Update on my situation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 16
Update on my situation
So, I first posted here maybe 6 months ago.
Basically, I began feeling withdrawal symptoms as a result of my social (binge) drinking, I was completely out of control and when I would have to take breaks for school I had a couple withdrawal episodes, the first I was unsure if I was just sick, and after researching I figured out what was going on.
Many of you are familiar with the kindling effect of alcohol withdrawal, and since those first two episodes I have had a withdrawal pretty much every time I have binged. For me that is 6 or 7 drinks in a night.
Kindling, at least in my case, if horrifyingly real, as even one night out can (because of multiple withdrawals) cause me a week to 10 days of symptoms. I know I've went through DTs because at about the week mark I will start to suffer from confusion, though I've never had a seizure.
Simply put, I think the mix of genetics (my father died at 51 of alcoholism), and my binging in college really leaves my susceptible to withdrawal. I mean I have never day drank or drank all the time, I just would drink to the point of stupidity, and during summers we would drink almost every day for a baseball game, a birthday, something, we could make a reason. I'm not saying I'm making excuses, because they are, but I never became dependent on alcohol, I've never craved alcohol, and never had a problem stopping drinking.
So, with that all being said, after going through some tough withdrawals, I bullshitted anxiety to my doctor to get a prescription. I had success managing the symptoms after getting a sample from my cousin who is a pediatrician (valium and ativan).
So, basically when I go out and drink, I wane using medication. The first wane took 8 (yes, 8) days, the second 5, the third 3, and the fourth 1. This was over the course of 5 months, so I drank 4 times, 6 drinks or more. Because of the addicting nature of those medications and risk of tolerance, I had to plan my wanes and space them out. I have significantly reduced my withdrawals and their length and severity.
I can drink a few now and I don't feel the increased heart rate anymore, so things are looking up, but because of the addicting nature and risk of tolerance of benzos, I have to be careful.
I guess its how I deal with it. I know a lot of you would say "just don't drink", but alcohol is a social part of my life, so this is how I deal, able to enjoy the positive social parts of alcohol without crippling withdrawals.
Basically, I began feeling withdrawal symptoms as a result of my social (binge) drinking, I was completely out of control and when I would have to take breaks for school I had a couple withdrawal episodes, the first I was unsure if I was just sick, and after researching I figured out what was going on.
Many of you are familiar with the kindling effect of alcohol withdrawal, and since those first two episodes I have had a withdrawal pretty much every time I have binged. For me that is 6 or 7 drinks in a night.
Kindling, at least in my case, if horrifyingly real, as even one night out can (because of multiple withdrawals) cause me a week to 10 days of symptoms. I know I've went through DTs because at about the week mark I will start to suffer from confusion, though I've never had a seizure.
Simply put, I think the mix of genetics (my father died at 51 of alcoholism), and my binging in college really leaves my susceptible to withdrawal. I mean I have never day drank or drank all the time, I just would drink to the point of stupidity, and during summers we would drink almost every day for a baseball game, a birthday, something, we could make a reason. I'm not saying I'm making excuses, because they are, but I never became dependent on alcohol, I've never craved alcohol, and never had a problem stopping drinking.
So, with that all being said, after going through some tough withdrawals, I bullshitted anxiety to my doctor to get a prescription. I had success managing the symptoms after getting a sample from my cousin who is a pediatrician (valium and ativan).
So, basically when I go out and drink, I wane using medication. The first wane took 8 (yes, 8) days, the second 5, the third 3, and the fourth 1. This was over the course of 5 months, so I drank 4 times, 6 drinks or more. Because of the addicting nature of those medications and risk of tolerance, I had to plan my wanes and space them out. I have significantly reduced my withdrawals and their length and severity.
I can drink a few now and I don't feel the increased heart rate anymore, so things are looking up, but because of the addicting nature and risk of tolerance of benzos, I have to be careful.
I guess its how I deal with it. I know a lot of you would say "just don't drink", but alcohol is a social part of my life, so this is how I deal, able to enjoy the positive social parts of alcohol without crippling withdrawals.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
I'm not sure what you expect us to say to all that. This is a forum for people who need and want support to stop drinking. You not only continue to drink, you have lied in order to get drugs so you can get through hangovers/withdrawals. That's not really what this forum is about.
We're here to support you if you decide that alcohol is causing problems in your life and wish to quit drinking.
We're here to support you if you decide that alcohol is causing problems in your life and wish to quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Are these 6 pints really that impoirtant to you? You can be sociable and not drink and not have the worry of medicating.
I'm sorry, I found your post quite sad. I am currently on day 5 so am no-one to judge, but for the sake of your health would you not stop? Surely your long-term health is worth more than 6 pints every now and then.
I'm sorry, I found your post quite sad. I am currently on day 5 so am no-one to judge, but for the sake of your health would you not stop? Surely your long-term health is worth more than 6 pints every now and then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Sunny27 
Are these 6 pints really that impoirtant to you? You can be sociable and not drink and not have the worry of medicating.
I'm sorry, I found your post quite sad. I am currently on day 5 so am no-one to judge, but for the sake of your health would you not stop? Surely your long-term health is worth more than 6 pints every now and then.
I'm sorry, I found your post quite sad. I am currently on day 5 so am no-one to judge, but for the sake of your health would you not stop? Surely your long-term health is worth more than 6 pints every now and then.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
Doesn't sound like an unreasonable approach to me at all. Then again, I'm an alcoholic.
I've got the strategic mind to develop such plans, but I don't have the constitution (self-discipline) nor the power to actually pull it off.
If you do. My hat's off to you and best of luck.
If you don't. Remember, there's a solution and there are several paths to that solution. AA, RationalRecovery, AVRT, etc.. and there are a ton of folks here willing to assist you whichever path you choose.
I've got the strategic mind to develop such plans, but I don't have the constitution (self-discipline) nor the power to actually pull it off.
If you do. My hat's off to you and best of luck.
If you don't. Remember, there's a solution and there are several paths to that solution. AA, RationalRecovery, AVRT, etc.. and there are a ton of folks here willing to assist you whichever path you choose.
JEANS
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 132
When I was 24 I used to take cocain first thing in the morning after drinking so that I'd feel better, it was my only way of coping and I controlled it really well.....for about 6 months, then I got hooked on cocain and started drinking a lot more.
It may seem like a good idea now but i'm 29 now and spent time in hospital due to drugs and alcohol. Also I cant remember a couple of years of my life very well and i've done damage to my kidney. It would be a shame if you went through the same just because it seems like a good idea now.
I felt sad reading your post because it's clear there seems to be a problem with alcohol yet your making excuses to carry on doing what you're doing even though it's not good for you.
I wish you all the best for the future and really do hope what ever you choose to do turns out well for you.
It may seem like a good idea now but i'm 29 now and spent time in hospital due to drugs and alcohol. Also I cant remember a couple of years of my life very well and i've done damage to my kidney. It would be a shame if you went through the same just because it seems like a good idea now.
I felt sad reading your post because it's clear there seems to be a problem with alcohol yet your making excuses to carry on doing what you're doing even though it's not good for you.
I wish you all the best for the future and really do hope what ever you choose to do turns out well for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 16
Well, I'm not saying I didn't expect these responses, but it works for me. And has for 6+ months.
As Jungian said, I don't really mind not drinking, it's just when I do (drink) it has a lot of bad effects, so the constitution is there, just not the cooperation with my body.
I guess I was just looking for anyone in my situation and how they deal with this type of thing. Worst case scenario, it stops working and I just have to abstain, but that's something I came to peace with before I started this venture.
The addicting nature of benzos is a constant concern, but I have controlled it well and been accountable to that fact. We will see, but like I said, things are looking up. I look forward to managing this and having a healthy and happy life.
As Jungian said, I don't really mind not drinking, it's just when I do (drink) it has a lot of bad effects, so the constitution is there, just not the cooperation with my body.
I guess I was just looking for anyone in my situation and how they deal with this type of thing. Worst case scenario, it stops working and I just have to abstain, but that's something I came to peace with before I started this venture.
The addicting nature of benzos is a constant concern, but I have controlled it well and been accountable to that fact. We will see, but like I said, things are looking up. I look forward to managing this and having a healthy and happy life.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
I think you have a well thought out and developed plan. One other thing though, are you willing to run this plan - as outlined - by your physician ?
Your honesty here on an anonymous message board is one thing, but to truly test your mettle - are you willing to walk into your doctor and query him/her about the potential side effects, liver damage, or potential adverse consequences of your plan ?
I'd recommend you do that. Here, mostly you'll get "don't do it dude" or "it didn't work for me". But frothy emotional appeal, scare tactics, and other means rarely work on an alcoholic of my type. I hope for the sake of the people in your life and the people around you, you aren't like me. That you can make this work with no adverse consequences to you, but more importantly to them.
Good Luck
Your honesty here on an anonymous message board is one thing, but to truly test your mettle - are you willing to walk into your doctor and query him/her about the potential side effects, liver damage, or potential adverse consequences of your plan ?
I'd recommend you do that. Here, mostly you'll get "don't do it dude" or "it didn't work for me". But frothy emotional appeal, scare tactics, and other means rarely work on an alcoholic of my type. I hope for the sake of the people in your life and the people around you, you aren't like me. That you can make this work with no adverse consequences to you, but more importantly to them.
Good Luck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
I see a lot of rationalization here and it reminds me of when I started to believe that I had a problem but continued to think that my friends were just blowing it out of proportion. I thought that I could control my drinking and it all went down hill.
Be careful taking benzos. You could easily trade one addiction for another without even realizing it. Not only that but continuing to take benzos while consuming alcohol is dangerous. Alcohol only intensifies the effect of benzos. You may think that you are drinking less and controlling the situation by taking meds, when actually you are only building a new tolerance along with the alcohol and might not be able to remove one or both of them from the equation later on.
Be careful taking benzos. You could easily trade one addiction for another without even realizing it. Not only that but continuing to take benzos while consuming alcohol is dangerous. Alcohol only intensifies the effect of benzos. You may think that you are drinking less and controlling the situation by taking meds, when actually you are only building a new tolerance along with the alcohol and might not be able to remove one or both of them from the equation later on.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
welcome back scilliano.
I remember your posts and your story.
Still sounds like a lot of work to me for the sake of a few drinks.
Be careful with those meds too - what you're effectively doing is self medicating which really is not an addicts forte - I hear benzo withdrawal can make an other withdrawals look like a walk in the park.
I also encourage you to be honest with your Dr - if for no other reason than your well being.
D
I remember your posts and your story.
Still sounds like a lot of work to me for the sake of a few drinks.
Be careful with those meds too - what you're effectively doing is self medicating which really is not an addicts forte - I hear benzo withdrawal can make an other withdrawals look like a walk in the park.
I also encourage you to be honest with your Dr - if for no other reason than your well being.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 01-05-2012 at 06:59 PM. Reason: clarity of expression..
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Wow! 7.5 months ago I thought I had a death wish.
You are playing slow suicide faster than I did. Or asking for a heart attack. While you continue to struggle with addiction, I managed to stay stopped from all mind altering substances, learned I no longer have sleep issues, social anxiety issues and only a healthy dose of fear.
I wish you well. Are you honest with your doctor?
You are playing slow suicide faster than I did. Or asking for a heart attack. While you continue to struggle with addiction, I managed to stay stopped from all mind altering substances, learned I no longer have sleep issues, social anxiety issues and only a healthy dose of fear.
I wish you well. Are you honest with your doctor?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Siciliano
I can drink a few now and I don't feel the increased heart rate anymore, so things are looking up, but because of the addicting nature and risk of tolerance of benzos, I have to be careful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 133
I was misdiagnosed over a year ago with acute depression and put on benzos by a useless doctor to shut my complaining up. I spent 5 months in zombieland before I got a second opinion and a rare auto-immune disease was discovered. At the time I was also "in control" of my drinking. Take it from me, coming off alcohol is easier than benzos. Also, benzos severely cloud your judgement, and there's a tendency to self-medicate with them, sounds like you've already started with that.
There are good doctors and bad doctors, sounds like this guy is more concerned about his kick-back from the pharmaceutical companies than your welfare. You need healthcare, not pills.
There are good doctors and bad doctors, sounds like this guy is more concerned about his kick-back from the pharmaceutical companies than your welfare. You need healthcare, not pills.
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