Originally Posted by
cakeeater 
I did something similar. I sat through 2 AA meetings and went home and binged. The reason being I was getting scared at the time but wasn't ready to quit. At the time I didn't realize what a powerful deathwish I really had. I have no anti-AA sentiments despite the fact I decided not to use them. The group I went to was way over the top hardcore but regardless their intentions with me were honorable. I felt almost as if I would contaminate their meetings with my presence. Boo hoo.
I also had to relocate from where I was living before I really made a commitment. That change of scenery helped shock me out of that drunken comfort zone.
Congratulations on 31 days.
Thank you. Not to hijack the thread but my 31 days to me is the difference between life and death. I have seen so many people die from alcohol. One of my mom's boyfriends died of a rare form of cirrhoisis that only happens to native americans. You hear of people quitting drinking and they are fine. He never had that chance. he was diagnosed and dead within a month despite the fact he quit as soon as he was diagnosed. He was only 49. I have also noticed there are lots of men posting saying they recovered from cirrhosis. Not many women, I wonder if they don't heal. scary. I drank out of anxiety, but it only caused me more anxiety worrying what I was doing to myself.
The change of scenery does help. I would rather sit outside and enjoy a cup of coffee, drinking to me is just gross. I don't associate being here with drinking. When I went back where I used to live to get my things, I had drunk flashbacks of walking to the store to get more beer. It made me feel sick.