Getting ready to say goodbye.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Gofish,
I'm so glad there is a ray of hope. I second everything DayTrader said. One of the most difficult things I ever did was to walk out on my second husband when he went back to drinking after almost dying of the disease. So far as I know, he is still alive, eleven years later, and still drinking. It's very hard.
I'm so glad there is a ray of hope. I second everything DayTrader said. One of the most difficult things I ever did was to walk out on my second husband when he went back to drinking after almost dying of the disease. So far as I know, he is still alive, eleven years later, and still drinking. It's very hard.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by justjo 
How are things going Gofish?
JJ
JJ
Thanks
2
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
Well done on your two years, gofish. I know this is a nightmarish time. Go easy on yourself when possible, though. You know by now that the only person whose behavior you can control is your own. Do the best you can and let your higher power (if you have one) take care of the rest.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Gofish, this is the first time I had seen this thread, first I want to congratulate you for your 2 years, one day at a time. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Praying that maybe God can find a way to your wife.
The one thing I know for sure is, the only one I can save is myself.
Take care and God be with you.
Harry
The one thing I know for sure is, the only one I can save is myself.
Take care and God be with you.
Harry
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((GoFish))) - Congratulations on 2 years!!! I'm also very glad that you have stepped back from the situation. It's hard to do, but it keeps us from being dragged down with them.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
Update.
I just spoke with my Mother in law and she took my wife to a womans shelter downtown. My wife has been very verbally abusive to my mother in law and her neice the last few weeks, she has not stopped drinking either. At the shelter they realized that she was drunk so they tried to get her a bed at a detox and while she was waiting she continued to drink, they tried to take away the alcohol and my wife became physically abusive so the police and ambulance have been called. My mother in law is heart broken, we both realize that the next step is the streets but we are powerless to help. What a mess.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
Gofish, I'm sending a virtual hug to you because I know you need it. I don't have any wise words or anything that will automatically make you feel better. I just want to offer you my support.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If they can get her into the local crisis unit, they might be able to get her into a detox from there.
So sorry you are all going through this--including her. She isn't in her right mind right now.
So sorry you are all going through this--including her. She isn't in her right mind right now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by LexieCat
If they can get her into the local crisis unit, they might be able to get her into a detox from there.
So sorry you are all going through this--including her. She isn't in her right mind right now.
So sorry you are all going through this--including her. She isn't in her right mind right now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
So how much do I put in?
O.K.
My wife has been sober since being taken to the shelter by her Mom 3 days ago. She was charged by the police with various drinking in public charges and taken to the hospital and found her way back to her Mom's that night. Now she wants answers, "when I finish rehab can I come home, if not I want a divorce and alimoney." My answer was lets get you into treatment first before we deal with the after part! I got hung up on.
Treatment was supposed to be a year in a sober living community, my Mother in law said that my wife was refused! I was told last week she was on a waiting list??
O.K.
Treatment is now going to be a 28 day residential program and then? This will be her 4th time in this type of program, she bailed once. She has also taken part in out patient programs, 3 ,4 5 ?? times. I can not make a commitment to live together when she hasn't done anything except stop drinking! I realize that she is in the pattern for day 3, remorse is over and now the manic solveing of all the problems has begun.
Groundhog day was a very funny movie but it makes for a horrible life!
My wife has been sober since being taken to the shelter by her Mom 3 days ago. She was charged by the police with various drinking in public charges and taken to the hospital and found her way back to her Mom's that night. Now she wants answers, "when I finish rehab can I come home, if not I want a divorce and alimoney." My answer was lets get you into treatment first before we deal with the after part! I got hung up on.
Treatment was supposed to be a year in a sober living community, my Mother in law said that my wife was refused! I was told last week she was on a waiting list??
O.K.
Treatment is now going to be a 28 day residential program and then? This will be her 4th time in this type of program, she bailed once. She has also taken part in out patient programs, 3 ,4 5 ?? times. I can not make a commitment to live together when she hasn't done anything except stop drinking! I realize that she is in the pattern for day 3, remorse is over and now the manic solveing of all the problems has begun.
Groundhog day was a very funny movie but it makes for a horrible life!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Sorry, gofish,
It DOES suck, but you know the drill. Unfortunately, you know it all too well.
She has to cooperate in the process, unless she can be committed. Have you looked into that as a possible option? I don't know how difficult it might be. Might be worth getting some legal advice.
It DOES suck, but you know the drill. Unfortunately, you know it all too well.
She has to cooperate in the process, unless she can be committed. Have you looked into that as a possible option? I don't know how difficult it might be. Might be worth getting some legal advice.
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