MarkNS

Every day. Mostly when I'm sober. Weird. I'm not that kind of guy. Just feel like it. I don't get it: This horrible sadness out of the blue when I'm not drinking.

Dee74

how long have you been sober Mark - the first month or so was like that for me.
If it's longer than that, do you think you may be depressed?

D

MarkNS

I'm not sober. Sorry if I've been posting in the wrong forum. I'm an alcoholic but haven't been able to deal with it yet. Sorry again if I shouldn't be posting here.

MarkNS

In all fairness, I think that the fact that I come here every so often shows that I'm at least considering that I may want to alter my lifestyle.

TwelveSteps

Well then, as I'm sure you know, alcohol is a depressant. It will make you depressed overall, even during those hours when you are not actually drinking.

GG

Terminally Unique

Mark,

TwelveSteps is right. The alcohol, if you are consuming it regularly, will make you depressed, even when you are sober. There's only one way out, and you seem to know what that is judging from your remark about considering a lifestyle change. It took a few months for me to revert back to normal, which in my case, meant somewhat depressed, but not chronically and horrifically depressed.

The standard "get your 90 days" sober recommendation is not too far off. Give it a try - you will be surprised at the changes for the better.

Dee74

There is no wrong forum Mark - people come here for help to stop drinking or stay stopped...but it's hard for me to keep track of everyone. My apologies if I embarrassed you.

like everyone has said alcohol is a depressant...I remember being weepy at the end of my drinking career too, regardless of whether I was drunk or not.

D

BurnToBuild

Nothing to be ashamed about.

Today at work i was in an intense no win situation that combined with withdrawal symptoms, almost made me break down and bawl.

SSIL75

Being an alcoholic is depressing on so many levels.

I think I cried more in early recovery though than I did when I was drinking. But don't let that put you off. It was like all the pain was pouring out of me. And out it (mostly!) stayed.

Lynzi

AMEN even though the first few make you feel invincible the last few make you into an idiot and the results are depression and misery...
Come here often and lets stay stopped together its amazing im on day 4 again but at least im here not slammed somewhere I shouldnt be

tooling

Hi. Alcohol affects your testosterone levels or hormone balance.

You cannot be an alcoholic without very ugly side effects.

Hope you decide to give it up.

Eddiebuckle

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant - and what you are experiencing is pretty common. Since you've been here awhile and riding the fence, can I suggest you pick up a book? It really helped me to understand what I was going through physically and what the future looked like if I continued drinking. It's cheap - an $8 paperback you can buy at your local bookstore...

Under the Influence by James Milam & Katherine Ketcham

Good luck. And a word of caution - alcohol is among the most dangerous substances to wean off of - please use medical assistance to detox to avoid seizures and possibly death. Seriously.

MrDavid

I fully understand where you are coming from Mark and with good reason. I too, had to deal with a lot of issues and alcohol was only fueling my agony. I had to finally come to grips with my alcoholism and how alcohol affected everyone and everything -including myself. It took many years and numerous relapses before I came clean. When I eventually did sober up, those perplexing feelings slowly but steadily improved.

Prolonged alcoholism can cause many of us to suffer, far beyond the obvious of course. My alcoholism did just that. I guess what caused my depression most of all, was my inability to stay sober for any length of time. I only had a small window of opportunity to sober up, because my disease would trip me up, time and time again. My last run was the worst. A bottom I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. That was the day my life took a turn for the worst, all because of my drinking. If it wasn't for divine intervention -that day, my life would still be in peril. Only because of God's grace am I sitting here today and for that I'm immensely grateful.

My epiphany started the day after my last relapse. My recovery did as well. So, what happened??? I was introduced into the fold of recovery services that day, which included "AA" as well. My "addiction counselor" (Tom) was my first glimpse at "real" recovery, thanks be to God. He not only became my first sponsor but gave me some much need insight on this disease and recovery as a whole. A day I haven't regretted ever since. AA has filled in the rest of the puzzle and life -as I know it, has been extremely rewarding for over 10 years now -thanks be to God and AA, in that order.

I hope you find rest for your weary soul and begin the process of recovering from this debilitating disease -one day at time. We will be here to support you every step of the way. We promise...

~God bless~

SixStringZen

You would have NEVER been able to convince me of this when I was drinking...I drank BECAUSE of my depression, don'tcha know?!

It's amazing how much of my depression/anxiety went away with the booze....

MarkNS

Thanks so much guys for the info, support, and understanding. I can't keep up drinking at this pace for much longer.

Dee74

Have you got a plan to stop, Mark?

D

ReadyAndAble

We've all been there, Mark. You came to the right place. It isn't easy to quit, but I am so grateful I did. I only wish I had done it sooner. I spent too many years thinking about quitting eventually, maybe next week, maybe next month. Years slipped by like that. I can't tell how much better life is now.

refrigerator

Ugh...early recovery is an emotional train wreck, and I'd recommend anyone who's trying to get sober to try and mentaly prepare for it. I didn't but I wish i had. It's very debilitating.

Terminally Unique

I don't think you'll find too many people who think "dang, I sure wish I had put off quitting for longer." :-)

They may certainly wish they had gotten away with it without the consequences, though...

Terminally Unique

Do you remember the first time you had to jump off a diving board into a pool?

No matter how long you delayed jumping, out of fear, the diving board never got any closer to the water, did it?

Until you jumped. It is the same with quitting drinking.

It will never be any easier to quit than right now, and the decision will be no easier tomorrow.