littlebluedog

I can't do this on my own. I've been trying for the past several months, and it always ends the same. Going all week not drinking, then getting blackout drunk on the weekends. Started AA this week, going again tomorrow. I've been reading this forum for a while, and the stories are an inspiration. I remember being in the room tonight and wanting what they all have now. Anyway, thats all.

suki44883

Keep posting and reading. Keep attending meetings if they are helping. You can do this! We've all been where you are and yes, it is scary for a while, but it is so worth it! Good luck and prayers going out to you. ((((HUGS))))

Nevertheless

Hello LBD
Going to a meeting is jumping a huge hurdle,(it was for me anyway). Once you go it gets easier"to go to another". If you keep hanging around those sober people it's bound to rub off.
Fred

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. I hope you stick around and keep posting.

CarolD

Hi again....
I replied to your other post in Newcomers
good to see you over here in Alcoholism too.

Please read this link....blackouts are discussed
but there is more info there

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I took the information from "Under The Influence"
re connected to God and AA....and finally I quit drinking.

Please keep posting with us....many of us are winning over alcohol
This can be true for you too.....

readyforhelp

Glad you are here, littlebluedog!

littlebluedog

Yeah, the first time, I had no clue where I was going, where to sit, and when they handed me the list of numbers and meetings, my hands were shaking.

The next time, I was still nervous, but a little more at ease.

keithj

Congrats, littlebluedog, on taking some positive action by going to meetings. I know that it's tough in the beginning, but those phone numbers are given to you for a reason. The sooner you reach out to those people the better.

I was a hopeless drunk who recovered by taking AA's 12 steps. I had no intention of looking for anything spiritual in the program; I just wanted to stop drinking. The result of taking those 12 steps changed my life completely, and I found myself having a completely new outlook on life. And the obsession to drink went away.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this. If you want the recovery that AA promises, you have to work the AA program of recovery as contained in the 12 steps. Sitting around with a bunch of people who are likely as sick as you are is unlikely to produce results. In fact, the program of AA teaches that this will absolutely fail, but we like to let people come to their own conclusions.

I know it can be overwhelming at first. That time between stopping drinking and getting some relief through the steps is very uncomfortable. But if you really want to recover, if you are desperate, latch onto the solution contained in AA's Big Book as soon as possible.

gravity

For me, AA has four important aspects: 12 steps, sponsor, meetings, and fellowship. I view the 12 steps as a framework for living a good, sober life (applying them 24 hours a day).

I know how tough it is to walk into a meeting room for the first time. It gets so much easier and there will come a day when you feel at "home". After about 3 months and 25 meetings, I started to look forward to going to meetings - spiritual growth, help others, see my friends.

My advice is to not get overwhelmed by it all. One day at a time, one meeting at a time, one step at a time.

Best wishes!

smacked

I'm not an AAer but I'm really glad you found something to help you! Most of us are here because we can't do it on our own.

Glad you're here

Charmie

hello LBD and welcome.im delighted for you that you have decided to throw in the towel and seek help.i too am in AA and i have only been there since the begining of the year.my sober date is 7th feb.ive got a sponsor now and im on the 12step programme and my life is changing beyond recogition.just 6 months ago if you would have told me what things were going to be like for me now i would have laughed in your face.the 12 steps is a programme for living,i couldnt function without booze and thought my case was hopeless.by applying myself without abandon and working at sobriety, every day gets better.you too can have what you see in others.i wish you all the very best and you are in my prayers.:ghug3

littlebluedog

Wow. Thank y'all so much for the encouragement. Going to another meeting tonight.

optra

Hello littlebluedog and welcome
I need to agree with keithj about everything he said. After 3 months in the fellowship I was sober but sicker than when I started. Until I latched on to a sponsor who had been through the program(12 steps) and worked them with his guidance straight out of the Big Book I had no relief. Now just past 9 months my life is infinately better.
All the best to you in your recovery.

keithj

Ha! It's really cool to watch someone who has just being hanging around meetings wondering if this is all there is to sobriety, and then see 'em catch fire when they work the steps. Very fun. It's when you find out there is so much more to sobriety than not drinking.

A friend of mine described this as having a gorilla sitting on your chest choking you. When you stop drinking, the gorilla takes his hands from around your throat. And that's great, you can finally breathe again. But he's still on your chest. He's heavy and he stinks, and you're always in fear of having him start choking you again. Working the steps removes the gorilla. Freedom versus relief.

tommyk

AA meetings are a kick, I love them.

There are two major learning points you can get from people in meetings:

- How you WANT to be...

- How you DO NOT WANT to be...

Be prepared to encounter some bad examples in meetings, learn from them, watch that you don't make the mistakes they make. Too many newcomers go to a meeting or two, encounter some people they don't like, and never go back. Dive in with an attitude of 'acceptance' of where other people are at in their recovery. Remember that no one is there because they didn't have any problems.

As much as I want to see everyone's recovery flourish, I know that seeing & hearing bad examples is good for me, because it reminds me of where I DO NOT want to go or be. I am only one drink away from being a bad example myself.

Let us know how you like the AA meetings, I find them fascinating.

littlebluedog

Went to another meeting tonight. Got a sponsor and a copy of the big book. Going back tomorrow.

Canceled plans I had this weekend. I was supposed to go to a concert a group of people, who all plan on getting drunk. None of them know I've started going to AA yet. Just my husband. He's telling everyone I've got plans with other friends( at my request). Plan on going to meeting(s), but don't really have anything planned after that. Probably end up going to a movie or something. Or, maybe I should park by butt at a park or something and start reading the first 60 pages of the book like my sponsor told me to.

Charmie

well done lbd,,you sound so enthusiastic! this is great that you are just plowing ahead and taking action! i dont know what else to say really apart from keep doing what you are doing! im excited to get updates of your progress! keep us posted.

Cathy31

Gravity, I am sure you didn't mean to leave out what is unequivocably the most important 5th aspect : Higher Power!

Cathy31
x

Tazman53

littlebluedog, you have gotten some awesome replies, all of them I concur with and have been my experience as well.

AA is like a double edged sword that cuts alcoholism in 2 directions.

1. The fellowship gives us support, love, & guidance. As already mentioned it shows us what we can have and how to get it & it also shows us what we do not want and from those we learn what NOT to do.

2. The program of AA is what leads us to freedom, it leads us to freedom from the bounds of our alcoholism and also freedoom for self! From the program of AA we find principles that if applied properly give us a new life!

In the BB in chapter 5 "How it Works" it opens with a very important line:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

In other words I found that in order to have that which I wanted in others in AA, peace, serenity, & being comfortable in thier own skin, I needed to follow the same path they did, I got a sponsor, with that sponsor I took the steps to heart with all the honesty & earnestness I could, today I apply those steps to all areas of my life and I pass on to my sponsees and others what was so freely given to me.

littlebluedog I am typing this all with a grin on my face, you see I love what I have today, but what I love even more is seeing others starting to take the steps needed to get what I have.

Live life knowing that you never have to drink again unless you REALLY want to. You also never have to be alone again unless you choose to.

Call those phone numbers, beleive it or not you will be helping the people you call stay sober just as much as they can help you stay sober.

keithj

I'm kind of convinced that if you work the 12 steps, the HP thing takes care of itself. It's an inevitable result, even if you don't want it.