gofish1331

This is the message I just sent to my 3 grown kids.

Hi.
I just came from seeing your Mother at Grandma’s. She has been beaten up pretty bad, stitches, burns, scars and swelling. We need to accept that she will not be alive much longer. Grandma is trying to get her to stop drinking long enough to get into a program, Friday, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. The alcohol has caused her to be bloated and swollen and her organs are starting to shut down. I am very sorry. I love you very much.
Dad.

I have been sober for, well it will be two years on the 17th of September, I stopped and my wife of 24 years did not. She moved out 5 months ago, and she also admitted today to cheating on me, a condom fell out of her purse. All I can think about is ...... obviously, drinking.

SSIL75

That is so terribly sad.

I'm so glad that you will be a sober source of comfort for your children. They'll need it.

LexieCat

I'm so sorry, Patrick,

It is a horrible disease. I'm not sure whether you're in AA, but even if you're not, maybe it would be good to go and be around other sober people right now. You don't want to throw your own sobriety away.

lildawg

(((hugs)))

Man, reading that made me so sad. I can only imagine how you must feel.

If you want to drink, play the record all the way through. The first few drinks will feel good. You'll wonder why you quit. Then, you'll start to say things you shouldn't say (probably in front of people you shouldn't say them in front of). Then, you'll stagger around, and the people who love you will be embarrassed for you. Then, you'll start to realize you screwed up before you pass out. Then, in the morning, as your heart and head pound, you'll that you can't take it back.

Your situation would make the most stoic of us want to drink. However, your family will need you to be strong for them. Sometimes, the only thought that stops me from picking up a 5th of scotch is that I'll make myself into a liability to my family. I know if I can just make it through the worst part, it'll be okay. I'll be glad I stayed sober.

I second Lexie's suggestion to go to an AA meeting. At least you could be around other alcoholics who will understand how you feel.

Impurrfect

(((Gofish))) - I'm so sorry.

My XABF continued to use drugs, after I quit (and left him) and he died in Dec. Far from making me want to use, it strengthened my resolve to stay clean and LIVE my life. I hope, whatever happens, you keep your recovery a priority, and that you have some good support, around you. We are here for you, but it does help to have f2f support.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

My prayers go out to you and your family gofish 1331.

D

CarolD

I certainly hope you will continue to stay sober
during this t sad and difficult time....
Don't add to this tragedy please.

Prayers for you and your family

Charmie

prayers for you and your family.
you have come this far,dont let your kids lose another parent in this way.
keep on.

Sasha4

Gosh how sad. I am so so sorry for all you are going through.

Was she in an accident that caused some of her injuries?

I hope that you have lots of people who love you looking after you.
I am sure that you have lots of people that love you as you sound like a really caring individual.

xx

rws177

This is really sad, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes I forget how deadly this disease really is. I hope that you stay sober, your kids surely need you.

joey8262

that's fookin tragic mate-goes to show the dangers in the bottom of a glass-do yourself-go and be with someone who can support YOU at this time-if you hit the bottle then as it's already been said-you'll be no use to anyone-and you'll have destroyed 2 years' hard work-is it really worth it for a hangover tomorrow morning ?

as already asked, where did the cuts/stitches etc come from ? some sort of accident ? I couldn't imagine being in your position right now friend, but you have the support of all of us.

hope things improve-keep us posted.

joey.

julez

Oh my, how awfully sad. I am so very sorry for you and your family. Please keep us posted and let us support you. Come into the chat room if you need to talk. Stay close to the important people in your life, and be strong for yourself and your family.

STAY4EVER

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please don't drink...surround yourself with people that don't drink. Think of all the positive changes in your life the past two years and the negative ones in your wife's life. You have come so far and your kids need a parent. Take care.

gofish1331

The cuts and bruises appear to be from her being abused. She moved out of our home about 5 months ago and moved in with her Mom, I wouldn't allow alcohol in our house. She was kicked out by her Mom last week and spent a few days in backyards and hospitals, it looks like someone hurt her. That's what makes this horrible, I am racked with guilt because I'm not stepping in, She needs to "bottom out" and if living on the street doesn't do it.... well.

We drank together for years, loved and fought, grew up together, married at 17 & 18, I basically grew up in her family's house.
3 kids, 1 grandchild and 15 years of sporadic bing drinking, every 3 - 9 months, and here we are today figureing out funeral costs because she doesn't seem to have a bottom....

justjo

Any luck with the rehab for friday? Where is she now?

artsoul

Prayers going out to you and your family........ I'm so glad your children have at least one sober parent. I'm sure you are suffering a great deal from this and hope that you can get some support for yourself (we're always ready to listen, too). Hang in there.:ghug3

gofish1331

Her Mom will let her stay if she stays sober, the assesment is not till next week and then they have to accept her, it's a sober living community, 1 year. I hope she doesn't drink or have another seizure before getting admitted.

justjo

Lets pray she makes until then. I know the pain of all of this gofish, similar for my family. She is a very sick lady right now, have mercy and cross fingers.
JJ

DayTrader

Man..... I don't even have words.... and I'm usually full of 'em.

I TRULY commend you for what you've done so far. Dealing with the guilt, wanting to get loaded, the constant questions, all that stuff......yet you haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink. THAT'S something to be congratulated for.

For what it's worth, I can't imagine what thinking you may have had a hand in what happened feels like - I haven't had that experience (yet).....but from where I sit, you may have said the words but she forced the issue. I was taught early on by one of the ppl I MOST respect in AA to "never be so egocentric as to believe you should deny someone the pain they're demanding." Those words have stuck with me...and I truly have a hard time following them sometimes - often to my detriment and to the detriment of the person I think I'm helping. It's one of those areas in which I still have a lot of growing up to do. The "right" and the "necessary" things we have to do often feel horrible at the time.....but I think you made the right decision.

gofish1331

All your prayers and well wishes are working! Today was a good day. I spoke to my wife and she is detoxing, she has some help "pills" from our doctor, a seizure would not help matters! The assesment is set for next thursday and I am going to bring over some groceries and $ for her Mom to help out tomorrow.
Thanks for the food for thought daytrader "never be so egocentric as to believe you should deny someone the pain they're demanding." Wow, thats deep on a lot of levels, really makes you look back in "hard" at yourself. Thank you very much.