I need advice from an alcoholic/recovered alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: nsw sydney
Posts: 55
I need advice from an alcoholic/recovered alcoholic
I am seeking the advice from a recovered alcoholic or an alcoholic.
.
My partner is an alcoholic who has severe binges drinking up to 1500ml of straight vodka in 24 hours. I feel as though during this time he is very selfish, he could not be there for me at all no matter what the situation during these binges, whether it be a friend, or a protective male partner.
.
My question is, when an alcoholic is in the middle of a massive binge do they still have the appreciation to know what is right and what is wrong? Does my partner still appreciate that he is hurting me and that i am suffering? Does he have the ability to think...i need to stop drinking and get someone to take me to the doctors?? As i have said in a previous post, his binges sometimes last up to 4 weeks and they always end by me dragging him to the doctor. he has it in his head that he is weining off and sleeping it off. the only problem is that he needs to drink to get to sleep.
.
Can someone who has had a similar experience to my partner please attempt to explain to me what goes through the mind and even if there is an ability to make decisions this deeply intoxicated...will the viscious cicle end without my interviening??
.
My partner is an alcoholic who has severe binges drinking up to 1500ml of straight vodka in 24 hours. I feel as though during this time he is very selfish, he could not be there for me at all no matter what the situation during these binges, whether it be a friend, or a protective male partner.
.
My question is, when an alcoholic is in the middle of a massive binge do they still have the appreciation to know what is right and what is wrong? Does my partner still appreciate that he is hurting me and that i am suffering? Does he have the ability to think...i need to stop drinking and get someone to take me to the doctors?? As i have said in a previous post, his binges sometimes last up to 4 weeks and they always end by me dragging him to the doctor. he has it in his head that he is weining off and sleeping it off. the only problem is that he needs to drink to get to sleep.
.
Can someone who has had a similar experience to my partner please attempt to explain to me what goes through the mind and even if there is an ability to make decisions this deeply intoxicated...will the viscious cicle end without my interviening??
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
What was going through my mind when I was active in addiction was "all I want to do is drink". When I was at work I was planning out what I was going to buy and how much. I looked forward to drinking. It was all I cared about...getting my next fix.
In my experience no one could get me to quit. I had to want to quit and I had to make the effort to stop and stay stopped.
Please take care of yourself, want2help. You can take care of yourself. That is the one thing you do have control over.
In my experience no one could get me to quit. I had to want to quit and I had to make the effort to stop and stay stopped.
Please take care of yourself, want2help. You can take care of yourself. That is the one thing you do have control over.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I need advice from an alcoholic/recovered alcoholic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am seeking the advice from a recovered alcoholic or an alcoholic.
.
My partner is an alcoholic who has severe binges drinking up to 1500ml of straight vodka in 24 hours. I feel as though during this time he is very selfish, he could not be there for me at all no matter what the situation during these binges, whether it be a friend, or a protective male partner.
.
My question is, when an alcoholic is in the middle of a massive binge do they still have the appreciation to know what is right and what is wrong? Does my partner still appreciate that he is hurting me and that i am suffering? Does he have the ability to think...i need to stop drinking and get someone to take me to the doctors?? As i have said in a previous post, his binges sometimes last up to 4 weeks and they always end by me dragging him to the doctor. he has it in his head that he is weining off and sleeping it off. the only problem is that he needs to drink to get to sleep.
.
Can someone who has had a similar experience to my partner please attempt to explain to me what goes through the mind and even if there is an ability to make decisions this deeply intoxicated...will the viscious cicle end without my interviening??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am seeking the advice from a recovered alcoholic or an alcoholic.
.
My partner is an alcoholic who has severe binges drinking up to 1500ml of straight vodka in 24 hours. I feel as though during this time he is very selfish, he could not be there for me at all no matter what the situation during these binges, whether it be a friend, or a protective male partner.
.
My question is, when an alcoholic is in the middle of a massive binge do they still have the appreciation to know what is right and what is wrong? Does my partner still appreciate that he is hurting me and that i am suffering? Does he have the ability to think...i need to stop drinking and get someone to take me to the doctors?? As i have said in a previous post, his binges sometimes last up to 4 weeks and they always end by me dragging him to the doctor. he has it in his head that he is weining off and sleeping it off. the only problem is that he needs to drink to get to sleep.
.
Can someone who has had a similar experience to my partner please attempt to explain to me what goes through the mind and even if there is an ability to make decisions this deeply intoxicated...will the viscious cicle end without my interviening??
Nothing went through my mind when I was that f'd up.. nothing. Obviously not my own well being, how could I care about anyone elses?
If he's drinking like that.. and has no plans to quit, the cycle will likely end when his body decides for it to.
I drank vodka too. Not even close to that much, and my hubby called an ambulance on me because I was drunk at noon, and come to find out my blood alcohol level was almost twice that of what can cause death. I was up walking and talking and 'functioning' and on the verge of dying. If he hadn't have called, I would be dead now. I drank again 3 weeks after that, and drank until it almost happened again.
Nothing you do will get him to stop. If he doesn't decide on his own, something else will.
You can choose to watch it happen, or step away... I hope he comes to some realization about his life, before it's too late. That's the only direction he's headed.. it sounds 'negative', but it is. Chronic alcohol abuse is fatal if untreated.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
Have you considered a formal intervention? They can be powerful if you have multiple family members and close friends.
As a co-dependent, you have to set boundaries and live up to them. An intervention can be an effective way of communicating your boundaries, not to mention getting your partner into a rehab program.
As a co-dependent, you have to set boundaries and live up to them. An intervention can be an effective way of communicating your boundaries, not to mention getting your partner into a rehab program.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
I am so sorry. But the truth is, if you are being thought of at all, it is probably with regards to how you can help his addiction.
Yes, the truth is, there is NOTHING that you can do until he decides that he is done.
But what smacked shared was very powerful. If you feel he can die, please call for medical help.
Yes, the truth is, there is NOTHING that you can do until he decides that he is done.
But what smacked shared was very powerful. If you feel he can die, please call for medical help.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
The sad truth is that anyone who drinks that much that fast is in effect placing a 5 lb. magnet next to their compass. I would recommend looking at:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: nsw sydney
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by smacked 
To answer: No. No. And no.
Nothing went through my mind when I was that f'd up.. nothing. Obviously not my own well being, how could I care about anyone elses?
If he's drinking like that.. and has no plans to quit, the cycle will likely end when his body decides for it to.
I drank vodka too. Not even close to that much, and my hubby called an ambulance on me because I was drunk at noon, and come to find out my blood alcohol level was almost twice that of what can cause death. I was up walking and talking and 'functioning' and on the verge of dying. If he hadn't have called, I would be dead now. I drank again 3 weeks after that, and drank until it almost happened again.
Nothing you do will get him to stop. If he doesn't decide on his own, something else will.
You can choose to watch it happen, or step away... I hope he comes to some realization about his life, before it's too late. That's the only direction he's headed.. it sounds 'negative', but it is. Chronic alcohol abuse is fatal if untreated.
Nothing went through my mind when I was that f'd up.. nothing. Obviously not my own well being, how could I care about anyone elses?
If he's drinking like that.. and has no plans to quit, the cycle will likely end when his body decides for it to.
I drank vodka too. Not even close to that much, and my hubby called an ambulance on me because I was drunk at noon, and come to find out my blood alcohol level was almost twice that of what can cause death. I was up walking and talking and 'functioning' and on the verge of dying. If he hadn't have called, I would be dead now. I drank again 3 weeks after that, and drank until it almost happened again.
Nothing you do will get him to stop. If he doesn't decide on his own, something else will.
You can choose to watch it happen, or step away... I hope he comes to some realization about his life, before it's too late. That's the only direction he's headed.. it sounds 'negative', but it is. Chronic alcohol abuse is fatal if untreated.
thats really scarey, i called the ambulance on two seperate occassions howeve he only refused service and laughed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: nsw sydney
Posts: 55
now i am even more scared. we have done everything possible that a family can do. doctors, hospitals, rehab, inpatient, outpatient, staying with him, abandoning him, hiding his money, leaving him his money.....you name it, he has tried it, we have tried it. My head is spinning, i dont want to just wait until he dies. this is really not fair on the people that love and care for him.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
You cannot save him. He's making choices that don't seem fair to you, but all you can do is try to work on YOUR recovery. A lot of people unfortunately lose loved ones before they are ever ready to make a change.. please just take care of yourself, he's making his choice in life very very clear.
I'll reiterate what I have said.. you can set some boundaries and live for YOU and your life, or you can sit by and watch him go whichever way he wants. Yes, it's scary.
I'll reiterate what I have said.. you can set some boundaries and live for YOU and your life, or you can sit by and watch him go whichever way he wants. Yes, it's scary.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
A recovered alcoholic is a miracle;an act of God...
I will pray that your loved one finds a miracle and, also for you to realize that it is not up to you to change him which is also a miracle.
from-
a ex 5th of tequila a day drinker
I will pray that your loved one finds a miracle and, also for you to realize that it is not up to you to change him which is also a miracle.
from-
a ex 5th of tequila a day drinker
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
With me personally.. (and being married for a while).. I never really did anything to bother or hurt my wife.. And I was drinking atleast 750 ml a day.. However, on occasion, I might say some stupid **** or do something that I could not recall (typical blackouts).. and what would be worse is when she would tell me about it.. I couldn't remember..
So.. What I can say is he's probably an ******* sober or drunk..
So.. What I can say is he's probably an ******* sober or drunk..
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Orlando Florida
Posts: 220
I just came from a Three Week 24/7 Blackout Binge that ended April 7. I was drinking 1.5 liters of Gin per day and kept my BAC up in the .32+ range at all times (I had a breathalizer to test it). When in that state Physical, Mental, and Spiritual deterioration occur at a rapid and accelerating rate.
For a period of 5 days I wasn't eating at all, or sleeping (passing out maybe), and completely isolated myself and did nothing but drink. I didn't know what time or day it was or where I was at. Thoughts of myself or others were non existent. Only obtaining and consuming alcohol meant anything at all.
For me the suffering eventually became unbearable and I took the steps to get sober. Not everybody will reach that Rock Bottom at the same time or in the same way or even at all. However until I realized on my own that I couldn't stand it anymore, there was nothing anyone could do to get me to stop drinking.
There is Zero percent chance that an Alcoholics drinking problem will ever improve from it's worst point. It always gets worse. Never get's better. It is a sad and tragic disease. The good news is once drinking is completely stopped, the brain and body have a remarkable ability to bounce back and recover. It takes time, dedication, and work but the rewards are limitless.
For a period of 5 days I wasn't eating at all, or sleeping (passing out maybe), and completely isolated myself and did nothing but drink. I didn't know what time or day it was or where I was at. Thoughts of myself or others were non existent. Only obtaining and consuming alcohol meant anything at all.
For me the suffering eventually became unbearable and I took the steps to get sober. Not everybody will reach that Rock Bottom at the same time or in the same way or even at all. However until I realized on my own that I couldn't stand it anymore, there was nothing anyone could do to get me to stop drinking.
There is Zero percent chance that an Alcoholics drinking problem will ever improve from it's worst point. It always gets worse. Never get's better. It is a sad and tragic disease. The good news is once drinking is completely stopped, the brain and body have a remarkable ability to bounce back and recover. It takes time, dedication, and work but the rewards are limitless.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
want2help-
have you been over to the 'friends and family' forums?
I think you'd benefit from reading these people's experiences,
and there's sone over there who run as an impeccable program
as any I've read.
I hope you'll drop by over there, hon.
There's a wealth of wisdom and recovery over there
I feel you can benefit from right away.
have you been over to the 'friends and family' forums?
I think you'd benefit from reading these people's experiences,
and there's sone over there who run as an impeccable program
as any I've read.
I hope you'll drop by over there, hon.
There's a wealth of wisdom and recovery over there
I feel you can benefit from right away.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: London
Posts: 145
Originally Posted by barb dwyer
want2help-
have you been over to the 'friends and family' forums?
I think you'd benefit from reading these people's experiences,
and there's sone over there who run as an impeccable program
as any I've read.
I hope you'll drop by over there, hon.
There's a wealth of wisdom and recovery over there
I feel you can benefit from right away.
have you been over to the 'friends and family' forums?
I think you'd benefit from reading these people's experiences,
and there's sone over there who run as an impeccable program
as any I've read.
I hope you'll drop by over there, hon.
There's a wealth of wisdom and recovery over there
I feel you can benefit from right away.
I have to agree with Barb! Has helped me immensely in the almost-three-weeks i've been a member. Thank you everyone and keep the posts coming!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
