Is it possible to remain sober without meetings?..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
One of my close friends got sober through AA. I am a self recovered alcoholic ..... 500 days yesterday, in fact. We both worked very hard on our individual methods of recovery. I respect her choice and she respects mine.
The one thing I would caution against, though, is your stated preference for isolation. Be careful with that. There really is safety in numbers. Good luck to you in finding your niche! Let us know how it goes!
The one thing I would caution against, though, is your stated preference for isolation. Be careful with that. There really is safety in numbers. Good luck to you in finding your niche! Let us know how it goes!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 120
Never found a reason NOT to make AA part of my recovered life. Hope I never do. Nothing but respect for others opinions here, but I personally got tired of playing the odds without AA and having no continuous sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
Putting aside debate on the finer points of various programs, AA meetings for me are immensely beneficial because I get out and interact with humanity. This is an incredible, basic form of therapy. My college buddies are scattered across the States, my grad school peers have moved on, I only make idle chit-chat with neighbors while mowing the lawn or moving the sprinkler. Since I work at home or in the library, my world while drinking was a bubble of grotesque isolation. I blew off tons of social invitations, saying I needed to stay home and work. Most of the time I stayed home and drank. Or I sat in the library with the jitters, beset by fear that I would turn the corner of a book stack and run smack into a professor, who would immediately know how broken I was.
Getting the nerve to go to meetings consistently was a huge advance for me. I walk into the rooms and find strangers who at once cease to be strangers since we share a common human affliction. We are social creatures, and at least for this alcoholic, being profoundly antisocial was a key part of my sickness. Meetings are a powerful cure for this. I take comfort in shared humanity, I can see it for the beautiful thing it is, and I learn not to fear it.
Getting the nerve to go to meetings consistently was a huge advance for me. I walk into the rooms and find strangers who at once cease to be strangers since we share a common human affliction. We are social creatures, and at least for this alcoholic, being profoundly antisocial was a key part of my sickness. Meetings are a powerful cure for this. I take comfort in shared humanity, I can see it for the beautiful thing it is, and I learn not to fear it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Reading through the posts here, I'm happy that AA was the only choice I had when I got sober. I'm happy there was no internet either. If there were I can imagine myself having small successes, trying different methods, and going on and on and on....
I didn't like AA when I started. I had panic attacts at meetings. It took me 6 months before I could sit still and felt as if I were a part of it at all. Had I had any alternatives I would have taken them, I'm certain. But I didn't. It was do this (go to AA), or die.
I try very hard to stay open minded. I believe there are other methods to achieve sobriety. I believe there are people who think they're alcoholics, but aren't. I believe there are people who can simply choose to put down a drink if things get bad enough, and are successful. I couldn't do that. And I believe that without AA I wouldn't have a chance at the productive life I have. I was completely non functioning with alcohol in me. Since getting sober I've been rid of my panic attacks and other phobias, gone to college, become a HS teacher, traveled the world, lived some of my dreams and fantasies as a musician, become a husband, become a landlord, done countless things that I never thought imaginable. At least not for me. I was a 23 year old uneducated, unemployable, derelict living with my parents with a ton of fears and phobias, who believe he was comletely hopeless - when I put down a drink.
Without AA (or some other program of recovery) there is no way on earth that I'd have achieved any of the above. Keeping the drink down seems now like such a tiny little part of it all. Probably the easiest part.
I didn't like AA when I started. I had panic attacts at meetings. It took me 6 months before I could sit still and felt as if I were a part of it at all. Had I had any alternatives I would have taken them, I'm certain. But I didn't. It was do this (go to AA), or die.
I try very hard to stay open minded. I believe there are other methods to achieve sobriety. I believe there are people who think they're alcoholics, but aren't. I believe there are people who can simply choose to put down a drink if things get bad enough, and are successful. I couldn't do that. And I believe that without AA I wouldn't have a chance at the productive life I have. I was completely non functioning with alcohol in me. Since getting sober I've been rid of my panic attacks and other phobias, gone to college, become a HS teacher, traveled the world, lived some of my dreams and fantasies as a musician, become a husband, become a landlord, done countless things that I never thought imaginable. At least not for me. I was a 23 year old uneducated, unemployable, derelict living with my parents with a ton of fears and phobias, who believe he was comletely hopeless - when I put down a drink.
Without AA (or some other program of recovery) there is no way on earth that I'd have achieved any of the above. Keeping the drink down seems now like such a tiny little part of it all. Probably the easiest part.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
I still need to drag my butt to a meeting (then another and another...), but I would like to go just to be with other sober people\recovering alcoholics and help when I can. I am coming up on 9 months clean & sober (June 22) and am very solid in my sobriety, worked through the steps the best I could and used some of AVRT as well.
I'm sure face-to-face meetings would have help me in the early months, but I was never court-ordered, my social anxiety always got the best of me and I'd drive right on by the meeting places. :-\
There is great satisfaction with my recovery and I know some of that is due to my 'DIY' method, but I feel like it was my time to give-it-up, I knew it. When 'hope' was restored inside of me the drink started to fade away.
I'm sure face-to-face meetings would have help me in the early months, but I was never court-ordered, my social anxiety always got the best of me and I'd drive right on by the meeting places. :-\
There is great satisfaction with my recovery and I know some of that is due to my 'DIY' method, but I feel like it was my time to give-it-up, I knew it. When 'hope' was restored inside of me the drink started to fade away.
Guest
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by ericz 
...Or at least attending online meetings as needed, coupled with big book study, and online community activity? I had my first drink 26 years ago, and have known I was an alcoholic for the last 20 years. I have been to approximately 150 (usually forced;none in the last 5 years) combined meetings for both N.A. and A.A. Alcohol is my drug of choice: other drugs are mainly a result of a primary alcohol binge. I have been cutting down and have tried to quit at least a 5 times this year alone.
I finally, for the first time realized that I've needed support all along. Up until this time I had deep down rationalized that I could win this battle, and that victory was right around the corner. I now recognize that the value of a support network specifically for the most overwhelming obstacle most of us will ever endure.
I feel that I have been waiting for this moment for eternity, and my spirit is free. This seeming re-birth, and belief in support has me reveling in faith that this time will be different. I know how long I can go without alcohol on my own, and now that I am finishing day 4, I have about 20 days to decide how to approach my program.
One of my drinking buddies moved back to Hawaii on Monday, and my other one is gone for the next month or maybe longer depending on if he passes a warrant release check. My wife is one of my main triggers, but is also not a drinker, and avidly agrees with my sobriety: I spend a majority of my time with her and the kids. If she sets me off I will find the closest meeting at that minute and get to it!
ANYWAY...[simple alcoholic justification]
I just don't feel like being around people physically right now, and am an introvert naturally. I prefer the seemingly greater anonymity online, as to in person: I do not need anymore drinking buddies. I am always on the wagon, and for the last 6 months have simply relapsed a number of times. I know the outer-workings of the 12-step program, and desire to seek further knowledge through meaningful discussions on this medium.
Thanks for reading this: just writing it has stopped me from drinking for an hour. I am seeking ideas for various methods of maintaining sobriety outside of "the program", and appreciate any relevant advice.
Best Wishes
ericz
I finally, for the first time realized that I've needed support all along. Up until this time I had deep down rationalized that I could win this battle, and that victory was right around the corner. I now recognize that the value of a support network specifically for the most overwhelming obstacle most of us will ever endure.
I feel that I have been waiting for this moment for eternity, and my spirit is free. This seeming re-birth, and belief in support has me reveling in faith that this time will be different. I know how long I can go without alcohol on my own, and now that I am finishing day 4, I have about 20 days to decide how to approach my program.
One of my drinking buddies moved back to Hawaii on Monday, and my other one is gone for the next month or maybe longer depending on if he passes a warrant release check. My wife is one of my main triggers, but is also not a drinker, and avidly agrees with my sobriety: I spend a majority of my time with her and the kids. If she sets me off I will find the closest meeting at that minute and get to it!
ANYWAY...[simple alcoholic justification]
I just don't feel like being around people physically right now, and am an introvert naturally. I prefer the seemingly greater anonymity online, as to in person: I do not need anymore drinking buddies. I am always on the wagon, and for the last 6 months have simply relapsed a number of times. I know the outer-workings of the 12-step program, and desire to seek further knowledge through meaningful discussions on this medium.
Thanks for reading this: just writing it has stopped me from drinking for an hour. I am seeking ideas for various methods of maintaining sobriety outside of "the program", and appreciate any relevant advice.
Best Wishes
ericz
Someone I talked to which is a recovering alcoholic (I've known her for 16 years) goes to AA. She mentioned I need to be careful because I may have "pink cloud" syndrome, as I don't even crave or want a drink and feel just normal.
In the event things get bad, or something triggers me to start to have cravings or the urge, I will start to attend meetings.
I have thought about attending them just for something to do to get out of the house more and meet new people that don't drink.
Considering I never used it in my own personal recovery, it's not a tool that I accustomed myself to need in order to stay sober (if that makes any sense)...
Just my 2 cents.
-RDY
and RDYtoQuit DID! 5 weeks tomorrow! Hooray and feel great (wow, the exercise and sun helps, also supplements)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by ericz
...Or at least attending online meetings as needed, coupled with big book study, and online community activity? I had my first drink 26 years ago, and have known I was an alcoholic for the last 20 years. I have been to approximately 150 (usually forced;none in the last 5 years) combined meetings for both N.A. and A.A. Alcohol is my drug of choice: other drugs are mainly a result of a primary alcohol binge. I have been cutting down and have tried to quit at least a 5 times this year alone.
I finally, for the first time realized that I've needed support all along. Up until this time I had deep down rationalized that I could win this battle, and that victory was right around the corner. I now recognize that the value of a support network specifically for the most overwhelming obstacle most of us will ever endure.
I feel that I have been waiting for this moment for eternity, and my spirit is free. This seeming re-birth, and belief in support has me reveling in faith that this time will be different. I know how long I can go without alcohol on my own, and now that I am finishing day 4, I have about 20 days to decide how to approach my program.
One of my drinking buddies moved back to Hawaii on Monday, and my other one is gone for the next month or maybe longer depending on if he passes a warrant release check. My wife is one of my main triggers, but is also not a drinker, and avidly agrees with my sobriety: I spend a majority of my time with her and the kids. If she sets me off I will find the closest meeting at that minute and get to it!
ANYWAY...[simple alcoholic justification]
I just don't feel like being around people physically right now, and am an introvert naturally. I prefer the seemingly greater anonymity online, as to in person: I do not need anymore drinking buddies. I am always on the wagon, and for the last 6 months have simply relapsed a number of times. I know the outer-workings of the 12-step program, and desire to seek further knowledge through meaningful discussions on this medium.
Thanks for reading this: just writing it has stopped me from drinking for an hour. I am seeking ideas for various methods of maintaining sobriety outside of "the program", and appreciate any relevant advice.
Best Wishes
ericz
I finally, for the first time realized that I've needed support all along. Up until this time I had deep down rationalized that I could win this battle, and that victory was right around the corner. I now recognize that the value of a support network specifically for the most overwhelming obstacle most of us will ever endure.
I feel that I have been waiting for this moment for eternity, and my spirit is free. This seeming re-birth, and belief in support has me reveling in faith that this time will be different. I know how long I can go without alcohol on my own, and now that I am finishing day 4, I have about 20 days to decide how to approach my program.
One of my drinking buddies moved back to Hawaii on Monday, and my other one is gone for the next month or maybe longer depending on if he passes a warrant release check. My wife is one of my main triggers, but is also not a drinker, and avidly agrees with my sobriety: I spend a majority of my time with her and the kids. If she sets me off I will find the closest meeting at that minute and get to it!
ANYWAY...[simple alcoholic justification]
I just don't feel like being around people physically right now, and am an introvert naturally. I prefer the seemingly greater anonymity online, as to in person: I do not need anymore drinking buddies. I am always on the wagon, and for the last 6 months have simply relapsed a number of times. I know the outer-workings of the 12-step program, and desire to seek further knowledge through meaningful discussions on this medium.
Thanks for reading this: just writing it has stopped me from drinking for an hour. I am seeking ideas for various methods of maintaining sobriety outside of "the program", and appreciate any relevant advice.
Best Wishes
ericz
Honestly, I think it is totally possible.
I don't like meetings and don't like the "cult" feeling I get from them. Though I realize they do wonders for a lot of people, it's just not for me.
.....just sayin
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by TimeInABottle
I don't like meetings and don't like the "cult" feeling I get from them. Though I realize they do wonders for a lot of people, it's just not for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 248
I was sober 3 1/2 years with online resources - I went to f2f meetings sporadically. Of course, my therapist tells me that my relapse is because I never attended meetings regularly. I don't believe that. My father has been sober for 32 years without a meeting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Is it possible?....Sure it's possible...Many people have done it. I go to meetings to give back what was given to me....I prefer to go to them...There are a lot of people that don't use AA or ones that do that don't go to meetings...Shouldn't the question really be?...Is what I am doing working for me?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
At my usual 10 a.m. HG today was a new face to me.
John who must use a device to speak thru....has a huge part
of his face collapsed ..one eye drooped
He had tried to shoot himself during a drunken night and today
he asked if he could read The Promises
That my friends is why I will never quit going to live AA
I truly see recovery miracles ..people willing to share to
help another..
Why on earth would I want to miss people like John or you
or anyone who is there...trying to win over alcohol?
John who must use a device to speak thru....has a huge part
of his face collapsed ..one eye drooped
He had tried to shoot himself during a drunken night and today
he asked if he could read The Promises
That my friends is why I will never quit going to live AA
I truly see recovery miracles ..people willing to share to
help another..
Why on earth would I want to miss people like John or you
or anyone who is there...trying to win over alcohol?
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