Isaiah

The thought just popped to mind a moment ago. So I decided to run with it. Got me thinking about something, what it is I want/need from life.

A working list:

Love
Health
Family (maybe not one of my own)
Material comfort
Religion-faith
An occupation or calling
Friends
Music and books

And I'm thinking, "getting buzzed" is so blastedly unimportant I laugh at the idea that it be included. I know my addiction will always fight for inclusion, but how absurd is that really?

suki44883

Exactly! What's so great about drinking alcohol anyway? I mean, really?

Dime

When we are sober anything is possible. When we drink all bets are off. For me personally I do not believe I would still be here if I continued to drink. For an alcoholic drinking strips everything in life away, the longer we continue the worse it gets. For me it all changed when I asked for help in a program of recovery. I tried AA it worked and I have been sober since.

Isaiah

Yes, there are enjoyable things about alcohol. Most of the time I spent drinking in my life was "fun alcohol." But there are a lot of things that I find enjoyable in life: swimming, going to concerts, eating ice cream.

If you took away any of those last three, I'd be sad but I'd move on. I can't imagine going through severe anxiety, desperation, lying or needed a recovery program to cope with their loss. Alcohol in alcoholism makes itself into something far bigger than it really is. Hence the insanity.

LaFemme

Id have a hard time never swimming again but that's just me;-) maybe ill go for a swim this afternoon:-)

kdr143

great list babe!!! I love making list today something i never did as a drunk. I never had any goals and the ones i did have i would laugh off thinking yea right i can't have that or do that.................well of course i can't as a drunk.
now i feel great and my goals are actually right there to reach and the promises oh the promises.........are being revealed..........sometimes quickly sometimes slowly but they are happening because i am living and working the steps!!!!
muah! loved the post made me smile

Boleo

How absurd is that really - What part of man's thinking is delusional?

DayTrader

I found I stay happier when I quit focusing on what it is I think I want and need and try to focus on being grateful for what I have and on carrying out what my HP wants me to do.

I'm not knocking you Isiah but I find lists like that tend to come from a place I do my best to stay out of.... MY wants, MY desires, what I think I've earned/got coming, and what I think I need. My experience is that I really have no clue what it is that I NEED and most of what I want isn't on that list.

A big part of getting to and staying in the world of the spirit is divorcing one's self from self-centered thinking (my desires). I find I "need" to take more of an interest in my fellows and try to be of service to them.

Isaiah

I know where you're coming from DayTrader, but I'm not sure I quite agree either. I believe that without the basic wants/needs present in our minds then there is no way to ever understand the concept of gratitude to begin with. If I'm hungry and someone gives me food, I am grateful. If I'm hungry and someone gives me a rock, not so much so.

Nor do I think of most of those things as selfish egoism. Love and faith are by their nature useless if self-serving. Family, friendship and calling are places of service and communion. The rest are simple things that the God of my understanding has pretty much given a universal thumbs up toward (it's okay to want to eat and eat, you don't have to pray to a HP for understanding.)

I respect the particularities and tenets of AA's spirituality, but it is not the one I belong to.

LTrzczka

For me a list like that is just too far away. Once the first can hits my lips, I simply wake up three days later with a wrecked house. The only thing on my want-list is to not pick up the first beer. If I can keep from from doing that, the rest (love, happiness, purpose, etc...) seems to fall into place.

I just keep screwing up... maybe this time can be different.

Thanks for the interesting post.

LT

GreenAces

I can really relate to you Isaiah.

I often times feel that way about weed.. I know that I will never drink again, through God's will and working the steps of AA and taking my life moment by moment because I know exactly where that will lead me.. To a pit of utter **** and quite possibly death.

But on the other hand, I love weed, it has never been my problem. I haven't smoked it in years because I am in the military and that's obviously against policy.. But I would love to experience it again but I know that I can't because I am trying to live a good and full life in sobriety. But I do think about it from time to time about how I will never be able to smoke weed again because I know exactly where that will lead me.. To a life of selfishness and I wouldn't be living life sober now would I?? Plus it would make me extremely complacent and I would probably go back to drinking which is the LAST thing I want to do.

So thank you for your post because it really got me thinking and got me to the realization that that is one thing I can never do again and I am about to make a list of what I want:


-A loving a caring family of my own
-A good career that allows me to help others
-No more outragious bills
-A great fellowship
-A SOBER LIFE

I don't think I could get any of those things if I continued to drink or even smoke weed for that matter..

Thanks again.

CarolD

Why bring up what you don't use?
It's your choice....I wish you well....

sampar

Thanks for keepin it simple

Jomey

Hey Isaiah, I like your post. I think it shows a beautiful change of direction in your thinking....back towards the land of the living! I too created lists like that in early sobriety, and I think the impulse to look for meaning beyond a bottle is glorious. Your list may change over time, or you may even find that you follow a totally new direction, but in the meantime, I'm happy for you that you are thinking of an alcohol-free future.

Good luck to you! Jomey

Stang

Got me it damned sho ain't all that!!

Zencat

Your post reminded me Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Recovery has worked best for me when I identify the areas that I need to work on. Thank goodness for the wealth of helpful information that available today. Allowing me to plot a course that is continuing to bring well-being into my life.

Isaiah

I work AA's steps and am committed to the program.

Though I have found that while AA claims to be devoid of creed and is "spiritual not religious," in the literature and at tables I have noticed what I feel is a very specific set of tenets and/or religious ideas. And those ideas frequently go against my own religious beliefs.

It hasn't been a barrier to me working the program. While I hold a high regard for the founders of AA, I do not consider their ideas of spirituality to be necessarily any better than those I get from my own church.

Isaiah

Maslow, definitely. I think the things I put on the list are the basic things that so many religions, philosophies and other vagrants have been pushing as the key to happiness. Focusing on the important things; not worrying that my cellphone is four years old and everyone else I know has iPods.

DayTrader

You're welcome to your list.....as I said, how you work your program is up to you. I found when I pursue my goals/plans/hopes/expectations they move right to the top of the list.....which means God's stuff gets moved down.....and that has proved to be a problem. My experience matches what's in the BB. When I try to manage my own life, I screw up, I find resentments, I get disappointed, or I get what I want.......then discover that it didn't do for me what I thought it would.

While there are lots and lots of things that will bring me pleasure, very few things bring me true happiness. Ya see, pleasure is rooted in the material world whereas happiness is rooted in the spiritual world. We've been conditioned through the decades of our lives to think materialistically and have deluded ourselves into believing things/wants/desires will bring us happiness......but they don't. Not for long anyway. I'll give you an example: When u got your driver's license you probably wanted a car and just knew if you got that car you'd be happy. I assume you got it. If so, are you happy? Today? ....you probably WERE pleasured (deluded into thinking it was happiness) but, odds are, the shine of that car eventually wore off. That car is probably not continuing to bring you pleasure.....therefore, it didn't make you truly happy (in a spiritual sense).

My comments, which cautioned you about that list, came directly from the 3rd, 9th, 11th and the 12th steps: "selfishness, self-centeredness, that we think is the root of our troubles," "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so," "First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work." "God was going to be our Director." "self seeking will slip away," "out whole attitude and outlook upon life will change." "praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out" and "spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all of our affairs."

I've not seen anywhere in any of the literature where they say, now that you're dry and not drinking you're able to manage and run your own life so what you need to do is make a list of things that you believe you need and/or want from life and work toward getting those things. On the other hand, there are many, many, MANY places in the BB (the AA program) where we're told to divorce ourselves from old thinking (like beliefs that we "need" certain things to be happy), that we'll lose interest in ourselves and gain interest in our fellows, that it's "nonsense" to claim that we must have our material needs met to conquer alcohol and/or be happy in life, and that material well-being must ALWAYS follow spiritual progress.

I believe you believe that.

I would encourage you to explore whether that's part of Truth or part of your old thinking. Are you open to the possibility that you might be wrong and, if so, are you willing to explore the alternatives with an open mind? Sometimes what looks like a rock is really some kind of everlasting protein-pack that will sustain you for a lifetime.....thus making the meal that you wanted because you were sure you needed it (which would have satisfied a current need but nothing beyond that) pale in comparison.

Zencat

I too have aspirations for some of what I consider luxury items. Yet my peacefulness is not dependent on acquiring material things. I suspect its the same for you. Then there are the higher purpose callings like love and spiritual development. IMO those are not dependent on what ones station in life is, rich or poor one can pursue serenity thus becoming more useful to others as with oneself.