Dean62

Right on Doug, it's great to hear your almost through the toughest physical part and already feeling better. This is the last time you have to do this and sounds to me like you have a good plan to make this your last time.

The best chance possible for me was to follow all sugestions.

solice

Thank Dean. I feel better, yea, strong, no. better yea. Have appt at outpatient in an hour..

solice

Good Morning all. THanks for all the support. Well, I didn't drink friday or saturday then had 6 beers sunday night. Didn't drink monday or tuesday then had 3.5 beers last night. Gotta break this cycle. I got so busy I didn't go to a meeting last night, I know I should have and then robably would not have drank. Well, around 8:30 I broke down and went to the liquor store, got 2 24oz miller lights and a six of mgd64. Drank 1 24oz can of miller light and 1 and a half bottle of mgd 64 in the next few hours.
I could have gone without but that pity pot I was on, well, no excuses, just the facts.

Tonight I'll hit a 5:30 beginners meeting and follow that with another meeting later. Hopefully no beers tonight through the weekend. Foo. I keep screwin myself..

I went to an intake for an intensive outpatient program yesterday at noon and thought I'd here from them to start last night. Didn't happen. Going to call in a bit to see what the status is. I think something like that will help me alot. BP has been around 150/100 the last few days. Hope it goes down again soon. Atleast I've been able to sleep somewhat ok and without any aids.

Not sure why but I have been pigging out at night for the last few weeks. Have put on almost 10 pounds, uhg!

Well, that's all for now. I want to stop and stay stopped. Loneliness is my biggest foe right now. Last night I was lonely, depressed and thinking about a girl I want so badly in my life again... I didn't pray last night or this morning. Maybe time to pray now...

Pleae, any words that can keep me going, help me stay sober, God I want this.

Cathy31

You can DEFINITELY do it! Your plan sounds great!!!! Just stick to those meetings soon you'll know that new freedom and new happiness!!!! Keep it up!!! At least you know you have a problem - that's a great first step!!
Keep going!
Cathy31
x

CarolD

You are making progress in thinking why you drink.
That's a good sign.....

Prayers... lots of AA meetings....a healthy eating plan....
all worked out great for me. And will for you too.

Keep in focus...Recovery Really Rocks....

ralph9898

My blood pressure and resting pulse rate were all over the place for the first 2 months after quitting. It didn't stabilize until about 3 months after I quit. Now it is lower than it has been in as long as I can remember. I remember my resting pulse rate sometimes being about 90-100 up to 2 months after I quit, especially during the afternoon after lunch. Now it is about 55 to 70 anytime I check it while relaxed (closer to 55 at night before bed, closer to 70 in the afternoon after lunch). BP was sometimes 140 over 90, now it is usually 120 over 70. I attribute this to quitting alcohol and a little more cardio exercise. I haven't changed anything else too much--I eat pretty much the same as before.

solice

Wow, 2 months, well, I guess so far I'm pretty normal... Not sure where it's at today, will check at lunch. I think pulse has been hovering around 90-100 since yesterday. Made it through last night without a drink. One day sober! Today is two, hope I hit the pillow without a drink tonight..

The weekend, oh my. Time on my own, hmm. I have to keep busy!! I should here from doc about disability today. I need a break from work and am in such bad financial straights right now anyway..

Gotta get the powerless/unmanageability down. still sometimes think I can become a social drinker, how f'd is that? I know better but don't own it or can't totally internalize it. I'm guessing that's kinda normal too. I WANT to be done. WANT This to be it. I don't need a lower bottom, I need to rise from the ashes of my past, work through my present challenges and get to a better place! I know life without alocohol is not only possible bu I know I can do anything I want to without, why do I miss it? Why do I fear it? Why do I think I can't enjoy life without it??

keithj

Solice,

You are describing the great obsession of every abnormal drinker that AA's Big Book talks about. A solution is right there if you want it. One or two days without a drink is not too soon to start working steps with a sponsor.

I sound like a broken record this morning with posts on the newcomers forum. Chiming out the mantra of go to AA and work the steps. I'm all full of motivation and enthusiasm from a meeting yesterday. Not because the meeting was that good, but because there were two guys there who have been in and out of the rooms for the past year or so. Both of them will get a few weeks or months without a drink, then inevitably return to it, disappear, and show back up when some new circumstance (usually legal) convince them that drinking is not working well.

Numerous times these guys have been offered help, and still are. And numerous times they think they can just come to meetings, hang out, and stay sober. They have no interest in taking the steps. They think it will be different this time because they finally got beat up enough, or learned enough, or are really serious about it this time. The sad thing is, they don't understand that being really serious about it will generally not keep them sober. Not if they are alcoholic like me.

I required taking the steps in order to recover. Many others have found the same truth.

solice

Keith, no argument here. I know the solution is in the steps...
When I had some time in the past I was kinda anal about step work, going to meetings alone won't keep you sober long. I got cocky in my own recovery, scoffed at the don't drink and go to meetings mantra, helped a few get started on the steps,etcc. Slacked off on meetings, slacked off o n contact with sober friends, spent more time living my life and before I knew it the stresses got to me and instead of praying, going to a meeting or other positive motions got drunk and stayed that way fro a pretty long time..

Getting back now is seeming quite the challenge. It shouldn't be but wow, it is..