Long/Jumbled story. Read if you are bored.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome back, Jordan,
Glad you came back here. It takes what it takes, for each of us, to face how unmanageable our lives have gotten. You weren't ready in December, but you thought about it, did what you needed to do, and now you're here. That's what counts.
Glad you are going to AA. Take your time about figuring out how to deal with life's tragedies. If you do what you need to do, you will have lots of support when you need it. I've heard stories at AA meetings about people who have lost siblings, children, and before they left the hospital they had a crowd of AA friends to support them.
Glad you came back here. It takes what it takes, for each of us, to face how unmanageable our lives have gotten. You weren't ready in December, but you thought about it, did what you needed to do, and now you're here. That's what counts.
Glad you are going to AA. Take your time about figuring out how to deal with life's tragedies. If you do what you need to do, you will have lots of support when you need it. I've heard stories at AA meetings about people who have lost siblings, children, and before they left the hospital they had a crowd of AA friends to support them.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Really glad you came back to share with us...
Yes...I've had a lot of bad things happen since I
committed to having God and AA in my daily life.
I went thru them retaining my sobriety
This can be true for you as well....
I did ask a friend to go with me to my first meeting.
That worked out very well. So...good plan!
Here is a link with info on de toxing
please check it out
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Keep posting....we do understand and we are here
24/7 to support and care about you.
Many of us are winning over alcohol.
Yes...I've had a lot of bad things happen since I
committed to having God and AA in my daily life.
I went thru them retaining my sobriety
This can be true for you as well....
I did ask a friend to go with me to my first meeting.
That worked out very well. So...good plan!
Here is a link with info on de toxing
please check it out
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Keep posting....we do understand and we are here
24/7 to support and care about you.
Many of us are winning over alcohol.
Last edited by CarolD; 08-22-2010 at 09:52 PM. Reason: Added Link
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're here, Jordan. I was drinking when I first posted, too, and really didn't have any confidence that I could quit. I just knew I wanted the pain to go away and when I saw this forum, I figured I would at least be understood by people going through the same thing.
It takes a little time and practice to learn to live sober, but each day you do it makes it easier the next day. When you're on day 1 tomorrow, just take it an hour at a time until you get through the day sober. Don't worry about next week, or what will happen when your grandparents die, or what's going to happen next weekend. Just stay in the day and do whatever it takes to not pick up that drink. See a doctor if you have to for help with withdrawals.
Look at it like getting over a major injury (which it is.... to our bodies and brains). It's going to involve taking baby steps at first. We've all been there, and know what you're going through. If we can do it, so can you!:ghug3
It takes a little time and practice to learn to live sober, but each day you do it makes it easier the next day. When you're on day 1 tomorrow, just take it an hour at a time until you get through the day sober. Don't worry about next week, or what will happen when your grandparents die, or what's going to happen next weekend. Just stay in the day and do whatever it takes to not pick up that drink. See a doctor if you have to for help with withdrawals.
Look at it like getting over a major injury (which it is.... to our bodies and brains). It's going to involve taking baby steps at first. We've all been there, and know what you're going through. If we can do it, so can you!:ghug3
Then the bird said 'Nevermore'
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 116
Hi there Jordan! Welcome to the forum 
I can't even begin to tell you about all the great information that is on this site.. read around, you will never feel alone! I am so glad that you are taking the steps toward sobriety. No one is going to tell you it is an easy feat - but if you are truly committed to taking your life back from the grasp of addiction - you will be fine
The key to sobriety (i have learned) is taking one day at a time, focusing on the here and now. Addiction will steal everything you love away from you - in the blink of an eye. It seems that unfortunately, you have already felt a dose of its power. But you know what the good news is? YOU are much stronger than addiction! You have the strength to overcome any situation if you follow the right steps.
keep posting. post when your doing well, post when your not feelin so hot. and read read read
new days filled with happiness, self love, and sobriety are waiting for you, congrats!
I can't even begin to tell you about all the great information that is on this site.. read around, you will never feel alone! I am so glad that you are taking the steps toward sobriety. No one is going to tell you it is an easy feat - but if you are truly committed to taking your life back from the grasp of addiction - you will be fine
The key to sobriety (i have learned) is taking one day at a time, focusing on the here and now. Addiction will steal everything you love away from you - in the blink of an eye. It seems that unfortunately, you have already felt a dose of its power. But you know what the good news is? YOU are much stronger than addiction! You have the strength to overcome any situation if you follow the right steps.
keep posting. post when your doing well, post when your not feelin so hot. and read read read
new days filled with happiness, self love, and sobriety are waiting for you, congrats!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
What flashed through my mind when you talked about your Grandparents was I felt the same way about my Mother when she was ill. I remember drinking myself into oblivion. Anticipating her dying and what I was going to do without her. She was my best friend and I loved her more than I loved myself. I spent a year drinking myself sick. Well, she did die and I was left to deal with my problems alone.
I can tell you now that drinking compounded the grief and loss. Didn't do anything but put me in an alcoholic pity party. Enjoy your Grandparents while they are here. We all die sooner or later, its called life. I don't mean to sound cold if it comes across that way. I wanted you to know that my drinking and worrying did nothing to prevent her dying. I still had to cope with that sober or not. I wish I'd been sober.
Start today my friend, you CAN do it. One day at a time. We can't think clearly when our bodies are filled with poison. We do learn to cope with life's tragedy's like it or not. Running from issues and drinking them away doesn't make them go away! Everything is waiting for you to deal with sooner or later.
I know your scared, I was too. Fear is what makes us stronger. Once you face it there's nothing that can hold you back. Claim your life again. You'll be so much happier sober, I can promise you that.
My Best Wishes To You
I can tell you now that drinking compounded the grief and loss. Didn't do anything but put me in an alcoholic pity party. Enjoy your Grandparents while they are here. We all die sooner or later, its called life. I don't mean to sound cold if it comes across that way. I wanted you to know that my drinking and worrying did nothing to prevent her dying. I still had to cope with that sober or not. I wish I'd been sober.
Start today my friend, you CAN do it. One day at a time. We can't think clearly when our bodies are filled with poison. We do learn to cope with life's tragedy's like it or not. Running from issues and drinking them away doesn't make them go away! Everything is waiting for you to deal with sooner or later.
I know your scared, I was too. Fear is what makes us stronger. Once you face it there's nothing that can hold you back. Claim your life again. You'll be so much happier sober, I can promise you that.
My Best Wishes To You
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I don't have a lot to add to what the other wise posters have said. It is difficult to deal with things sober, but it is easier to deal with life sober than drunk. And I was drinking almost my entire life. . .but it does get easier. Alcohol has never solved anything for us, and it never will.
In your original post, you talked about how drinking is who you are. I felt a deep grief when I realized I could never drink again (and that was before I went to an AA meeting or knew anything about the program or any other recovery program!). There was one day (I think it was my third day in), that I actually cried most of the evening. It was like I was burying a dear, dear friend. In a way, I was. But that friend never did anything for me, and was in fact, helping to kill me, slowly but surely.
Keep coming back. You will find that you will not be judged here. And if the AA meeting you go to first doesn't fit for you, give it another chance, either in that meeting or others. I know the apprehension of going to that first meeting. I went alone. But the morning I walked through the doors I was done drinking. Done. So it really didn't matter what happened there. As it turned out, it was like returning to a home I never knew was there. It was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself.
In your original post, you talked about how drinking is who you are. I felt a deep grief when I realized I could never drink again (and that was before I went to an AA meeting or knew anything about the program or any other recovery program!). There was one day (I think it was my third day in), that I actually cried most of the evening. It was like I was burying a dear, dear friend. In a way, I was. But that friend never did anything for me, and was in fact, helping to kill me, slowly but surely.
Keep coming back. You will find that you will not be judged here. And if the AA meeting you go to first doesn't fit for you, give it another chance, either in that meeting or others. I know the apprehension of going to that first meeting. I went alone. But the morning I walked through the doors I was done drinking. Done. So it really didn't matter what happened there. As it turned out, it was like returning to a home I never knew was there. It was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 11
Thank you. I know what you mean. I already feel like I'm killing off a part of me. I know alcohol is not good for us, but I have been at it for so long it's become what defines me. It's gotten so bad that I decide how I spend my money in terms of beer. Do I really want this? That could be a case of beer tonight. That's just sad.
I'll let you guys know how my first AA meeting goes.
I'll let you guys know how my first AA meeting goes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Originally Posted by Jordan983 
Thank you. I know what you mean. I already feel like I'm killing off a part of me. I know alcohol is not good for us, but I have been at it for so long it's become what defines me. It's gotten so bad that I decide how I spend my money in terms of beer. Do I really want this? That could be a case of beer tonight. That's just sad.
Keep coming back! We care what happens to you!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hi Jordan,
Life is hard, and when things happen that we can't control, it can throw us into a tornado of self hate because we are powerless to help. So some of us drink to numb that feeling. I know I did. But the problem with that is drinking cause more and more bad feelings to come about, than if we wouldve just dealt with the issues sober. A dying parent or grandparent is awful, and we are helpless. Do you think its wise to add in self hate, and anxiety and even MORE depression into that by drinking? You sound really desperate to stop. It will take strength and support, which we here will give you as much as we can. But you also need to find the strength and the fight inside you to make a better life for yourself. You ARE worth it!!!
Life is hard, and when things happen that we can't control, it can throw us into a tornado of self hate because we are powerless to help. So some of us drink to numb that feeling. I know I did. But the problem with that is drinking cause more and more bad feelings to come about, than if we wouldve just dealt with the issues sober. A dying parent or grandparent is awful, and we are helpless. Do you think its wise to add in self hate, and anxiety and even MORE depression into that by drinking? You sound really desperate to stop. It will take strength and support, which we here will give you as much as we can. But you also need to find the strength and the fight inside you to make a better life for yourself. You ARE worth it!!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 114
Hey man, anything I would say has pretty much been summed up by everyone else. So, good job for coming here and I wish you the best.
The only thing i want to add is: You commented that "you deserve this" etc. Please note, no matter what, all of us here, myself included-none of us deserve any of the negative aspects of this disease. While it is valuable to understand and feel responsible for your consequences-life does not have to be like this, and nobody deserves to feel the way you do right now.
All I can say is that I know the feeling-I went through the same stuff myself. But now, I realize that we dont deserve those things. Every human deserves the good stuff in life-regardless (In my own opinion). The task at hand is getting past what is preventing you from getting there. I think your on the right track coming here.
All the best
The only thing i want to add is: You commented that "you deserve this" etc. Please note, no matter what, all of us here, myself included-none of us deserve any of the negative aspects of this disease. While it is valuable to understand and feel responsible for your consequences-life does not have to be like this, and nobody deserves to feel the way you do right now.
All I can say is that I know the feeling-I went through the same stuff myself. But now, I realize that we dont deserve those things. Every human deserves the good stuff in life-regardless (In my own opinion). The task at hand is getting past what is preventing you from getting there. I think your on the right track coming here.
All the best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 11
I went to my first AA meeting tonight. It was not very big. There were five of us. I think I said maybe two words. When I tried to share I had to pass. I could not get the words out. I don't think I'm comfortable enough for this yet.
I'm going back tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going back tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it goes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by BadCompany
You did just fine. You went there and put your butt in a seat.
I really appreciate the support guys. It means more than you could imagine.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Good for you, Jordan!
Hey, most of what we usually need to do at the first meetings is LISTEN.
And a great big ********{BadCompany}}}}} for carrying the message! Wow, you guys got me all teary 'n' stuff.
Hey, most of what we usually need to do at the first meetings is LISTEN.
And a great big ********{BadCompany}}}}} for carrying the message! Wow, you guys got me all teary 'n' stuff.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 11
Last night was a rough time. I couldn't sleep very well. I think I got in an hour total. My mind kept racing, weird dreams, and I couldn't get comfortable. How long does that usually last?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Everyone is a little different...I would say the average is 5-7 days. Did you have night sweats as well? Those usually come with the territory. If you can manage it try and get a nap today. Detox isn't fun or easy but when you get to the other side its great:-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 11
I managed to get some food down just now. Went all day with classes and didn't stop to eat. The idea of it kind of made my stomach upset. I'm going to another meeting tonight.
My ex is proud of me that I'm doing this. I hope this means she can forgive me for my drunk self. I'll keep you guys updated on how everything goes.
My ex is proud of me that I'm doing this. I hope this means she can forgive me for my drunk self. I'll keep you guys updated on how everything goes.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hey Jordan
We have a thread about peoples detox experiences as a sticky:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Dunno if it means much, but for me it usually took a week or so for me to feel 'ok'.
D
We have a thread about peoples detox experiences as a sticky:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Dunno if it means much, but for me it usually took a week or so for me to feel 'ok'.
D
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