EmptySoul

I have a very different philosophy when it comes to substance abuse. I have found tremendous success using SMART ( SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction ) I don't want to get blasted here but feel free to PM if you want more info on why SMART works better for me than AA.

lilac0721

This is a great thread and there are a lot of great responses! MissB, I personally know people who have gotten sober entirely on their own, people who have gotten sober with AA, and people who got sober through prayer (God removed any and all desire for alcohol). Like Lexie said, I believe that if everyone were to conduct their lives according to the 12 steps, the world would be a better place (and I'd likely be out of a job). Then again, I am also a Christian and recognize that the 12 steps are very similar to the principles for living found throughout the Bible. SO if everyone were to follow those principles (or the principles of Buddhism) the world would be a much better place.

I personally like some of the ideas in SMART and Rational Recovery, as well as Women for Sobriety. All three have websites. Check out the Secular Recovery thread for more info!

shegirl

You could try private therapy, maybe you would be more open if you were one on one with someone, and an online kinda support group like here.

thisisme

Allen Carr.
Amazon.com: The Easy Way to Stop Drinking (9781402736476): Allen Carr: Books
The best $10 you will ever spend.

I discounted nothing. I read and read and kept what inspired me, Carr did just that but may not for you.
AA is a "compliment" to my sobriety. I go to very few meetings and my first was at 4 years. They accepted me, accepted my higher power(Carr) and treated me with nothing but respect.
Find your path.
Best.

cakeeater

I'm more than a year sober without AA. I have a good therapist and a supportive family which helped me a great deal getting through it. There are alternatives if you want a support group. Smart Recovery mentioned already is the first thing that comes to mind.

Finding the right fit can make your head spin I know.

My personal opinion is to get sober someone has to do what they know deep down is right and be utterly committed. The rest is just tools to add to that.

Stang

I just ordered that book. I know it has great reviews on amazon. I did AA for three months and if it works that's fine. I don't think it's a "cult" or any of that crap. If it is it's the first cult you can freely walk away from.

Bamboozle

I use SR, my therapist, and myself.

LaFemme

I loved Carrs book...I think it was the final tipping point, the final piece of the puzzle for me getting sober. That said...I found a support group for people using his method...this actually goes against what he says but what the heck. A good number of people reported success with his method...but There were also people who continued to have problems. For me its worked, along with the tools I continue to pick up here and the support I get here. And a bunch of other stuff too:-)

bubblehead

I tried AA when I first wanted to quit, had a problem with the rleigion and only went to 2 meetings before giving up. After a few binges, I went back out of desperation. I went to a meeting every day, sometimes 2. i found a group I really liked, I miss them. I was very serious, I studied the Big Book and wanted to work the steps. That being said, it did not stop me from binging again.
Since I have moved, I am fine. I have not gone to AA and I am OK. I am on day 31.
I think AA is helpful and can help you make new friends. I dont know if the "steps" actually work. You have to want to quit drinking and many people do it on their own because they WANT to. To me, AA is a nice place to find people of like mind and maybe make some new nondrinking friends.

cakeeater

I did something similar. I sat through 2 AA meetings and went home and binged. The reason being I was getting scared at the time but wasn't ready to quit. At the time I didn't realize what a powerful deathwish I really had. I have no anti-AA sentiments despite the fact I decided not to use them. The group I went to was way over the top hardcore but regardless their intentions with me were honorable. I felt almost as if I would contaminate their meetings with my presence. Boo hoo.

I also had to relocate from where I was living before I really made a commitment. That change of scenery helped shock me out of that drunken comfort zone.

Congratulations on 31 days.

Zencat

I use SMART Recovery, among other things, for my recovery plan. I tried faith based self-help programs but they didn't jive with my personal values. So I found a recovery program that didn't conflict with the things that I hold to be true.

But due to the lack of SMART meetings, I attend open AA meetings. I hear a lot things in meetings I can use and others things that I don't. With AA, I do the 'take what you need and leave the rest' for somebody else deal.

If a desperate, down and out hopeless addict like myself can find enough resources (recovery skills) to live a life free from alcohol addiction, anybody can.

HideorSeek

I use AA, but I also use meditation, Yoga, self-help books....and I think each has value for me. But AA specifically introduced me to people with the same problem (eliminating the sense of isolation that alcoholism thrives on) and I have come to value their honesty, integrity and compassion. Who wouldn't want friends like that? As far as the Steps, I'm with Lexie and the others...it is a way to LIVE and anyone could benefit. By working the Steps and incorporating them in my life, I am happier than I have been...ever.

Is AA the only way? No, but it has helped me, so I'll keep going!

bubblehead

Thank you. Not to hijack the thread but my 31 days to me is the difference between life and death. I have seen so many people die from alcohol. One of my mom's boyfriends died of a rare form of cirrhoisis that only happens to native americans. You hear of people quitting drinking and they are fine. He never had that chance. he was diagnosed and dead within a month despite the fact he quit as soon as he was diagnosed. He was only 49. I have also noticed there are lots of men posting saying they recovered from cirrhosis. Not many women, I wonder if they don't heal. scary. I drank out of anxiety, but it only caused me more anxiety worrying what I was doing to myself.
The change of scenery does help. I would rather sit outside and enjoy a cup of coffee, drinking to me is just gross. I don't associate being here with drinking. When I went back where I used to live to get my things, I had drunk flashbacks of walking to the store to get more beer. It made me feel sick.

Boleo

You could try to have a "spiritual awakening" the Tantra way. That is, you face your deepest fears head-on, naked and defenseless, without escape routes or alternatives, throwing caution to the wind, letting the chips fall where they may and detaching from the outcome.

Kind of like step 9 except you face more serious enemies like tigers and cobra snakes.

sobermax

This thread is a huge comfort - thanks all.

I first went to AA when I was 22, knowing that I was an alcoholic but lacking the maturity to really understand what it was about. Flash forward 8 interesting years and I was back in the rooms for some months but again, it didn't sit right with me, in fact I would leave the meetings feeling utterly inadequate - like I was missing the AA gene.

I then managed to stop drinking without support for 2 1/2 years - just fell in love with being sober. As far as I was concerned, I was cured and of course, drank again (this was 3 years ago), and spent the next 2 pretty miserably trying to work out why all the peace and certainty I had found seemed to have disappeared.

I went back to AA about 6 months ago. I read the BB and accompanying literature, found a sponsor and started working the steps. This time, I began to see how the steps could help to bring about the fundamental change of outlook on life which seems to be necessary for most people to find long-term sobriety (not just an absence of alcohol). There are some very cool people there and great wisdom. And it isn't effective for everyone.

SR has been a revelation - there are so many people, all over the world who have found their sobriety via many different paths: AA, SMART, therapies, meditation . . . whatever.

I slipped recently, because I stopped doing any work on myself: a couple of months of sobriety and I felt so much better that 'just one drink' started to seem like a good idea again and I bought what my head was whispering to me. I stopped posting here, started getting resentful . . . left a cigarette in a wastebin and narrowly avoided burning my flat to the ground. 'Just one . . .'

The hard thing for me isn't stopping, but keeping focused on the fact that our (alcoholics) lives depend on not taking the first drink.

With only 5 days days since my last drink, my opinion probably doesn't count for much but still I firmly believe that those who manage to stay sober are the ones who maintain this focus through whatever program they choose. Alcoholism doesn't go away as I have learned to my cost, but from reading all the various success stories here on SR, there are clearly many roads to Rome.

I sincerely hope that you find your path, and are able to bring about the necessary changes within yourself to get and stay sober. Every single day you don't drink is inspiration for me and all the others just like us to do the same so please keep posting.

SM

cakeeater

Glad to hear it. Sounds like good progress to me. I was still feeling pretty shaky at a month. My head wasn't on straight yet though. Now however I honestly don't even think about alcohol very often. Though I'll never consider myself invincible I can't remember the last time I had a craving or was worried I'd start again.

My internals all seem to be in working order. Though I wonder sometimes if I've lost some IQ points.

missb89

Thank you all for taking the time to respond, each and every one of you. I am still going to attend AA meetings, and go to at least 6 like they suggest before making up my mind. I actually just got back from Borders and had purchased the Carr book mentioned along with his one for stopping smoking, before I even read these posts, what a coinsidence! I start my first therapy session tomorrow as well. I'm trying to get all of my tools ready to work for me, I am so tired of working against myself, even if it was only on the weekends. Take care everyone, I'll keep you updated!