klbutcher

I am in a much better place than I have been previously in the past. Every relapse used to hurt me so much that it was almost a physical pain. The minute I discovered he was drinking again I used to shake with adrenalin, in an instant I would look withdrawn and ill. I couldn't possibly think of anything else other than him. Nothing I did or anything anyone said could make me feel any better. I was literally broken every time.
Then in May 2011 he went to rehab, he came home and he was clean and sober for five months. When he relapsed in December, I was right back there. The pain that time was far worse than anything I'd felt before.....Some how during all of that I changed. I am not sure how, or when exactly but I did. Of course I hope that one day he finds his way, I will never abandon hope of that happening but I do not clutch onto it with both hands anymore. What will be, will be.

I still have a life, with or without him.

Thank you all so, so much for your posts. I hope you realise just how much you help others.

BullDog777

never ever saw it written better than that. well put.