Too Late
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Call your sponsor or one of the oldtimers in your group, see what they say.
I had the same symptoms as you for a long time but they slowly disappear.
Sally, I'm going to say the same thing as yesterday:
I would get down on my knees and ask, with every fiber of your being, for God's grace. Then call your sponsor.
I know you read the HOW IT WORKS above, what part are you having a problem with?
Don't you think it will work for you? Don't you think you need it? Do you think you are different?
All the best.
Bob R
I had the same symptoms as you for a long time but they slowly disappear.
Sally, I'm going to say the same thing as yesterday:
I would get down on my knees and ask, with every fiber of your being, for God's grace. Then call your sponsor.
I know you read the HOW IT WORKS above, what part are you having a problem with?
Don't you think it will work for you? Don't you think you need it? Do you think you are different?
All the best.
Bob R
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
2grand, most of your posts are just cliches & advice from the BigBook. While that can be good, not everyone has the experience you have had. It is attraction not promotion & you sometimes are advertising like you are on commission or something.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Oh Sally, I am so sorry you are going through this. Huge hugs to you. As I am still going through my own thing, I can't offer the best advise, but I just offer you my love and support.
It makes me sad, that you are so sad. Hang in there.
PM if you need.
It makes me sad, that you are so sad. Hang in there.
PM if you need.
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
2granddaughters; I have done what you suggested. No change. Yes, I have read "How It Works". It is read out at most meetings, so I know it by heart. I do have problems with that reading because of my atheist leanings. Nonetheless, I have been praying, daily for the last three weeks, to be relieved of my depression/anxiety and alcoholism. I have been talking to my sponsor daily, and calling other members. I dont know what more I can do. Prayer didnt cure my husband's cancer, and it isnt helping my alcoholism. It says God would and could if he were sought, but what happens when you have been seeking, and nothing works?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
2grand, most of your posts are just cliches & advice from the BigBook. While that can be good, not everyone has the experience you have had. It is attraction not promotion & you sometimes are advertising like you are on commission or something.
If you are an alcoholic as described in "The Doctors Opinion" or "How It Works" it is life or death. This is not a G.D. game !!
If you have a "drinking problem" and putting down the booze cures you, that's GREAT !!
In the end it's your call. I just want to be sure you are informed.
I had to attempt suicide before I was "informed". Trying to keep others from getting that bad.
And an alcoholic like me WILL GET THAT BAD.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Sally1009
2granddaughters; I have done what you suggested. No change. Yes, I have read "How It Works". It is read out at most meetings, so I know it by heart. I do have problems with that reading because of my atheist leanings. Nonetheless, I have been praying, daily for the last three weeks, to be relieved of my depression/anxiety and alcoholism. I have been talking to my sponsor daily, and calling other members. I dont know what more I can do. Prayer didnt cure my husband's cancer, and it isnt helping my alcoholism. It says God would and could if he were sought, but what happens when you have been seeking, and nothing works?
Cancer is one thing, your alcoholism is another.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Justfor1
2grand, most of your posts are just cliches & advice from the BigBook. While that can be good, not everyone has the experience you have had. It is attraction not promotion & you sometimes are advertising like you are on commission or something.
All the best.
Bob R
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Sally, it is never too late.
My mother ended up in ICU from her drinking in her mid-50s. From there she went to an assisted living facility for a year because she wasn't able to walk, dress herself, feed herself.
As a child, it was the most horrible thing to witness and I couldn't do anything to save her. I spent most of my 20s watching her get this point. I felt I was being tortured and going insane. Why wasn't I good enough to save her?
She eventually regained her ability to take care of herself (for the most part) and has been sober for 8+ years now. She has a good life.
When I think of the way things were back then, the painful emotions I had back then can overwhelm me as though it's actually happening again. That pain never goes away. The effects are everlasting.
It is never too late.
My mother ended up in ICU from her drinking in her mid-50s. From there she went to an assisted living facility for a year because she wasn't able to walk, dress herself, feed herself.
As a child, it was the most horrible thing to witness and I couldn't do anything to save her. I spent most of my 20s watching her get this point. I felt I was being tortured and going insane. Why wasn't I good enough to save her?
She eventually regained her ability to take care of herself (for the most part) and has been sober for 8+ years now. She has a good life.
When I think of the way things were back then, the painful emotions I had back then can overwhelm me as though it's actually happening again. That pain never goes away. The effects are everlasting.
It is never too late.
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
2granddaughters: i have asked the same questions to my current sponsors, previous sponsors and old-timers. Their answers never really made complete sense to me.
Paperdolls, thank you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that terrible pain with your mother. My son is going through it now. He is furious about this new relapse, and has just stormed out of my bedroom, slamming the door. I said again to ring Al-Anon, but he refuses. This is normally a quiet, gentle boy who is being driven to anger by my actions. What can I tell him?
Paperdolls, thank you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that terrible pain with your mother. My son is going through it now. He is furious about this new relapse, and has just stormed out of my bedroom, slamming the door. I said again to ring Al-Anon, but he refuses. This is normally a quiet, gentle boy who is being driven to anger by my actions. What can I tell him?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Sally1009
2granddaughters: i have asked the same questions to my current sponsors, previous sponsors and old-timers. Their answers never really made complete sense to me.
A lady friend recently celebrated 40 yrs sober, she said that she learned more in the last 10 yrs than the first 30.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
Thank you Bob, that actually makes more sense. Maybe I have been too impatient. It's just that at times the depression, grief for my husband and loneliness overwhelms me, and I am unable to resist the albeit temporary relief that alcohol brings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Sally, depression and anxiety can be incredibly hard to beat. Alcohol does make depression and anxiety a lot worse tho, I can tell you that from first hand experience. The brief period of relief that alcohol provides always has a rebound effect where the symptoms get much worse when it wears off. Alcohol truely is rocket fuel for depression.
AA can be a positive thing because it keeps you from isolating which is another thing that depression feeds on. AA is by no means a cure all for everything and I would doubt anyones suggesting that. Very often you need to attack depression from all fronts, therapy, medication, support groups, the whole 9 yards.
Dealing with the severe episodes is the hardest part of the equation and where it's all to easy to reach for the short term relief that alcohol provides. Can't you see a therapist and try to come up with a better way to deal with those periods? I hope you find some solutions, just never give up the fight, it's a battle you can win.
AA can be a positive thing because it keeps you from isolating which is another thing that depression feeds on. AA is by no means a cure all for everything and I would doubt anyones suggesting that. Very often you need to attack depression from all fronts, therapy, medication, support groups, the whole 9 yards.
Dealing with the severe episodes is the hardest part of the equation and where it's all to easy to reach for the short term relief that alcohol provides. Can't you see a therapist and try to come up with a better way to deal with those periods? I hope you find some solutions, just never give up the fight, it's a battle you can win.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((Sally))). Do you want to quit drinking? For a long time I just wanted the alcohol to work like it had before. My experience is that once it quits working, it never works again. I was only ending up depressed and miserable.
did you read through the thread on AVRT I posted? Do you know about urge surfing? These techniques can help you not drink until you can get into rehab. I think inpatient rehab would be very good for you. it was for me.
AA is a good program but if aren't able to work the program, please try something else. You don't have to suffer like this.
Love from Lenina
did you read through the thread on AVRT I posted? Do you know about urge surfing? These techniques can help you not drink until you can get into rehab. I think inpatient rehab would be very good for you. it was for me.
AA is a good program but if aren't able to work the program, please try something else. You don't have to suffer like this.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Oh, Sally, it is never too late!
I think the worst moments of my own depression came with the realization that I was extremely angry about the circumstances around me, which absolutely spiraled out of control, and that anger had nowhere to go. It resided within and kept me so sick. I consumed tons and tons of alcohol to alleviate the pain and anger and quell the fear that I would choke back, until the alcohol worked no more. It nearly killed me.
I grew up in an alcoholic home with two alcoholic parents. I loved my house; it was a comfort zone in my early childhood. The events that occurred in that house in my adolescent years changed my perspective on that house, and when it was sold after my parent's deaths, I didn't shed a tear or bat an eye for the house. The only tears shed were for the pain and tortured existence my family lived as a result of alcohol's slavery. Alcoholism was the catalyst for all those unhappy experiences; the house itself didn't make me happy or sad, and it was the witnessing of what had become that serves my memory when it comes to my childhood home.
In my own experience, I had to get alcohol out of my life and then work on what was revealed to me without alcohol muddying the waters.
Whether you subscribe to the AA model, the AVRT model, or a therapeutic model of alcoholism, one thing is clear from your posts, and I hope you do not take offense in my observation. The Disease, or the Addictive Voice of the Beast, or depression - whatever you want to call it -has you in its grips. I'm seeing a lot of reasons given as to why you cannot take concrete steps toward relief. You seem to be ruling out going to the hospital because you haven't had enough alcohol, can't sell the home because your son loves it and it has happy memories for him, you are too old, you are just one of those who cannot ever end the madness, etc. It is all disease or beast thinking.
Based on your post, it would seem that you are in jeopardy of losing your home and that would be a terrible circumstance because of your son's attachment to it. I find it far more sad that you asked him to call Al-Anon to learn how to deal with your problem. It shifts the responsiblity to him.
I have spent days in bed in the past where the shame and depression kept me from even getting up to reset the sheets or blankets on the bed. it seemed too much of an effort, so I don't speak of this lightly.
I used a three-pronged approach in my treatment for alcoholism: Inpatient rehab, AA, and outpatient aftercare. I was provided medication for depression on a short-term basis (about a year) and have found that the depression lifted after I got rid of the booze and faced life straight-on.
I hope you find the strength to put one foot in front of the other, because it is the sustained effort that gets you where you want to be. You are never too old to change.
All my best...
I think the worst moments of my own depression came with the realization that I was extremely angry about the circumstances around me, which absolutely spiraled out of control, and that anger had nowhere to go. It resided within and kept me so sick. I consumed tons and tons of alcohol to alleviate the pain and anger and quell the fear that I would choke back, until the alcohol worked no more. It nearly killed me.
I grew up in an alcoholic home with two alcoholic parents. I loved my house; it was a comfort zone in my early childhood. The events that occurred in that house in my adolescent years changed my perspective on that house, and when it was sold after my parent's deaths, I didn't shed a tear or bat an eye for the house. The only tears shed were for the pain and tortured existence my family lived as a result of alcohol's slavery. Alcoholism was the catalyst for all those unhappy experiences; the house itself didn't make me happy or sad, and it was the witnessing of what had become that serves my memory when it comes to my childhood home.
In my own experience, I had to get alcohol out of my life and then work on what was revealed to me without alcohol muddying the waters.
Whether you subscribe to the AA model, the AVRT model, or a therapeutic model of alcoholism, one thing is clear from your posts, and I hope you do not take offense in my observation. The Disease, or the Addictive Voice of the Beast, or depression - whatever you want to call it -has you in its grips. I'm seeing a lot of reasons given as to why you cannot take concrete steps toward relief. You seem to be ruling out going to the hospital because you haven't had enough alcohol, can't sell the home because your son loves it and it has happy memories for him, you are too old, you are just one of those who cannot ever end the madness, etc. It is all disease or beast thinking.
Based on your post, it would seem that you are in jeopardy of losing your home and that would be a terrible circumstance because of your son's attachment to it. I find it far more sad that you asked him to call Al-Anon to learn how to deal with your problem. It shifts the responsiblity to him.
I have spent days in bed in the past where the shame and depression kept me from even getting up to reset the sheets or blankets on the bed. it seemed too much of an effort, so I don't speak of this lightly.
I used a three-pronged approach in my treatment for alcoholism: Inpatient rehab, AA, and outpatient aftercare. I was provided medication for depression on a short-term basis (about a year) and have found that the depression lifted after I got rid of the booze and faced life straight-on.
I hope you find the strength to put one foot in front of the other, because it is the sustained effort that gets you where you want to be. You are never too old to change.
All my best...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
