navyvet

I went to a pawn shop and sold some tools just to have a little pocket money.
Well long story short I went to the store and bought a bottle.
Today physically I feel fine but mentally I'm down in the dumps.
The guilt I'm feeling for throwing away my sobriety has me feeling worthless.
Any body out there got any tips.

JackNWA

Do you have much of a support structure? Working any kind of a program?

24hrsAday

i would start Attending A.A. meetings.. make it a Habit.. Pray in the Morning and Ask for a day of Sobriety. one day at a time..

Antiderivative

Instead of beating yourself up, pick yourself, dust off, and get back on that wagon. That is all you can do. Indulging in self-pity will get you nowhere. In my experience, it was a distraction and a reason to drink more. It go to the point where self-pity, remorse, and guilt were actually killing me. Sadly, I have seen it kill others.

As others have said, look into a support group if you think you can benefit from it.

rws177

I'd write down exactly how you are feeling today in this moment. Hit an AA meeting and think about what you could do differantly. If you feel like having a drink in a few days read what you wrote down today so you can think of what you don't ever want to feel like again. Don't beat yourself up too much over it, we have all slipped up before, I know I have at least. Just dust yourself off and move forward. Today is a new day!

Supercrew

What happened to ther "going back to AA" idea? Is AA that bad for you where you would rather drink and kill yourself than go get active in a fellowship for your betterment?

I think you asked this board previously what you should do and you said you have over 100 days sober time, why do you feel the need to drink? Did it make you feel better or worse?

TheTinMan

Keep this last drunk you had in your mind. Try to figure out what triggered it. Go to and AA meeting.

Praying for ya.

Reset

Bookmark this thread.

And I like the idea of writing down how you feel. I do that and it helps me when I re-read all of the stupid things I did and the reasons I want to quit.

cabledude

Sorry to hear that. Stay as safe as is possible and come back when you can.

sailorjohn

Don't drink.

You didn't have to make a long story short, you sold the tools to have a little pocket money so that you could go to the store and buy a bottle.

Next time you have a little pocket money, go online, find the next AA meeting, go there, toss the money in the basket and listen to what they have to say.

Lushwell

You have started a number of threads, with little participation in them other than to fend off suggestions. You also are aware that your problems run deeper than alcoholism and are not taking prescribed medications.

I You are not willing to do anything different, reject all suggestions, and yet have an expectation that things should be different. Not much different from any other alcoholic fighting to hold on to their illness.

We can't force sobriety. It must begin within. You have a choice in how much pain is enough to end it. There is help available from there. But it must begin from within. You are looking for ways to continue without consequence. You asked for tips. I can offer a few. Whatever your thoughts tell you, ignore them. Don't think. Don't drink. Go back to AA and beg for help. Take everything that is offered, follow directions without argument. You don't have to agree, you have to do it. Unless you are aware of some better option.

Or keep doing what you are doing, if this is your idea of a winning streak.

In nature, if reason can't get the message across, pain will.

cabledude

Navyvet, you've fought getting sober 4 years longer than I did. You are tough, no doubt about that.

Might be time to shrug off the what's good or bad in AA head debate for a while and do some good for yourself.

Even if the sober people are doing it wrong and don't need to do so much, and say silly things that sound far too churchy to you, later on you can set them straight on all that stuff after you get their help to save your life.

Or if you're still crippled by pride, maybe doing that later on will make sense to you. At some future point when you find yourself in some surprising circumstances, it may strike you as the most excellent idea ever. Things really can get that bad.

Things can get so bad as to make what was going on for you in '01 and now look like fun city.

navyvet

Lushwell, other than me not going back to AA your post couldn't be anymore wrong. I have listened to what the other posters have posted for instance I'm back on my meds. I didn't know I had to make my prior posts multiple pages long to prove I'm listening to what the people on here have to say.
And I do plan on getting back to AA on my time and I'll avoid blowhards such as yourself who think they know everything because they happen to be sober.

cabledude

NV, good stuff but you got the order wrong. Set them straight on their crap AFTER they help you save your life. For a while do yourself a favor and just come along.

Whenever your timeframe permits.

skg

NavyVet,
Glad you made it back. It's not always a certainty that folks will make it back after a bender, so congratulations and thank you for coming back to tell on yourself. Rigorous honesty is the foundation and the departure point in my recovery each and every day.

The offer in my PM still stands if you simply want to stand down and "talk" about it.

SASA

in my case journaling helped me a lot. I started writing down daily my thoughts and if I relapsed went back to identify my trigger. As many of you maybe saw my relationship issues and communication with people is and was a major problem for me, however without journaling I could ahve never identified my exact feeling that cause me to drink. Also suggestions from people on SR were very helpful to me in my situations, I still needed to confirm for myself the triggers and work on them. So one thing I would do is dust yourself off, feeling guilty does not get you anywhere, try to identify the trigger that caused your relapse and move on. Ger back onto the wagon and try again

Lushwell

You asked for tips. My ways may not be the right way, or the only way, or even the best way. But they didn't involve taking my junk to the pawn shop so I could get drunk yesterday. I was directed to a different path. I took that path not because I'm smart. I did it because I watched others who had walked it, and were walking it, and I wanted what they had. They didn't go to the pawnshop either. Nor did they start threads that essentially said "I keep doing these painful things and it keeps hurting. I'm willing to listen to anything anyone says, providing they don't tell me to quit and take some responsibility for my life." I hope you inflict no more pain and damage than is needed for you to take responsible action.

bellakeller

Wouldn't it be great if we all could "happen to be sober".

Sorry, I don't mean to make light of this, but I don't think any of us here has just happened upon sobriety. At least for me, it's taken so much work. But so worth the effort.

I hope you get yourself some more help on this.

Much love.

ZZworldontheweb

Tough love going on here, but all correct.

Kjell

Stop and think about this sentence.

Be willing to follow direction from those who know how to get and stay sober.

Be willing.

You can do this. They can and want to help you.

Kjell