OneLessLonely

I'm glad you took my post in the caring way it was intended. How are you doing tonight? Would you feel comfortable mentioning that your moms drinking stresses you out right now? I can understand how it would bother you. Although weight issues are very serious, I was upset to hear they were barking so much up that tree and then drinking in front of you. I dunno. I hope you're doing okay.

FenwayFaithful

I am back in my apartment as of today!

I realized that my parent's house ALWAYS reeks of alcohol! I mean now that I am back at my apartment it's like I realized the smell my apartment has is LACK of alcohol!

I think not being around the drinking is going to make things a lot easier.

My parents, mostly my Mom drank quite a few times while I stayed with them. And every time we went out to dinner. The smell really gets to me. I know I could NOT go out with my friends right now, no way I could resist a drink.

Being around alcohol is still really really hard. I am hoping that get easier.

I was also talking to this guy who was on the medication I've been prescribed for pain (Roxicet) and he said he got addicted to it and it's really strong stuff so to be careful. I don't need the pain medication anymore thankfully, but I did love the way it made me feel, it'd been a really long time since I'd taken any kind of narcotic for that reason and I've actually been thinking about narcotics (Oxy specifically) a lot lately.

Luckily for me I wouldn't even know where to get it out here, back in Boston is a different story but I am hoping it's just a fleeting craving and it'll go away. I had a small problem with them in high school/early college before I turned 21 and drinking replaced that.

I am still having MAJOR issues with sleep. It seems my brain can't calm down, I'll be physical exhausted and my brain just doesn't shut up.

I also dream about alcohol every night. I always drink in my dreams and it's very strange because IN the dreams I know I want to stay sober but I always dream of relapsing, I mean like every night and it's making it hard to get restful sleep!

The Doc gave me a short term script for Trazadone to help me get some rest while I recover from Mono but that seems to make the dreams worse and I wake up groggy, also I find I wake up 2-3 hours after taking Traz with difficulty falling back asleep.

IDK, I feel like the fact that I have Mono and my liver is all messed up is part of what's making it easier not to drink and the true test will come when I get a clean bill of health.

Fandy

try to think about and focus on some thing else, the career your want in the future, vacation, what you will do and where you will live when school is done and you support yourself and live your own life. all positive things and completely possible!

OneLessLonely

I'm glad you're in your own apartment away from drinkers. I soberized my house by getting rid of alcohol, hiding wine glasses or on the rocks glasses out of sight. I bought a ton of non alcoholic drinks like sparkling juices, izze is one brand, and I bought a cheap loose leaf tea brewer and have hot and iced teas, green, white, herbal- some are supposed to help with sleep. I've recently downloaded some relaxing/meditation music from itunes that may help you with sleep or relaxing your mind. I try to focus on either the music or if my mind wanders, I focus on my breathing. I hope you are thinking about ways to build your new healthy sober life to get the most out of it. It is worth it, it takes up some time, and you deserve it!

todd6138

I feel that way right now on my day off and my brother who is also my twin died Oct 7th from "congestive heart failure and esophageal hemorrage"- He died drunk. I have had my own illustrious drinking career filled with hospital visits, homelessness, loss of liscense and countless relationships. But there is still the old threadbare idea that somehow someday I will be able to enjoy and control my drinking. I have to surrender to this if I choose to have a reasonable if not boring day, or I can have all the excitement that comes with the bottom of a bottle hangover, lost time, guilt shame and the hideous four horsemen.

sissy07

Your parents sound like they are doing what they think is right, but they have no idea how they are sabotaging you. I am glad you are in your own apt now. Geez, even though I have been sober for quite awhile, I would not want to be around it as much as you were. The drugs? Yeah, I went that route thinking they weren't as bad as drinking. Guess what. They can be worse. Please don't go down that slippery slope. I am sorry you have mono. That sucks. I was a marathon runner for over 20 years, and I know what you mean about missing it. I was a nervous basket case when I wasn't running. Hopefully you can get into that really soon. Weight loss? I guess try to eat more....but don't overeat any more than you can keep from doing. You will feel a lot better when you don't feel sick (mono is very depressing) and you will feel tons better when you can start running again. Non-runners don't understand how it can effect your psyche when you can't run. Take care, and hang in there. Look forward when the mono (which is affecting your mood) is gone and you are able to run (endorphins). Best wishes. Take care.

OneLessLonely

How're you doing lately Fenway?