Focus29

Good afternoon everyone.. I am new to all this and hope I am starting out in the right forum, if not please guide me. I am twelve days sober today. I must say that I really am not having any "physical" problems, thank God!! I have been drinking since around 2003 till now, in fact it has gotten worse around 2007 on. My drink of choice was good ol Southern Comfort, if that was not available any thing would do, sad I know. I had to go to the Dr. a couple weeks ago for a side issue and my blood pressure was way up there and scared me, in fact I came clean to my Dr. about the drinking and he said right away the high bp was a result of that. I have been to the Dr. before and have been warned about it, but just kept up the drinking and pretended that it didn't exist. For some reason this time scared me and I told myself right then and there that I need to change my life before I am in over my head, some would say I have already been way over my head. Drinking has caused me to gain way to much weight and just not care about my health in general. I do care now. In this short amount of time I have lost 16lbs and have been eating much better foods and walking every other night, in fact the blood pressure has come way down, not normal yet, but getting there. The one thing that I am having a hard time with is this constant feeling of "dread", I am not even sure if that makes any sense, maybe its just depression I am not sure. Just waking up everyday knowing that I am not going to drink feels weird, everything I did in life involved alcohol, coming home from work now, doing things without drinking is a strange alien feeling, I am scared and I am not even sure what I am scared about!! I know I am probably rambling here but just need to express how I felt and this seemed like the perfect place, thanks all, I look forward to your responses...

tooling

Hey there! I am new here too. My drinking years are right about the same as yours. I am 5 weeks sober now.

The 'dread' feeling - It's with me too. To be honest every weekend has been getting harder to avoid it. I will not give in, but I just want the low lifeless feeling of boredom to go away and i know getting drunk will do away with it. But then I think "no it won't. Because I will wake up the next day and need it again."

I have to tell myself I can't go on living with this stuff in my blood all day. My blood pressure was through the roof! I can't go back there no matter HOW BORING my life is right now or how depressed I am.

It's flat out sucks!!!!!! But I have no choice . Except life is different or have horrible health and die much quicker.

I hope you hang out and chat, you seem like you are in the same boat as me. Well, we all kind of are. Some here are doing the AA thing while others do it alone. I chose alone.

I sat here all day just trying to keep busy. I went to best buy and some other vitamins stores. I play some video games, whatever it takes to take my mind off of my OLD life. Some people can drink a little here and there on the weekends but i can't. because I am the type of person that can wake up and crack open a beer and start gaming online and have a blast. Take a nap and drink until dark. It's terrible.

Take it easy man and don't give in.

Mojo sent man, if I have any left.

Time for bed.

least

Welcome to SR! I had a lot of anxiety after quitting and it took a while to go away. If you're still feeling a sense of doom and/or depression after a while longer, please see a doctor.

Congrats on your sober time and your healthier lifestyle.

cheesegrits

Good for all of you. One of the things I noticed after being sober for some time were higher levels of perception. Also the anxiety does go away. I remember having anxiety attacks while I was a drinker. Now, whole different story. Sobriety has brought peace of mind. I wish the same for all of you. Strangely enough, I've found life to be the biggest high of them all.

julez

Hey Focus, it was nice meeting you last night in chat! Welcome to the forums. I definitely went through the "what now" phase where I couldnt imagine never drinking again. In early sobriety, life DOES seem boring, but I swear, that feeling goes away, and you will be so happy. You're doing great, just keep it up!

CarolD

Focus....Welcome ..

Congratulations on chooseing to have a future.
Sounds as tho you are off to a positive beginning.


Here is a link you might want to check out

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

All my best ... glad you are here

Supercrew

The whole thought of boredom and what to do if you are not drinking was a huge deterent for me quitting drinking for a very long time. I was scared because everything I did, in my mind, revolved around getting drunk, because that is what I had done for the better part of 27 years. Go out to eat, get drunk, go to the movies, get drunk, go to a concert, get drunk, go to the ballgame, get drunk, go to a friends house, get drunk, come home from work, get drunk, do yardwork, get drunk, sitting at my computer, get drunk. It is all I did and all I looked forward to. It was depressing to think about life without it.

The reality was it was all in my head. I'm finding out that although the booze might have been great fun in my younger years, I never matured to see what life could be like sober, and I wasn't willing to see.

Now I have seen that what I was dreading was really not that big of a deal. I have been in every situation you can think of drunk, and now I am doing most of them sober, and they are alot more fun. I really never needed alcohol to have fun, but being that I learned it so young and I continued it for such a long time it was something I never wanted to question.

Well everything I do is sober now, and I am enjoying life immensely, and I remember the following day, and I'm healthier than I have been in 20 years. Life without alcohol has been the best thing that has happened to me, and it is nothing to be scared or depressed about.

Brucel

Welcome. Glad to hear you are not hurting too bad. Hope to see you around.

Kerbcrawler

being sober in early days was alien to most here..would think,fear of the unknown unfamiliar territory takes a little gettin used too, you hear it said many times here..like gosh ive got so much time on my hands, the days are now so long...i would say a chance to get into to all those projects and hobbies you only dreamt about drunk,but were incapable of doing..and fulfill yourself with them,you soon forget about the drinking for the most part, and find a new fulfillment and satisfaction...naturally on lifes terms... and fully in charge.

Toronto68

Good for you. This dread you are having might change in another 12 or 24 days to elation or some other more positive sensation. I don't know if dread is the term for what I used to have. When I quit for a couple of brief stints in the past - as well as when I did at the end of last year - I had a sense of guilt during the initial month. As time passes, the emotions draw back and are replaced with the confidence you can get out of facing another day. That's how I remember my experience.

The walking also sounds good. That's been important for me.

For some people there is a depression that emerges after quitting and it reaches its height between 3 and 6 months and could last longer. Of course it depends on the individual's mental health aside from alcohol (some people might have been depressed without the alcohol, which made it worse). So if you do gain more strength and happiness as the days roll on, and I would hope so, I would say it's important not to let the confusion over depression get to you. I have been confused in my case - very happy with the change, yet depressed on another level. Due to my laziness, I have not had it looked into, but it could be that I need to be on meds. But I am contending with things alone, without them.

Something that gave me strength was to recognize that the problem was with me for life, just like a disease. For some reason that made it more within my reach to maintain the change I made. The foreignness of not drinking will still astound you once in a while, if your experience is like mine, but not in a way that makes you anxious; just a "wow" to yourself. The habits we keep and how we spend our energy mentally and physically all interlace and become something very significant. In other words, if it is important to you to maintain the walks, then you would possibly have a "religious" feeling about making sure you held yourself to that, like you were devoted to it. Same with other things we improved or added to our lives now that alcohol is not there to gouge ourselves with.

Focus29

I want to thank everyone for the the support and kind words. I am doing pretty good, taking it a day at a time. Today is my 2 week mark, yippee!! Its funny now that I have stopped drinking I am more worried about my health then any other time, never cared when I was drowning in alcohol. I go in tomorrow for blood work, and it has me scared to death to be honest. I guess its best to know if something is wrong then to go on and pretend it's all ok. I have thought of blowing it off, but my wife keeps encouraging me to just get it over with and see were I stand. I will have to wait a week to see the Doc and discuss what comes up. I wouldn't be surprised if my liver enzymes were up, but I heard that in time and no drinking, and on damage, that they would return to normal, we shall see. I need to pull myself away from the internet and all the horror stories of what could "happen". I am actually feeling pretty good physically. I just need to lay off Google and searching liver disease. I guess the fact that I am not drinking anymore is the best thing I could of done for my body. Send good thoughts my way and if so inclined maybe a prayer...

CarolD

Yes....facing fears and workinf on overcomeing them
is something I've found to be easier with sobriety.

Prayers for your healing and peace.

Good to know you are doing well
Way to go on your 2 weeks.....

Blessings to you and your family