solice

Hi All. Well, made it through two days of high blood pressure, didnt really want to drink and was ok, drank lots of fluid.

Last night got real bluesy around 7, had 3 beers before 9 and 3 more by ten..

Feel like crap again. I WANT TO STOP! Enjoyed the thread about what you all do now that you're sober. I want to feel that happiness. Will hit a meeting after work ronight.

Pray for me that I make it through this day with out drinking.

BP had been up to 155/100 a few times the last few days, why the he** did I drink last night... WHY WHY WHY

rhnorment

Thanks for the update. You may not believe this, but your drinking last night may have saved your life.

Your BP was high after 2 days, and you had not even hit the most dangerous days yet. Your BP typically peaks on days 4 & 5.

Are you medically detoxing yet? Or are you still withdrawing using alcohol?

/rhn

TorontoGuy28

Solice - how are you planning to get and stay sober ?

Decisions are meaningless unless followed by rigorous action.

Have you tried AA ?

solice

I called my doc today but no answer, left a message. will call again.
I may check in tonight. I'm scared of the bp, etc... Want to stop so bad and feel like crap for caving last night. YEs, I am familiar with and do/will go to AA>

solice

will go to a meeting tonight too.

rhnorment

solice -- focus on the detox first, then worry about AA. I tried attending an AA meeting during one of my dozens of detoxes. The old-timers knew I was in bad shape. They told me to get medical help then come back in a week.

Please get medical help for your detox. Keep us posted.

Nuclerosis

Adding to what the other posters said, I think the best thing to do to aid your recovery is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Understand that it takes time and effort to beat any addiction and don't expect instant results.

flutter

Sometimes being "hard on yourself" saves your life.. I would say get to a medical detox, get your health monitored and taken care of, and work on recovery once you are sober.

joedris

Amen.

solice

Thanks everyone. I have a headache. Feel like sh** right now. chest hurts right now. have dr appt at 9:45 in morning. hope to get throught the night with a drink. working til 8 and from here right to a meeting. need to relax and get thru this...

solice

One of my biggest challenges in life is my need/obsession for instant gratification. I know it's a process and I won't be 'perfect' tomorrow, I just want to get thru this, not drink for days/weeks/months/years, etc..

Feel so depressed right now. At lunch I poured out the two beers in the fridge. Sure, I can stop and get more but atleast those two are gone...:rotfxko

solice

with OUT a drink..

rhnorment

solice -- i keep writing to you what my MD told me: "Drink until you can safely and medically detox." She is medically correct.

Don't try to be a martyr for alcoholics. We have too many martyrs as it is.

If you need to drink tonight to keep the BP down and stay alive, then drink tonight.

At 9:45 AM tomorrow, be honest with your MD. Benzos are your best friend in detox. Either have in-patient administer your benzos or have a trusted person (spouse, friend) administer so you don't over-benzo.

Keep us posted!

/rhn

chip

Hi Solice,
After reading this thread, I'm thinking about you, and hoping you're OK. Going for a medical detox is a solid idea. It sounds like you are having withdrawal symptoms.
Please let us know how it's going.
chip

Dean62

Solice you know what to do and how to do it. As long as you even have one drink a night you will continue to feel miserable because at some point that one drink will turn to many drinks. Keep close to your HP and meetings and get a sponsor tonight and walk through this today. The sooner you stop the sooner your new life begins.

I'm praying for you tonight Solice and I know you have what it takes to get and stay sober.

Thanks for keeping us imformed.

rhnorment

Larry -- how are you progressing? Great to hear from you after a long time!

gmaklay

Solice..... what up???? Let us know how you are.

CarolD

I'm so glad you are seeing your doctor about de toxing.
That is a very wise move. ....

Please let us know how your doing
Prayers coming your way

solice

Hi All. Well, yesterday alcohol free. Suprised that I slept pretty good last night. Don't know my bp at the moment but feel ok. A bit of chest pain and sweating here, it's only 60 degrees, what's up with that?? Well, Getting ready to see the doctor.. Hope today is another alcohol free day!! Thank you all. God willing I'll make another day without. One day at a time. THinking of step one, I can't deny I'm an alcoholic. The powerlessness and unmanageability have been with me for 25+ years. Need to surrender again..

solice

Hi All. Well, two days now, didn't drink monday or yesterday. I managed last friday adn saturday but caved sunday night sitting on my pity pot about a relationship I want so badly to work..
Saw Doc yesterday, he said my bp should be ok so no meds. Went to two meetings last night. I want to be free of these chains, this self imposed prison.. Two days as of now. Hopefully I hit the pillow tonight without a drink and tomorrow will be three!! Looking for an outpatient program now, don't think I need the detox anymore. It seems like the worst has past. Hope I can get STD, no not sex disease.., and really want to get a jump on this..

Thank you all. Called out today and my boss is such a jerk. I want to find a treatment program so that's the mission today.. I don't think I can do this alone or atleast I want to give myself the best chance possible to get through and build a good foundation upon which to build and grow..