StewartUK

I've posted here recently about concern over my own drinking habbits and so far i've not managed to solve them. Right now I know my life will improve for not drinking but I can;t gurantee it wont happen again, even though I feel sick to death of the cycle of black/hangover/misery etc. How did you know when you were done for good?

NEOMARXIST

If you never drink 'just for today' then you will never get drunk. Simple.

Not for good, not forever, 'just for today'.

peace

least

I've been trying to quit drinking for over two years and just now have over 100 days... but have a 'feeling' that this time is It.


I agree 100%.

ImReadyToQuit

I've found that setting dates doesn't work.. Or my favorite.. When this bottle is finished, thats the last one.. I guess the above posters are right.. Just don't drink today.

keithj

AA's Big Book has a different take. That 'just for today' idea is an NA filtered, watered down version of
But whatever works for you.

CStyle

I didn't know till years later when I could look back and say that was the last day I drank or used. My sobriety date is July 8th 2001. Who really knows though, it may not be my last day, all that I know is that today I am willing to go to anythings to stay sober and not be the person I was on July 7, 2001.

Zencat

Simple is best

Forever sure is a long time. I break it down to 'now', 'just for now' I choose sober living. "*Now* as the eternal, ever-present moment is a long time too.

Toronto68

Stewart, I don't know that this (my quitting) is for good, but I think it is. When days pass by, it seems like it is true. As has already been pointed out, we break it down into just today. When a lot of days go by, confidence can start to make it look like it is an everyday reality, but it takes focusing on what our triggers are to keep going. A lot of people will talk about rock bottom state of mind and hopelessness. Some people see that point in time more obviously than others. I guess the best thing to do would be to keep coming back in and if you are experiencing something bad or good, say so. You will be supported. If you are looking into AA as well, there is a lot of support you can get out of that too. I'm happy to see you are working on this! I am on day 120-something, and I had idea I could get past a few days back when I stopped.

Toronto68

Stewart, I just checked and it is day 125 for me. I was basically an everyday drinker for a lot of years, and that came after more of a partying period (parties, bars, then increasing bar visits, etc etc, and that all started with the once in a blue moon experimenting). I remember you saying you were more of a binge drinker and would space the episodes out by a few days. So I don't know if 125 days would have been an "abstinence period" leading up to a typical binge for you or not. That's one of the reasons we say one day a time is the way to think of it, because we all have or had our own ways of using the alcohol, which is very unprejudiced in its love for human lives.

StewartUK

The reason I find the "just for today thing" tough for me is because i dont have a problem with going without alcohol for 1 day or a week or even a month but when I do have that drink then it usually leads to a real binge.....so it's easy for me to feel like im never really making any progress, i hope that makes some sort of sense

CarolD

Welcome back to SR.....

Please check out this link.....

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

and take action ...you too can quit and stay quit.

getr345

When the room was spinning and in between thoughts of how I had utterly disgraced myself at the wedding I had just driven home drunk from I was afraid that if somehow I did fall asleep I might not wake up because I died from alcohol poisoning. Lying there, I knew. Thankfully, I did wake up (not sure I slept much tho) and I have not touched a drink since, that was almost 18 months ago.

NEOMARXIST

StewartUK the just for today applies not only to not drinking but thinking about life too. 'Projecting' thoughts into the future is what makes everything seem overwhelming. Like what you have posted is 'projected' thinking. Don't worry about the future, just make sure that everyday you don't pick up that first drink. Simple. Life will all stem from there.

I wasn't a daily drinker, but like yourself an out and out binger. I could go a couple of weeks, but then I would be gagging to get wrecked, and would have an almighty binge to make up for the two sober weeks of white-knuckling life in general. I was effectively living to get wrecked.

Just try to keep your thinking firmly rooted in the present and not in the future. The same applies to the past too really. No use having regrets either because the past cannot be changed.

jamdls

My last drink was Aug 25, 2007, it was Sept 1, 2007 before I was conscious enough to acknowledge that I nearly killed myself and accept I had a drinking problem; and it was a year later before I knew/believed that I had indeed taken my last drink on 8-25-07. I had at numerous times over the years not drank for years at a time but that was strictly choice, I didn't drink when I was pregnant nor for several years when my daughter was young, then I didn't drink during the years that I was a runner and working out a gym; but it wasn't until that fateful day in 2007 that I knew I couldn't drink again and fortunetly I don't want to drink again either.

Toronto68

Stewart, when you say you know your life will improve, is that because you did some more thinking about your alcohol experiences and reading here? Have you told anyone in person that you want to stop or just us?

Killswitch

I love this line of thinking. I have had the same issues. Trying to say I'm done "forever" and then 3 weeks later I can't resist the urge any longer and I go all out and regret it for 2 days afterwords.

The one day at a time approach really seems to help me because getting through today doesn't seem that hard. Getting through the rest of my life does. No matter what is going on today whether it be birthday parties, holidays, concerts, whatever. . . if I tell myself today that I am not going to drink today no matter what occasion may arise that is tempting I can get through it and I can enjoy myself.

Tomorrow really doesn't matter. It's not even here yet.

intention

The above quote is from Bill's story in the Big Book of AA. It sums up exactly how I felt the morning after the night before. I had no where else to go. I was thoroughly beaten by alcohol. I admitted for the first time ever that I was an alcoholic and that meant I could never, ever drink again.

Like you I could go days and weeks without booze but whenever I started drinking, I drank to oblivion again and each time it got worse and the hangovers and remorse got worse.

intention

Sorry, I missed the actual subject question of "How do you know the real Day 1"


After feeling thoroughly beaten by alcohol which had become my master, I surrendered completely. Complete surrender was something very different to all those times I had quit before. I knew that this was the real Day 1.


If you are ready to surrender, I suggest you go to AA and find someone who is living a life happy and joyous and free - free from the obsession to drink and ask them to show you how to do it.

flutter

After realizing there was absolutely nothing positive about continuing drinking..and realizing that only bad would come if I kept it up. I hadn't lost my job, marriage, kids, had a dui...yet, and decided I wanted a better life. For me th 'one day at a time' thing doesn't help, feels like hanging a drink in front of me just out of reach. I couldn't quit and stay quit until I decided that it is for life..when I wasn't ready, I dreaded that thought.. but once I was done I fully realized that it was the best decision I have made in my life.

StewartUK

Alright it makes a bit more sense to me now having heard from other binge drinkers, toronto I guess i just know life will improve because during my abstinence periods I enjoy life much more and feel much clearer and calmer in my own head. Ive not told anyone i want to quit drinking, that might be a tough discussion actually...