Firmly back in the game
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Firmly back in the game
Feeling good, right back where I left off. Now is the time to reflect on where I don't want to go again. Happily, I haven't even thought about drinking the last few days. Sometimes I obsess over it but not now which is a good thing.
I am going to sit down to a movie with my wife and enjoy some snacks and then get some shut eye.
Have a great sober night everyone
I am going to sit down to a movie with my wife and enjoy some snacks and then get some shut eye.
Have a great sober night everyone
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Sudz No More 
Feeling good, right back where I left off. Now is the time to reflect on where I don't want to go again. Happily, I haven't even thought about drinking the last few days. Sometimes I obsess over it but not now which is a good thing.
I am going to sit down to a movie with my wife and enjoy some snacks and then get some shut eye.
Have a great sober night everyone
I am going to sit down to a movie with my wife and enjoy some snacks and then get some shut eye.
Have a great sober night everyone
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 13
Perhaps a couples therapist is the place to take this discussion, not the internetz? Just saying it's kind of a dangerous place to air all this out.
I understand you're wanting to relay one thing to him and whatnot, but perhaps better to keep your threads separate or maybe post for support in one of the al-anon sub-forums asking for advice.
Airing this all out here is rather shaming, and not necessarily in a beneficial way. Every story has two sides but if he wants to keep up a charade regarding sobriety and it is affecting you and your family then that is the kind of thing a therapist should be looking into, not a forum of drunks like us
Look at it like this: alcoholics, especially those in early recovery and not working any sort of program or seeing any sort of outside help, are superb at lying. That's why they have support groups for people in relationships with alcoholics and addicts. Without a firm base of recovery, like meetings or council, we are akin to turn again and again to our old "solution", a bottle and then another.
Just trying to say, as gently as possible, that if this here is how you two communicate, through posting on an internet forum for the world wide web to play referee, than perhaps there is more to be addressed than simply the drinking...
Then again i'm an alcoholic a$$hole on my first day sober after quite a long bender so take it all with a grain of salt. My glass house is just as susceptible to rocks, for sure.
*which is my way of saying PLEASE don't take this as me just being an a$$, but sometimes people say things you don't want to hear but need to*
With that said, have you looked into Al-Anon or any other sort of support for yourself? It might be beneficial to be in dialog with those who are dealing with similar issues as yours. Over here on the alcoholism board we're just a bunch of ... drunks, some with lots of sobriety, some like myself who have a limited amount of sober time, and others who are lurking around and getting ready to 'pull the trigger' on getting off the booze.
The 'friends and family of alcoholics' might be the better place to get these feelings off your chest and to find others who might be a little more diplomatic and have actual solutions for you that will help. My best is that no matter what you say or do an alcoholic will drink until they decide it's time to stop. Others may have more realistic advice for you. I've been on both the drinking and being sober while a significant other drinks and neither position is easy, that's for sure.
Best wishes, and hang in there. It's a tough situation.
Be well,
Lumin
I understand you're wanting to relay one thing to him and whatnot, but perhaps better to keep your threads separate or maybe post for support in one of the al-anon sub-forums asking for advice.
Airing this all out here is rather shaming, and not necessarily in a beneficial way. Every story has two sides but if he wants to keep up a charade regarding sobriety and it is affecting you and your family then that is the kind of thing a therapist should be looking into, not a forum of drunks like us
Look at it like this: alcoholics, especially those in early recovery and not working any sort of program or seeing any sort of outside help, are superb at lying. That's why they have support groups for people in relationships with alcoholics and addicts. Without a firm base of recovery, like meetings or council, we are akin to turn again and again to our old "solution", a bottle and then another.
Just trying to say, as gently as possible, that if this here is how you two communicate, through posting on an internet forum for the world wide web to play referee, than perhaps there is more to be addressed than simply the drinking...
Then again i'm an alcoholic a$$hole on my first day sober after quite a long bender so take it all with a grain of salt. My glass house is just as susceptible to rocks, for sure.
*which is my way of saying PLEASE don't take this as me just being an a$$, but sometimes people say things you don't want to hear but need to*
With that said, have you looked into Al-Anon or any other sort of support for yourself? It might be beneficial to be in dialog with those who are dealing with similar issues as yours. Over here on the alcoholism board we're just a bunch of ... drunks, some with lots of sobriety, some like myself who have a limited amount of sober time, and others who are lurking around and getting ready to 'pull the trigger' on getting off the booze.
The 'friends and family of alcoholics' might be the better place to get these feelings off your chest and to find others who might be a little more diplomatic and have actual solutions for you that will help. My best is that no matter what you say or do an alcoholic will drink until they decide it's time to stop. Others may have more realistic advice for you. I've been on both the drinking and being sober while a significant other drinks and neither position is easy, that's for sure.
Best wishes, and hang in there. It's a tough situation.
Be well,
Lumin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Originally Posted by Lumin
Perhaps a couples therapist is the place to take this discussion, not the internetz? Just saying it's kind of a dangerous place to air all this out.
I understand you're wanting to relay one thing to him and whatnot, but perhaps better to keep your threads separate or maybe post for support in one of the al-anon sub-forums asking for advice.
Airing this all out here is rather shaming, and not necessarily in a beneficial way. Every story has two sides but if he wants to keep up a charade regarding sobriety and it is affecting you and your family then that is the kind of thing a therapist should be looking into, not a forum of drunks like us
Look at it like this: alcoholics, especially those in early recovery and not working any sort of program or seeing any sort of outside help, are superb at lying. That's why they have support groups for people in relationships with alcoholics and addicts. Without a firm base of recovery, like meetings or council, we are akin to turn again and again to our old "solution", a bottle and then another.
Just trying to say, as gently as possible, that if this here is how you two communicate, through posting on an internet forum for the world wide web to play referee, than perhaps there is more to be addressed than simply the drinking...
Then again i'm an alcoholic a$$hole on my first day sober after quite a long bender so take it all with a grain of salt. My glass house is just as susceptible to rocks, for sure.
*which is my way of saying PLEASE don't take this as me just being an a$$, but sometimes people say things you don't want to hear but need to*
With that said, have you looked into Al-Anon or any other sort of support for yourself? It might be beneficial to be in dialog with those who are dealing with similar issues as yours. Over here on the alcoholism board we're just a bunch of ... drunks, some with lots of sobriety, some like myself who have a limited amount of sober time, and others who are lurking around and getting ready to 'pull the trigger' on getting off the booze.
The 'friends and family of alcoholics' might be the better place to get these feelings off your chest and to find others who might be a little more diplomatic and have actual solutions for you that will help. My best is that no matter what you say or do an alcoholic will drink until they decide it's time to stop. Others may have more realistic advice for you. I've been on both the drinking and being sober while a significant other drinks and neither position is easy, that's for sure.
Best wishes, and hang in there. It's a tough situation.
Be well,
Lumin
I understand you're wanting to relay one thing to him and whatnot, but perhaps better to keep your threads separate or maybe post for support in one of the al-anon sub-forums asking for advice.
Airing this all out here is rather shaming, and not necessarily in a beneficial way. Every story has two sides but if he wants to keep up a charade regarding sobriety and it is affecting you and your family then that is the kind of thing a therapist should be looking into, not a forum of drunks like us
Look at it like this: alcoholics, especially those in early recovery and not working any sort of program or seeing any sort of outside help, are superb at lying. That's why they have support groups for people in relationships with alcoholics and addicts. Without a firm base of recovery, like meetings or council, we are akin to turn again and again to our old "solution", a bottle and then another.
Just trying to say, as gently as possible, that if this here is how you two communicate, through posting on an internet forum for the world wide web to play referee, than perhaps there is more to be addressed than simply the drinking...
Then again i'm an alcoholic a$$hole on my first day sober after quite a long bender so take it all with a grain of salt. My glass house is just as susceptible to rocks, for sure.
*which is my way of saying PLEASE don't take this as me just being an a$$, but sometimes people say things you don't want to hear but need to*
With that said, have you looked into Al-Anon or any other sort of support for yourself? It might be beneficial to be in dialog with those who are dealing with similar issues as yours. Over here on the alcoholism board we're just a bunch of ... drunks, some with lots of sobriety, some like myself who have a limited amount of sober time, and others who are lurking around and getting ready to 'pull the trigger' on getting off the booze.
The 'friends and family of alcoholics' might be the better place to get these feelings off your chest and to find others who might be a little more diplomatic and have actual solutions for you that will help. My best is that no matter what you say or do an alcoholic will drink until they decide it's time to stop. Others may have more realistic advice for you. I've been on both the drinking and being sober while a significant other drinks and neither position is easy, that's for sure.
Best wishes, and hang in there. It's a tough situation.
Be well,
Lumin
I still know that I have done reasonably well fighting Alcohol on my own and she has not made it easy. I am very docile drinking or not and she has brought the fight to me. She has damaged what good I was able to do here so I may not post again for a while if at all
Thanks to all who have given me advice here.
Sudz
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 14
All I know is that when I am sick, I go to a doctor and look for help. And I have health problems that are not easy to live with and get better, when my husband is an alcoholic. He refuses to go to anybody that can help him to recover. This forum is the only place that he comes to, but only when he is sober, never when he is about to drink!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Eviza
All I know is that when I am sick, I go to a doctor and look for help.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Work on what you can fix...yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 14
Thank you!
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Perhaps you can find solace and support in our forum for friends and family:
...
Work on what you can fix...yourself.
...
Work on what you can fix...yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
It's good reading an exchange between an active alcoholic and a codependent. Keeps it green, reminds me of where I came from, what it was like and what it's like now. Thank God it's in my past.
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