How do I get it back??
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by simplyfab 
And what scares me is that I don't know how to get back to that place. I don't know how to mentally get there again. Why is it so hard, when it had been so easy once that choice to no longer drink came to me. It literally felt like a lightswitch had gone off in me and drinking was no longer wanted or needed. I was DONE with alcohol!
You are not the first to learn that calendar days spent not-drinking does not treat alcohol-ISM. The ISM grows even when the alcohol is absent. The simplest and fastest way to get back on track is to get yourself a sponsor and follow their directions detached from the outcome:
Follow the directions that make sense and the directions that don't make sense.
Follow the directions you understand and the directions you don't understand.
Follow the directions you like and the directions you dislike.
In short, learn to practice these 3 principles in all your affairs;
1 - HUMILITY
2 - HUMILITY
3 - HUMILITY
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...miliation.html
Abnormally normal
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
Thank you all for your posts and welcome backs. I know I need to stop sulking in what already is and just do what needs to be done. I'm going back to the day program and also gonna do AA meetings. Nothing changes if nothing changes right? And nobody's can or will do it for me but me.
Thank you for this Robby. I really needed to hear something like this. My mind is such in a fog right now dealing with whatever consequences I may face because of my DUI, that any words of encouragement are very much welcomed.
I know its still in me. And I know its just gonna take a little more this time to get there. And I'm coming to terms with it. Not only because I have to, but because I know its step one in getting myself back to me. The real me. And its what I want more than anything.
I've never really thought to view myself as a character in a play. I know you don't mean it literally, but it really does make it sound so simple. How one views oneself really is what its all about. I forget how I am the difference I need to see, which will then allow me to be.
Thank you for this Natalie. It reminds me of that saying I love so much that I sooo need to remember right now.
"If you have one foot in tomorrow and the other in yesterday, you're gonna pee on today."
((aasharon90)) You truly are an inspiration!! Lots of hugs to you!
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
The alcoholic mind is a terrible insufferable thing sans alcohol. It can't be ignored and it can't be reasoned with whatsoever. It simply wants you drunk. Acceptance and surrender is the key action to take right about now. Don't wait around for an epiphany. Don't argue with yourself about drinking. Alcoholics naturally want to drink, no surprise there 
No gift has slipped through your hands, okay? A terrible consequence has been handed to you with the DUI, and the alcoholic sufferings you're now feeling. Your original bottom (a choice) is still intact and workable. You made a choice so make that choice again. You're not a stranger to sufferings created from your past drinking history besides the latest being added. Your original gifts are yet with you if only you grasp them and move forward bravely.
The lightswitch is right where you left it the last time you flicked it off, okay? Its still there. Use rigorous honesty and own up to your responsibilities and be true to yourself and discover that lightswitch yet again!
Good going on having 9 days! Awesome!
No gift has slipped through your hands, okay? A terrible consequence has been handed to you with the DUI, and the alcoholic sufferings you're now feeling. Your original bottom (a choice) is still intact and workable. You made a choice so make that choice again. You're not a stranger to sufferings created from your past drinking history besides the latest being added. Your original gifts are yet with you if only you grasp them and move forward bravely.
The lightswitch is right where you left it the last time you flicked it off, okay? Its still there. Use rigorous honesty and own up to your responsibilities and be true to yourself and discover that lightswitch yet again!
Good going on having 9 days! Awesome!
I know its still in me. And I know its just gonna take a little more this time to get there. And I'm coming to terms with it. Not only because I have to, but because I know its step one in getting myself back to me. The real me. And its what I want more than anything.
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
Try viewing yourself as a character in a play with 2 different personas. One is a person struggling to quit drinking. The other made a decision to quit forever and considers him/herself to be a non drinker. They're both at a party and there is booze everywhere. The one trying to quit struggles and fights the cravings. The non-drinker doesn't consider it an issue because they don't drink. It sounds too simple but how you view yourself does make a big difference.
Originally Posted by NatalieN
Plan to stay sober today, that’s really all you have. Tomorrow only exits in our minds, like yesterday.
Best of luck to you dear,
Natalie
Best of luck to you dear,
Natalie
"If you have one foot in tomorrow and the other in yesterday, you're gonna pee on today."
((aasharon90)) You truly are an inspiration!! Lots of hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Good you're back, sorry to hear you got popped for DD.
Puzzling thing about alcoholism is we often stop and do fine for a while. Wife (if any) is happy, boss (if any) is happy, we're happy we've solved our little problem and strongly suggest that others do likewise, and figure it's off into the sunset we ride...
Then someone looks at us wrong or there's just too much traffic today or someone breaks our hearts and we're drinking without a thought. We were doing so very well too for those weeks/months/years, it's such a mystery. Clearly, the answer is just to pick up the sober thread where we left off, but it's often elusive. Our answer that worked so well for so long suddenly doesn't work nearly as well and a few more stumbles convince us it might be different somehow this time and we may even need help we didn't back in those weeks/months/years when we were doing so very well.
Drinking again doesn't mean much because alcoholism isn't much about drinking, and is primarily useful as a signal you haven't yet found a sufficient answer. Pretty much any answer will work as well as any other for a few weeks/months/years and return you to this place, plus your sensitivity to alcohol will worsen with whatever elapsed time has passed. You'll hear a lot from the people who are feeling fine and doing well for a few weeks/months/years and strongly suggest you do the same, as you suggested to others back then.
If you notice people who haven't returned to spinning in the usual circles for a long time, consider doing whatever turned that trick for them. As in all of it, because less is ultimately worthless.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
Puzzling thing about alcoholism is we often stop and do fine for a while. Wife (if any) is happy, boss (if any) is happy, we're happy we've solved our little problem and strongly suggest that others do likewise, and figure it's off into the sunset we ride...
Then someone looks at us wrong or there's just too much traffic today or someone breaks our hearts and we're drinking without a thought. We were doing so very well too for those weeks/months/years, it's such a mystery. Clearly, the answer is just to pick up the sober thread where we left off, but it's often elusive. Our answer that worked so well for so long suddenly doesn't work nearly as well and a few more stumbles convince us it might be different somehow this time and we may even need help we didn't back in those weeks/months/years when we were doing so very well.
Drinking again doesn't mean much because alcoholism isn't much about drinking, and is primarily useful as a signal you haven't yet found a sufficient answer. Pretty much any answer will work as well as any other for a few weeks/months/years and return you to this place, plus your sensitivity to alcohol will worsen with whatever elapsed time has passed. You'll hear a lot from the people who are feeling fine and doing well for a few weeks/months/years and strongly suggest you do the same, as you suggested to others back then.
If you notice people who haven't returned to spinning in the usual circles for a long time, consider doing whatever turned that trick for them. As in all of it, because less is ultimately worthless.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by langkah
Then someone looks at us wrong or there's just too much traffic today or someone breaks our hearts and we're drinking without a thought. We were doing so very well too for those weeks/months/years, it's such a mystery. Clearly, the answer is just to pick up the sober thread where we left off, but it's often elusive. Our answer that worked so well for so long suddenly doesn't work nearly as well and a few more stumbles convince us it might be different somehow this time and we may even need help we didn't back in those weeks/months/years when we were doing so very well.
Originally Posted by langkah
Drinking again doesn't mean much because alcoholism isn't much about drinking, and is primarily useful as a signal you haven't yet found a sufficient answer. Pretty much any answer will work as well as any other for a few weeks/months/years and return you to this place, plus your sensitivity to alcohol will worsen with whatever elapsed time has passed. You'll hear a lot from the people who are feeling fine and doing well for a few weeks/months/years and strongly suggest you do the same, as you suggested to others back then.
No, pretty well any answer is not the same as any other. What we believe in, what we put into action, how we live, and what we do for others make real differences in the quality of our sobriety.
Pretty well any reason can get us drunk when one builds a recovery on the basis of not caring how to have an answer which really works for the individual, that much is certainly true. Being recovered and recovering work best when the individual works with their own discovered experiences and by sharing with others who also value their own experiences in kind. Sobriety is a uniquely personal journey and thats absolutely wonderful to enjoy an understanding of and to build a life with.
Originally Posted by langkah
If you notice people who haven't returned to spinning in the usual circles for a long time, consider doing whatever turned that trick for them. As in all of it, because less is ultimately worthless.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Still not interested in arguing anything with you Robbie. Take care of what your dealing with and as you do that try your best to reign in stating your misconceptions about me and my life, as you're getting pretty far out there.
Letting you off the hook for the third time here. Pity only goes so far though, so stop now. Back on ignore until you're back in balance.
Letting you off the hook for the third time here. Pity only goes so far though, so stop now. Back on ignore until you're back in balance.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Originally Posted by Simply
I used to wonder how people got and stayed sober when they didn't have that life changing moment I had back when. How did they get and stay sober when they were fighting it so much?
I find myself wondering where I would be right now if I had worked on myself when I had that definite commitment to never want to drink again.
I guess I now have to experience how people get and stay sober without that "epiphany" moment.
I find myself wondering where I would be right now if I had worked on myself when I had that definite commitment to never want to drink again.
I guess I now have to experience how people get and stay sober without that "epiphany" moment.
My epiphany moment is under construction as I build skills that help me live a rewarding life free from the influences of drugs/alcohol. For me life is a class that is in session and I've stopped skipping school.
I say gather a bunch of recovery tools and build a rewarding life for yourself.
Because you are loved and needed.
Abnormally normal
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by langkah
Good you're back, sorry to hear you got popped for DD.
Puzzling thing about alcoholism is we often stop and do fine for a while. Wife (if any) is happy, boss (if any) is happy, we're happy we've solved our little problem and strongly suggest that others do likewise, and figure it's off into the sunset we ride...
Then someone looks at us wrong or there's just too much traffic today or someone breaks our hearts and we're drinking without a thought. We were doing so very well too for those weeks/months/years, it's such a mystery. Clearly, the answer is just to pick up the sober thread where we left off, but it's often elusive. Our answer that worked so well for so long suddenly doesn't work nearly as well and a few more stumbles convince us it might be different somehow this time and we may even need help we didn't back in those weeks/months/years when we were doing so very well.
Drinking again doesn't mean much because alcoholism isn't much about drinking, and is primarily useful as a signal you haven't yet found a sufficient answer. Pretty much any answer will work as well as any other for a few weeks/months/years and return you to this place, plus your sensitivity to alcohol will worsen with whatever elapsed time has passed. You'll hear a lot from the people who are feeling fine and doing well for a few weeks/months/years and strongly suggest you do the same, as you suggested to others back then.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
Puzzling thing about alcoholism is we often stop and do fine for a while. Wife (if any) is happy, boss (if any) is happy, we're happy we've solved our little problem and strongly suggest that others do likewise, and figure it's off into the sunset we ride...
Then someone looks at us wrong or there's just too much traffic today or someone breaks our hearts and we're drinking without a thought. We were doing so very well too for those weeks/months/years, it's such a mystery. Clearly, the answer is just to pick up the sober thread where we left off, but it's often elusive. Our answer that worked so well for so long suddenly doesn't work nearly as well and a few more stumbles convince us it might be different somehow this time and we may even need help we didn't back in those weeks/months/years when we were doing so very well.
Drinking again doesn't mean much because alcoholism isn't much about drinking, and is primarily useful as a signal you haven't yet found a sufficient answer. Pretty much any answer will work as well as any other for a few weeks/months/years and return you to this place, plus your sensitivity to alcohol will worsen with whatever elapsed time has passed. You'll hear a lot from the people who are feeling fine and doing well for a few weeks/months/years and strongly suggest you do the same, as you suggested to others back then.
Without an effective answer these last years are the best you can hope for as your future, your pattern and your rut. Even though you'd rather it not be so and you feel you don't deserve to endure that, and you're going to try very hard to stop for good this time. Living sober for the rest of your lifetime isn't effected by any of that.
You are so right langkah. I've known for a while, especially while I was sober, that drinking was merely a symptom to much deeper spiritual, mental and emotional issues. And you're right..without an effective answer, this is the best I can hope for.
I really need to get to the root of my issues while abstaining from alcohol so the decision to not pick up becomes easy, regardless of what I face. I know I'm gonna be an alcoholic for life, but if I don't recover within, I'll be just that. Instead of a recovering alcoholic, living a sober life for the rest of my life. Does it mean that once I'm healed within that I'll no longer have those cravings or urges? Not at all. I'm an alcoholic.
It's one thing to know what needs to be done, and another to not know how to because of the emotional stump I'm in. Inside, I feel like a 13-15 yr old girl.
Time for me to grow up inside and let me hurt. Embrace it so I can learn to deal with it. In my case, with professional help.
But with the right tools, outlook, attitude as well as the growth emotionally, mentally and spiritually, I'll know how feel, without it overtaking me.
As far as abstaining from alcohol, its where the program and AA will help me.
It's gonna be a long road ahead, but ultimately, I'm worth it.
And even though its said here ALL THE TIME...gonna take it one day at a time.
Originally Posted by Zencat
I'm one of those people that had a bottomless bottom. No matter how badly I hurt others and myself, I continued to use alcohol/drugs. The life changing moment came not from external events, it came from internal rearrangements in who I am and my determination to make positive changes in my life. And it was not a fight to do so, it is a challenge to rise above the sad illness of alcoholism. I must admit, I do love a good challenge.
My epiphany moment is under construction as I build skills that help me live a rewarding life free from the influences of drugs/alcohol. For me life is a class that is in session and I've stopped skipping school.
I say gather a bunch of recovery tools and build a rewarding life for yourself. Because you are loved and needed.
My epiphany moment is under construction as I build skills that help me live a rewarding life free from the influences of drugs/alcohol. For me life is a class that is in session and I've stopped skipping school.
I say gather a bunch of recovery tools and build a rewarding life for yourself.
Because you are loved and needed.Thats a great way for me to look at it.
As far as skipping class...I feel like I dropped out! But looking forward to seeing you in homeroom every morning from now on.
-Feeling much better today...Simply
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by simplyfab
I really need to get to the root of my issues while abstaining from alcohol so the decision to not pick up becomes easy, regardless of what I face. I know I'm gonna be an alcoholic for life, but if I don't recover within, I'll be just that. Instead of a recovering alcoholic, living a sober life for the rest of my life. Does it mean that once I'm healed within that I'll no longer have those cravings or urges? Not at all. I'm an alcoholic.
Being healed within does mean that the cravings and urges are finished. My alcoholism is arrested and unempowered for many years now. I have zero cravings certainly and as for urges the worst would be a few unorganised thoughts mixed in with distant feelings of loss and abandonment. Other then that I'm safely recovered for life. The AA promises are real and aplenty in my life. I'm completely protected from -- ever -- relapsing back into active alcoholism. I simply am required to keep doing what has always worked to get me to this level of recovery.
I am not struggling. What works now and has worked for decades now will not stop working because of whatever. My sobriety can only fail if I purposely choose it to fail, it cannot fail somehow on its own influenced by my past alcoholism. My alcoholism is in a coma, and as a result I am free to live a quality of sobriety as I may choose, and I have chosen an everlasting life of sobriety. All of the AA promises I do enjoy as I work the program in my daily affairs.
The struggle does not have to last indefinitely.
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