Are alcoholics meant to be selfish
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 39
Are alcoholics meant to be selfish
Something I never got my head around when I was drinking on how selfish I really was I didn't care who I hurt didn't care how I spoke to people, and it was normally the closest to me I hurt the most.
This may sound weird but in some strange ways alcoholics are lucky in some respect especially as this is not as disease, to me its a mental illness addiction that can be cured.
Thats what I mean by being selfish, cancer patients and all other deadly diseases they don't have a cure, but every alcoholic has a cure and their cure is only down to willpower and strength.
So the question is how selfish are alcoholics?
This may sound weird but in some strange ways alcoholics are lucky in some respect especially as this is not as disease, to me its a mental illness addiction that can be cured.
Thats what I mean by being selfish, cancer patients and all other deadly diseases they don't have a cure, but every alcoholic has a cure and their cure is only down to willpower and strength.
So the question is how selfish are alcoholics?
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I have been thinking about this all week.
I think I am fundamentally a very selfish person and that fed my alcoholism. I think some people will never be alcoholics because they are not as selfish as me.
Part of my recovery involves becoming less selfish.
I don't believe my alcoholism is a 'disease'. I think it's a character defect.
I think I am fundamentally a very selfish person and that fed my alcoholism. I think some people will never be alcoholics because they are not as selfish as me.
Part of my recovery involves becoming less selfish.
I don't believe my alcoholism is a 'disease'. I think it's a character defect.
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
I think any kind of addiction is selfish, you tend to put it first, which puts yourself and your pseudo "needs" first. I'm glad I can see outside the realm of myself now....it's really opened my eyes putting down the bottle/weed, I never thought of myself as a selfish person but I can clearly see how very self-absorbed I've been now.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,069
There sure are many ways to view alcoholism as there ways to treat it.
Addiction caused me to be a sick puppy. At the time of being active in my addiction I didn't notice that. For many one symptom of addiction is selfishness, for others its being a doormat or a combination of the two among others.
I don't see addiction in one dimension. Addiction symptoms for me included being selfish as well as many other unhealthy traits. Fortunately with treatment practices I can learn how to be healthy in life, relations and with the world around me.
Addiction caused me to be a sick puppy. At the time of being active in my addiction I didn't notice that. For many one symptom of addiction is selfishness, for others its being a doormat or a combination of the two among others.
I don't see addiction in one dimension. Addiction symptoms for me included being selfish as well as many other unhealthy traits. Fortunately with treatment practices I can learn how to be healthy in life, relations and with the world around me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Gwizz,
If I could solve my alcoholism through willpower and strength, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic. I would simply stop drinking and go on with my life. Problem is that I lost power, choice and control over my drinking. I needed a power greater than myself to solve my problem for me. That has been my experience.
Susan
If I could solve my alcoholism through willpower and strength, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic. I would simply stop drinking and go on with my life. Problem is that I lost power, choice and control over my drinking. I needed a power greater than myself to solve my problem for me. That has been my experience.
Susan
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by susanlauren 
Gwizz,
If I could solve my alcoholism through willpower and strength, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic. I would simply stop drinking and go on with my life.
If I could solve my alcoholism through willpower and strength, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic. I would simply stop drinking and go on with my life.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
As a cancer survivor....your idea that cancer can not be cured is incorrect. Yes the doctor did saycured.
As a long term AA recovered alcoholic....I've changed many things in my
years.....I keep growing spiritually under divine direction.
Both of these recoveries needed assistance before they worked to benefit my well being...
As a long term AA recovered alcoholic....I've changed many things in my
years.....I keep growing spiritually under divine direction.
Both of these recoveries needed assistance before they worked to benefit my well being...
Last edited by CarolD; 07-30-2011 at 08:34 AM.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
I agree with onlythetruth... I don't think alcoholics are selfish...take a look around...I think it's a dis-ease of the modern day!!! If I was selfish in my drinking days I was just mirroring what was around me....today I live a different life, and that is what matters, not the past, not the future..but now!!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,978
I am emotionally immature. While drinking, I was very selfish and horrible to others. I am learning to grow up, one day at a time as my habits of behaving are changing.
I believe I was mentally, physically, and spiritually ill. My mental obsession coupled with my physical addiction or allergy (I drank and could not stop and was not drunk enough, ever, till I passed out) shows me I have a disease. 25+ years showed me I could not stop drinking with all my intelligence, knowledge of psychology, or my own will power.
That's just me. I'm not unique.
I believe I was mentally, physically, and spiritually ill. My mental obsession coupled with my physical addiction or allergy (I drank and could not stop and was not drunk enough, ever, till I passed out) shows me I have a disease. 25+ years showed me I could not stop drinking with all my intelligence, knowledge of psychology, or my own will power.
That's just me. I'm not unique.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by CarolD
As a cancer survivor....your idea that cancer can not be cured is incorrect. Yes the doctor did saycured.
As a long term AA recovered alcoholic....I've changed many things in my
years.....I keep growing spiritually under divine direction.
Both of these recoveries needed assistance before they worked to benefit my well being...
As a long term AA recovered alcoholic....I've changed many things in my
years.....I keep growing spiritually under divine direction.
Both of these recoveries needed assistance before they worked to benefit my well being...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
I drunk to forget the pain the world inflicted on me. Mostly because of the cruelness of people walking all over me. I was taught I am worth nothing. I do not think that was selfish. I did not hurt anybody while drinking, I just hid away from people and stoped interacting. I think I am more selfish now, since I stopped, since I put my needs first to not pick up again and drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Gwizz
Something I never got my head around when I was drinking on how selfish I really was I didn't care who I hurt didn't care how I spoke to people, and it was normally the closest to me I hurt the most.
This may sound weird but in some strange ways alcoholics are lucky in some respect especially as this is not as disease, to me its a mental illness addiction that can be cured.
Thats what I mean by being selfish, cancer patients and all other deadly diseases they don't have a cure, but every alcoholic has a cure and their cure is only down to willpower and strength.
So the question is how selfish are alcoholics?
This may sound weird but in some strange ways alcoholics are lucky in some respect especially as this is not as disease, to me its a mental illness addiction that can be cured.
Thats what I mean by being selfish, cancer patients and all other deadly diseases they don't have a cure, but every alcoholic has a cure and their cure is only down to willpower and strength.
So the question is how selfish are alcoholics?
I think that it's dangerous for an alcoholic to think he's cured because he might think he can safely drink again. Being a recovering alcoholic is a life long commitment. You might
Recover from the mental obsession....but you are not cured. And I disagree about the will
power statement....if all it took was will power why do we have rehabs, meetings and why
are we here? Recovery needs a lot more then just will power....it needs us!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Strange question but thought provoking. What I found about sobriety that worked for me is to keep things simple and not try to complicate things or rationalize my thoughts. My alcoholic voice was (and I am sure still is) too powerful.
I don't know too many alcoholics that are cured in the sense that they can drink normally and not spiral out of control. So in the end, I don't think the original poster's question is valid.
Dave
I don't know too many alcoholics that are cured in the sense that they can drink normally and not spiral out of control. So in the end, I don't think the original poster's question is valid.
Dave
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: in this vessel
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Originally Posted by Boleo
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Are alcoholics meant to be selfish? Hi Gwizz,
Thanks...for the topic. Alcoholism, is a self-gratifying disease. A disease, we shouldn't take lightly. It takes hostages, destroys families and even pollutes our thinking. It grips every facet of our lives including the ones we hold sacred. It focuses on one thing and one thing only; our desires and no one else's. That's alcoholism, pure and simple.
Recovery, on the other hand is quite different. It implores freedom, selflessness and a "we" concept. It requires a more "care for all" attitude, not one based solely on our own needs. It would require us to go against the grain by relinquishing of our "own" selfish desires and adopt a new set of ideals, far beyond the scope of "AA". Call it, a gradual progression towards a more selfless, sober and responsible existence, which includes the tried, tested and true AA principles of unity, recovery and service. Something, recovering alcoholics know all too well.
However, understanding that concept and fully grasping that ideal is two different things. I guess that's way they say in "AA", "10% of the people do 90% of the work". How true...The only thing blocking that from happening, is our own selfish desires. I hope that eventual changes. At least, I'll pray that it does. Something, I can do for now. "AA" can continue to grow, and so can "we". I hope that continues to happen for many years to come. ODAAT, of course.
~God bless~
Thanks...for the topic. Alcoholism, is a self-gratifying disease. A disease, we shouldn't take lightly. It takes hostages, destroys families and even pollutes our thinking. It grips every facet of our lives including the ones we hold sacred. It focuses on one thing and one thing only; our desires and no one else's. That's alcoholism, pure and simple.
Recovery, on the other hand is quite different. It implores freedom, selflessness and a "we" concept. It requires a more "care for all" attitude, not one based solely on our own needs. It would require us to go against the grain by relinquishing of our "own" selfish desires and adopt a new set of ideals, far beyond the scope of "AA". Call it, a gradual progression towards a more selfless, sober and responsible existence, which includes the tried, tested and true AA principles of unity, recovery and service. Something, recovering alcoholics know all too well.
However, understanding that concept and fully grasping that ideal is two different things. I guess that's way they say in "AA", "10% of the people do 90% of the work". How true...The only thing blocking that from happening, is our own selfish desires. I hope that eventual changes. At least, I'll pray that it does. Something, I can do for now. "AA" can continue to grow, and so can "we". I hope that continues to happen for many years to come. ODAAT, of course.
~God bless~
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Until quitting at age 35 I spent the entirety of my adult life valuing drunkenness above all else. How could the result be anything but selfishness?
I believe addiction is selfish by definition. If you don't need your DOC badly enough to lie to a loved one, be selfish with your time, take risks that could negatively affect others, etc., then I wonder whether addiction is in play at all.
I believe addiction is selfish by definition. If you don't need your DOC badly enough to lie to a loved one, be selfish with your time, take risks that could negatively affect others, etc., then I wonder whether addiction is in play at all.
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