Need to quit but don't want to
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,448
Hi Leh
I fall on the acceptance side of this argument...willpower was useless to me while some part of my will still wanted to drink.
I lost everything to drink - love, money, career, health - I only stopped because I very nearly died....
The good news is there's a lot of folks here who are a lot smarter than I was and stopped a lot sooner.
Listen to them and cultivate that acceptance I talked about before
You don't have to lose everything and nearly die...you can learn from the mistakes of jackasses like me, leh
Good to have you here!
I fall on the acceptance side of this argument...willpower was useless to me while some part of my will still wanted to drink.
I lost everything to drink - love, money, career, health - I only stopped because I very nearly died....
The good news is there's a lot of folks here who are a lot smarter than I was and stopped a lot sooner.
Listen to them and cultivate that acceptance I talked about before
You don't have to lose everything and nearly die...you can learn from the mistakes of jackasses like me, leh
Good to have you here!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Bottle of Wine?
My question is, "If you want to quit why was there a bottle of wine in the house." I know in early sobriety and now my house is alcohol free. I just do not like having it around
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by leh22 
I know i am an alcoholic, but I want to still believe I can occassionally drink on trips or at celebratory moments. Does that mean I haven;t really accepted that I am alcoholic.? Been to AA, got a sponsor but just don't keep with it. I am afraid it will take a DUI or other stupid incident to make me stop and I really don't want that.
How I felt with alcohol in me was always a give-and-take experience. I like how I felt, and I didn't like how I felt. Eventually, I was left with very little of liking how I felt while drinking.
I suppose one could have a wonderful fantasy of drinking without consequences -- say as example, while on trips and celebratory moments -- and simply wish all the negatives away that prompted the original quitting drinking in the first place.
Its not about being alcoholic or not, its about being honest with ourselves -- either alcohol is just a fun-filled enjoyable nothing and so forget about it -- or -- its a real problem that needs a solution that works day in and day out in all circumstances...
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
In order to be successful at ANYTHING in my life. I need to focus on what I can do, and what I want to do, rather than dilute my purpose focusing on everything I cannot do.
If I want to learn to knit, I won't get anywhere if I am thinking about how I am NOT crocheting, NOT making pizza, NOT fixing a car, NOT on a date with Brad Pitt, you see what I mean.
I can't get sober if I am focusing on NOT drinking, and spending too much energy on worrying over never drinking again, etc. It dilutes my energy and focus. When I did that I was just white knuckling it. It was lousy.
I even had to give up my mental chess game of whether or not I am an alcoholic, or "just" a problem drinker and all that. I wasted a LONG time distracting myself with that one. Once I decided to not drink...the argument was moot. I got on with life.
Today I exercise my right to live my life sober, to drink any of the several thousand beverage choices that are not in the liquor/beer/wine aisle. To drive any time of the day or night (cause I'm not drunk), to treat my friends and family with respect, the list of "can's" and "do's" goes on and on, much more interesting and diverse than that one little "don't".
If I want to learn to knit, I won't get anywhere if I am thinking about how I am NOT crocheting, NOT making pizza, NOT fixing a car, NOT on a date with Brad Pitt, you see what I mean.
I can't get sober if I am focusing on NOT drinking, and spending too much energy on worrying over never drinking again, etc. It dilutes my energy and focus. When I did that I was just white knuckling it. It was lousy.
I even had to give up my mental chess game of whether or not I am an alcoholic, or "just" a problem drinker and all that. I wasted a LONG time distracting myself with that one. Once I decided to not drink...the argument was moot. I got on with life.
Today I exercise my right to live my life sober, to drink any of the several thousand beverage choices that are not in the liquor/beer/wine aisle. To drive any time of the day or night (cause I'm not drunk), to treat my friends and family with respect, the list of "can's" and "do's" goes on and on, much more interesting and diverse than that one little "don't".
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
I had to accept I was POWERLESS over Alcohol before I could quit.
Ngaire
Ngaire
Originally Posted by leh22
HI,
I've been trying to get sober since 2006. Been thru 3 outpatient programs and would really like to do a 30 day inpatient program but money and logistics just won't allow it. I got all the right meds from my doc today to quit: antabuse, naltrexone and a few xanax to get through the withdrawals - mainly anxiety for me. But, then I got home, fixed dinner, heard the kids arguing and opened a bottle of wine. Crap.
I know i am an alcoholic, but I want to still believe I can occassionally drink on trips or at celebratory moments. Does that mean I haven;t really accepted that I am alcoholic.? Been to AA, got a sponsor but just don't keep with it. I am afraid it will take a DUI or other stupid incident to make me stop and I really don't want that.
I guess I am really suprised at how hard this is and how much harder quitting is getting. The most days sober I have had is 69 total from April to June of this year. Any and all advice welcome.....
LEH22
I've been trying to get sober since 2006. Been thru 3 outpatient programs and would really like to do a 30 day inpatient program but money and logistics just won't allow it. I got all the right meds from my doc today to quit: antabuse, naltrexone and a few xanax to get through the withdrawals - mainly anxiety for me. But, then I got home, fixed dinner, heard the kids arguing and opened a bottle of wine. Crap.
I know i am an alcoholic, but I want to still believe I can occassionally drink on trips or at celebratory moments. Does that mean I haven;t really accepted that I am alcoholic.? Been to AA, got a sponsor but just don't keep with it. I am afraid it will take a DUI or other stupid incident to make me stop and I really don't want that.
I guess I am really suprised at how hard this is and how much harder quitting is getting. The most days sober I have had is 69 total from April to June of this year. Any and all advice welcome.....
LEH22
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by Threshold
In order to be successful at ANYTHING in my life. I need to focus on what I can do, and what I want to do, rather than dilute my purpose focusing on everything I cannot do.
If I want to learn to knit, I won't get anywhere if I am thinking about how I am NOT crocheting, NOT making pizza, NOT fixing a car, NOT on a date with Brad Pitt, you see what I mean.
I can't get sober if I am focusing on NOT drinking, and spending too much energy on worrying over never drinking again, etc. It dilutes my energy and focus. When I did that I was just white knuckling it. It was lousy.
I even had to give up my mental chess game of whether or not I am an alcoholic, or "just" a problem drinker and all that. I wasted a LONG time distracting myself with that one. Once I decided to not drink...the argument was moot. I got on with life.
Today I exercise my right to live my life sober, to drink any of the several thousand beverage choices that are not in the liquor/beer/wine aisle. To drive any time of the day or night (cause I'm not drunk), to treat my friends and family with respect, the list of "can's" and "do's" goes on and on, much more interesting and diverse than that one little "don't".
If I want to learn to knit, I won't get anywhere if I am thinking about how I am NOT crocheting, NOT making pizza, NOT fixing a car, NOT on a date with Brad Pitt, you see what I mean.
I can't get sober if I am focusing on NOT drinking, and spending too much energy on worrying over never drinking again, etc. It dilutes my energy and focus. When I did that I was just white knuckling it. It was lousy.
I even had to give up my mental chess game of whether or not I am an alcoholic, or "just" a problem drinker and all that. I wasted a LONG time distracting myself with that one. Once I decided to not drink...the argument was moot. I got on with life.
Today I exercise my right to live my life sober, to drink any of the several thousand beverage choices that are not in the liquor/beer/wine aisle. To drive any time of the day or night (cause I'm not drunk), to treat my friends and family with respect, the list of "can's" and "do's" goes on and on, much more interesting and diverse than that one little "don't".
And that's a good thing, such a good thing....knowing that drinking is not an option has opened up my life to all the options drinking foreclosed. In the end it is not about "giving something up", it's about being truly free to live my life.
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