Day two.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Day two.
Hi all, so sorry if this bores you as a redundant post however, let that be your warning to stop right here. 
First off thanks to my kinder post followers- who impart useful thoughts as well as their time. You know who you are and you are appreciated.
I am on another day two. I had a real craving for some vodka gimlets and the comfort of drifting off to sleep drink in hand. Instead I bought some things to make a nice salad and slept pretty much all day. Which I guess I will do until I want to do something else. Right now just not drinking is the goal, and for today, I met it. I am still really let down about interviewing so much and so intensely for a job I was sure to get and then being let down. I am drinking nothing but water and not worrying about tomorrow. I did a few things on my "to- do" list and that was enough. One of those things was to pay my phone bill in full so I have money to eat but not to drink. I am taking something to sleep for a few nights so I don't go ahead and drink at night.
First off thanks to my kinder post followers- who impart useful thoughts as well as their time. You know who you are and you are appreciated.I am on another day two. I had a real craving for some vodka gimlets and the comfort of drifting off to sleep drink in hand. Instead I bought some things to make a nice salad and slept pretty much all day. Which I guess I will do until I want to do something else. Right now just not drinking is the goal, and for today, I met it. I am still really let down about interviewing so much and so intensely for a job I was sure to get and then being let down. I am drinking nothing but water and not worrying about tomorrow. I did a few things on my "to- do" list and that was enough. One of those things was to pay my phone bill in full so I have money to eat but not to drink. I am taking something to sleep for a few nights so I don't go ahead and drink at night.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Thanks Dee. I think I am doing what I can instead of what I think I should. I did not meditate or exercise today but I did eat heathily and drank water all day and most importantly did not inebriate. If I need to sleep for awhile and feel sad, that's what I am going to do. Eventually I will feel well enough to try again as far as the job search and exercise.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by sleepie 
Hi all, so sorry if this bores you as a redundant post however, let that be your warning to stop right here. First off thanks to my kinder post followers- who impart useful thoughts as well as their time. You know who you are and you are appreciated.
First off thanks to my kinder post followers- who impart useful thoughts as well as their time. You know who you are and you are appreciated.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
You refuse to give yourself up.That's great, and brave, and nor boring nor redundant. You don't need to justify your desire for getting better to anyone. I'm rooting for ya, and I'm sure you're getting there.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Sleepie, Sometimes, after trying so hard to do all the things we're supposed to do we need to do exactly what we want to do. If that makes sense to you. I get overwhelmed at times and just want to sleep for the day or just relax and do nothing but what I feel like. Kinda recharge my batteries. Maybe it's my wanting to stop the world for a minute and get hold. Life in itself can be difficult at times to say the least. So, I give myself permission to do so without guilt. Like "oh, I should be doing this or that". Nope I'm doing exactly what I want for today. I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!
So, I say good for you, Rock On! :ghug3
So, I say good for you, Rock On! :ghug3
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Thanks I went to a meeting to day and it was boooooring. On the ride home I wanted to stop off and get a drink. So now I am watching a movie. It's hardest being alone all of the time and underemployed.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 143
hi sleepie good to see you back with determination to get sober.
l can only imagine how hard it might be to have alot of spare time on your hands and sounds like doing what you want to do for the moment is ok.
Glad to hear you got to a meeting, sorry you thought it was boring but you got your a#@ on the seat and going to AA meant you were not drinking.
If you have all of these spare hours getting to different meetings or different support groups might help you find a meeting that works for you.
Look forward to reading further posts, keep strong one day at a time
l can only imagine how hard it might be to have alot of spare time on your hands and sounds like doing what you want to do for the moment is ok.
Glad to hear you got to a meeting, sorry you thought it was boring but you got your a#@ on the seat and going to AA meant you were not drinking.
If you have all of these spare hours getting to different meetings or different support groups might help you find a meeting that works for you.
Look forward to reading further posts, keep strong one day at a time
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Your post is always welcome sleepie, regardless of the redundancy. I was off on a tangent -again- and this post has brought me back -again - and I have you to thank for that. Here I am complaining to a friend -via a blog- about my job and that good for nothing boss I have, then I read your post and feel awful.
Yeah...there are times in my life when being ungrateful has clouded my judgment and this is one of those times. I am sober and have a job and don't feel liking drinking, I have a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear, why shouldn't I be grateful. I hope you land a job soon and remain healthy. Stay close to the rooms and this forum, and remember, miracles do happen...just look at us.
Yeah...there are times in my life when being ungrateful has clouded my judgment and this is one of those times. I am sober and have a job and don't feel liking drinking, I have a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear, why shouldn't I be grateful. I hope you land a job soon and remain healthy. Stay close to the rooms and this forum, and remember, miracles do happen...just look at us.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Good to hear the clouds are clearing for you Sleepie. I have to admit that I am now on Day Four for what seems like the millionth time. So let me share a few very basic things I have done so far to try not to let it all collapse again.
1. I am using my Daily Reflections and 12-Step Prayer Book day and night.
2. I am reading AA's 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book again. In fact, I am reading Chapter One again and discussing it with people on this Forum.
3. I am aiming to go to meetings every day (boring or not). I went yesterday and Monday. Today it's just not possible to go but I do have a church study group which serves a similar purpose.
4. I have drawn up a timetable for the next four days settng out when to shop, eat, exercise, read and go to meetings.
5. I have written a list of what food I am going to buy and when I am going to eat it (during my last drink binge I did not eat anything for nearly three days).
6. I am not listening to or reading news or current affairs in the morning. Instead, I am playing jazz! I am also going to stop reading newspapers for a little while, much as I love them.
7. I have written a list of what clothes I am going to wear each day and when I am going to do the washing.
Some of this sounds almost childish but these are the baby steps that I feel I need to take to get me through to the end of the first week. And when I'm drunk, I am worse than the most selfish, helpless toddler in the grip of a tantrum so the childish approach seems appropriate.
Hope that may be of some help. All I can say is that this is my beginner's plan and perhaps there may be one or two things there that you would like to do as well.
1. I am using my Daily Reflections and 12-Step Prayer Book day and night.
2. I am reading AA's 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book again. In fact, I am reading Chapter One again and discussing it with people on this Forum.
3. I am aiming to go to meetings every day (boring or not). I went yesterday and Monday. Today it's just not possible to go but I do have a church study group which serves a similar purpose.
4. I have drawn up a timetable for the next four days settng out when to shop, eat, exercise, read and go to meetings.
5. I have written a list of what food I am going to buy and when I am going to eat it (during my last drink binge I did not eat anything for nearly three days).
6. I am not listening to or reading news or current affairs in the morning. Instead, I am playing jazz! I am also going to stop reading newspapers for a little while, much as I love them.
7. I have written a list of what clothes I am going to wear each day and when I am going to do the washing.
Some of this sounds almost childish but these are the baby steps that I feel I need to take to get me through to the end of the first week. And when I'm drunk, I am worse than the most selfish, helpless toddler in the grip of a tantrum so the childish approach seems appropriate.
Hope that may be of some help. All I can say is that this is my beginner's plan and perhaps there may be one or two things there that you would like to do as well.
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