new here quiting drinking for a month
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
new here quiting drinking for a month
I had the long talk with my BF a few nights ago after one of my drunken drama episodes (emotional and talking about the past and other lame stuff). Anyhow, I decided to quit drinking for a month- I think it has been about a week so far.
He didn’t ask me or complain about my drinking. I am just sick of it. What used to be fun, drinking, is now causing problems for me. Now, when I drink, I am up to an 8 pack of tall boys in one night. I wasn’t drinking every night, maybe twice a week, and hardly ever the next day.
He doesn't drink, but enjoys a little weed here and there.
Also, I went to a concert not too long ago, and overdid it (not stumbling down sloppy drunk, but pretty buzzed) Even though I can handle a good amount of alcohol I was paranoid the whole night because I had on high heel shoes and I was worried if I was walking straight and I was also afraid I would say something stupid- instead of having fun. But, if I did wobble a little I blamed it on the shoes (they were 5 inch heels). I never used to give a hoot about things like that- I am more and more paranoid when I drink. Even the next day I stressed about it -wondering if people were looking at me like some kind of lush. Yes, I was happy and somewhat friendly, but I didn’t act the fool. Not sure what the worry is about.
I am also not sure if I belong here or not, but I guess I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think something was wrong. The main thing is drinking seems to be making me paranoid and anxious. Is that typical?
Sorry to be long winded
Thank you
He didn’t ask me or complain about my drinking. I am just sick of it. What used to be fun, drinking, is now causing problems for me. Now, when I drink, I am up to an 8 pack of tall boys in one night. I wasn’t drinking every night, maybe twice a week, and hardly ever the next day.
He doesn't drink, but enjoys a little weed here and there.
Also, I went to a concert not too long ago, and overdid it (not stumbling down sloppy drunk, but pretty buzzed) Even though I can handle a good amount of alcohol I was paranoid the whole night because I had on high heel shoes and I was worried if I was walking straight and I was also afraid I would say something stupid- instead of having fun. But, if I did wobble a little I blamed it on the shoes (they were 5 inch heels). I never used to give a hoot about things like that- I am more and more paranoid when I drink. Even the next day I stressed about it -wondering if people were looking at me like some kind of lush. Yes, I was happy and somewhat friendly, but I didn’t act the fool. Not sure what the worry is about.
I am also not sure if I belong here or not, but I guess I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think something was wrong. The main thing is drinking seems to be making me paranoid and anxious. Is that typical?
Sorry to be long winded
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR MetalChick...I had a real hard time admitting to myself when alcohol was a major problem for me...I worked the denial angle right down to where there was nothing left for me to lose....I'm an alcoholic....And I have been for a long time. We cross a line in our drinking careers where alcohol doesn't work anymore...Where it's not fun any more...Where we need it rather than want it....Are you there yet?...I have no clue. Nobody knows that but you. You may be able to make it a month and go back to where you were when you started....I think a better test is 90 days.....If your not an alcoholic...That shouldn't be a problem for you....If in that time you become irritable, restless and discontent....Then alcohol could be your problem...If you're fine without it...Nothing to worry about.....One thing I do know about alcoholism...It is progressive...It gets worse never better.
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
I see what you mean about 90 days being better. I can tell you week 1 is sucking. Day 1 - I lay in bed all day. Day 2- went to dept. store to shop to take my mind off things, and I got a pain in my stomach, and got faint and dizzy in the dressing room and almost passed out. I had to sit there in the dressing room till I felt OK. I was so scared someone was going to find me half naked in the dressing room passed out. Then I thought eating would help, so I went for lunch, but got sick from the food. These past couple days, I feel better physically, but I do not feel like doing a damn thing- I do not want to get dressed or go outside. I have zero motivation, zero. I just can’t think clearly at all right now, and nothing seems the same- like I am in some alternate universe. I know that sounds nuts. I sort of feel like just a 4 pack of tall boys would make me feel better, but I also know it will make me feel worse. What a mind screw.
BTW, thank you
BTW, thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
It doesn't sound nuts to me...I drank myself to the point I couldn't make it through an afternoon without it....Like I said...It is progressive...And if you cross that line...You don't go back to how it was....Try it out...If you can't do it....You might want to consider giving it up for good...Before it puts you through the misery...It put me through.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hey, MetalChick, welcome to the team, and congratulations to you for making the decision to post here at SR. I don't know how your behavior might have looked to others that night, but you seem concerned about it. I think every time I had some concerns about how drunk I was in a certain situation, it hadn't been at all pretty. 'I think I pulled it off' meant that somebody got embarrassed that night.
Keep an open mind, and spend some time here reading posts from other folks like you who have arrived at the point where some questions have come up that need to be answered. There is much experience here in these pages, and many kind folks who are happy to talk with you. Keep posting, OK?
Best to you.
Keep an open mind, and spend some time here reading posts from other folks like you who have arrived at the point where some questions have come up that need to be answered. There is much experience here in these pages, and many kind folks who are happy to talk with you. Keep posting, OK?
Best to you.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hi MC, welcome.
I think a test is a great idea, because it may help you figure out why you drink, which parts are the hardest for you etc. The real issues start bubbling to the surface. Sometimes this helps a person stop way sooner than they might otherwise. They are able to get a taste of what alcohol is doing to them and their lives and a taste of sobriety, and decide they want to stay quit.
I agree that 90 days would be an even better test.
My boyfriend has quit drinking (again) and he is only ten days clean, and is just getting out of the fog, shaking hands, chest flutters of those first few days sober. Some people will still be having some of those physical, mental stuff after 30 days, will feel like sobriety isn't worth it and go right back to drinking. So 90 days actually gives you a much clearer and more honest test, a test of what clean living feels like after the acute withdrawal issues.
Stick around here and you will learn even more about how sobriety plays out beyond 90 days!
I have heard many many people say they wished they'd quit sooner, wish they had not wasted decades drinking, but I have never heard one person say "boy, I wish I'd drunk my 20's, 30's, and 40's away, that would have really made life better" or said "I wish I'd become an alky sooner, this is the life!" I just have never heard anyone say that.
I think a test is a great idea, because it may help you figure out why you drink, which parts are the hardest for you etc. The real issues start bubbling to the surface. Sometimes this helps a person stop way sooner than they might otherwise. They are able to get a taste of what alcohol is doing to them and their lives and a taste of sobriety, and decide they want to stay quit.
I agree that 90 days would be an even better test.
My boyfriend has quit drinking (again) and he is only ten days clean, and is just getting out of the fog, shaking hands, chest flutters of those first few days sober. Some people will still be having some of those physical, mental stuff after 30 days, will feel like sobriety isn't worth it and go right back to drinking. So 90 days actually gives you a much clearer and more honest test, a test of what clean living feels like after the acute withdrawal issues.
Stick around here and you will learn even more about how sobriety plays out beyond 90 days!
I have heard many many people say they wished they'd quit sooner, wish they had not wasted decades drinking, but I have never heard one person say "boy, I wish I'd drunk my 20's, 30's, and 40's away, that would have really made life better" or said "I wish I'd become an alky sooner, this is the life!" I just have never heard anyone say that.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Welcome to SR.
You're in the right place to find answers to your questions, I think.
For me, I was ok while I was drinking, but when the buzz wore off... that's when the guilt and anxiety hit me. While I was buzzed, I was relaxed, happy, content... a nice person. When I wasn't, I was irritable, short tempered, stressed and I didn't like me at all.
Going 90 days without a drink? I'm trying to think if I've ever done that in my life, and I don't know. My memory is pretty much shot.
You're in the right place to find answers to your questions, I think.
For me, I was ok while I was drinking, but when the buzz wore off... that's when the guilt and anxiety hit me. While I was buzzed, I was relaxed, happy, content... a nice person. When I wasn't, I was irritable, short tempered, stressed and I didn't like me at all.
Going 90 days without a drink? I'm trying to think if I've ever done that in my life, and I don't know. My memory is pretty much shot.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
I really can't think of a single thing that alcohol enhanced
when I was a drinker. Yes...I thought it did...but fantasy isn't fact.
All my best to both of you.
I really can't think of a single thing that alcohol enhanced
when I was a drinker. Yes...I thought it did...but fantasy isn't fact.
All my best to both of you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 139
93 days ago, I was in your exact position. Wondering if maybe I had a problem, but pretty certain I had it under control. I came on here saying I wouldn't drink for a week 
I thought that was some great venture! People suggested I do 90 days and I thought that was a little extreme. A little too much of an over-correction. So, I said I would do 30. Forever the negotiator!
I started going to AA meetings, and found that I could really identify with the emotions behind why people drank. I ALWAYS drank for the effect. And I drank if I was happy, sad, angry, lonely, bored, depressed, celebrating, wallowing, etc. Alcohol had become my companion.
I finally agreed to give 90 days a shot. For the first month, I was a raw nerve. I cried ALL THE TIME, I was irritable and angry at the drop of a hat. I became even more socially awkward than I already am, and could barely speak a sentence. I had trouble concentrating, I felt tired all the time, I had no motivation to do anything, little appetite, etc. I heard about PAWS (post alcohol withdrawal syndrome), and discovered that can last for a while.
So 90 days really did help clear my head, and my body. Life isn't "roses and orgasms" (as my sponsor calls it), but physically and mentally I feel so much better than I ever did while drinking. The time also gave me the perspective I needed to see that alcohol really was much more of a problem than I was giving it credit for.
I wish you luck, and I hope you will stay around and figure out for yourself what you need right now.
I thought that was some great venture! People suggested I do 90 days and I thought that was a little extreme. A little too much of an over-correction. So, I said I would do 30. Forever the negotiator! I started going to AA meetings, and found that I could really identify with the emotions behind why people drank. I ALWAYS drank for the effect. And I drank if I was happy, sad, angry, lonely, bored, depressed, celebrating, wallowing, etc. Alcohol had become my companion.
I finally agreed to give 90 days a shot. For the first month, I was a raw nerve. I cried ALL THE TIME, I was irritable and angry at the drop of a hat. I became even more socially awkward than I already am, and could barely speak a sentence. I had trouble concentrating, I felt tired all the time, I had no motivation to do anything, little appetite, etc. I heard about PAWS (post alcohol withdrawal syndrome), and discovered that can last for a while.
So 90 days really did help clear my head, and my body. Life isn't "roses and orgasms" (as my sponsor calls it), but physically and mentally I feel so much better than I ever did while drinking. The time also gave me the perspective I needed to see that alcohol really was much more of a problem than I was giving it credit for.
I wish you luck, and I hope you will stay around and figure out for yourself what you need right now.
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
12skiptomylue
Thank you, I can relate. I was thinking that the other night. I drink when I am happy, sad, to reward myself for a long day, when I am bored etc...
Also, I am glad you mentioned that you felt bad for a while. A lot of people say they feel better in a week, and its over a week for me, and I can't even seem to get dressed for the day. I was so scared I will always feel bad.
I will take it a day at a time. I know my mind is going back and forth saying you have a problem, and part of me is saying " no, you are making a big deal over nothing-- go out and have some fun.
Ty for your helpful post
Thank you, I can relate. I was thinking that the other night. I drink when I am happy, sad, to reward myself for a long day, when I am bored etc...
Also, I am glad you mentioned that you felt bad for a while. A lot of people say they feel better in a week, and its over a week for me, and I can't even seem to get dressed for the day. I was so scared I will always feel bad.
I will take it a day at a time. I know my mind is going back and forth saying you have a problem, and part of me is saying " no, you are making a big deal over nothing-- go out and have some fun.
Ty for your helpful post
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by MalkavianEmily 
Welcome to SR.
You're in the right place to find answers to your questions, I think.
For me, I was ok while I was drinking, but when the buzz wore off... that's when the guilt and anxiety hit me. While I was buzzed, I was relaxed, happy, content... a nice person. When I wasn't, I was irritable, short tempered, stressed and I didn't like me at all.
Going 90 days without a drink? I'm trying to think if I've ever done that in my life, and I don't know. My memory is pretty much shot.
You're in the right place to find answers to your questions, I think.
For me, I was ok while I was drinking, but when the buzz wore off... that's when the guilt and anxiety hit me. While I was buzzed, I was relaxed, happy, content... a nice person. When I wasn't, I was irritable, short tempered, stressed and I didn't like me at all.
Going 90 days without a drink? I'm trying to think if I've ever done that in my life, and I don't know. My memory is pretty much shot.
Thank you
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by Sapling
Please do...I was terrified...I came to find out...That FEAR...Was the main thing that kept me drinking....Fear of what?....Fear of everything.
I can relate to that for sure, thank you. If there is something to be fearful about, I will find it. A little voice in my head tells me I want to learn to face my fear.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by MetalChick
I can relate to that for sure, thank you. If there is something to be fearful about, I will find it. A little voice in my head tells me I want to learn to face my fear.
I was scared I would fail...Again...If I tried to stop.
I was scared I wouldn't have any friends if I quit.
I was scared no one would like me...If I didn't drink.
I was scared I wouldn't be me...Without alcohol.
Listen to that little voice...It's called courage...The only fear that I had to get through...Was the worst fear I had....Fear of change. Once I did that...I haven't had a drink since. All that stuff I was scared of was bullsh!t.
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