Hevyn

I'm so thankful you didn't drink. I know it's hard to stay the course.

Justfor1

Jeff, I find your response a bit harsh. I work a few days a week delivering flowers downtown. Prior to that I was unemployable. I panhandled and scammed downtown as if it was a job for years. I'm trying to grow up but the car dealership took advantage of me. I don't know what I should do about it. Maybe go to the dealership & have a serious "talk" with the manager or look into the lemon auto laws.

Sapling

I got to ask you Justfor1....You've been sober since October and you are in AA...Do you have a sponsor and are currently working the steps?

Elisabeth888

I took Jeff's response to be that of concern, trying to help you talk yourself through this.

soberlicious

The car situation sucks big, that's for sure. Not drinking will make it easier for you to practice coping and dealing with the setbacks in life, even though it's not comfortable at first. I think it's a good plan to go talk to the dealership, and also to look into the lemon laws and see if this falls under that category. It sounds like you are thinking of ways to assert yourself and deal with this situation. That sounds very grown-up to me.
Well done.

PaperDolls

Glad you didn't drink Just!!!


The last time I planned on a 1 day relapse .... it turned into a 5 day binge. Drove drunk, got kicked out of a bar, locked myself out of my house, with a visit from the police. Just sayin'.

DayTrader

You can call it whatever you want... bear in mind, you made all those decisions to drink "sober." That you think you're somehow exempt from alcoholism and will get the chance to come back after your next relapse is, I believe, flawed at best and downright arrogant at worst. I'd suggest you take a good hard look at both halves of the first step.

It's not the dealership's fault you didn't have the car checked out before spending (I assume) a fair amount of money on it. It's also nobody's fault but yours that you're not applying the steps of AA "in all your affairs" --> the car troubles and to developing some sober coping skills (they're allllllll through the book/steps) via the application of the program in real life (rather than just in your head or on a message board).

That's what the AA program is about.....a set of tools used to recover from alcoholism to go on and live happy successful lives without having to resort to drinking to get by. You know what to do.....don't believe the lie that tells you that you don't.

LosingmyMisery

Thats how my relapse mind works, "just a pint of vodka one night" and thats it.

The reality of it is that one pint turns into two, then a fifth and then a nine/20 day binge with Lord knows what may take place in between. Don't fall for it. You know the real drill.

RunnerMD2be

So its Hillary Clinton's fault you're going to drink? That's a new one. I guess we alcoholics can justify anything that we want to.

The fact that you've taken the time to post this, probably means that you at least want to get help. I hope that you find it. I had so many "I'll start tomorrow" days, but tomorrow never comes. It has to be today.

MrDavid

That's an interesting observation. What happens if you don't make it back alive? Will you regret the part about drinking again, which could cause you to plunge even deeper into alcoholic denial, and not make it back? The questions are endless, the risks and embarrassments almost certain, but the remedy, well, that's optional, and it involves not drinking. I've heard too many horror stories over the years with regards to drinking and driving and how the victims of these careless acts suffer tremendously as a result. And those victims may not include the one responsible, including ourselves. So why risk it? It doesn't take a genius to figure out where the problem lies and believe me; it doesn't involve other people’s motives, but our own. If you want to give away all that you've earned in sobriety (Thus far) than that's your decision, but don't let that grief trickle down to someone else, period. The car problems could cause you to drink again, but maybe it's blessing in disguise -especially if alcohol and driving were in the mix. Who knows? What I do suggest is a meeting instead, it will cause you a lot less grief, that's for sure. And you'll never know what miracle can transpire there. Do we??? So, please check in, and don't check out.

Fallow

Justfor1 I just wanted to say that I enjoy your posts here. I know its hard to not pick up sometimes when things get stressful. Hope you get some rest and think it all through. And I will do the same when some of those inevitable life stresses push me back to the brink.

langkah

2 cars break down. The normal guy calls AAA. The alcoholic calls the suicide hotline.

NoelleR

Hey J41 ----

You've already gotten a lot of 'hard-knocks' regarding your plan to just go and get drunk (be it one day, or however long----of course, always with the hope of living through the relapse and being able to return to recovery---egads forbid you died and never made it back. C'mon bubba, who'd some of us 'rag-on' if you weren't around any more? lolol; jes joshin' here folks). Some of the previous posts may have seemed harsh, but we are talking live 'n death here, ya know.......... (o:

So, I'm going to forego further castigation and just mention a couple of things you might find helpful. In a previous thread of yours (regarding liars in AA), laurie6781 mentioned your repeating patterns from your past times in 'recovery' (Post #23; 2/27/12; 19:13; in Thread: Dealing with Liars At Meetings; in the Alcoholism-12 Step Support Forum). You might want to go back through your previous posts (or at least hit the highlights); check out your sober time, and your relapses, and the times in between; perhaps you may see patterns too. If you do see them, then that's a start to figuring out what you may need to do to change these patterns....... (o:

NOW, the CAR......grrrrrr ('n doan we gist luv teknology.....? HAH!). You've got a good plan about visiting the dealership [but go with a clear head, and try to remain calm......whatever happens (not so easy, I know, but for the best)]. OK, so, you didn't mention how old the car is.....and is the only problem a blown head gasket? Heck, you kin do that.....with a little help from your friends. I bet if you check around you can find some sober friends who could help you.

I'd even be willing to help. I may be a 65+ y/o woman, but I have helped replace a head gasket or two in my time (now, granted this was all a while back, but I'm a lot calmer and patient now that I'm clean/sober). Heck, I even helped 'make' a head gasket one time cause the store-bought one was wrong, and the car needed to be put back together and running (right then!!). Well, lemme tell ya, that man/woman made head gasket worked jes fine, and wasn't replaced for 18+ months, when a replacement was available and there was time to take humpty-dumpty apart and put 'im back together again................

Well, I hope some of this helped a tad, and the rest....? Entertainin’ at least....? Like others have said; we never learn how to ‘deal’ with life sober, till we’re actually thrown in the deep end. ‘n guess what.....? We not only survive; we excel..........!!!!!

Go’on ‘n excel bubba,
NoelleR

zxcirce

Just remember that drinking "at" a car dealership or the government ain't going to hurt them. Just you.

hereigo

Hi Justfor1,
Only thing I could say, is that you will be okay eventually if you keep your mind set (often) on what it is that you want to get from your life. I would say, think about the next year...what do you hope to accomplish and how do you want it to be more fruitful and creative? You have to start with "now", and then move forward. For me, as I see my life passing me by, I know that I want to fulfill and pursue my creativity. That may not be your situation, but I came to realize that at my age, I had a choice to make:

-drink, hurt others and myself
OR
-choose to not drink. The resulting and cumulative good feelings of being in control are irreplaceable. But, that old desire to get high can constantly beckon you. Hey, you are not alone here. But I am talking to you. It is your choice if you choose to booze. You know the pain that comes with it.

Do you know the joy and freedom that comes with not drinking? This can be very difficult to achieve. For me, it was a decades long struggle, until I said "no more...this cannot stand." I was losing my life. Now I daily remind remind myself of the good I am experiencing in life without alcohol, and realize that it would not be so with alcohol. For me, having important goals to achieve has been very helpful. I have been toying around with these goals for years. But, I am now acting on them. Take action. The RR book set me on my way to the truth (for me). For you, it might be something different. But you must stand up for yourself. You alone are responsible for your behavior and the consequences. If I can do it...so can you. How many times have you heard that? Well, until you realize that you desire the "good life" more than the painful, using life...C'mon now. Pick yourself up, take a warm shower, and do the right things. One thing at a time. Stay in touch with others who will help you. For me, it is not "one-day-at-a-time", but rather "my one life". I actually made that decision to FINALLY give up the drink. Of course, not every day is easy to stick to this, which is why I highly recommend to any seeker "Rational Recover", written by Jack Trimpey, because it offers STRATEGIC WAYS to deal with the entire problem. This is a guidebook to not drinking, determined by personal choice and strength.

Some say it does not work, but I am living proof that it does work!

vichloe

I am proud of you for not drinking last night! I think it was good you posted here cause this forum is great about making you "think" before you drink. We sometimes have week moments and I'm glad you didn't cave!

Justfor1

I'm going to have coffee with my AA friend today. I'm tired of drinking AT people. A family member is willing to help with the expensive cost of dealing with the car repair. They cut the bus routes at the beginning of the year and I must keep this awful alcohol device active on a car in my name. I require this alcohol device in my car for 6 more months & then I must go back for yet another hearing on my license.

Fandy

I'm glad that you worked through this. You did cope like an adult and reached out, vented here which is a safe outlet.

nothing works me up into a complete froth like the car being broken, i feel people will take advantage of my lack of knowledge, i run screaming to my brother like a 2 year old.

soberlicious

Justfor1, see? you're doing it! You are coping with life without alcohol/drugs. It gets better. Hang in.

This is a buddhist perspective. It's taken from "Developing Basic Sanity" by Traleg Rinpoche. It has nothing directly to do with addiction, but I find that these teachings indeed correlate directly and they have helped me immensely. Just another angle...thought I'd throw it out there as food for thought.

The endless process leads to suffering.
I found it to be just one of many good reads out there.

NYCDoglvr

I'm sure drinking will make the problem better! You could, of course, realize you don't have to drink.