What is a relapse?
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
IMO one beer would be more like a slip. My relapse's were always 2 or more days of out of control drinking. But then again, many of them started out with the idea that I would have only one.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
I guess the reason that I'm asking is say, you have like 6 months in recovery, then you "slip" up and have two beers, decide that it was a mistake, or whatever and go on with the program and your committment. However, the counter restarts at day 1! That's dreadful.
I can see myself possibly slipping up and then thinking that since the counter is already at day 1, why not just continue drinking for the day, the next, the next etc.
I can see myself possibly slipping up and then thinking that since the counter is already at day 1, why not just continue drinking for the day, the next, the next etc.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
I picked up a white chip once after having had a tablespoon of vanilla extract. It wasn't the amount of alcohol that meant relapse for me, it was the fact that I was motivated to drink it by alcoholic thinking. That's just me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
A relapse is a return to old behaviour, it is not taking a drink...the taking of a drink is the full stop to the sentence, which is why we must be vigilant of our behaviour...that is assuming that enough change has taken place in the individual to be a significant distance from the old behaviour, i.e. stopping drinking with no change of behaviour and then taking a drink is simply drinking again...
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Originally Posted by 4MyMel 
I can see myself possibly slipping up and then thinking that since the counter is already at day 1, why not just continue drinking for the day, the next, the next etc.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
I guess the reason that I'm asking is say, you have like 6 months in recovery, then you "slip" up and have two beers, decide that it was a mistake, or whatever and go on with the program and your committment. However, the counter restarts at day 1! That's dreadful.
Spiritual Principles don't need to make sense to get results.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I can see myself possibly slipping up and then thinking that since the counter is already at day 1, why not just continue drinking for the day, the next, the next etc.
My feeling is that even though (technically) a single drink would put us back at day 1, we'd be further ahead at that point because of the sober days we'd already had.
So really, someone who had a couple beers but had spent the year sober is leaps and bounds ahead of someone on day 1 who had been drinking for a year. The numbers only have whatever meaning you give them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
In my opinion having a beer would be a slip and a relapse would be returning to old behaviour. Unfortunetly, I think many people (myself included) who 'slip' might think "I can handle just 1 anytime" and then it turns into a full blown relapse.
Abnormally normal
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
I can see myself possibly slipping up and then thinking that since the counter is already at day 1, why not just continue drinking for the day, the next, the next etc.
For some, a slip is the same thing as a relapse because of this way of thinking.
I think it depends on how serious you are about sobriety. Many people have "slips" and know that they made a mistake and make the choice to stop before they get to the point of no return.
Others have a slip and recongnize the mistake, but figure the sobriety numbers or sobriety itself, have already been jeopordized, so they might as well drink til stupid.
I agree w/ what artsoul says.
Nobody can take away the time you have had sober and how strong you were during that time.
There's nothing wrong w/ saying I have six months sober w/ a day of bad judgement, and going from there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
I like the responses, thank you. Its hard for me because I'm a black and white thinker. One drink = failure. This makes me worry, because I can't guarantee that a slip up will never happen, but this way of thinking will definitely doom me.
I just feel this way because at the AA meetings there is so much emphasis on numbers! 30 days, 60 days, multipile years etc. I am on day 8, but at the AA meetings I don't raise my hand when they ask if someone is under 30 days. I just feel that will set me up to fail with all these numbers in my head. This comes from a long history of eating disorders and dieting...everything is in the numbers!
I just feel this way because at the AA meetings there is so much emphasis on numbers! 30 days, 60 days, multipile years etc. I am on day 8, but at the AA meetings I don't raise my hand when they ask if someone is under 30 days. I just feel that will set me up to fail with all these numbers in my head. This comes from a long history of eating disorders and dieting...everything is in the numbers!
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I am VERY black and white. I don't keep track of my 'numbers', but I do remember the last time I drank, and never want to lose that memory.. and that was on 9/1/08. I think that memory is more helpful to me than however many days it's been since then. And you CAN guarantee that you wont drink again, seeing as how it's entirely up to you, and within your control as long as you're working on your recovery and staying engaged in your progress/health.
Course, I can see how having a beer "here and there" and not considering it what it IS, (drinking), is dangerous thinking.. that can turn into.. we'll I'm sober "most of the time", or "23 days last month" etc..all the while fueling the progession of alcoholism, which is fatal if left untreated. I will never flirt that closely with any of my addictions. My sober time counts, but my sober time moving forward counts more.
Course, I can see how having a beer "here and there" and not considering it what it IS, (drinking), is dangerous thinking.. that can turn into.. we'll I'm sober "most of the time", or "23 days last month" etc..all the while fueling the progession of alcoholism, which is fatal if left untreated. I will never flirt that closely with any of my addictions. My sober time counts, but my sober time moving forward counts more.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
A relapse to me would be falling away from the spiritual life i am practicing today. If i do that, one beer would be the same to me as 12 beers. If i got to a place that i was no longer recovered and drank a beer, i would no longer be sober or spiritually fit. Therefore, for me, it would be a relapse.
i would have to start over. From the beginning.
i would have to start over. From the beginning.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Progress, not perfection.
If resetting your date of sobriety would make you drink, then quit counting, as bella suggested... You are eligible for a white chip, whether or not you accept it is... completely up to you.
As, I think, yeahgr8 is getting at.... there is drinking, there is alcoholism, there is abstinence and there is recovery.
Where are you at?
If resetting your date of sobriety would make you drink, then quit counting, as bella suggested... You are eligible for a white chip, whether or not you accept it is... completely up to you.
As, I think, yeahgr8 is getting at.... there is drinking, there is alcoholism, there is abstinence and there is recovery.
Where are you at?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
Its hard for me because I'm a black and white thinker. One drink = failure. This makes me worry, because I can't guarantee that a slip up will never happen, but this way of thinking will definitely doom me.
I thought were only operated in extremes with our drinking...
I just feel this way because at the AA meetings there is so much emphasis on numbers! 30 days, 60 days, multipile years etc. I am on day 8, but at the AA meetings I don't raise my hand when they ask if someone is under 30 days. I just feel that will set me up to fail with all these numbers in my head. This comes from a long history of eating disorders and dieting...everything is in the numbers!
I am not going to comment on whether or not you should reset your sobriety. You can always resolve this issue later. There is no need to drive yourself crazy over it. Just focus on today and finish the day sober.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I', too am a black and white alcoholic.....so....
if I ate or drank alcohol again..I would change my DOS
Being honest with myself and others is vital to my recovery.
if I ate or drank alcohol again..I would change my DOS
Being honest with myself and others is vital to my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
A relapse is when any alcoholic talks themselves into thinking they all of the sudden ..out of the blue..have control over their drinking. It is temporary insanity. Temporary if they are lucky..some never make it back.
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