Update on my situation
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I just simply can't have more than a few drinks without getting smacked with withdrawal. So this is my alternative.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Yeah, ummm, you have a great deal to look forward to brother. It's almost moot for me to tell someone who's rationalized so much about their issue. But I have to say something...
Adding benzos? Amigo, seriously, good luck with that. I became an alcoholic - the drop dead, knocked down, lowest bottom, almost died kind - because of withdrawals from long term benzo use/abuse. Coming off a benzo addiction (which is where you're headed) is protracted, miserable, and actually the only thing in my life that had me consider suicide just to stop the sheer lunacy. I ended up drinking all day, every day just to stop the noise inside my head - noise that was created by benzos. If you think they won't grab you in the same way, well, like I said, good luck with that.
I'd add that this bottom of mine happened so bloody fast I had no chance at all of fighting it. Was just a bad dream come to life. I was nothing but the passenger in a bad accident. Before I decided the 'happy' pills were for me I was never as screwed up and tanked as after. In fact before the 'happy' pills I drank a lot like you've described your current drinking patterns. And as an added similarity to your story, I was in great shape once as well. At exactly your age I was fighting semi-pro and training 2 hours per day. Now? I have osteoporosis (I was diagnosed at 37), my entire shoulder is stainless steel, I'm a good 3 inches shorter than I was a decade ago from compression fractures in my spine, and I've no possibility of ever being in the shape I once was because of a debilitating disease, brought on by long term alcohol abuse + steroid use. Just so we're on the same page, you're 24? I'm 44. Come to think of it, it took me about 20 years to experience all that, now that I reflect. Things that make you go hmmm...
Maybe you've got this thing figured out. I hope you do. Just thought you should know you're not the only one who - at your age - was experiencing and thereby rationalizing their addiction issues exactly as you are right now.
Adding benzos? Amigo, seriously, good luck with that. I became an alcoholic - the drop dead, knocked down, lowest bottom, almost died kind - because of withdrawals from long term benzo use/abuse. Coming off a benzo addiction (which is where you're headed) is protracted, miserable, and actually the only thing in my life that had me consider suicide just to stop the sheer lunacy. I ended up drinking all day, every day just to stop the noise inside my head - noise that was created by benzos. If you think they won't grab you in the same way, well, like I said, good luck with that.
I'd add that this bottom of mine happened so bloody fast I had no chance at all of fighting it. Was just a bad dream come to life. I was nothing but the passenger in a bad accident. Before I decided the 'happy' pills were for me I was never as screwed up and tanked as after. In fact before the 'happy' pills I drank a lot like you've described your current drinking patterns. And as an added similarity to your story, I was in great shape once as well. At exactly your age I was fighting semi-pro and training 2 hours per day. Now? I have osteoporosis (I was diagnosed at 37), my entire shoulder is stainless steel, I'm a good 3 inches shorter than I was a decade ago from compression fractures in my spine, and I've no possibility of ever being in the shape I once was because of a debilitating disease, brought on by long term alcohol abuse + steroid use. Just so we're on the same page, you're 24? I'm 44. Come to think of it, it took me about 20 years to experience all that, now that I reflect. Things that make you go hmmm...
Maybe you've got this thing figured out. I hope you do. Just thought you should know you're not the only one who - at your age - was experiencing and thereby rationalizing their addiction issues exactly as you are right now.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
From page 22 in the Big Book:
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work. Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
There's also a story you might want to read from the Big Book.
"ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER"
The physician wasn’t hooked, he thought—he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ail- ments. Acceptance was his key to liberation.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_t...edintime16.pdf
* BB quotes 1st ed.
"ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER"
The physician wasn’t hooked, he thought—he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ail- ments. Acceptance was his key to liberation.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_t...edintime16.pdf
* BB quotes 1st ed.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
You are playing with fire.
Short term you might be able to pull this off. Long term you can't. How and when are you going to get off of this merry-go-round?
You are 24 now. Before you know it you will be 34, than 44, than 54. Every year you age this will get worse.
Alcoholism is progressive, mixing benzo's to the routine is nuts.
This won't end well.
Short term you might be able to pull this off. Long term you can't. How and when are you going to get off of this merry-go-round?
You are 24 now. Before you know it you will be 34, than 44, than 54. Every year you age this will get worse.
Alcoholism is progressive, mixing benzo's to the routine is nuts.
This won't end well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Siciliano 
So, with that all being said, after going through some tough withdrawals, I bullshitted anxiety to my doctor to get a prescription.
als.
als.
I sincerely hope that you are safe and doing alright.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Siciliano
As Jungian said, I don't really mind not drinking, it's just when I do (drink) it has a lot of bad effects, so the constitution is there, just not the cooperation with my body.
To try and drink anyway by suppressing the effects of that with other addictive drugs is sheer madness. You are not controlling your problem here, you are simply setting yourself up for worse ones.
What's the big deal with just not drinking? I too work in an industry where a lot of social interaction with clients is expected. Trust me, the clients don't care whether I drink or not, provided I'm not trying to stop them from drinking. Your clients will feel the same. Alcohol is not necessary to anyone's life and if you really feel that you can't live a life without it, it's a sign that you have a problem. If you are taking addictive medication to ensure that you can have an alcoholic drink, then it's a bloody great warning sign that you are in big trouble, my friend.
Listen to the other people here who have tried what you are doing. Read Binderdonedat's post.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Ahh...benzos and beer, the double "B" cure to drinking too much.
I realize I can't write anything here that I think will help you. You are benzoed, the warm, wet blanket of apathy has settled over you body and pouring some beer on top of it just feels too comfortable.
It took me about one week to be addicted to benzos, about one year for tolerance to set in to the point that doubling the dosage almost gained the same effect as when I first started, and my doctor cooperated in getting me to a dose that is unheard of to stop epileptic seizures.
Benzo withdrawal is a horror flick all in it's own. I've talked to heroin addicts who say they would rather detox from smack a dozen times instead of facing one protracted withdrawal from benzos.
I would wish you luck, but that would be like saying a round is chambered but do pull the trigger; there's a chance your brains won't be splattered over the room, the gun could jam.
I realize I can't write anything here that I think will help you. You are benzoed, the warm, wet blanket of apathy has settled over you body and pouring some beer on top of it just feels too comfortable.
It took me about one week to be addicted to benzos, about one year for tolerance to set in to the point that doubling the dosage almost gained the same effect as when I first started, and my doctor cooperated in getting me to a dose that is unheard of to stop epileptic seizures.
Benzo withdrawal is a horror flick all in it's own. I've talked to heroin addicts who say they would rather detox from smack a dozen times instead of facing one protracted withdrawal from benzos.
I would wish you luck, but that would be like saying a round is chambered but do pull the trigger; there's a chance your brains won't be splattered over the room, the gun could jam.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 25
Iam 24 and Im still finishing up my degree because I couldn't function due to alcohol, but 2 years ago when I began working in a sports medicine practice I was drinking heavily more and more juggling school and work. Being extremely hung over at work a coworker gave me a pill and said here "i take these when I have my period". They were pain killers and I felt great. I would get drunk at night pop a pill in the morning and function fine at school and work. Those pill f*cked me up so badly in the end...I ended up in the hospital popping too many. I didn't touch a benadryl after that day but continued to drink. If your having alcohol withdrawls your body is physically and mentally addicted to it I doubt its a bad reaction, you would get sick while drinking
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 10
I had a cousin who started self-medicating about three years ago and he ended up getting hooked on pills (I am not sure what kinds.) Last September he had an accidental overdose and passed away at only 25 years old. I know this is an extreme example, but my point is that this horrifying thing only took three years to defeat him and it started with self-medication. I don't know a lot about benzos, but from the other replies here, they don't sound like something to be played with without a doctors supervision.
I'm sure your clients wouldn't be the least bit put off that you're not drinking, but if you're worried about it, just order a coke and ask them to put it in a glass of ice. I've used this a couple of times when I was in a situation where I felt pressured to drink. Most of the time, no one even notices it's non-alcoholic.
I really hope, for your sake, that you talk to your doctor about it. Good luck, and keep us all posted.
I'm sure your clients wouldn't be the least bit put off that you're not drinking, but if you're worried about it, just order a coke and ask them to put it in a glass of ice. I've used this a couple of times when I was in a situation where I felt pressured to drink. Most of the time, no one even notices it's non-alcoholic.
I really hope, for your sake, that you talk to your doctor about it. Good luck, and keep us all posted.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Originally Posted by Siciliano
So, with that all being said, after going through some tough withdrawals, I bullshitted anxiety to my doctor to get a prescription. I had success managing the symptoms after getting a sample from my cousin who is a pediatrician (valium and ativan).
So, basically when I go out and drink, I wane using medication. The first wane took 8 (yes, 8) days, the second 5, the third 3, and the fourth 1. This was over the course of 5 months, so I drank 4 times, 6 drinks or more. Because of the addicting nature of those medications and risk of tolerance, I had to plan my wanes and space them out. I have significantly reduced my withdrawals and their length and severity.
I can drink a few now and I don't feel the increased heart rate anymore, so things are looking up, but because of the addicting nature and risk of tolerance of benzos, I have to be careful.
I guess its how I deal with it. I know a lot of you would say "just don't drink", but alcohol is a social part of my life, so this is how I deal, able to enjoy the positive social parts of alcohol without crippling withdrawals.
I've been doing a lot of reading lately, and a segment in the Alcoholism article on Wikipedia reminded me of this post.
Alcoholism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Benzodiazepines, whilst useful in the management of acute alcohol withdrawal, if used long-term cause a worse outcome in alcoholism. Alcoholics on chronic benzodiazepines have a lower rate of achieving abstinence from alcohol than those not taking benzodiazepines. This class of drugs is commonly prescribed to alcoholics for insomnia or anxiety management.[118] Initiating prescriptions of benzodiazepines or sedative-hypnotics in individuals in recovery has a high rate of relapse with one author reporting more than a quarter of people relapsed after being prescribed sedative-hypnotics. Those who are long-term users of benzodiazepines should not be withdrawn rapidly, as severe anxiety and panic may develop, which are known risk factors for relapse into alcohol abuse. Taper regimes of 6–12 months have been found to be the most successful, with reduced intensity of withdrawal.[119][120]
I wish you well on your journey.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I'm not going to judge you and I'm not going to try to talk you out of any of it. If you can control and moderate yourself......and you can live with the side effects and/or any trouble it gets you in.... good luck to you.
If you want to stop drinking, hit me up.
If you want to do some reading about benzos and all the neat things withdrawl from them can be like - google BenzoBuddies forum......lots of "interesting" stories about the real life of being on benzos and then withdrawing from them later (the typical "withdrawal" lasts about 2 years for anyone with long-term use). A friend sent me there to do some research.....several hundred thousand posts JUST on benzos and withdrawal from them. Nasty nasty buggers they are....
If you want to stop drinking, hit me up.
If you want to do some reading about benzos and all the neat things withdrawl from them can be like - google BenzoBuddies forum......lots of "interesting" stories about the real life of being on benzos and then withdrawing from them later (the typical "withdrawal" lasts about 2 years for anyone with long-term use). A friend sent me there to do some research.....several hundred thousand posts JUST on benzos and withdrawal from them. Nasty nasty buggers they are....
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I also am not going to judge you, but to be honest, your post really scared me because it is so full of rationalizations and denial, the same kind that I used to justify my own pill popping and drinking.
I'm in my late 40's now, but in my 20's I developed an addiction to opiates (Vicodin). I was a competitive horsewoman and while training for an event, I got thrown from my horse and fractured two vertebrae. Doctors were very liberal about prescribing painkillers back then, so my doc loaded me up with Vicodin prescriptions. Within a month, I was addicted. I built up a tolerance to them very quickly, so in no time at all I was having to take double the dose to get the same effect. I'd also combine them with alcohol to intensify the effect even more. Long story short ... one night my roommate at the time came home and found me on the floor. I'd taken about 8 Vicodin and a couple of glasses of wine. Ended up in the hospital on a 72 hour psychiatric/detox hold. It was hell, even worse than what I've experienced detoxing from just alcohol. I'm really lucky that I didn't end up dead combining pills with booze.
I'm smart enough now to realize that I have to be very careful with that stuff. I don't let doctors prescribe me pain meds unless I'm in absolute agony, and even then, just a short term script with no refills and I take them very sparingly. I never want to go through that again. And that was "just" opiates ... from what I've heard, benzo withdrawal is hell on earth.
Two things are red flags to me about your post:
1. You don't think you have a drinking problem, but after you drink your body goes through such severe withdrawal that you need benzos to calm it down.
and
2. You lie to your doctor in order to get your pills.
Both tell me you have a problem.
Again, I'm not trying to judge you and believe me, I do understand what you are trying to tell us. But we've been there and recognize the danger signs. I hope you will take the advice you're getting here and do some of your own research on benzos to see what it's really like to try to get off of them, and how dangerous it is to combine them with alcohol. Please take care of yourself.
I'm in my late 40's now, but in my 20's I developed an addiction to opiates (Vicodin). I was a competitive horsewoman and while training for an event, I got thrown from my horse and fractured two vertebrae. Doctors were very liberal about prescribing painkillers back then, so my doc loaded me up with Vicodin prescriptions. Within a month, I was addicted. I built up a tolerance to them very quickly, so in no time at all I was having to take double the dose to get the same effect. I'd also combine them with alcohol to intensify the effect even more. Long story short ... one night my roommate at the time came home and found me on the floor. I'd taken about 8 Vicodin and a couple of glasses of wine. Ended up in the hospital on a 72 hour psychiatric/detox hold. It was hell, even worse than what I've experienced detoxing from just alcohol. I'm really lucky that I didn't end up dead combining pills with booze.
I'm smart enough now to realize that I have to be very careful with that stuff. I don't let doctors prescribe me pain meds unless I'm in absolute agony, and even then, just a short term script with no refills and I take them very sparingly. I never want to go through that again. And that was "just" opiates ... from what I've heard, benzo withdrawal is hell on earth.
Two things are red flags to me about your post:
1. You don't think you have a drinking problem, but after you drink your body goes through such severe withdrawal that you need benzos to calm it down.
and
2. You lie to your doctor in order to get your pills.
Both tell me you have a problem.
Again, I'm not trying to judge you and believe me, I do understand what you are trying to tell us. But we've been there and recognize the danger signs. I hope you will take the advice you're getting here and do some of your own research on benzos to see what it's really like to try to get off of them, and how dangerous it is to combine them with alcohol. Please take care of yourself.
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