What is a relapse?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Omaha
Posts: 75
Slip, relapse, falling off the wagon, "out there", etc, just words and terms. You know you're not sober. What more...Example, if I'm sober from xanax and then I find a pill in an old coat pocket, take it, I'm not sober, and instead of 5 months sobriety, I've got one day.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Day 1 or day 100001. What is the difference? If you decide to live your life without alcohol, then live your life without alcohol. I know that if I decide to have just one beer today, I will be drinking myself under the table 4 or 5 weeks from now. Celebrate each day without alcohol.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
The idea behind sobriety is abstinence from alcohol. One beer is not abstinence and does not support the purpose behind sobriety. Seems like there are many different "opinions" on what constitutes a slip, relapse, returning to old behaviors...isn't it really all the same? That is how I see it anyway. If I were to have one sip, I would consider it a relapse and would have to examine my behavior and how I got to the point of considering drinking again. I can never drink alcohol again. To me, it is that simple.
If I were to take a drink, I would soon be off and running. My last drink turned into a 9 day drinking binge. It scared the he*ll out of me. It all starts with one drink. I'm not willing to head down that slippery slop. Please be careful...
If I were to take a drink, I would soon be off and running. My last drink turned into a 9 day drinking binge. It scared the he*ll out of me. It all starts with one drink. I'm not willing to head down that slippery slop. Please be careful...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
I'm trying to be careful by being proactive. My brain keeps telling me that I can have just one beer and then go back to my new routine. I know this isn't true. One beer will turn into a week of drinking. But, I know that counting days isn't good for me either. When I walk into the meeting, I see all the names of people and their sobriety date next to it...makes me cringe.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
What is relapse?
How does one really know when we lie to ourselves (and others) so much when actively drinking?
When. When was it that I truly stopped trying to control my drinking and honestly had a desire to quit drinking?
I'll never know. All I know is when I had my last drink and how I feel now.
Kjell~
How does one really know when we lie to ourselves (and others) so much when actively drinking?
When. When was it that I truly stopped trying to control my drinking and honestly had a desire to quit drinking?
I'll never know. All I know is when I had my last drink and how I feel now.
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
4MyMel,
I have an idea for you, if you are interested that is. Why don't you give your sober date to your sponsor or good AA friend and then just forget about it? Let someone else worry about the date so that you can focus on living in today and taking the actions necessary (i.e., working the twelve steps) to achieve solid sobriety.
Susan
I have an idea for you, if you are interested that is. Why don't you give your sober date to your sponsor or good AA friend and then just forget about it? Let someone else worry about the date so that you can focus on living in today and taking the actions necessary (i.e., working the twelve steps) to achieve solid sobriety.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Originally Posted by 4MyMel 
I'm trying to be careful by being proactive. My brain keeps telling me that I can have just one beer and then go back to my new routine. I know this isn't true. One beer will turn into a week of drinking. But, I know that counting days isn't good for me either. When I walk into the meeting, I see all the names of people and their sobriety date next to it...makes me cringe.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
When I walk into the meeting, I see all the names of people and their sobriety date next to it...makes me cringe.
Anonymity is a spiritual principle .... and IMHO a list of names of those who attend the meeting next to their date of sobriety is a violation of that principle... perhaps there are reasons why a group might want to do such a thing... but the risks of ego inflation, and status within the group, would just be too great, IMHO... And just look how it has affected you!!
Bleh....
Find another meeting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
So not all meetings do this? The names, first name and last initial, are listed on a white board and a sobriety date next to it. At the meeting I went to today, they had a month end celebration for all people who had sobriety dates in May...they announced the number of years and gave them a coin. ......
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
On a white board?... So what they doin' keepin' score... LOL... or maybe, oh well... hell, I've got no comment... Hmm, an AA leader board... LOL... Never saw that...
Celebrating sobriety milestones, well, that's OK by me... we do that to give others hope...
Celebrating sobriety milestones, well, that's OK by me... we do that to give others hope...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re: Relapse
Originally Posted by smacked
Having a beer would be drinking alcohol again. I quit drinking alcohol. So yeah, there's some incongruency there.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 178
Originally Posted by smacked
I am VERY black and white. I don't keep track of my 'numbers', but I do remember the last time I drank, and never want to lose that memory.. and that was on 9/1/08. I think that memory is more helpful to me than however many days it's been since then. And you CAN guarantee that you wont drink again, seeing as how it's entirely up to you, and within your control as long as you're working on your recovery and staying engaged in your progress/health.
Course, I can see how having a beer "here and there" and not considering it what it IS, (drinking), is dangerous thinking.. that can turn into.. we'll I'm sober "most of the time", or "23 days last month" etc..all the while fueling the progession of alcoholism, which is fatal if left untreated. I will never flirt that closely with any of my addictions. My sober time counts, but my sober time moving forward counts more.
Course, I can see how having a beer "here and there" and not considering it what it IS, (drinking), is dangerous thinking.. that can turn into.. we'll I'm sober "most of the time", or "23 days last month" etc..all the while fueling the progession of alcoholism, which is fatal if left untreated. I will never flirt that closely with any of my addictions. My sober time counts, but my sober time moving forward counts more.
I still get a sense that those recovering are harsh on themselves.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
I like the responses, thank you. Its hard for me because I'm a black and white thinker. One drink = failure. This makes me worry, because I can't guarantee that a slip up will never happen, but this way of thinking will definitely doom me.
I just feel this way because at the AA meetings there is so much emphasis on numbers! 30 days, 60 days, multipile years etc. I am on day 8, but at the AA meetings I don't raise my hand when they ask if someone is under 30 days. I just feel that will set me up to fail with all these numbers in my head. This comes from a long history of eating disorders and dieting...everything is in the numbers!
I just feel this way because at the AA meetings there is so much emphasis on numbers! 30 days, 60 days, multipile years etc. I am on day 8, but at the AA meetings I don't raise my hand when they ask if someone is under 30 days. I just feel that will set me up to fail with all these numbers in my head. This comes from a long history of eating disorders and dieting...everything is in the numbers!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by winegirl
I'm ALL OVER everything you just wrote. There seems to be NO IN BETWEEN and the numbers!!! im sober from about some time in april. big freakin deal. i dont do steps, i dont do day counting, i dont do 'relapse' so far but im sadly mistaken if i am thinking that i will never drink again. and i wont kill myself over it, nor anybody else. this is my personal PRIVATE struggle. i dont feel that there is a this or that. i have a drinking problem. i dont drink right now. dont make me make false promises to myself or anybody else. (especially not strangers in a hot room who smell mostly...)
Stick 30 strangers in a room and it's going to stink a little ;p ever been to a bar lol!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 26
knock it off
thanks, 'oohhh nooo' for your post. I guess i'm really struggling now. i dont want to be bothered with meetings. I just want to struggle on my own and i have physical issues to deal with. All I can manage is that today and yesterday and tomorrow, I wont drink. BUT WHY? the reason is that im not well or healthy. i never drank that much to begin with! dont drink? oh ok and dont eat xy&z? ok and dont smoke? ok i'll work on it...
and guess what...EVERYBODY RELAPSES AT SOME POINT. And dont tell me about the steps and about Jesus (other programs). I really need to focus on the REASON I'm drinking too much and to get healthy. It just got out of control, like many others say. You kind of ignore it and then one day realize ...'gee I'm not myself anymore. \
That, alone is enough to make me not want to drink.
For now.
I like this forum, usually but its kind of depressing, to be honest. everyone makes it seem like this 'losing battle' and that you have to 'commit'.
I'm lucky i committed to marriage and being a mother. Leave me alone. So, I wont drink. happy??
and guess what...EVERYBODY RELAPSES AT SOME POINT. And dont tell me about the steps and about Jesus (other programs). I really need to focus on the REASON I'm drinking too much and to get healthy. It just got out of control, like many others say. You kind of ignore it and then one day realize ...'gee I'm not myself anymore. \
That, alone is enough to make me not want to drink.
For now.
I like this forum, usually but its kind of depressing, to be honest. everyone makes it seem like this 'losing battle' and that you have to 'commit'.
I'm lucky i committed to marriage and being a mother. Leave me alone. So, I wont drink. happy??
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 393
I am 28 days sober today and have been drinking for 15 years. I've read about all of the chemistry in my brain that I've altered. Don't really understand the GABA and receptor crap, but I know I did the damage. So, after reading here the past month and asking questions, I figure it can be 6 weeks to 6 months until I'm fully clear headed and get my gaba back lol. I feel if I had one drink, it would set my chemistry back to day 1 or so. After 28 days I notice the positive difference and wouldn't jeopardize it.
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