hollybear

So the end of today will mark 7 days sober again for me after my last relapse. Happily, I'm feeling much calmer this time around. And the cravings are almost non existent for the past couple days... Yay!
At this point, I'm very much realizing I'm going to have to face my demons if I want to stay sober. They are the reason I started to drink in the first place... To dull the emotional pain. Now that I'm feeling the emotions again, I know I have to face them head on to get better!
The problem I'm running into is that it's easier said than done... And I'm not quite sure where to start.
Therapy/counseling isn't an option for me, because I actually have a degree in psychology and work as a youth counselor in an outpatient program (ironic, I know. It's actually more common than you think! lol) I just know the politics, and ins and outs of therapy too much to find genuine comfort in it. I'm also not religious. So things like AA and prayer are not for me.
Any suggestions?? Sorry for the long novel lol But I could really use some ideas on how to battle it out with myself once and for all and start healing from the inside out.
Thanks for listening. You have no idea how much support you guys on this site have been to me through this!!

24hrsAday

holly A.A. is Not a Religious Program.. it Has Helped Me Greatly With Working out My own Core issues. if You Keep an Open Mind i Think You May Be Surprised! What Have You Got To Lose?

Chakra

I'm not religious either, am also on day 7 and going to try an AA meeting at noon today. I too, thought it was religious and was not going to go but why not give it a shot? My sobriety is worth it and so is yours.

My GP (also recovering) said something impactful to me. He said that its ok to feel the anxiety and emotion and work through them. How else would we be inspired to make positive changes in our lives. I took that as, stop being a candy ass and put down the drink! Emotions may sometimes suck but they won't kill us, unless we let them.

CarolD

Well done....

LaFemme

Congrats! I have heard that a lot of people with pysch degrees get them in order to figure out their own problems.

For me and my emotions and problems (which I also drank to avoid) I am reading self-help books. They help me to get a different take on things. Right now that is working for me.

Good luck!

loveon2legs

Hi Hollybear....
You may want to try a Smart Recovery program if AA doesn't appeal to you , I myself like LaFemme, haven't done any professional, or any programm mostly I read alot of books, be in nature as much as I can..and count my blessings....and of course come here to SR!!
xo

LexieCat

AA isn't a religious program. It is a spiritual program, despite the use of the word "God". The program defines God as whatever higher power you rely upon to restore your sanity.

I am an agnostic, and I think of my higher power as the universe, reality as it actually IS, and learning to live in harmony with that reality rather than battling it.

There are other good programs besides AA--AA works for me.

BullDog777

i don't know what "demons" i have left to face....all the things i drank over have already happend to me.

i think the biggest thing i do besides the spiritual part of the program is avoidance of things that remind me of the days i had when i did drink.

example: i've lost alot of loved ones, and i have PTSD.(post traumatic stress)

So i avoid music/movies, places/things that make me remember those feelings of self destruction in the wake of those losses. i can turn from happy and cheerful to very very dark and self destructive in the drop of a hat if i get triggered, so i do alot of work to stay in a good place.

i got triggered about a week ago, and i was in a funk for 3 days. it sucked ass. it took my wife looking at me and seeing i was starting to withdrawal emotionally and say, "what the hell is wrong with you?" before i had to ask myself the same question, and move on to more pleasant current thoughts. i dunno if that made any sense, but i guess what i'm saying is you don't always get rid of the demons that made you drink...sometimes you just learn to live with them.

Suzie12

Hiya Holly

Grtz on your 7 days well done. I am now on my ninth day of recovery, after relapsing after 3 years sober. I am focusing on other activites, I enrolled on a language course which is part-time and I am very excited about this, there is considerable study to do at home as well so that is taking up a lot of my time. I am also following a healthy living plan which is also exciting and I can notice a change in my body and energy levels already. This involves exercise and cooking from scratch which takes up time.

I also spend any spare time I have reading/posting on here, before falling into bed exhausted, but excited and happy. I dont know whether it would suit everyone but I have filled up my day time activites so I do not have time to drink or even think about it.

I just realised today that it is 16.50 and I didnt even glance at the clock once today and think, great only another 2 hours before I can have a drink.:rotfxko

I think that maybe doing some constuctive activities is giving me confidence that yeah I can actually do something.


Good luck hun x

sleepie

Engage in some buddhist meditation. It's a practice, not a religion- so maybe it would help. In the past I have found it very useful as a way to navigate through difficult situations. I began at a zen temple. I am not religious either, so it was a good fit. On another note, as far as facing demons- I, like many, still feel the scars of an abusive past. One very unexpected thing happened after I took a meditation course- I actually had some very nice memories pop into my head. It was comforting to recall that every moment wasn't a living nightmare back then. Good luck and take care.

GettingStronger2

As other have said, AA is not a religious group. Having said that, if what you are looking for is a way to deal with life in general, 12 step programs cannot be beat. I have told many people that everyone should have a 12 step program in their life.

I wold enocurage you to give it a try, but if not, find something that will help you deal with things as they arise. If you don't, you will eventually find somewhere else to turn, and you already know where that goes.

hollybear

I've never thought of "higher power" as being the universe and reality itself. I do meditate and follow buddhist philosiphy in general in my life, so looking at it that way puts it in a completely different perspective. Thanks!

I guess you're all right, whats to lose? I'll give AA a try

LexieCat

I've got a couple of great Buddhism/Twelve step resources.

Kevin Griffin is the author of "One Breath at a Time" and "A Burning Desire". I know at least a couple of atheist friends who have finally embraced AA's Twelve Steps after reading those books. They give you a way of looking at the steps in a way you've perhaps never thought of them.

I'm also very fond of Noah Levine, who is the founder of Dharma Punx and Against the Stream, both movements that incorporate western Buddhist philosophy with recovery. Noah's sites have lots of good downloadable dharma talks on recovery.

I find that these types of resources are a great enhancement to my participation in AA.

LexieCat

Sorry, lost my connection and accidentally double posted.

lildawg

Lexie, re: the double post. I think something happened to the boards. I got the connection failed message, too! Maybe it's the alcohol demon trying to get at us. (I'm just being facetious here.)

I think that's great! I was much where you are when I quit drinking. I'm not extremely religious, and I thought I'd have to practice the Judeo-Christian belief in order to make AA work properly.

I spent several years of being sober but not very happy because I hadn't dealt with all the crap that made me who I am. I joined SR, not because I wanted to get involved in AA, but, because I wanted to find some ways to get happier. I didn't want to say, "I wish I was drunk" under my breath for the rest of my life. I wanted to quit being so angry. I wanted to find some joy in the world around me.

Since I've joined SR, though, I've really rethought the whole AA thing. I am willing to give AA (or anything) a try to get rid of these leftover bad feelings. They're eating me from the inside out.

So give AA a try. If you hate it, give SMART recovery a try. I have also, briefly, looked into Women for Sobriety. One of them might be the better choice. The best thing about AA, though, is that there are so many meetings. I have finally figured out that, since it's so accessible, I might as well give it a try before I totally dismiss it.

Good for you for reaching the same conclusion . . . and so much more quickly than I did, too!

LexieCat

Yeah, poor Iriss had a whole new THREAD post three times!

I find I lose my connection on this site a LOT. Not sure if the server has issues, or if it's just the burden of all the experience, strength and hope clogging up the bandwidth!

Whatever, it's good exercise in patience waiting for it to come back up.

spryte

Congratulations on your 7 days

I had similar qualms about what to do to stay sober. Think of your life as being 2 paths - the sober one and the drunk one. What are you willing to do to be on the sober one?

I tried lots of things, SMART online, SMART worksheets, psychologists, shrieking and crying in the arms of strangers, travel, chaning jobs, moving, AA.

My advice is to try anything. Who knows what will work for you until you tried it?

Personally speaking, the last thing I tried, and the last thing I expected to work...worked. I still use bits and pieces from lots of places, and I'm glad I tried lots of things.

artsoul

Good job on 7 days!

I have my own spiritual preferences, too (and was a psych major!). The most helpful thing I've done for myself lately is to start replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones (a severe generalization, but that's the essence of it). I understand about "easier said than done," but you're making a start just by addressing the need. I got really tired of stressing over everything (fear-based living) and not feeling that connectedness/love I had in my past. I used to be very grounded in my spirituality, but that was completely pushed aside with alcohol.

When in a place of change or "need," I put the question "out there" (ask for what you need) and it eventually comes to me in some form or fashion. Infact, we often think the universe is against us rather than for us, so just the idea of trusting in it is a step forward. I don't know if any of this makes sense (if it doesn't, just leave it on the page!)

I also wanted to say that 7 days is SO early, so don't rush yourself too much. An AA saying "keep it simple" ( or "easy does it") really helped me the first month or so.

Thanks for the post - it helped me today!!

Sugah

I'm another "nonreligious" person who's been sober in AA for 3210 days. I don't like labels, but if I had to choose one, I'd pick Buddhist. I've also learned to be open-minded, tolerant, and appreciative of the other spiritual paths (that may or may not include religion) others have taken.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

FindingDawn

Great posts by you all, they were very helpfull to me too! I am still undecided on AA to.
Guess who else wanted to be a psychologist! lol oh yeah...