Stopped going to meetings?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chatham, Massachusets
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Stopped going to meetings?
Hello, I'm new to this board. Let me first start by saying that I have over 13 months of sobriety under my belt from alcohol and drugs (alcohol was really my DOC though). I am 23 years old. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days in the beginning (more like 120 meetings in 90 days) and continued to go daily for another couple of months. I started working more and then cut back to 5 meetings a week. 5 months into my sobriety I moved to a different state with my parents. I went to the meetings in my new area and I just wasn't into it. The last meeting I went to was when I got my 6 month chip. I am not a religious person at all, I never got a sponsor, although I did make some close friends In my original state that were closer to my age. Today I have absolutely no desire to drink, but I have begun to feel guilty that I have stopped going to meetings. I almost went on my one year anniversary, but I felt I would not be sending a good message to the new-comers. I feel that AA is very important and I can say I would not have been able to stay sober during my first 90 days without the meetings. On the other hand, I feel like going to meetings makes me constantly think about drinking, and when I don't go, I think about drinking for weeks at a time with no problem.
Am I right in feeling guilty? Let me reiterate that since I have stopped going to meetings I have remained sober, held a job, and continued to go to school with no ill effects and I have no plans on drinking ever again.
Thank you,
Corey S
Am I right in feeling guilty? Let me reiterate that since I have stopped going to meetings I have remained sober, held a job, and continued to go to school with no ill effects and I have no plans on drinking ever again.
Thank you,
Corey S
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome Corey...You haven't been to a meeting in 7 months...You didn't work the steps with a sponsor...You're not drinking...You don't plan on drinking again...Sounds like you are doing great on your own...If it works...Why fix it?
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Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
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Originally Posted by CoreyS 
Am I right in feeling guilty? Let me reiterate that since I have stopped going to meetings I have remained sober, held a job, and continued to go to school with no ill effects and I have no plans on drinking ever again.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chatham, Massachusets
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What I really want to do after I get my bachelor's degree is become a certified drug and alcohol counselor, so I guess that is my plan to help me stay sober. No body wants a stumbling drunk helping them get sober, right?
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I don't know if you are just unsure if you can continue without AA....But meetings aren't the program of recovery...It's a 12 step program...So you're not really getting much out of AA...I think what TU is getting at is Rational Recovery...It might be something to look into to give you some tools to never drink again...That is the goal...
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The reason I never worked the steps is because (and I don't want to get in a debate here) I didn't totally agree with them. But I will check out this Rational Recovery thing and see what it's all about.
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Originally Posted by CoreyS
The reason I never worked the steps is because (and I don't want to get in a debate here) I didn't totally agree with them. But I will check out this Rational Recovery thing and see what it's all about.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 325
My situation is very similar to you. I moved away from my "recovery city" at about 10 months sober. When I started going to meetings in my new city, I didn't get the same reception or really meet anyone for that matter. I've slowly cut back on meetings and it has taken a toll on me. Before I moved, I was going to multiple meetings a week, meeting for lunches and dinners, and was talking with others all the time. I really miss that aspect.
All I can say is that between moving at 10 months sober until now at 15 months sober, these last 5 months have been the most difficult for me. I've noticed how I've "taken the reigns" a lot more and gotten back into some old thinking ways. What has been popping into my head a lot lately is justifications that I'm not an alcoholic and thoughts of that nature. Basically, I'm experiencing all of the classic things that happen with complacency and not making meetings, etc. It's been so long since my last drink and bad memories are fading fast, which is good and bad at the same time. Bad memories are what kept me sober during my first 3 months of sobriety.
My advice would be to watch out for the same things that I am watching out for. Don't let your mind trick you, read up on recovery on here, and make meetings when you need to. You are a little younger living with your parents so that takes away triggers like financial responsibility a lot of times. Life can get pretty tough sometimes, especially with added responsibility, and that is when you will need to have a plan in place so that you don't pick up a drink and make life 10X harder.
All I can say is that between moving at 10 months sober until now at 15 months sober, these last 5 months have been the most difficult for me. I've noticed how I've "taken the reigns" a lot more and gotten back into some old thinking ways. What has been popping into my head a lot lately is justifications that I'm not an alcoholic and thoughts of that nature. Basically, I'm experiencing all of the classic things that happen with complacency and not making meetings, etc. It's been so long since my last drink and bad memories are fading fast, which is good and bad at the same time. Bad memories are what kept me sober during my first 3 months of sobriety.
My advice would be to watch out for the same things that I am watching out for. Don't let your mind trick you, read up on recovery on here, and make meetings when you need to. You are a little younger living with your parents so that takes away triggers like financial responsibility a lot of times. Life can get pretty tough sometimes, especially with added responsibility, and that is when you will need to have a plan in place so that you don't pick up a drink and make life 10X harder.
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I appreciate your input, Nirvana. I am very aware that I am an alcoholic, and haven't once thought I would be able to return to drinking moderately. I love all the positive things that have happened since I stopped my 20 beer a night habit. I've lost 50 pounds with only minimal exercise, I've been able to hold a job, and I'm back in school. All those things are a reminder of what I can do now that I could not do while I was an active alcoholic. I've heard horror stories from people in AA about cutting back or stopping going to meetings and thinking that it's ok to drink. I have not experienced any of those thoughts, but if I do, I know where to go. I am grateful for every day that I am sober.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
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There is a saying in our AA group...." I don't know how many meetings it takes, but I don't want to get caught a meeting short". So for me, I keep going because I don't know when someone might say something that will really help me in a future situation. I surround myself with AA wisdom, knowledge, and people that have found a way to deal with life, sober. And if I need help, it sure is nice to have a support group and can pick me up.
Because to be honest, if doing it by ourselves worked we wouldn't be here.
Because to be honest, if doing it by ourselves worked we wouldn't be here.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
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I cannot make not drinking contingent on anything. If I tie it to meetings, a "spiritual fitness", a group of people, a program, or anything really, then it is always subject to change. I do not drink alcohol. Ever. No matter the circumstances. The winds of change will blow throughout life, that's a given. My "sobriety" will not be blown about with them.
Welcome Corey
Welcome Corey
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
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It's not the meetings that get you sober, it's the 12 steps. Any alcoholic can stop drinking, even for long periods of time. The thing I found with alcoholics is no one knows where that straw that breaks the camel's back that will get me to drink again. When I'm dealing with a disease that tells me I don't have a disease, well, I must be always vigilant.
Since you say you never worked the steps, maybe you should look at the other methods besides AA since you really were not working the AA program.
Since you say you never worked the steps, maybe you should look at the other methods besides AA since you really were not working the AA program.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
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Originally Posted by Db1105
The thing I found with alcoholics is no one knows where that straw that breaks the camel's back that will get me to drink again.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
You may as well choose to believe you're fixed and fine and will never-ever again drink.
If you follow your plan to become a counselor, you'll have the opportunity to talk to a never ending stream of alcoholics who felt exactly the same and by having that in common with them it may facilitate easy communication and trust between you.
If you follow your plan to become a counselor, you'll have the opportunity to talk to a never ending stream of alcoholics who felt exactly the same and by having that in common with them it may facilitate easy communication and trust between you.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
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For me not going to meetings was the best lesson in why I need to go. I never picked up a drug or a drink, but thye common bond I had with other seekers on the same path is essential to my well-being. As far as becoming a recovery counselor-
High turnover rate
High turnover rate
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