BackToSquareOne

If you look at all the different treatment methods there seems to be a common thread that runs through all of them. To build a sober and sane life requires that we tear down a lot of our old thought patterns and replace them with new ones.

We can quit drinking which is the easy part, just ask anyone on this board, many of us have done that hundreds of times. Nothing really to it.... just don't drink! The problem is that the only thing we replace the drunk version with is a sober version of our old self. What we often end up with is a restless, irritable, discontent, depressed, anxious person that just wants a drink to make it all go away.

If you really think about it we're all just like grains of sand in the whole scheme of things. The universe has it's reality and each of us has our own reality which we are the center of. We can only perceive the world around us through the lens of our current thought process, but what if all those years of drinking have left us with a totally screwed up thought process? Even worse, what if our thought process was always screwed up, how would we even know if that's all we have to work with?

If you do the deep introspection you start to see that maybe "I was wrong" about so many things. For me, admitting to myself that I was wrong about anything was never easy. Acceptance of the fact that I may have been wrong about a lot of it is really hard but if I want to rebuild a sane sober self to replace the alcoholic version what choice do I really have. The construction is ongoing and always in need of new building materials. Any thoughts or ideas...?

CarolD

My drinking had turned me into a woman i detested...I would have painted
myself green to get away from that depressed demoralized person.

Instead...I found re connecting to God and living the AA steps worked out great,,,

Please find something that enriches your future...gives you peace and joy...

Ranger

I would only second everything you said.

And thank you for saying it, of course! Wonderful post.

The more honest I become about who I am today, the better it gets. In my case, I truly am as sick as my secrets.

Mark75

Yea... I was thinking about the exact same thing, really... That part of your post about realities... The universe, our own... That shift away from our own self centered reality to, hopefully, a reality in which we are not the center... Humility, I think... Which is really a better place to be... Just let go...

NobleCause

Realizing that I'd been wrong about a lot, and that my internal judgement was not always an accurate barometer of the external world around me was/is a painfully humbling and stark conclusion. The downside of this sea change was that it effectively eroded many of my definitions of the world and left me stranded without a compass. But the good news was the world as I had defined it was a rotten and brutal place, so being wrong meant that my narrow, festering views were not absolute, that there was potential for a different, realer way to inhabit my life, and therefore the world.

When I knew it all, I was a cynic, a nihilist, and a drunken malcontent (lots of fun at dinner parties). These days, I stay present and admit to knowing far less, and am experiencing the sort of hopefulness, openness, and earnestness I used to sneer at. Changing myself is changing my world, and I've never been so happy about being wrong.

MrDavid

Yeah...I hear where your coming from. My sponsor has reminded me on many occasions that "I might be new to AA but I'm not new to the world". How true...It reminds me of the "drunken horse thief" analogy and how we're still horse thieves just without the alcohol. Removing the alcohol is one thing but changing our behaviors (like you said) is another.

That restless feeling that you talked about conjures up memories of my past and how deflated I felt. I couldn't see beyond the first step and witness firsthand the power of transformation and how that unfolds. The lives that were being transformed were unimaginable, especially from my alcoholic perspective. When my perspective changed, my life did as well. That's when I started to experience the life altering gifts of sobriety and how constructive thinking can pave the way for future successes. I viewed my life from a positive perspective not my alcoholic one. I first accepted my alcoholism, changed my perspective and outlook on life, then started to experience the blessings that only dreams are made of. The construction is always ongoing (like you said) but the building permits never have an expiration date and neither does our dreams. Do they???I think not...At least from my perspective they don't.

~God bless~

BackToSquareOne

This topic brings to mind the old saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks". That seems to be exactly what happens when you refuse to admit that you were wrong about a lot of things. Just living life seems to do that to you; you get close minded and see no need to change because you already know that you're always right.

We develop our belief systems, get set in our ways and view the world through the narrow prism of the self centered reality in which our thought process resides. Often we end up with a very myopic view of everything.

In her post above NobleCause said "Realizing that I'd been wrong about a lot, and that my internal judgement was not always an accurate barometer of the external world around me was/is a painfully humbling and stark conclusion. The downside of this sea change was that it effectively eroded many of my definitions of the world and left me stranded without a compass."

I really like the way she worded that because it sums it up so well. What seems to happen is that we do the introspection and conclude that okay, maybe I was wrong about this, this, this, this etc. etc. So we decide that we need to change a few, well maybe many parts of our perception of reality but we still have all those bits and pieces of our former thought process kicking around in our brain.

We seem to enter a strange, new world where we feel naked because the new way of looking at things is foreign to us. We shatter parts of our ego when we become open minded because we have to let all that new stuff in. We experience a lot of resistance as we become open to new ideas.

It's an odd feeling because it's scary at first but it also has a sense of peace to it. Admitting we were wrong brings with it a humilty that some of us have never known. It's an ongoing process and letting go of the old stuff is the key that unlocks the door and yes you really can teach an old dog new tricks!!

Boleo

Ohooooo Noooooo! Not another post about existentialism... LOL!