know (he's always been a very private person). He doesn't believe I've tried hard enough on my own yet. I know I need more help. You've given me great advice in the past, 
so I just wanted to clarify that I do realize I need to get some action goin' on 
Anyway, day two and no drinky for me
so I just wanted to clarify that I do realize I need to get some action goin' on 
Anyway, day two and no drinky for me
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The book itself answers your question ....
" Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. They will be only too glad to assist you."
If you act on what the book suggests, you will end up with meetings.
" Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. They will be only too glad to assist you."
If you act on what the book suggests, you will end up with meetings.
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