Terrified of Sobriety
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
The question of religious or not, spiritual or not, is completely irrelevant. The steps say you must pray to a higher power and ask for your obsession to be lifted, so you must pray - pray to God, or god, or even pray to some group of drunks. The thing is, you don't pray. Period. Despite what some often quoted alcoholic once said, your belief is not intellectual pride, whatever the heck that means. It is a belief to which you are entitled, and one that in no way permits you to keep on getting drunk.
Most people who get sober do it without AA. This is a fact, Birdy. If AA works for you, then more power to you, but it obviously is not for everyone. You have decided it is not for you. Now what? You can still be like most people, and quit anyway.
You quit drinking by stopping. Take responsibility for it, and for your sobriety too. When you understand that you may quit if you choose too, so many other parts of your life will begin to make sense. You will realize that there are many things you cannot control, but drinking is not one of them. You can do this.
Most people who get sober do it without AA. This is a fact, Birdy. If AA works for you, then more power to you, but it obviously is not for everyone. You have decided it is not for you. Now what? You can still be like most people, and quit anyway.
You quit drinking by stopping. Take responsibility for it, and for your sobriety too. When you understand that you may quit if you choose too, so many other parts of your life will begin to make sense. You will realize that there are many things you cannot control, but drinking is not one of them. You can do this.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Birdy78 
So basically I'm terrified of what being sober will bring me. I'll have to face all my problems, I'll have to fake a smile when all I feel when I'm sober is dread and sadness.
Recovery is not-drinking and feeling good about it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Terrified of Sobriety I can relate to everything you just said, Birdy. I was a heavy hitter myself for over 25 years, before I finally sobered up. So I know how terrifying this ordeal can be. The thing was; I could never stop drinking for the life of me -same as you, and that was only half the battle. We can’t just whisk away our drinking problems, though like we do a dirty floor, it doesn’t work that way. So my suggestion is quite simple really, just start somewhere –even if that somewhere is S.R. It’s a choice you’ll never regret.
I suffered endlessly during the course of my 25+ years of drinking, but I never lost that glimmer of hope even on my worst days. I guess it was because of my sober upbringing after all. The prospect of losing something in return was never even a question either, but where to turn was. In order to turn my life completely around, I needed something more powerful than a set of broken promises, which for me came via A.A. It’s also been my venue of choice for the last 11+ years. It’s not the only recovery source that works, though. They’re many other outlets that work just as well. So I suggest you get on board with whatever recovery routine that has what you ultimately want…Lasting sobriety. The rest you’ll learn along the way. We promise…
Welcome to Sober Recovery...
I suffered endlessly during the course of my 25+ years of drinking, but I never lost that glimmer of hope even on my worst days. I guess it was because of my sober upbringing after all. The prospect of losing something in return was never even a question either, but where to turn was. In order to turn my life completely around, I needed something more powerful than a set of broken promises, which for me came via A.A. It’s also been my venue of choice for the last 11+ years. It’s not the only recovery source that works, though. They’re many other outlets that work just as well. So I suggest you get on board with whatever recovery routine that has what you ultimately want…Lasting sobriety. The rest you’ll learn along the way. We promise…
Welcome to Sober Recovery...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
When you say you have no control, maybe take a look at what you're trying to control. I did this myself and found that I was trying to control everything around me but the thing was, I couldn't possibly have control over everything, including the drinking. I realized that the only thing I truly had control over was me. Once I started working on me and identifying the reasons why I drank and worked on those issues (through AA for me), I no longer felt out of control.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Birdy. With the benefit of hindsight I came to view the abject fear of a life without drinking as a symptom of my addiction.
My experience has been that I am more relaxed, handle stress better and enjoy life more- not to mention all the other benefits.
It is however a journey and an adventure but the dividends start to come soon enough.
I wish you luck, and I am glad you found us.
My experience has been that I am more relaxed, handle stress better and enjoy life more- not to mention all the other benefits.
It is however a journey and an adventure but the dividends start to come soon enough.
I wish you luck, and I am glad you found us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i hope all the thumping and promotion did not discourage a new member (with only 2 posts).
Birdy, when I limped in here over 2.5 years ago, I felt a lot of what you did. With the help and kindness of of many people here (Dee was the first person i spoke with directly, he moved my thread and I mistakenly called him Miss Dee).
you can feel your way around, read a lot and interact without being pushed into anything. the only advice i can recommend is not overwhelming yourself and making an appointment to talk to your doctor. You don't mention how much you drink, but you want to stop safely....and not risk your health further.
Birdy, when I limped in here over 2.5 years ago, I felt a lot of what you did. With the help and kindness of of many people here (Dee was the first person i spoke with directly, he moved my thread and I mistakenly called him Miss Dee).
you can feel your way around, read a lot and interact without being pushed into anything. the only advice i can recommend is not overwhelming yourself and making an appointment to talk to your doctor. You don't mention how much you drink, but you want to stop safely....and not risk your health further.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
There are so many ways to get and stay sober. I've been sober almost three years now with the help of my counselor and this wonderful site.
Whatever you do, put all your effort into it cause your life depends on it. 
Whatever you do, put all your effort into it cause your life depends on it. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm an agnostic who has stayed sober in AA for 21 years. The Steps suggest a "higher power and you understand it"; my HP is the collective consciousness of the group and in the past has been a tree. There's no excuse for not going to AA, where we learn to not drink one day at a time. It's only today I don't drink.
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