Mark75

anywhere else where Sandy left destruction.

The coming weeks and months are gonna be the toughest, I think, on the psyches of disaster victims. Days and days of not knowing what will happen, where to live, all that... Loss is acute, fear of the future can go down to the bone and just lie there...

I still have no power, but a coworker lent me a generator, God bless her... No phone and internet, God knows when that's coming... but I know that it is coming.

I remember on Thursday, I couldn't go to work, because there was no power there, there was nothing I could do at home... gray skies, toppled trees... and the thought of a drink came fleeting through... And it wasn't a poor me, or even to drown out misery... cause I really didn't feel that way... It was more boredom and a feeling of uselessness...

Pray for all those who are still suffering and I hope that the AA's will still have places to meet, because this is gonna be a rough late fall and winter for some.

Veritas1

Wow, Mark, the thought of a drink came up for you. That's crazy isn't it after all of this time.

I wonder if it will always remain in us...that suggestion to drink.

Mark75

It was fleeting, more, actually, of a recognition... that AV whispered and I confronted it and let it go... It wasn't painful or difficult. Just, more of an understanding.

IDK, I think that those thoughts are there waiting to be thunk, LOL... but they are powerless if I keep them that way.

Hope you are well Veritas

freshstart57

That is exactly how it is with me, too, Mark. It has been so long that those urges rarely have any weight to them. If they do have some heft left, a calm recognition is all that is needed to render them powerless so that I can watch them evaporate and blow away.

I can hear that you are doing well, and I pray for those who are in worse straits than you. Hope things get back to functional for you soon.

RobbyRobot

Having thoughts about drinking are no concern of mine. I'm never surprised when it occurs, and I have several ways to easily accept those moments and move on. Having said that, I do pay attention to how I feel about those drinking thoughts - am i afraid? angry? happy? indifferent?

Indifference is the place to be for me when I examine myself concerning my past drinking. Any thoughts or feelings about future drinking is simply proof my past in fact is behind me. When i meditate about where I have come from, and I come to terms with where i presently am, future drinking thoughts become absolutely trivial in comparison.

AVRT has such thoughts recognised as my Addictive Voice in play. AA has such thoughts realised as what is left of my unempowered alcoholism illness. As i said, I've long ago chosen to be indifferent to such unorganised future drinking thoughts.

However, if i did find myself not indifferent to future drinking, I would simply follow through and discover for myself what is required from me to once again establish being at ease with my indifference to alcohol.

Over the years I've learned that my quality of sobriety can easily handle a few thoughts here and there about whatever about alcohol and future drinking. That is absolutely good enough progress for me. Seeking perfection has no attractions for me, and I consider such pursuits as fool's errands.

Bravo, Mark!

Veritas1

Saturday, I had thoughts to drink.

I felt people didn't like me.

I was in a restaurant shortly thereafter where I had beer in the past.

I thought of drinking beer.

I got up and left the restaurant.

I felt fear, followed by an idea to leave and go outside and call for help.

I called 3 women from AA, and one answered. She didn't have time for me, but that didn't matter. I took action.

I felt relief after taking action to stay sober.

I went home and prayed, and listened to my AA speakers all day.

I knew I was in danger.

I know I am still in danger each day, and I believe the day that I take a drink will most likely be the day that I didn't do the work to keep a real step one.

I also realized that I could have prayed instead of running to human power.

I guess any action to move, turn away from...the threat of drinking was the right action. Thank you God.

RobbyRobot

Its in the wondering process that one could find oneself on the wrong side of an answer, is my experience with such questions.

I'm all for self-examination, rigorous honesty, resolute faith, and so on... however, one must be careful not to follow the rabbit down the hole, for nothing but misery awaits on such a journey.

Asking the same repeated question from myself and expecting always a better answer than what I already have is not something which works well for me. Such practices always left me feeling selfish, irritable, emotional, and unsatisfied.

Seems like I'm making a bid deal about some simple wonderings, and yet, i've seen it time and again how those innocent wonderings become active pursuits eventually for whomever.

Take care, Verastis.

RobbyRobot

Veritas,

I suggest you change your beliefs to successfully take any drinking option off the table of your future experiences.

Being afraid of not having accomplished a "real step one" is nourishing a fear of failure, and that same fear will erode your faith, so the fear needs to be left in the dust, and you just move on from there, and don't look back, there is nothing new to see, okay?

Prayer, of course, works. Faith with prayer ensures success. Pray for a tolerance for your collective fears about drinking, and not so much about drinking itself, is my suggestion.

Yeah, any honest action which takes your awareness away from drinking is a good start. Follow through establishing a lifestyle which keeps you happily safe from such preventable dangers, and you'll be good to go, and right as rain!

KnowHope

Hi Mark, I'm so sorry you've been going through this. I would like you to know that I'm sending thoughts and prayers to you, your family, your neighbors and everyone else that was harmed by Sandy. Remember that as vast as the destruction may be, this too shall pass. Even in the Big Book when referring to the 10th step promises for a recovered alcoholic, it doesn't say that the reflex for alcohol will never happen again, it says seldom. "For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame." You recoiled from the thought, the sane response. Sometimes it's hard to see when things will get better, but they will. The best thing I know to do when I'm hurting is to help others. You're a good soul. So much compassion and encouragement to you.





Big Book quotes from the first edition

CarolD

I removed a post with a link to a specific commercial
product. ...a violation of our SR posting rules.
Others were also removed that discussed the product.

Yes prayers for all who are dealing with storms
are being sent.