baldjim

i was driving home today about 5.30 pm and i saw one of the old bar flies staggering home can of stong lager in hand ,face bright red and eyes nearly closed he looked really dreadfull,i thought there but by the grace of god go i

i was so thankfull i was not like that anymore

i could not wait to get home so i could kiss my laptop and the SR logo upon it

thank you guys i never would of done it without you

strangely though i kinda feel really guilty too that my ex drinking partner has a horrible death ahead of him and somehow i seem to of moved on and my health is getting better

tommyk

Keep coming back, I like the sounds of that success.

Astro

Thanks for sharing your God-shot, a reminder of a life we never want to return to. And who knows, maybe someday you'll be asked to help that person in their recovery. Or maybe you're already leading him by your example?

penny74

Maybe your ex drinking partner has not got a horrible death in front of him.
Maybe life has other plans for him.
l hope so.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. -

jamdls

That's good news Jim, now you just need to find something better than your laptop to kiss? maybe a pet?

FindMyselfSober

OMG- you are hilarious!
And yeah, maybe you can help the guy out someday...

baldjim

thank you

i was wondering what other people thought when they met old drinking buddies

both of themselves and the old drinking buddy

Nettaja

Pity, usually. But a realisation that there's no point trying to do anything about it as it's a personal choice and for him it must still feel better to be drinking. Generally I had been the heaviest drinker though out of my drinking circle though.

CarolD

Jim....
You were not yet a member when I posted this

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-friends.html

I could add 2 others. to update...however..
the message is the point not my name or theirs.

Good to know you are on track...Well Done...

McGowdog

Jim, I'm glad you recognize that new perspective.

If you're willing to go to the prayer "But for the Grace of God there go I...", you may throw another prayer his way to his good fortune instead. You may point him in the direction of a hot cup of tea or coffee on a cold morning. You might let him know that you're now sober and how it was done... if he'll care to listen.

I've got some ex drinking buddies who seemed to grow out of it and may be only occasional hard drinkers. I've got a few that certainly don't want to hear my preaching and have not much to say to me unless they're themselves a bit dried off. I've got a couple who hung themselves. I've got a few that have gotten sober... with and without A.A.

I'm mostly grateful that I'm not there drinking with them... but I also understand it in a strange sort of way.

yeahgr8

Thanks for that link Carol, i hadn't seen that...wow!

baldjim - Most of the people i hung round with were heavy drinkers really so i don't really feel anything when i see them. There is one guy who is skinny as a stick, defo alcoholic, doesn't want to know...i hope he doesn't but the smart money is on him going all the way. I see a lot of people who have been into AA and have left, my sponsor knows all of them as the place i am in is very small...when he points them out i usually don't say much, what is there to say really? Just thank God that i have been given an opportunity and hope they find their way in too...

baldjim

thanks to everyone who posted

its a very moving subject for me

my sister is drunk ,who just cannot stop drinking

she has yellow eyes and her kids are door latch kids .mom always in the pub get your own tea sort of thing

my one major regret in my life is that i drank

my life could of been so different

but i'm sober now i will just make the best use of the time i have left now :praying

FBL

As I posted in another thread, I have friends and family members who have some major alcohol issues...God knows that I was right in there with them for too many years.

I only hope that I can lead by example. Although I must admit that it's tough not to say anything, especially with my sister-in-law, who I believe is very close to some serious (possibly life-threatening) medical issues. I guess all I can do is pray that she will "see the light" before it's too late.

JohnnyZ

I also hope that I can lead by example, and yes, it's really tough not to say anything. And, most of the time, it's not even fun anymore being with my wife, daughter and son-in-law, and/or son when they're drinking. I try not to get disgusted with them. It seems that it takes more willpower to control my emotions than it does for me not to drink!

It's interesting, however, that my very best friend who I've drank with for decades won't drink anymore when we're doing something together. I assured him that he need not stop enjoying his alcoholic beverages because of me. He was never a heavy drinker like me, and only mostly drank when he was around me. Although he doesn't say it, I can tell that he's enjoying not drinking with me... :-)

mariechi

Regrets are a waste of time and energy. You cannot change the past. How do you know that you haven't fulfilled an important role? How do you know that the rest of your life isn't going to be so wonderful that what brought you to it ....

Be joyous

McGowdog

There is a slogan in A.A. that I think is a bunch of BS... from how I interpret my experience... of course.

It says that you have to change your playmates, playpens, blahblahblah.

That's bull. When I got sober, I went to my friend's house. He was swilling. I wasn't. After a while he said, "You're boring." So I left.

He doesn't care about my sobriety at all. Maybe some day he will need some help or he will die a tragic booze-induced death. They say I can lead by example, but for the most part, I can leave him alone. If I never called him, he would never call me... ever. That's not a friend.

I think that sucks too. I'm not happy about it. You could say I'm hurt by it. But he doesn't want my sobriety and I don't have to "change" anything. Life changes it for me.

Now I have a host of sober friends who I don't have enough hours in the day to spend time with. I see some of them at meetings, coffee or diner after meeting, at the IHOP or Denny's pitching a new drunk.

But with friends and family, it's tough. I'm too close to them to be able to do much but let actions speak for me. They sure don't want none of my preaching, because I tried that and it doesn't work. I wished it did. Don't they know who I am?

In time, I found myself able to be with them... even when they drink. I don't like it much, but how else am I gonna be that example? So long as I don't preach.

Mark75

Awesome words, "life changes it for me"... not always easy though, uh?

We know who you are... LOL

Mark

nelco

I am iin AA a long time and have never saw that slogan. I have heard a lot of thiings said around the rooms though by members.

most of my family are alcoholics and thats sad for me. I choose not to be around them much because some of them see me sober .....the same way a bull sees a red flag.

I try to live a good life sober and have helped quite a few people who were attracted to my way of living.

McGowdog

Are you implying that all slogans are written? The things that are written, like "First Things First", "Live and Let Live", "Easy Does It", ...and for that I am responsible", etc. come right from the A.A. book or perhaps literature.

A lot of slogans are stuff we hear. I have seen "Keep coming back!" on a poster at this one meeting and I don't know where it comes from. Nor do I know where "It works if you work it" came from, but I hear it at a LOT of meetings.

Chants! There's a lot of chants and slogans. Many aren't written, but burn into my hide pretty good.

nelco

our A.A .experiences are different McGowdog, there are 8 slogans in my H. G sent down by head office. other people tried to post other stuff but .....through out G.C they were rejected. We like to "KEEP IT SIMPLE"