luckylilshark

I've been wrestling with this. How I will reply when someone asks me why I'm not drinking. I've decided my reply will just be honest and to the point,

"Oh, I actually don't drink anymore."

Which will undoubtedly prompt an innocent, "Ah I see. Why's that?"

I don't feel the need to tell friends I'm not close to that I'm alcoholic. What's an appropriate reply to this? I was thinking something like, "Just gave it up, I don't miss the hangovers! hehe" or something. Any other ideas?

-Alice

eJoshua

Well... I find that most people don't ask the why. If anyone did ask me that I would say that it was none of their business.

If you don't feel comfortable telling people what their business is and isn't then you could try just repeating "I just don't drink any more."

Scolova

/\ I've said that "don't drink anymore." and "had to remove it from my diet."

langkah

DRAC I never drink wine.00.avi - YouTube

Works for Bela...

Dee74

very few people ever ask the why actually...unless they're big drinkers themselves.

I really felt the need to explain myself in the early days - I was almost apologetic...it was a reflection I think of how much importance I used to place on alcohol.

Not everyone places the same level on importance on whether I'm drinking or not - most people barely notice, if at all.

'For my health & well-being' is a good general (and true) reason should you ever feel the need to explain further.

D

lostbutterfly

I decided to say I was driving or on medication. But no-one ever asked! Turns out I was the only person interested in my drinking habits. I was also amazed how many people just don't drink, or just have one glass. Crazy people!!

Hanna

From an etiquette perspective, this is a really rude question!!! It could be because you don't enjoy drinking, you are on medication, are pregnant or just don't enjoy alcohol (that's a very short list of potential reasons). When people ask me questions that are none of their business, I've learned to just give them a smile along with very direct eye contact while saying nothing at all. They usually get uncomfortable and look away, as they should. When they don't I know I am dealing with a person that is uncouth. For me it then becomes a little bit of a fun game ~ how long can I continue to smile and say nothing? Never do I give them information that isn't their business but sometimes I do get to the point of saying "Really? Really?" You might say something like "Because I don't want to." But no polite person is going to ask why you aren't drinking.

Miela

I'm going 2 start saying it makes me feel very nauseous and leave it at that.

ForeverDecember

I agree, Alice. I'm proud of what I've done and who I am right now, alcoholic and all, but it's no one's business but my own. I've said elsewhere here recently - most people when they hear someone's an alcoholic don't differentiate between "Active" and "Recovering", so even though you've not drank for weeks or even years, they still treat you differently.

I used to say I was dieting... but that was a terrible excuse because I went on a huge junk-food bender when I first stopped lol! My usual now is "Would you like a beer" "No, not tonight" and people seem happy with that. And I can say that for the rest of my life

To be honest though (like others have said and like you'll soon realise) the only person who really cared that I was drinking was .. me!!!

dawnrunner

I say, "It's bad for me".

And yes, it is poor manners to ask such a question, but when I was drinking I did wonder about people who didn't. And that was because I was envious of them for their freedom, and curious how they achieved it. They were like space aliens to me: how could anybody manage that?

LaFemme

I have found it's very rare for someone to question it. However, I have friends who knew me as a heavy drinker and their surprise is genuine. I say I no longer care for the taste or way it makes me feel (both true). If there is a way to turn it into a joke I do try and do that...last time it happened I was out to dinner with 2 friends I hadn't seen in ages...I joked that I didn't drink anymore so there would be more for them.

Idid have one incident where I was at a bar (only time I've been really since getting sober) it was after a play and my friend thought it would be nice to go get a drink. It was a nice Broadway pub and we met 3 lovely gay men.: they wanted to buy us some drinks and when I said no thank you, I don't drink...one of them asked if I was an alcoholic. He was of course drunk at the time. I was very shocked at the rudeness and just answered "no" (it's not a strangers business) and changed the subject.

rooblet

I tell them it makes me lazy and I can't get anything done the next day. It is true and innocuous.

onlythetruth

I don't tell people that I don't drink, or that I've given up drinking. That's nobody's business but mine. My conversations at parties or at the bar go like this:

Them: What can I get you to drink?

Me: I'd like a diet coke.

Them: Ok.

AcceptingChange

Almost half of Americans do not drink.

A large majority of Americans either do not drink or drink
infrequently. For this majority alcohol is an unimportant
consumer product. According to the National Survey
homes), about 46 percent of adults 21 years of age and
older report that they did not consume any alcohol in the
past month and an additional 26 percent report drinking
once a week or less.3
Source: http://www.udetc.org/documents/Drinking_in_America.pdf

I started out by saying my stomach hurt, i wasn't feeling well.
After a few parties of my drinking soda, people just accepted it.

keithj

I've been sober for a number of years, Alice. I can't recall anyone ever asking me why I wasn't drinking. A simple, 'No thanks,' has served me well in these situations.

lillyknitting

Most of the seedy pubs I've frequented nobody was interested in putting their hand in their pocket to buy a drink, never mind be interested whether I drank/didn't drink/was alcoholic or whatever. I have told all my friends that I'm not drinking coz I couldn't stand the hangovers any more, Lso they knew the arguments and problems it caused with me and my hubby so they totally accept me not drinking but, they still cannot get their heads around it really. They just totally accept that they go out on a Friday nite, get blasted, then waste the whole weekend feeling rough. I have one friend who is giving it up though because she was sick and tired of the I'll effects. Good luck to her, I will be supporting her and am glad to go out with someone who wants to do more than stand in a dreadful pub and get out of it.

Jay1980

It really is a rude question. I don't think anyone has ever asked me "You don't smoke? Why?" I think four or five years ago more people would ask me why if I told them I wasn't drinking just because of the age I was at.

Tosh

I just smile and say, "I don't drink 'cos I like it waaaaaay toooooo much once I get started!" I might wink too when I say it. I've no problems telling anyone I'm an alkie, especially if I think I might have some information that may help them.

CRAZE

I just tell them......."because I got tired of going to jail."

rws177

If I don't know the person that well and don't feel comfortable revealing I am an alcoholic then I tell them I am not drinking as it hinders my perforamnce in upcoming jiujitsu tournaments. Funny thing is I am not lying, it's just not the main reason......