Che

Don't drink.

If you have any further questions, please refer to the answer above.

I'm happy that you have two children in your life. I've read your posts before and I know that you have a lot of will-power issues. If you don't take a stand with this, your biggest vice, you will never feel in control of your life. There is no moderation for you. You're drinking for all the wrong reasons, and it's gotten to the point where there will never be a right reason. Just don't drink. Please show some respect for these forums and post when you're serious about quitting.

BullDog777

every post i've ever read of pink's suggested she was always craving so badly she even drank during her pregnancy...so how can you in the same breath suggest that she might be one of those people who could moderate their drinking?

People who can moderate thier drinking do not drink during pregnancies

nvrbeentospain

You know, you're probably right. I still feel like some of the prior posts went beyond being helpful, but you're right, pink's choices might very well have (and might already have had) negative effects on her children. That's a hard thing. We all respond emotionally to that.

onlythetruth

Audrey Kishline was in AA at the time she was involved in that accident. As unfortunate as her behavior was, it is no more an indictment of Moderation Management than it is of AA.

OTT

onlythetruth

I state that because I am not in charge of the decisions of other people. I personally abstain from alcohol. I have done so for 12 years. But I am a big believer in letting other people reach their own conclusions.

OTT

Opivotal

Moderation? Never worked for anyone I know. Sure maybe for a few weeks. Believe me I tried my hardest to control my drinking. ALWAYS wound up in a blackout. Sooner or later. This happened while moderating. EVERY TIME. Finally got it in my thick head that I could NOT control my drinking. Had to give up my best buddy. Or so I thought. I realize now, being sober, it was my best ENEMY.

Sooner or later we all have to face this. We can drink ourselves to death or stop drinking and LIVE. I promise you, LIFE is a better option.

I believe this was the question you wanted answered.

Best Wishes To You and Your family.

DayTrader

Quite the level of junior therapy goin' on in this thread. Alcoholics truly are the most self-centered egotistical ppl I've ever met (myself included).

.


Pink, no matter what ppl tell you - "you can" or "you can't" you're going to have to make your own mind up and take ownership for that decision along with the consequences of your actions.

Look into your own history, whatever that is, and answer the question from your own real-live past - that's what really happened... trust that over other people's opinions of what your future might be.

keithj

That's a very useful idea. I did a lot of experiments with moderating. I tried drinking on weekends only, drinking only after a certain time in the evening, limiting the number of drinks, drinking only beer, etc... After a time, every experiment ended with me drunk for days on end, pitiful and hopeless. I know, without any doubt, that moderation did not work for me.

But me knowing that for myself does absolutely no good for anyone else. What is your own experience with trying to control how much or when you drink? Where do you end up when you try to control your drinking?

SSIL75

For me, trying (and failing at!) moderation was an important step in my recovery. I had to learn for myself that it was a hopeless exercise. I didn't believe it when other people told me (believing instead that my own special brand of alcoholism was fancier and more adapatable ).

I think it's true that MM might end up referring more people to AA than anything else. But that's OK. Whatever gets you to where you need to be.

littlebluedog

Nope. Not if you're an alcoholic like me.

shaun00

No not in my experience.....ive never seen an alcoholic moderate.
and ive made many attempts myself..

One thing is for sure......while there where reservations and i had an idea i could moderate or control......i would sure keep trying.

Deep desperation drove me to AA....and i guess i knew this wasnt a "choice" thing anymore......rather a puppet on a string.

Every illusion i could drink like i wanted to had to smashed....and it was.

nvrbeentospain

That's probably true for most of us.

The useful thing about MM, too, is that it sets objective guidelines. You're not supposed to drink for 30 days. After that, it's 14 drinks/week for men and 9 drinks/week for women. Don't know if they have a limit for drinks/day, but that'd probably be useful, too. So if you can't do those things, you can't moderate.

I know when people here talk about moderation, they always mention constantly inventing new rules for moderation. Been there, too. I think that gives us room to fool ourselves into thinking the moderation thing is working when it's not.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=onlythetruth;2789578]Audrey Kishline was in AA at the time she was involved in that accident. As unfortunate as her behavior was, it is no more an indictment of Moderation Management than it is of AA.

Very true statement. She was actively involved in AA and working the program when she had that horrible accident. She had distanced herself from Moderation Management for years.

joinedintime

Can you moderate your drinking?
My answer to you is no.

It doesn't matter what my answer is though and here's why;
The real question is not can you moderate, the real question is why do you want to moderate the intake of a fluid that is poisoning you?
Would you moderate the intake of arsenic? bleach? spoiled meat? etc. or would you want to eliminate the intake?

nvrbeentospain

I don't know -- the problem with alcohol is that it's not poison to most people. Arsenic is deadly for everyone, not just to people who consume too much of it because they can't stop. Those of us who try to convince ourselves we can moderate look at all the people we know who drink regularly with absolutely no adverse consequences. I guess you can say alcohol is like poison to an addict, but convincing yourself you're an addict isn't so easy.

But yeah, why is moderation so appealing. I think that points to bigger issues about addiction.

Dee74

I've already removed a little mini discussion on Audrey Kishline. I can't see that the tragic details of her story are terribly relevant here or much of a help to the OP - but our stories just might be.

Lets all focus and stay on topic thanks.
D

joinedintime

I agree. You're coming to the same question I was driving at - why is moderation so appealing?
I was there too. It was very appealing to me. I didn't want to give up the friend that I thought alcohol was to me. I didn't want to give up the "fitting in" with society.
Now that I've spent some time sober I know it wasn't my friend and I know that I fit in just fine without alcohol. Now I can spend time and energy on things that mean more to me.
Was it easy to get here? No.
Is it worth it? More than I can describe.

onlythetruth

Funny thing, I guess: for me, moderation actually is NOT appealing in the least.

When I drink, I want to get drunk. The notion of sitting down quietly and having a glass or two of wine isn't the least bit attractive to me--and actually, that admission/realization has been one of the more important things I've experienced since I quit drinking.

With me, the only reason to drink is to get drunk. But that will ruin my life, and eventually kill me.

So I don't drink.