Husband got into my God box and read everything
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
bananagrrl,
I don't know if this would be useful for YOU but I used to write my journal in stenoscript, a form of shorthand, so that no one could read my thoughts but me. That way, I was able to get things down and out and not worry about who might try to read these most private thoughts.
I don't know what I might do if my husband disrespected my privacy in that manner. I know I would feel very violated. And as others have said, it takes some nerve to try to make someone else feel shame while doing something shameful themselves.
Love,
Lenina
I don't know if this would be useful for YOU but I used to write my journal in stenoscript, a form of shorthand, so that no one could read my thoughts but me. That way, I was able to get things down and out and not worry about who might try to read these most private thoughts.
I don't know what I might do if my husband disrespected my privacy in that manner. I know I would feel very violated. And as others have said, it takes some nerve to try to make someone else feel shame while doing something shameful themselves.
Love,
Lenina
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
Not sure how to say IMHO what I would like to, but....
Yes, I think he did a terrible thing, was hurt by it, and is now being petulant and self-centered.
I also see Supercrew's point about keeping secrets in a relationship. If they are forever to be kept secret, I think that is not healthy for the relationship. If they are for yourself (yes, personal) to ponder, with the intention of bringing them up to "air them out" later, at the proper time; that can be healthy.
No doubt he did wrong, but IMHO to keep them secret forever would be wrong.
Please forgive any assumptions on my part, didn't/don't know your intentions, but I would also be hurt, like you.
Yes, I think he did a terrible thing, was hurt by it, and is now being petulant and self-centered.
I also see Supercrew's point about keeping secrets in a relationship. If they are forever to be kept secret, I think that is not healthy for the relationship. If they are for yourself (yes, personal) to ponder, with the intention of bringing them up to "air them out" later, at the proper time; that can be healthy.
No doubt he did wrong, but IMHO to keep them secret forever would be wrong.
Please forgive any assumptions on my part, didn't/don't know your intentions, but I would also be hurt, like you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
I am not in any, shape or form trying to be difficult, but what is between God and me is just that. I am keeping it a secret that I think is a giant a-hole because I am hoping it will get better as I continue to work the AA program and continue to remain sober. I didn't even word it that way - I prayed that he get patience and stop being so hateful and verbally abusive
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
My fiance got into me email after we had broken up for a period...trust me, it wasn't the smartest move on his part, I've learned over the years that if you go looking for trouble, you'll most likely find it and blow it out of proportion. I try not to get into people's personal stuff. It was a very rocky period of our lives.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Oh I so agree w/you BGirl what you choose to write to your God is no one's business but yours. Its not a secret its like going to confession and having a priest blab to someone is how I look at it. I know everyone has a right to their own opinion but I really think a God box and having secrets in a house are two seperate issues. Is there nothing sacred and IMO telling or insisting that their be no secrets is a form of control and well lets just leave it at that.
I also agree in hiding it again if only to make yourself feel better or feel safe.
I live alone and I still keep my journal without names just initials but even that sometimes its not hard to figure out who and what I am talking about. I do that because my journal has been read by my ex and a family member.
Do what you need to for your recovery girl and don't you dare feel one bit guilty.
I also agree in hiding it again if only to make yourself feel better or feel safe.
I live alone and I still keep my journal without names just initials but even that sometimes its not hard to figure out who and what I am talking about. I do that because my journal has been read by my ex and a family member.
Do what you need to for your recovery girl and don't you dare feel one bit guilty.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Diaries, journals, private memoirs are the songs of the heart. They are sacrosanct, and anyone who violates this private space lacks integrity. I am appalled anyone -- especially a marriage partner -- can do this. I'm sorry this happened to you Bananagrrll.
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