NYCDoglvr

I cried every day for month, was told it is part of withdrawal. It passes, it gets much better, I promise.

MarkNS

My 'plan' mostly consists of gradually reducing how much I drink. This didn't work the first time I tried it though. Well, it did ... but not for long.

MarkNS

Well said.

Thanks.

switchboard

Hi Mark. I'm in the HRM too. Hope things are going well.

MarkNS

Thanks, switchboard! Glad to meet a 'local.' Are things ok? I guess. Could be better. Not making excuses, but this is a hard city to try to get sober in!
!

Pigtails

Hi Mark. I was feeling very depressed and emotional for either seemingly no reason, or overwhelming "my life sucks" reasons that would all come piling down on me. This happened when I was not drinking but I began to realize that a common theme in my life was alcohol. For me I would have bad depressed hangovers where I would feel my life was empty and meaningless... I would even have vague suicidal thoughts, although no specific plan to carry it out, just a feeling like I had screwed up my life so much that I might as well exit... how horrible is that.

Then when I wasn't drinking or particularly hungover I would have very bad emotions come on really strongly, feeling like I was going to cry, or even crying no matter where I was at the time. I began to realize that these feelings were similar to hangover feelings except more vague, generalized, not as intensely dark but as intensely overwhelming and with more raw and uncontrollable emotion than the self-hatred and remorse I would feel when hungover. It just started to feel so similar and I put two and two together and realized that drinking was wrecking havoc with my emotional and mental state to the point where I was depressed even when sober.

I still struggle with not drinking. I'm not an expert or a successful consistently sober person yet but I know it gets better when you stop drinking. And I feel it has to keep getting better as you stay stopped. Good luck.

DaveO

I will tell you this.

I cried when I stopped near then end, but my crying was because I wanted to stop, and I was fighting with the drinking part of myself.
My drinking helped to hide, rage over problems in my life that led up to my heavy drinking.
My drinking helped to hide the problems, and to cover them up in my memory.

I cried many times after making the choice to get sober, and this stemmed from looking back at my heavy drinking, and that I was actually beating it so far in the choice to finally quit drinking.

Almost 10 Years later I will still cry. The crying now is from happiness that I am now sober, alive, and able to wake up everyday and get a chance to take a sober breath.

Crying because I have dealt with my problems sober, and I still have major obstacles thrown my way everyday.
As I still laugh when my wife jokes and repeats that quote from something we watched on TV, that it isn't all rainbows and sausages.

I could have the worst day in the world, but I still wont drink

Also if you make a decission to get sober, it doesn't matter where you are, or what city you live in, you can beat it. (No excuses)

I was surrounded by alcohol at a job I had where I had to cook with alcohol, and I still stayed sober.
I gave my mother morphine in her last days in a bed while she died from cancer, and in my still early time of recovery, and I still stayed sober.
I won't go on about all the other things that were thrown my way.
I stayd sober because I made that honest decission with myself to quit

You can do it, and everyone will be here for you

switchboard

Hi Mark. If you read back in my post history (I only have a few posts), I pretty much had to get sober last year. Either that, or die. I have a feeling I'm a few years older than you? (I'm 46.) ... I don't really have a tough time with alcohol in my life .. I don't have any go-out type of friends and I don't work around booze (thank goodness). I keep remembering Cheers (the show - not sure if you ever watched it) .. Sam, the owner / bartender was a recovering alcoholic .. He was always sipping on water or coffee. I never used to drink coffee, but I'm drink a lot of it now (besides, I hear new studies say it's good for your liver .. 4-6 cups a day).

Anyway, if you ever want to chat with a homie, feel free to message me. I don't post here much, but I lurk on a fairly regular basis.

Sober vibes to you!

(P.s.... being sober is amazing ... seriously)

Zebra1275

I can't keep up drinking at this pace for much longer.

So true. As you get older you start to wonder how many more "recoveries" you have in you.

How do you think you would feel, physically and emotionally on day #90 if you were able to quit for 90 days? I'm sure that's a pretty radical thought if you are surviving day to day, but it's possible to get there.

jdcm1965

Keep coming Mark. It works. It took me a full year and a half of going to meetings, going back out, etc...before I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and this was after 25 years of solid drinking and daily drunkenness.
I have a little under 9 years and I'll admit, life doesn't necessarily get easier, but it sure gets better. Don't quit before the miracle happens.

Btw...cry your eyes out if you want. It is the body's way of ridding the system of toxins, both physical and emotional. I cried for months at the drop of the hat. I felt great afterwards. Huge sobbing heaves of tears and belly shakes. Wow.

ADAAT--John

1undone

Yeah me too! Had to go to the Psychiatrist today and I'm hoping a new mood med will help it. Ugh! I'm so over wanting to punch someone one minute and die the next.

MarkNS

Hey,

I'm 31. That's awesome that you were able to get sober. Congrats! That's a good example with Sam. Even though I was a kid when it was on, it's one of my all-time favourites. Psychologically, just having any kind of drink in your hand probably helps for a lot of people.

As for my friends, they don't all drink and go out a lot but the majority of them do. That's not really a surprise though as I'm told that most alcoholics seem to flock together. lol. I guess I'd have to adjust my relationships and activities accordingly if I quit drinking altogether.

MarkNS

Honestly, I think I'd feel great but the thought of 90 days without a drink causes me almost a feeling of panic right now!

I may have to start with a different goal. Hell, one DAY at this point would be a cause for celebration.

DaveO

There you just set a goal.

1 day at a time, and so on