12 days sober today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
Entering day 17.
Today was an easier day, It was also weigh day and i had lost the grand sum of 1lb lol. It seems my body isnt ready to give up the weight yet dispute my best efforts.
I read alot about PAWS today and its quite worrying how long that can have a hold on you. I suppose after 25 years of daily hard drinking you have to expect your body and even mind to rebel quite severely to being told its the end of the line. Its like going through a messy divorce , you take the house im keeping my mind lol
Tomorrow will be all about keeping busy I have nothing planned and although there are three projects I can think off right now I could get started on I really don't have the drive or motorvation for any of them. During my darkest depressions i'd find that I woule shy away from things I enjoyed. almost punishing yourself twice. Its quite bizarre.
I will make a concerted effort when I wake up to attempt at least a start on one of the projects I have in mind and see how I go from there. It really is amazing how much time is freed up by not drinking its filling it constructively thats now the challenge.
Today was an easier day, It was also weigh day and i had lost the grand sum of 1lb lol. It seems my body isnt ready to give up the weight yet dispute my best efforts.
I read alot about PAWS today and its quite worrying how long that can have a hold on you. I suppose after 25 years of daily hard drinking you have to expect your body and even mind to rebel quite severely to being told its the end of the line. Its like going through a messy divorce , you take the house im keeping my mind lol
Tomorrow will be all about keeping busy I have nothing planned and although there are three projects I can think off right now I could get started on I really don't have the drive or motorvation for any of them. During my darkest depressions i'd find that I woule shy away from things I enjoyed. almost punishing yourself twice. Its quite bizarre.
I will make a concerted effort when I wake up to attempt at least a start on one of the projects I have in mind and see how I go from there. It really is amazing how much time is freed up by not drinking its filling it constructively thats now the challenge.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 76
Congratulations! Good Job Opeth! Its reassuring for me to see another long term drinker in recovery. I'm like you with almost 30 years of drinking just about every day and also relatively new in recovery with 63 days down......I just keep carving out one day at a time.
We can do this!!
We can do this!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
Entering Day 18
Another weekend completed sober, tommorow is another bank holiday which normally would mean an all day session sat outside a pub but this one I intend to see out at home with my head in an Objective-C programming book.
Conservative estimate is ive saved around $255 so far, well thats what was in my tin, realistically i bet it would have been more than that however I blew the lot today on a new netbook from Ebay. Amazing what you can do with the money that otherwise would have been pissed away.
Another weekend completed sober, tommorow is another bank holiday which normally would mean an all day session sat outside a pub but this one I intend to see out at home with my head in an Objective-C programming book.
Conservative estimate is ive saved around $255 so far, well thats what was in my tin, realistically i bet it would have been more than that however I blew the lot today on a new netbook from Ebay. Amazing what you can do with the money that otherwise would have been pissed away.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
Entering day 19.
Yesterday was rough, the cravings came back with a vengeance. I reckon it may be some kind of lack of sugar going on with the new diet. I had a takeaway curry to take my mind of it. did the trick.
Heres hoping today is easier.
Yesterday was rough, the cravings came back with a vengeance. I reckon it may be some kind of lack of sugar going on with the new diet. I had a takeaway curry to take my mind of it. did the trick.
Heres hoping today is easier.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
Entering day 20
Today has been the worst day so far, the physical cravings have got to the point where I can't think straight and I spent the whole day in bed completely drained off all energy. I got up long enough to make a salad and then crawled back into bed. I can't focus on anything, certainly cant face seeing anyone and just want to hide. Psychologically i feel ok its just this energy sapping/brain fog that is ruining me.
I need to start working again as the money is drying up but I can't even get out of bed at the minute its a grim time.
Still day completed. Lets see what tommorow brings.
Today has been the worst day so far, the physical cravings have got to the point where I can't think straight and I spent the whole day in bed completely drained off all energy. I got up long enough to make a salad and then crawled back into bed. I can't focus on anything, certainly cant face seeing anyone and just want to hide. Psychologically i feel ok its just this energy sapping/brain fog that is ruining me.
I need to start working again as the money is drying up but I can't even get out of bed at the minute its a grim time.
Still day completed. Lets see what tommorow brings.
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Opeth 
Entering day 16.
Today was a battle inside my mind, my inner voice was telling me i could probably handle a glass of wine with my evening meal, It was telling me this all day as I was at an ice show and there was long gaps between competitors that were quite boring so lots of time to think and inwardly reflect.
I resisted the urge that was purely mental and not a physical craving at all. I have established that alot of my drinking at home was due to two factors 1) Boredom and 2) a misguided notion that it made me more creative. I make electronic music at home and rarely did that without a can of Lager to hand, Ive found i've completely stopped making music as doing it without the usual drink just seems wierd.
Its these little habits that need to be broken. I listened to another day of the Alcoholic recovery hypnosis CD program thing, and again I dont recall alot of it as it sent me to sleep. Its grest for that if nothing else.
So its onwards into the weekend, I will stay strong tomorrow, get out in the fresh air and stay active and chalk up another day of sober recovery
Today was a battle inside my mind, my inner voice was telling me i could probably handle a glass of wine with my evening meal, It was telling me this all day as I was at an ice show and there was long gaps between competitors that were quite boring so lots of time to think and inwardly reflect.
I resisted the urge that was purely mental and not a physical craving at all. I have established that alot of my drinking at home was due to two factors 1) Boredom and 2) a misguided notion that it made me more creative. I make electronic music at home and rarely did that without a can of Lager to hand, Ive found i've completely stopped making music as doing it without the usual drink just seems wierd.
Its these little habits that need to be broken. I listened to another day of the Alcoholic recovery hypnosis CD program thing, and again I dont recall alot of it as it sent me to sleep. Its grest for that if nothing else.
So its onwards into the weekend, I will stay strong tomorrow, get out in the fresh air and stay active and chalk up another day of sober recovery
First congrats , and yes Boredom was a huge trigger for me that and feeling like I had no real adult connection around as I was usually with my children and my GF often felt like I was talking to a deprived teenager who was angry at the world or me for not getting her way.
I also have problems doing things I used to enjoy because those things were often associated with drinking. I've managed to get back into some video gaming on the PS3 but last night I had a very strong urge to have a beer while playing a game because that's what I did all the time. I would sit down and play a game while drinking until I got too drunk to focus and hand-eye coordination got screwed up.
I'm on day 15 today and don't want a drink , but having an emotionally down day/week. Trying to stay strong as the day goes on.
I've worn the Serenity prayer out since Sunday.
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Opeth
Entering day 20
Today has been the worst day so far, the physical cravings have got to the point where I can't think straight and I spent the whole day in bed completely drained off all energy. I got up long enough to make a salad and then crawled back into bed. I can't focus on anything, certainly cant face seeing anyone and just want to hide. Psychologically i feel ok its just this energy sapping/brain fog that is ruining me.
I need to start working again as the money is drying up but I can't even get out of bed at the minute its a grim time.
Still day completed. Lets see what tommorow brings.
Today has been the worst day so far, the physical cravings have got to the point where I can't think straight and I spent the whole day in bed completely drained off all energy. I got up long enough to make a salad and then crawled back into bed. I can't focus on anything, certainly cant face seeing anyone and just want to hide. Psychologically i feel ok its just this energy sapping/brain fog that is ruining me.
I need to start working again as the money is drying up but I can't even get out of bed at the minute its a grim time.
Still day completed. Lets see what tommorow brings.
Do you have any face to face support ? Like AA meetings or something like that ? It helps sometimes in the open discussion to hear other peoples struggles to take your mind off your own.....
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
Something else that has really helped me is getting back into working out and exercise.
Shifting my focus to rebuilding my body and try to get a little closer to where it was 8-9 years ago. This takes up some physical time as well as mental time as I study up on techniques and idea's and nutrition and supplements.
In this way , It also gives me one more reason to not want to drink as drinking was the biggest reason I never felt like working out the past few years. Right now I lift weights in my house 2-3 times a week and on the days I go to Night meetings ( instead of lunch time meetings ) I walk about two miles on my lunch break.
Lunch time was a big trigger for me as I had an hour to kill and only needed ten minutes to eat. So often the time would be spent with a pint and a book in a parking lot near the food joints then gorging on food at my desk at the end of the hour.
Shifting my focus to rebuilding my body and try to get a little closer to where it was 8-9 years ago. This takes up some physical time as well as mental time as I study up on techniques and idea's and nutrition and supplements.
In this way , It also gives me one more reason to not want to drink as drinking was the biggest reason I never felt like working out the past few years. Right now I lift weights in my house 2-3 times a week and on the days I go to Night meetings ( instead of lunch time meetings ) I walk about two miles on my lunch break.
Lunch time was a big trigger for me as I had an hour to kill and only needed ten minutes to eat. So often the time would be spent with a pint and a book in a parking lot near the food joints then gorging on food at my desk at the end of the hour.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by Enoy
I also have problems doing things I used to enjoy because those things were often associated with drinking. I've managed to get back into some video gaming on the PS3 but last night I had a very strong urge to have a beer while playing a game because that's what I did all the time. I would sit down and play a game while drinking until I got too drunk to focus and hand-eye coordination got screwed up.
Congrats on day 20 Opeth!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
Enoy i can relate to that perfectly.
Normally it would be Couple of games on the Xbox playing Fifa = Drink
Sit in the garden in the sun = Drink
Write a music track = Drink shitloads
Write a computer program = Drink
Watch a movie = Drink
I can barely think of much other than work that i did when i wasn't drinking and i was drinking at work half the time anyway. I made Mad Men look like a womans institute.
Anyhow today has had its craving moments but ive rode them out, Ive been making a Hackintosh netbook and normally anything like that would involve beer or a couple of Bourbons. Im more and more thinking its a blood sugar thing as to why i feel like death. (In fact thats an insult to death who probably hates the comparison)
Still its onwards. Not quite into Day 21 yet but its another day of success.
Normally it would be Couple of games on the Xbox playing Fifa = Drink
Sit in the garden in the sun = Drink
Write a music track = Drink shitloads
Write a computer program = Drink
Watch a movie = Drink
I can barely think of much other than work that i did when i wasn't drinking and i was drinking at work half the time anyway. I made Mad Men look like a womans institute.
Anyhow today has had its craving moments but ive rode them out, Ive been making a Hackintosh netbook and normally anything like that would involve beer or a couple of Bourbons. Im more and more thinking its a blood sugar thing as to why i feel like death. (In fact thats an insult to death who probably hates the comparison)
Still its onwards. Not quite into Day 21 yet but its another day of success.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think you're doing great, Opeth - I spent the first month at least trying to cope with the urges and just getting through the day sober. It took several months for my energy to come back. So keep hanging in there...... I still have days when I feel like doing nothing and sometimes that's just what I do!
Oh, I also wanted to say that I drank when I did my art (which is what I do for a living) and it took some getting used to doing it sober. Take it in baby steps if it causes anxiety........ after a while, I found that I actually got MUCH more inspiration than I ever did while drinking.....and my work shows it. Hope that helps!
Oh, I also wanted to say that I drank when I did my art (which is what I do for a living) and it took some getting used to doing it sober. Take it in baby steps if it causes anxiety........ after a while, I found that I actually got MUCH more inspiration than I ever did while drinking.....and my work shows it. Hope that helps!
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