Please help (binge drinker)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
Please help (binge drinker)
Please help me. I am 23 and in grad school.
Though my whole life i feel as if i binge drink.
My alcohol past is :
1st time with alocohol was when i was 13. I wanted to try it so i went to my parents wine cellar opened a bottle poured it into 4 glasses and chugged all of them. I puked my brains out and blacked out. I did this repeadly for 4 weeks before my parents found all the bottles hidden under my bed.
I than didnt drink until i was 17. I started with a new crowed. We drank alot and i would remeber blacking out all the time and than drinking and driving. I did this until I hit a telephone poll. Stopped drinking and driving and never did it again.
In college once a week i would drink and repeadly black out, puke everywhere and make a fool of myself. I got in trouble at freshman year had to go to counseling but dismissed it as ..everyone drink im the only idiot who gets caught and sent to this crap..
Now im so sick of my life. I am so afraid every time i drink. I am deathly afraid im going to get myself in trouble. to the point of anxiety before i drink. i loose all control and and petrified of what i did the night before. I black out dont rember and question did i get arrested, did i get in a fight, did i hook up with someone...so many questions with no one to answer them.
I am depressed thinking about how i act. I make a fool of myself in every situtation. I am afraid to see the people i went out with the night before, thnking what stupid thing did i say/do.
This cant be common. I get thrown out of bars almost every time i go and its just a matter of time before i am arrested ......
please help. I dont want to get that drunk but idk i have a mentality that when i drink (once a week) i deserve to get drunk. I have come to expect the next day hung over beyond belief puking everywhere. this cant be common.
what can i do to so stop this. I still want to be able to go "out". I want to control ME. Not the drink controlling me. This sucks. Im 23 and deathly afraid of how the repercussions of my actions.
What steps can be taken to stop this.
1) i think the "pregaming" is what is getting me to drunk to start. i am almost **** faced before i even leave.
-maybe if i do not pregame i can control myself.
I am able to go out and have 4 without the need to get hammered or anything. It feels like i get to some point where control is no longer a word that describes my actions, but the word alcohol has over me.
it seems like its common, my g/f gets wasted so its not like i have other people around me that dont do it. I need someway to control this.
anyone have suggestions, prior experiences ......
please help. please.
Though my whole life i feel as if i binge drink.
My alcohol past is :
1st time with alocohol was when i was 13. I wanted to try it so i went to my parents wine cellar opened a bottle poured it into 4 glasses and chugged all of them. I puked my brains out and blacked out. I did this repeadly for 4 weeks before my parents found all the bottles hidden under my bed.
I than didnt drink until i was 17. I started with a new crowed. We drank alot and i would remeber blacking out all the time and than drinking and driving. I did this until I hit a telephone poll. Stopped drinking and driving and never did it again.
In college once a week i would drink and repeadly black out, puke everywhere and make a fool of myself. I got in trouble at freshman year had to go to counseling but dismissed it as ..everyone drink im the only idiot who gets caught and sent to this crap..
Now im so sick of my life. I am so afraid every time i drink. I am deathly afraid im going to get myself in trouble. to the point of anxiety before i drink. i loose all control and and petrified of what i did the night before. I black out dont rember and question did i get arrested, did i get in a fight, did i hook up with someone...so many questions with no one to answer them.
I am depressed thinking about how i act. I make a fool of myself in every situtation. I am afraid to see the people i went out with the night before, thnking what stupid thing did i say/do.
This cant be common. I get thrown out of bars almost every time i go and its just a matter of time before i am arrested ......
please help. I dont want to get that drunk but idk i have a mentality that when i drink (once a week) i deserve to get drunk. I have come to expect the next day hung over beyond belief puking everywhere. this cant be common.
what can i do to so stop this. I still want to be able to go "out". I want to control ME. Not the drink controlling me. This sucks. Im 23 and deathly afraid of how the repercussions of my actions.
What steps can be taken to stop this.
1) i think the "pregaming" is what is getting me to drunk to start. i am almost **** faced before i even leave.
-maybe if i do not pregame i can control myself.
I am able to go out and have 4 without the need to get hammered or anything. It feels like i get to some point where control is no longer a word that describes my actions, but the word alcohol has over me.
it seems like its common, my g/f gets wasted so its not like i have other people around me that dont do it. I need someway to control this.
anyone have suggestions, prior experiences ......
please help. please.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I don't know what to tell you, really. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. I can tell you, when i was in high school and college, and to some degree in law school, i was a binge drinker like you. I got really drunk, blackouts and all, when i drank. I thought i was drinking to have a good time and i thought i was drinking like all my friends. Not so sure about that anymore. . . .
flash forward, i am now 41 years old. i am an alcoholic. I don't doubt that I was back then, even though i was not a daily drinker, and i didnt think i was drinking to solve any problems or hide them or mask them or avoid feeling things. By the end, i was doing all of that. I became a daily drinker.. .nights. Then it started going into days. There would be blocks of 3 or 4 days i would be drunk the entire time.
i wish i had recognized it back then. I wish I would have stopped. If you are an alcoholic, you cannot control your drinking. You cannot drink like a "normal" person drinks. We simply cannot handle alcohol. It controls us.
I hope you find what you need. If you are an alcoholic, I hope you get help now, instead of waiting until it may be too late.
flash forward, i am now 41 years old. i am an alcoholic. I don't doubt that I was back then, even though i was not a daily drinker, and i didnt think i was drinking to solve any problems or hide them or mask them or avoid feeling things. By the end, i was doing all of that. I became a daily drinker.. .nights. Then it started going into days. There would be blocks of 3 or 4 days i would be drunk the entire time.
i wish i had recognized it back then. I wish I would have stopped. If you are an alcoholic, you cannot control your drinking. You cannot drink like a "normal" person drinks. We simply cannot handle alcohol. It controls us.
I hope you find what you need. If you are an alcoholic, I hope you get help now, instead of waiting until it may be too late.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there. I relate to what you say and your experience so much. I could have written a lot of that myself, so you most certainly aren't alone in what you're experiencing.
I am an alcoholic. I got sober at 23 and have over 14 months sober. However to stand any chance of staying sober then I had to realise and truly accept the situation; that I'm an alcoholic. Before I gained that total acceptance of what I am then I just was miserable for a couple of weeks until I went out on a mad binge again.
For me I had to accept that it's the first drink that is the one that gets me. That's the only drink I have to stay away from. I relate to your drinking and how it's affecting you. I was a binge-drinker too. But ultimately whether I drank before I went out or whatever then I always got wasted. For me then I had no control as soon as alcohol got in my system. The only certainty was that I'd be getting wasted and blacking out.
For me then I was done with drinking. I was beaten by alcohol. I reached the point where I had lost my driving license, lost my job, lost my self respect, loss my self-esteem and was close to losing a roof over my head. I would gladly have drank myself to death and been OK with that just as long as I was drunk. That is because I'm not just a binge-drinker like the rest of them but I'm an alcoholic. When I accepted that then I could move forwards.
I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere, in my recovery. I was willing to accept that I had to dedicate my life to my recovery as without my recovery then drinking would kill me. I knew that and if it didn't kill me directly then i would end up in prison or a mental institution. I would then have nothing to live for but another blackout. I accepted that I was the problem and not the booze. I was going to have to experience a profound change in my attitude and outlook if i was to remain gratefully sober 'one day at a time'.
I knew I had to get out of the game and dedicate my life to my recovery. I accepted this and didn't want to feel so deeply unhappy anymore.
Getting sober was the best thing I ever did. I have totally rebuilt my life back up over the last 14 months 'one day at a time'. I make ammends to those close to me everyday that I'm sober and clean. I have the total trust of my family again, which feels great. I am literally a different person now to how I was back when I was still an active alcoholic, but I'l always be an akie! I'm OK with that and it means that I know the score on a daily basis. I'm also an addict too.
The only day I have to stay sober for is today. Just for today!
All The Best
I am an alcoholic. I got sober at 23 and have over 14 months sober. However to stand any chance of staying sober then I had to realise and truly accept the situation; that I'm an alcoholic. Before I gained that total acceptance of what I am then I just was miserable for a couple of weeks until I went out on a mad binge again.
For me I had to accept that it's the first drink that is the one that gets me. That's the only drink I have to stay away from. I relate to your drinking and how it's affecting you. I was a binge-drinker too. But ultimately whether I drank before I went out or whatever then I always got wasted. For me then I had no control as soon as alcohol got in my system. The only certainty was that I'd be getting wasted and blacking out.
For me then I was done with drinking. I was beaten by alcohol. I reached the point where I had lost my driving license, lost my job, lost my self respect, loss my self-esteem and was close to losing a roof over my head. I would gladly have drank myself to death and been OK with that just as long as I was drunk. That is because I'm not just a binge-drinker like the rest of them but I'm an alcoholic. When I accepted that then I could move forwards.
I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere, in my recovery. I was willing to accept that I had to dedicate my life to my recovery as without my recovery then drinking would kill me. I knew that and if it didn't kill me directly then i would end up in prison or a mental institution. I would then have nothing to live for but another blackout. I accepted that I was the problem and not the booze. I was going to have to experience a profound change in my attitude and outlook if i was to remain gratefully sober 'one day at a time'.
I knew I had to get out of the game and dedicate my life to my recovery. I accepted this and didn't want to feel so deeply unhappy anymore.
Getting sober was the best thing I ever did. I have totally rebuilt my life back up over the last 14 months 'one day at a time'. I make ammends to those close to me everyday that I'm sober and clean. I have the total trust of my family again, which feels great. I am literally a different person now to how I was back when I was still an active alcoholic, but I'l always be an akie! I'm OK with that and it means that I know the score on a daily basis. I'm also an addict too.
The only day I have to stay sober for is today. Just for today!
All The Best
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
I didn't end up puking everywhere or have anxiety before drinking, but I did pretty everything else you listed. We aren't physically addicted (in a day to day sense) but we have incredibly bad views about how drinking should be handled (drink until you are unable to continue) and our bodies are not able to stop after a certain point. What finally changed my mind was getting pulled over for driving, not the countless times before doing stupid $hit, pissing off people, generally strange and socially unacceptable behavior, waking up with no memory, injuries, angry g/f, angry parents, angry friends, etc.
Its not uncommon for young people like us to drink a lot, its also not uncommon for the excessive binge drinker to think everyone around them drinks to the same state. I know since I've stopped drinking and my friends continue that they are not nearly as drunk as I perceived them to be when I was drinking. We are adults and the excuse of "everyone else is doing it" doesn't fly anymore, we are responsible for our decisions. Drinking is a progressive problem and its much better and easier to acknowledge and deal with the problem now when its just a 1/2 day a week thing rather than lying to ourselves and waiting until its a 7 day a week habit. At that point the hole is much deeper and it gets that much harder to climb out.
You want to control the drinking, great, the hard part is realizing how you are going to do that. Right now it seems like you have an inability to moderate which means that to control your drinking...you shouldn't drink. The mentality you have developed towards drinking has come about over a long period of time, its not going to change overnight.
The whole going from drinking to not not drinking is not an easy mental transition, but thats what everyone here is going to say. If you want to continue drinking but attempt moderation I think you are going to fail unless you unlearn all your bad binging habits. I would suggest going the next month or two without drinking at all and see how you feel about it after. Try to understand that it's not that you "can't" drink, it's that you don't want to to avoid the problems it causes. If you can't do that and really think you can really drink 4 (and 4 std units, not 4 drinks w/ 4 shots each) and be done then just stick to that. If you feel uncomfortable doing that and always feel urges to get $hitfaced entirely...well then you know you have a problem and you are back to stopping. Being in situations where all people are doing is drinking and doing so heavily you should look for other things to do, that just feeds the binging behavior.
Its not uncommon for young people like us to drink a lot, its also not uncommon for the excessive binge drinker to think everyone around them drinks to the same state. I know since I've stopped drinking and my friends continue that they are not nearly as drunk as I perceived them to be when I was drinking. We are adults and the excuse of "everyone else is doing it" doesn't fly anymore, we are responsible for our decisions. Drinking is a progressive problem and its much better and easier to acknowledge and deal with the problem now when its just a 1/2 day a week thing rather than lying to ourselves and waiting until its a 7 day a week habit. At that point the hole is much deeper and it gets that much harder to climb out.
You want to control the drinking, great, the hard part is realizing how you are going to do that. Right now it seems like you have an inability to moderate which means that to control your drinking...you shouldn't drink. The mentality you have developed towards drinking has come about over a long period of time, its not going to change overnight.
The whole going from drinking to not not drinking is not an easy mental transition, but thats what everyone here is going to say. If you want to continue drinking but attempt moderation I think you are going to fail unless you unlearn all your bad binging habits. I would suggest going the next month or two without drinking at all and see how you feel about it after. Try to understand that it's not that you "can't" drink, it's that you don't want to to avoid the problems it causes. If you can't do that and really think you can really drink 4 (and 4 std units, not 4 drinks w/ 4 shots each) and be done then just stick to that. If you feel uncomfortable doing that and always feel urges to get $hitfaced entirely...well then you know you have a problem and you are back to stopping. Being in situations where all people are doing is drinking and doing so heavily you should look for other things to do, that just feeds the binging behavior.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community.....
You have many red flags of danger in your post
about your drinking.
You may have already lost the ability to control alcohol.
I sure did...and never knew exactly when.
BTW...moderate drinking according to the US
Center for Disease Control..is no more than
2 drinks per day for men...1 for women.
No you can not save" them up for a drunk.
Please read this link...blackouts are discussed
but do read the entire thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I'm glad you decided to join us
Many of us are winning over alcohol...
You have many red flags of danger in your post
about your drinking.
You may have already lost the ability to control alcohol.
I sure did...and never knew exactly when.
BTW...moderate drinking according to the US
Center for Disease Control..is no more than
2 drinks per day for men...1 for women.
No you can not save" them up for a drunk.
Please read this link...blackouts are discussed
but do read the entire thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I'm glad you decided to join us
Many of us are winning over alcohol...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by 15beatsperminut 
Now im so sick of my life. I am so afraid every time i drink. I am deathly afraid im going to get myself in trouble.
I still want to be able to go "out".
I am able to go out and have 4 without the need to get hammered or anything.
You've got so much going for you:
1. You're in grad school;
2. You're young;
3. You realize your drinking behavior needs to change.
You can go out and have 4 with everything being "OK"? I could too. But, how long until you binge and have 12 - 16?
Many of us thought the same thing - that we're in control. No, we're not.
Sounds like you want to stop "half-way" by continuing to drink 4 a night? Sorry, I don't see that working in the long run.
How will you prevent yourself from blacking out again?
If you want to stop for good, there's several ways to go about it. You've come to the right place.
Thanks for posting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Learning now, at your young age that you cannot regulate your intake is awesome. And knowing that it is not your fault, and it's truly a genetic/medical issue is even better at your age.
I had the same issues at your age as well, but I put them off as a self control problem and thought I should be able to moderate, and I was unable to for 27 years. Now i realize that moderation is something I can't do with regularity, so instead of guessing when the crazy nutt who has to prime the pump with a 12 pack before he really starts to party shows up I just decided drinking is not going to be part of my life, and it has made all of the difference.
I had the same issues at your age as well, but I put them off as a self control problem and thought I should be able to moderate, and I was unable to for 27 years. Now i realize that moderation is something I can't do with regularity, so instead of guessing when the crazy nutt who has to prime the pump with a 12 pack before he really starts to party shows up I just decided drinking is not going to be part of my life, and it has made all of the difference.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
The simple reality is that for an alcoholic then it's all or nothing. There is no middle ground.
I cannot comprehend drinking only a few pints or a glass of wine. I hear people at work say they're going tio have a glass of wine later and I think what would be the point of that? If I was drinking then I was drinking; all out messy, slurring, blackout is how I liked it. Anything else was just a tease, I would rather not bother unless I could get totally obliterated. I was totally powerless over alcohol and drugs once I put alcohol in my system. I would raid the fridge for more booze even when i couldn't stand or speak or see straight. I can't remeber this obviously but it was a certainty that all the booze in the house would be gone if I was drinking. I was hellbent on getting more wasted even when I was totally wasted. There was always room to get more wasted. I'm lucky I never choked on my own vomit or anything but remarkably I never used to vomit in my sleep. I was definately physically genetically made like an alcoholic too. I could hold ridiculous amounts of booze right from the beginning.
An alcoholic can never safely take a drink. Drinking or taking drugs is simply not an option for me 'just for today'.
Peace
I cannot comprehend drinking only a few pints or a glass of wine. I hear people at work say they're going tio have a glass of wine later and I think what would be the point of that? If I was drinking then I was drinking; all out messy, slurring, blackout is how I liked it. Anything else was just a tease, I would rather not bother unless I could get totally obliterated. I was totally powerless over alcohol and drugs once I put alcohol in my system. I would raid the fridge for more booze even when i couldn't stand or speak or see straight. I can't remeber this obviously but it was a certainty that all the booze in the house would be gone if I was drinking. I was hellbent on getting more wasted even when I was totally wasted. There was always room to get more wasted. I'm lucky I never choked on my own vomit or anything but remarkably I never used to vomit in my sleep. I was definately physically genetically made like an alcoholic too. I could hold ridiculous amounts of booze right from the beginning.
An alcoholic can never safely take a drink. Drinking or taking drugs is simply not an option for me 'just for today'.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 56
neo i could have written that exact post.
15bpm i am the same age as you(well 22) and i have been struggling on and off with this since i was 13 and i just refused to accept its a problem but now i do and i see full well where i will end up if i continue on that road and plan to fight it with everything i have.
15bpm i am the same age as you(well 22) and i have been struggling on and off with this since i was 13 and i just refused to accept its a problem but now i do and i see full well where i will end up if i continue on that road and plan to fight it with everything i have.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
I think there may have been some confusion in my post. i do not drink everyday. i drink once a week and i wrote the 4 drinks seems where I can control my drinking, past that i am done.
I can have a beer with dinner and wine, I almost never have it. Maybe one a year I will have a drink with dinner if I am with the family. The problem comes when i seem to get the mind set. I want to get F'd up. and i will get *********.
But my main concern is the after feelings. I have so much guilt and fear after I drink, what did i do....what did i say... and more importantly i feel absolutely embarrassed.
My main problem is it seems everyone my age gets **** faced? Every time my friends go out they get completely hammered, am i the only one who just feels bad after? I dont even know how others act at bars because i am usually so blacked out I dont remember.....
Do people normally just grow out of this stage (this might be a loaded question because this is an alcoholic forum so people who grew out of this prob. wouldnt post here....)
How do I control this drinking? I need to find "moderation" .....
another reason i found that i drink so heavily is, one im drunk i seem to get so many girls when im sober i still get them but not to the extent. I also am scared after one night stands because alcohol doesnt make me think straight as far as protection is concerned, so i guess its a 50/50 benefit
I can have a beer with dinner and wine, I almost never have it. Maybe one a year I will have a drink with dinner if I am with the family. The problem comes when i seem to get the mind set. I want to get F'd up. and i will get *********.
But my main concern is the after feelings. I have so much guilt and fear after I drink, what did i do....what did i say... and more importantly i feel absolutely embarrassed.
My main problem is it seems everyone my age gets **** faced? Every time my friends go out they get completely hammered, am i the only one who just feels bad after? I dont even know how others act at bars because i am usually so blacked out I dont remember.....
Do people normally just grow out of this stage (this might be a loaded question because this is an alcoholic forum so people who grew out of this prob. wouldnt post here....)
How do I control this drinking? I need to find "moderation" .....
another reason i found that i drink so heavily is, one im drunk i seem to get so many girls when im sober i still get them but not to the extent. I also am scared after one night stands because alcohol doesnt make me think straight as far as protection is concerned, so i guess its a 50/50 benefit
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Originally Posted by 15beatsperminut
My main problem is it seems everyone my age gets **** faced? Every time my friends go out they get completely hammered, am i the only one who just feels bad after? I dont even know how others act at bars because i am usually so blacked out I dont remember.....
I didn't misunderstand your original post. I get that you only drink on weekends, or once a week, or just when you go out with friends. That is how I started.
I have learrned that blackouts aren't normal.
go figure.That is why i know now that i drank alcoholically back then, even though i went most of the week without drinking, not even a drink with dinner. I suppose in hindsight, i didn't drink a glass of wine or two with dinner, because it didn't get me where i wanted to go. and i didn't want to go there every night. Not yet.
I don't know if you have a problem with alcohol or not, if you are an alcoholic or not. I just cannot tell you that. I certainly didn't realize when i was your age drinking like i did. I realize it now. and i wish i would have stopped then. Maybe it wouldn't be so dam hard now.
I will say, however, if it is causing you guilt and remorse, it certainly is not enhancing your life. Besides, you are obviously not being carefully sexually, and bringing a baby into the world is a huge thing, and a forever thing.
Just food for thought.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
most certainly agree ^^....
i need to stop blacking out. I need to stop getting drunk beyond my control (getting in trouble could end my career...).
My question is what are some steps that I can use to control my drinking (besides stopping). I want to train myself to enjoy my time out. Get a decent buzz stay in control and still enjoy going out.
Has anyone successfully controlled there drinking. What are some steps you took? Ive tried to just take out X amount of money but it results in me blowing through that and than getting out the c.c. ....
i need to stop blacking out. I need to stop getting drunk beyond my control (getting in trouble could end my career...).
My question is what are some steps that I can use to control my drinking (besides stopping). I want to train myself to enjoy my time out. Get a decent buzz stay in control and still enjoy going out.
Has anyone successfully controlled there drinking. What are some steps you took? Ive tried to just take out X amount of money but it results in me blowing through that and than getting out the c.c. ....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
15 beats.. .
I think most, if not all, of us here will tell you that we would love to be able to tell you how to control your drinking. the reason we are alcoholics is that we cannot. We have tried. God knows we have tried. I tried for 27 years. . .well, most of the time i didn't really try. .. but i have tried for a long time. I can drink moderately. I don't like it. It isn't enough. It is never enough and i don't enjoy it. I think the entire time how much I wish I were drinking more. And i can do it for a while. Hell, I can stop drinking for a period of time. And i can go back to it and drink moderately. ..for a while. But it always ends the same.
If you are not an alcoholic, you can control it. You will be able to just cut yourself off and be okay with it. And you won't black out, and you won't do things you regret and know you wouldn't have done but for the booze. If you are an alcoholic, well, that road only leads to one place.
I wish I could be more help to you, but that is the truth for an alcoholic.
I think most, if not all, of us here will tell you that we would love to be able to tell you how to control your drinking. the reason we are alcoholics is that we cannot. We have tried. God knows we have tried. I tried for 27 years. . .well, most of the time i didn't really try. .. but i have tried for a long time. I can drink moderately. I don't like it. It isn't enough. It is never enough and i don't enjoy it. I think the entire time how much I wish I were drinking more. And i can do it for a while. Hell, I can stop drinking for a period of time. And i can go back to it and drink moderately. ..for a while. But it always ends the same.
If you are not an alcoholic, you can control it. You will be able to just cut yourself off and be okay with it. And you won't black out, and you won't do things you regret and know you wouldn't have done but for the booze. If you are an alcoholic, well, that road only leads to one place.
I wish I could be more help to you, but that is the truth for an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 25
Hey,
You're definitely not alone. I'm 27 and I'm struggling with sobriety right now myself. I drank only one day in the past week, but guess what? I told myself I would "take it easy". The next thing I remember I'm walking down to the store to grab a pint of booze.
I am not happy about that night obviously. I'm accepting now that for awhile at least, I won't be able to drink moderately, so I need to get sober and healthy for a couple months.
I never get into any trouble when I drink, as I do most of my hard drinking alone. So, we're a little different on that front but we still have a hard time stopping. I wish you well in making a good step forward!
You're definitely not alone. I'm 27 and I'm struggling with sobriety right now myself. I drank only one day in the past week, but guess what? I told myself I would "take it easy". The next thing I remember I'm walking down to the store to grab a pint of booze.
I am not happy about that night obviously. I'm accepting now that for awhile at least, I won't be able to drink moderately, so I need to get sober and healthy for a couple months.
I never get into any trouble when I drink, as I do most of my hard drinking alone. So, we're a little different on that front but we still have a hard time stopping. I wish you well in making a good step forward!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
15beats,
You sound exactly like me years ago! I had the same patterns as you! I didn't drink every day and at the beginning I could have a glass of wine here and there. When I did over-indulge, the feelings of guilt and shame were just awful.
In the beginning, I just wanted to learn how to control my drinking, to drink in moderation. The problem was, I always wanted to get drunk. I only drank to get to the point of passing out.
I hope you'll stick around SR. It took me a long time to figure out that alcohol was the real problem for me. I have over two and half years sober now. It feels good to not give myself reasons to get drunk.
Love,
Lenina
You sound exactly like me years ago! I had the same patterns as you! I didn't drink every day and at the beginning I could have a glass of wine here and there. When I did over-indulge, the feelings of guilt and shame were just awful.
In the beginning, I just wanted to learn how to control my drinking, to drink in moderation. The problem was, I always wanted to get drunk. I only drank to get to the point of passing out.
I hope you'll stick around SR. It took me a long time to figure out that alcohol was the real problem for me. I have over two and half years sober now. It feels good to not give myself reasons to get drunk.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by 15beatsperminut
I think there may have been some confusion in my post. i do not drink everyday. i drink once a week and i wrote the 4 drinks seems where I can control my drinking, past that i am done.
I can have a beer with dinner and wine, I almost never have it. Maybe one a year I will have a drink with dinner if I am with the family. The problem comes when i seem to get the mind set. I want to get F'd up. and i will get *********.
But my main concern is the after feelings. I have so much guilt and fear after I drink, what did i do....what did i say... and more importantly i feel absolutely embarrassed.
My main problem is it seems everyone my age gets **** faced? Every time my friends go out they get completely hammered, am i the only one who just feels bad after? I dont even know how others act at bars because i am usually so blacked out I dont remember.....
Do people normally just grow out of this stage (this might be a loaded question because this is an alcoholic forum so people who grew out of this prob. wouldnt post here....)
How do I control this drinking? I need to find "moderation" .....
another reason i found that i drink so heavily is, one im drunk i seem to get so many girls when im sober i still get them but not to the extent. I also am scared after one night stands because alcohol doesnt make me think straight as far as protection is concerned, so i guess its a 50/50 benefit
I can have a beer with dinner and wine, I almost never have it. Maybe one a year I will have a drink with dinner if I am with the family. The problem comes when i seem to get the mind set. I want to get F'd up. and i will get *********.
But my main concern is the after feelings. I have so much guilt and fear after I drink, what did i do....what did i say... and more importantly i feel absolutely embarrassed.
My main problem is it seems everyone my age gets **** faced? Every time my friends go out they get completely hammered, am i the only one who just feels bad after? I dont even know how others act at bars because i am usually so blacked out I dont remember.....
Do people normally just grow out of this stage (this might be a loaded question because this is an alcoholic forum so people who grew out of this prob. wouldnt post here....)
How do I control this drinking? I need to find "moderation" .....
another reason i found that i drink so heavily is, one im drunk i seem to get so many girls when im sober i still get them but not to the extent. I also am scared after one night stands because alcohol doesnt make me think straight as far as protection is concerned, so i guess its a 50/50 benefit
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
There is a program....Moderation Management
Please Google for the link.
Last I noticed....they do say they are not for alcoholics
and they do ask people to quit for 1 month
before trying their method.
Perhaps that would work for you.....I
At leest you would stop blacking out for a month
and cut out your very risky sexual activities.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Originally Posted by 15beatsperminut
most certainly agree ^^....
i need to stop blacking out. I need to stop getting drunk beyond my control (getting in trouble could end my career...).
My question is what are some steps that I can use to control my drinking (besides stopping). I want to train myself to enjoy my time out. Get a decent buzz stay in control and still enjoy going out.
Has anyone successfully controlled there drinking. What are some steps you took? Ive tried to just take out X amount of money but it results in me blowing through that and than getting out the c.c. ....
i need to stop blacking out. I need to stop getting drunk beyond my control (getting in trouble could end my career...).
My question is what are some steps that I can use to control my drinking (besides stopping). I want to train myself to enjoy my time out. Get a decent buzz stay in control and still enjoy going out.
Has anyone successfully controlled there drinking. What are some steps you took? Ive tried to just take out X amount of money but it results in me blowing through that and than getting out the c.c. ....
The black outs occur because of some physical difference inside the body that makes your body handle memory formation different than 'normal' people, even at the same level of consumption. I know my one friend could drink the same amount I would and would remember everything while I would remember nothing. There was a medical journal I read once where they tested 100 alcoholics in a lab setting in a battery of memory tests before and after drinking. They found that there is a variation in the amount remember by different individuals.
If you want to go for moderation you need to unlearn all the binging drinking behaviors you have learned over the past number of years. To do this I don't think you will be able to go from binge directly to moderation. I think you will need to go from current to completely sober for a period of time (lose your tolerance, forget your drinking habits), then after then try again under a very much slower pace. Its a very tricky path and honestly you sound like me so I'm really thinking you are going to fail. You are unable to know where exactly the point is where you need to stop (else you want to drink w/o stop) and yet you still want to feel the effects, very dangerous combination.
I think there is really only two options, sobriety/near sobriety (HARD 1/2 drink limit never to be exceeded, no buzz generation, pick good beer, drink slowly) or continue getting $hitfaced drunk (maybe won't happen every time, but enough times to be a problem).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: U.K.
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
The simple reality is that for an alcoholic then it's all or nothing. There is no middle ground.
I cannot comprehend drinking only a few pints or a glass of wine. I hear people at work say they're going tio have a glass of wine later and I think what would be the point of that? If I was drinking then I was drinking; all out messy, slurring, blackout is how I liked it. Anything else was just a tease, I would rather not bother unless I could get totally obliterated. I was totally powerless over alcohol and drugs once I put alcohol in my system. I would raid the fridge for more booze even when i couldn't stand or speak or see straight. I can't remeber this obviously but it was a certainty that all the booze in the house would be gone if I was drinking. I was hellbent on getting more wasted even when I was totally wasted. There was always room to get more wasted. I'm lucky I never choked on my own vomit or anything but remarkably I never used to vomit in my sleep. I was definately physically genetically made like an alcoholic too. I could hold ridiculous amounts of booze right from the beginning.
An alcoholic can never safely take a drink. Drinking or taking drugs is simply not an option for me 'just for today'.
Peace
I cannot comprehend drinking only a few pints or a glass of wine. I hear people at work say they're going tio have a glass of wine later and I think what would be the point of that? If I was drinking then I was drinking; all out messy, slurring, blackout is how I liked it. Anything else was just a tease, I would rather not bother unless I could get totally obliterated. I was totally powerless over alcohol and drugs once I put alcohol in my system. I would raid the fridge for more booze even when i couldn't stand or speak or see straight. I can't remeber this obviously but it was a certainty that all the booze in the house would be gone if I was drinking. I was hellbent on getting more wasted even when I was totally wasted. There was always room to get more wasted. I'm lucky I never choked on my own vomit or anything but remarkably I never used to vomit in my sleep. I was definately physically genetically made like an alcoholic too. I could hold ridiculous amounts of booze right from the beginning.
An alcoholic can never safely take a drink. Drinking or taking drugs is simply not an option for me 'just for today'.
Peace
I tried to drink normally but I just cant, I can recall very easily, times where I'd be in a bar and sweating 'cause I needed more to drink but those friends around me didn't, or wanted to leave. Worse still was not having any alcohol at home and being held back from getting to the store before they stopped serving booze.
It's horrible and torture being so tied to what is effectively liquid in a bottle.
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