Maybe It's Time to Give Up
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Mark - I had those feeling at one point myself. I'm glad I tried again, though. How much sobriety did/do you have?
And if you don't mind me asking, why do you feel you can't live without alcohol? Maybe if you could answer that, you'd find that there are alternative solutions to what you believe alcohol does for you......
And if you don't mind me asking, why do you feel you can't live without alcohol? Maybe if you could answer that, you'd find that there are alternative solutions to what you believe alcohol does for you......
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Maark....Welcome back
I'm sorry you are feeling so dispirited ..
Did you ever check with your doctor as we suggested?
I know when my drinking made me depressed
I was diagnosed with situational depression
and my doctor recommended AA recovery.
It's been a great way for me to recover
and live with purpose and joy.
I'm sorry you are feeling so dispirited ..
Did you ever check with your doctor as we suggested?
I know when my drinking made me depressed
I was diagnosed with situational depression
and my doctor recommended AA recovery.
It's been a great way for me to recover
and live with purpose and joy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 81
Man, I have zero sobriety basically. I'm a loser when it comes to this. I can't even go a day without a drink. This is why I say I think I need it. I crave alcohol every day of my life. If I go any more than around 18-20 hours without a drink my hands shake, heart pounds, head aches, etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by MarkNS 
Man, I have zero sobriety basically. I'm a loser when it comes to this. I can't even go a day without a drink. This is why I say I think I need it. I crave alcohol every day of my life. If I go any more than around 18-20 hours without a drink my hands shake, heart pounds, head aches, etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by CarolD
Maark....Welcome back
I'm sorry you are feeling so dispirited ..
Did you ever check with your doctor as we suggested?
I know when my drinking made me depressed
I was diagnosed with situational depression
and my doctor recommended AA recovery.
It's been a great way for me to recover
and live with purpose and joy.
I'm sorry you are feeling so dispirited ..
Did you ever check with your doctor as we suggested?
I know when my drinking made me depressed
I was diagnosed with situational depression
and my doctor recommended AA recovery.
It's been a great way for me to recover
and live with purpose and joy.
I know I should be able to do that though. I'm in a weird place lately with all of this if that makes any sense?? Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Mark, for a better understanding of the disease of alcoholism and how it is taking a huge toll on your health and well-being, please read "Under the Influence" by James Milam and Katherine Ketchum. Everyone who drinks alcohol should read it.
I hope you keep coming back to SR. Be well.
I hope you keep coming back to SR. Be well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by MarkNS
Man, I have zero sobriety basically. I'm a loser when it comes to this. I can't even go a day without a drink. This is why I say I think I need it. I crave alcohol every day of my life. If I go any more than around 18-20 hours without a drink my hands shake, heart pounds, head aches, etc.
It sounds like your body has a physical dependence on alcohol, and you should probably try to see a doctor or get yourself to a detox facility if possible. The physical dependence thing was what made me become sober, and it's one of the major reasons why I don't want to drink again. I didn't realize I was physically dependant on it, but after a serious withdrawal I noticed that it was killing me.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
The reason for the doctor is so you won't have danger
when you begin to de tox.
You have already noticed some mild symptoms and so....be
safe when you withdraw.
Sooo....how about checking out AA?
It's full of people who are headed into a sober future.
I guarantee we know all about weird feeling and
struggleing to find a way out......
when you begin to de tox.
You have already noticed some mild symptoms and so....be
safe when you withdraw.
Sooo....how about checking out AA?
It's full of people who are headed into a sober future.
I guarantee we know all about weird feeling and
struggleing to find a way out......
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey Mark,
I know how you feel, there were times when I thought the same thing, but the next day, I'd awaken with just a tiny bit of hope. The hope kept bouncing back till I finally believed I might be able to live without booze. It was not easy and is still a day-by-day thing I deal with, but you can get off the sauce if you don't give up hope. It only takes a little hope to keep trying, so just keep trying each day.
I would see a doc too, to possibly get some help during the withdrawals.
Hang in there and don't give up on yourself.
I know how you feel, there were times when I thought the same thing, but the next day, I'd awaken with just a tiny bit of hope. The hope kept bouncing back till I finally believed I might be able to live without booze. It was not easy and is still a day-by-day thing I deal with, but you can get off the sauce if you don't give up hope. It only takes a little hope to keep trying, so just keep trying each day.
I would see a doc too, to possibly get some help during the withdrawals.
Hang in there and don't give up on yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Mark
For 5 years or so I was an all day everyday drinker - everyday I tried to quit...every night I'd end up going to bed drunk and passing out.
It was a long hard and painful journey full of mistakes and false starts but I eventually worked out what I had to do to quit and stay quit.
I have nearly 4 years now.
Do whatever you have to do - AA, rehab whatever - but certainly see your Dr....
try anything & everything if thats what it takes...there is always hope...just look around here, man - noones a hopeless case, unless you convince yourself that way
D
For 5 years or so I was an all day everyday drinker - everyday I tried to quit...every night I'd end up going to bed drunk and passing out.
It was a long hard and painful journey full of mistakes and false starts but I eventually worked out what I had to do to quit and stay quit.
I have nearly 4 years now.
Do whatever you have to do - AA, rehab whatever - but certainly see your Dr....
try anything & everything if thats what it takes...there is always hope...just look around here, man - noones a hopeless case, unless you convince yourself that way
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Mark - I agree with what input here is - you need help my friend. Giving up is the alcoholic thing in us that tells us its hopeless.
Like others, I too battled for a long time on my own and I felt pretty beat down. I needed help and I reached out and I got it.
I urge you to call your Dr. do AA or perhaps rehab. There are many options but going it alone without support doesn't seem to be working for you and I sure didn't work for me either.
I would still be a drunk going through the shakes and being miserable if I didn't reach out Mark.
You can do it. I think getting to a Dr. and getting to AA are the most immediate ways to get started here.
No matter how hard it may seem....you have to take a stand here and reach out.
Thinking of you.
Like others, I too battled for a long time on my own and I felt pretty beat down. I needed help and I reached out and I got it.
I urge you to call your Dr. do AA or perhaps rehab. There are many options but going it alone without support doesn't seem to be working for you and I sure didn't work for me either.
I would still be a drunk going through the shakes and being miserable if I didn't reach out Mark.
You can do it. I think getting to a Dr. and getting to AA are the most immediate ways to get started here.
No matter how hard it may seem....you have to take a stand here and reach out.
Thinking of you.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Mark...
You may not know it but you just took the first step in AA and that's the HARDEST one....to realize you're powerless over alcohol. Honestly man, that's awwwwwwwwesome news.
I dunno if you've considered AA or not but you'd be a shoe in. A guy where you are now, you're already WELL on your way to never having to drink again if you want that. Sheesh......I'm kinda jealous. That first step took me a lot longer to admit and you did it without even knowing you were doing it. lucky devil.
You may not know it but you just took the first step in AA and that's the HARDEST one....to realize you're powerless over alcohol. Honestly man, that's awwwwwwwwesome news.
I dunno if you've considered AA or not but you'd be a shoe in. A guy where you are now, you're already WELL on your way to never having to drink again if you want that. Sheesh......I'm kinda jealous. That first step took me a lot longer to admit and you did it without even knowing you were doing it. lucky devil.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Hi Mark.
I probably drank as much as you do at various points. I know how it feels to be gripped by alcohol. The two biggest turning points for me were.
1 - realizing that my cravings were chemical reactions. My cravings weren't reflective of 'real' emotional needs. They are just alcohol talking
(RR's AVRT makes a lot of sense to me).
2 - Finally, fully, wholly accepting and LOVING the fact that I can't drink again, ever. I am not sane when I drink. My cravings aren't real. It's not me. It's utterly irrational to consistantly consume vast quantities of something that makes me sick, tired, withdrawn etc. Yes it made me feel great for a short period. But so do lots of other things. And most of those don't stunt my emotional and spiritual growth. Or rob my children of their mother.
Realizing that my view of alcohol was totally disordered and obsessive. That it's really not that important to normal people. It doesn't make or break an event. It's just not that important.. has been very powerful. I don't avoid places with alcohol or anything (a personal decision and not one that works for everyone). Alcohol has no power over me once its outside my body.
Keep posting Mark!
I probably drank as much as you do at various points. I know how it feels to be gripped by alcohol. The two biggest turning points for me were.
1 - realizing that my cravings were chemical reactions. My cravings weren't reflective of 'real' emotional needs. They are just alcohol talking
(RR's AVRT makes a lot of sense to me).
2 - Finally, fully, wholly accepting and LOVING the fact that I can't drink again, ever. I am not sane when I drink. My cravings aren't real. It's not me. It's utterly irrational to consistantly consume vast quantities of something that makes me sick, tired, withdrawn etc. Yes it made me feel great for a short period. But so do lots of other things. And most of those don't stunt my emotional and spiritual growth. Or rob my children of their mother.
Realizing that my view of alcohol was totally disordered and obsessive. That it's really not that important to normal people. It doesn't make or break an event. It's just not that important.. has been very powerful. I don't avoid places with alcohol or anything (a personal decision and not one that works for everyone). Alcohol has no power over me once its outside my body.
Keep posting Mark!
Last edited by Dee74; 10-16-2010 at 04:53 PM.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Mark, it does seem to make everything all right. While it gives, it takes, though. We're living in a realm of "seems" when we maintain a relationship with it. It's a drug after all.
When I look at your posts, I am reminded of similar things I said to myself for years.
When I look at your posts, I am reminded of similar things I said to myself for years.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Mark,
Your "symptoms" are no more than what is normal for most alcoholics. It becomes unimaginable how we will ever be able to live without drinking.
The withdrawal symptoms will be GONE once you have detoxed safely. The next step is dealing with the obsession in your mind for a drink. Detox plus AA and/or rehab can get you on the road in surprisingly little time.
None of us here who are successfully sober (I have two years) got there without help. The addiction is simply too strong to just get up and decide you are not going to drink any more and expect to succeed.
For me, "giving up" WAS the answer. I stopped struggling with my desire to drink, accepted that I could never drink normally, and surrendered. That is when REAL hope was able to come into my life.
If you are really ready to feel better, get ready to change your life. You can do this--plenty of people just as bad off as you (and many who were in worse circumstances) have done it.
Your "symptoms" are no more than what is normal for most alcoholics. It becomes unimaginable how we will ever be able to live without drinking.
The withdrawal symptoms will be GONE once you have detoxed safely. The next step is dealing with the obsession in your mind for a drink. Detox plus AA and/or rehab can get you on the road in surprisingly little time.
None of us here who are successfully sober (I have two years) got there without help. The addiction is simply too strong to just get up and decide you are not going to drink any more and expect to succeed.
For me, "giving up" WAS the answer. I stopped struggling with my desire to drink, accepted that I could never drink normally, and surrendered. That is when REAL hope was able to come into my life.
If you are really ready to feel better, get ready to change your life. You can do this--plenty of people just as bad off as you (and many who were in worse circumstances) have done it.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Maybe you haven't hit your bottom yet...............maybe you never will, but I think once you do, you will do whatever it takes.
It took 2 DUIs and a bunch of other crap to make me even "want" to quit, and even then that still wasn't enough to acutally make me quit.
Someone came to my class the other night and talked about how they have 6 DUIs and went through the windshield 3 times and they still haven't stopped, some of us never do.
I hope you find peace...
It took 2 DUIs and a bunch of other crap to make me even "want" to quit, and even then that still wasn't enough to acutally make me quit.
Someone came to my class the other night and talked about how they have 6 DUIs and went through the windshield 3 times and they still haven't stopped, some of us never do.
I hope you find peace...
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I used to feel hopeless too, like I was just a loser and would never be able to live without drinking. But with the help of AA, my addiction counselor, and this site I've now been sober for over ten months!! The first couple months were hard but I kept on, day by day, and finally realized I'd lost the desire to drink! What a relief! Now I'm living a wonderful life, the life I never thought was possible. I still have problems but I handle them so much better sober.
Please don't give up on yourself. Take whatever help you can get and put your whole heart and soul into it. The rewards for living sober are so worth the effort it takes.
Please don't give up on yourself. Take whatever help you can get and put your whole heart and soul into it. The rewards for living sober are so worth the effort it takes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Mark, that physical stuff you feel every day will go away if you commit to detoxing. It sounds to me like you will need medical supervision in the first few days but after that it's all about comitting yourself to trying to stay sober. I use the word "trying" strongly because I still struggle to try. But to try is better than to just give up. Don't give up Buddy, a few days sober and you will see the light.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by MarkNS
I guess I feel embarrassed to bring this up with my doctor. Weird, I know!! :|
I know I should be able to do that though. I'm in a weird place lately with all of this if that makes any sense?? Thanks for listening.
I know I should be able to do that though. I'm in a weird place lately with all of this if that makes any sense?? Thanks for listening.
Well, if you found a weird lump or rash or something else you had a fear *could* be life-threatening, you'd talk about it with a physician, yes? Alcoholism can be life-threatening. Unless your physician is fresh out of med school and did a residency at a backwoods clinic, s/he has seen alcoholics before and (hopefully) knows proper treatment.
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