Stopped going to meetings?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by bluoval 
I would hate for someone to not try AA because someone else told them it wasn't the only show in town. Had I not TRIED every possible way, including AA, I would be dead right now. Just sayin....
AA has worked for me too for many years now. You tried other possibilities and ended up with only AA looks like is what you're saying. Not a problem. Imagine though if someone told you to not try those other ways, and if you had tried AA first, and AA was not working for you?You eventually got to AA with your experiences. Others getting where they are going from their experiences is just as valid a journey for them too.
CoreyS has already tried AA, yeah?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 120
I respect your answer, however I personally would say to Corey "never, ever give up all the possibilities you pursue." Had Thomas Edison given up on his 1000+ failed attempts to make a successful lightbulb, we'd all be in the dark.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by bluoval
I respect your answer, however I personally would say to Corey "never, ever give up all the possibilities you pursue." Had Thomas Edison given up on his 1000+ failed attempts to make a successful lightbulb, we'd all be in the dark.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by bluoval
I respect your answer, however I personally would say to Corey "never, ever give up all the possibilities you pursue." Had Thomas Edison given up on his 1000+ failed attempts to make a successful lightbulb, we'd all be in the dark.
If he is sober and happy and committed to abstinence then I read into this that he doesn't need to pursue other methods.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 26
Corey, your story also sounds similar to mine. I started AA, but I got a sponsor, and started flying through the steps (not something I would recommend) and got through step 8 and then stalled. At about 6 months, I took a new job, in a new city (same area though) and stopped going to meetings. I started out going to night meetings, but when I took the new job, I was mainly doing lunch meetings at my old job. I justified it as I couldn't find any close to where I worked, but the truth is there were plenty around where I worked. The area of town was a bit seedy, but the other point is I could have gone to night meetings again in my hometown where I live. I justified not going to night meetings by telling myself that I needed to spend time with my wife and kids.
Well, about a year goes by after I stopped going to meetings, and looking back on it, it was the dumbest thing I could have ever done (this is my opinion for me only). I started going into my dry drunk, and I was the biggest a-hole in the earth, the only difference between now and when I was drinking was that I wasn't drinking. I thought I had figured out the whole not drinking thing, but that was just a small milestone on the road of sobriety. I still had all the character defects to deal with, and I forgot all about that.
Well, I started going back to meetings about a month ago when my wife told me she couldn't stand living with me any longer and wanted a divorce. I was devastated and terrified all in the same breath. I was terrified of losing her, but also that I may lose my sobriety as well. I knew what I needed to do, and I got my butt back to meetings.
For ME, I had to learn the hard way that I can't do this alone. Maybe others can, and it is documented that people have done it all on their own. I have a very good friend who did it, but with a higher power on his own without meetings. He has a gift that I don't have.
For me, I take the first step literally "WE admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable" That first word WE is very special to me. To me, this is not an I program. I tried the I program and it didn't work. I have to do the WE program, and I'm okay with that.
So Corey, I'm sorry for the long post, but my point is this. If you can do this on your own, all the more power to you. I couldn't, but PLEASE watch out for those little stones in life that can trip you up. We don't trip over boulders. For me it was all the character flaws, and in not working the program, they took over my life and hurt so many people. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what I did, and am going through right now. I am in a lot of pain with this divorce, and I know with time, I will be okay. But for now, I have to remember that Acceptance is the answer, and take one day at a time.
John N
10-25-09
Well, about a year goes by after I stopped going to meetings, and looking back on it, it was the dumbest thing I could have ever done (this is my opinion for me only). I started going into my dry drunk, and I was the biggest a-hole in the earth, the only difference between now and when I was drinking was that I wasn't drinking. I thought I had figured out the whole not drinking thing, but that was just a small milestone on the road of sobriety. I still had all the character defects to deal with, and I forgot all about that.
Well, I started going back to meetings about a month ago when my wife told me she couldn't stand living with me any longer and wanted a divorce. I was devastated and terrified all in the same breath. I was terrified of losing her, but also that I may lose my sobriety as well. I knew what I needed to do, and I got my butt back to meetings.
For ME, I had to learn the hard way that I can't do this alone. Maybe others can, and it is documented that people have done it all on their own. I have a very good friend who did it, but with a higher power on his own without meetings. He has a gift that I don't have.
For me, I take the first step literally "WE admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable" That first word WE is very special to me. To me, this is not an I program. I tried the I program and it didn't work. I have to do the WE program, and I'm okay with that.
So Corey, I'm sorry for the long post, but my point is this. If you can do this on your own, all the more power to you. I couldn't, but PLEASE watch out for those little stones in life that can trip you up. We don't trip over boulders. For me it was all the character flaws, and in not working the program, they took over my life and hurt so many people. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what I did, and am going through right now. I am in a lot of pain with this divorce, and I know with time, I will be okay. But for now, I have to remember that Acceptance is the answer, and take one day at a time.
John N
10-25-09
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