bovinePieBear

I've asked for help. Nobody is gonna come a-runnin'.

TTOSBT

Have you called AA?

bovinePieBear

By 29 I had been in bands that had toured the UK, and performed on national radio and TV. I was also a qualified software engineer lecturing to degree students at the local university.

By 32 I was a complete mess. I didn't mention that from 18 to 24 I was feral, often homeless and always drunk.

bovinePieBear

It's just ringing and ringing.

bovinePieBear

Nobody is comin' a runnin'.

bovinePieBear

Still no answer. I called this number: Alcoholics Anonymous Great Britain

bovinePieBear

I also called the Salvation Army earlier today and got an answerphone. I didn't leave a message - I mean, for crying out loud, what to say?

Lenina

Just say you need help with your alcohol problem and leave your contact number.

You are not your dad and what he did or didn't do is not who you are. For me, drinking always made everything feel far worse than I could handle.

If worse goes to worst, call Casualty.

You're in my thoughts. I wish I could do more from here.

Love,

Lenina

zoomer

Get a grip will you! I hope today you are feeling better. Try calling the AA hot line again or do what ever you have to during the day. Most places are open during the day. Liston most alcoholics have some sort of horror story about their childhood, I know I do. We do get well however dispite what went on in our past. As far as being a role modle, maybe your not such a good one right now,but it does not mean that you can't be a better one when your sober. I know when I was out there with drinking and being bi-polar I was not the best mom I could be. But sence sobering up and taking medical advice I'v improved. I know too that everyday there is room for improvment. I'm making a living amends to my children for what they had to go through in the past by being sober and sain. I was so full of fear when I was out there. I'd cry and say I was going to die because of this or that. I'd scream at the top of my lungs for someone to help. Well they did come help with a strait jacket (not a real one,but the locked me up in a loony bin). The last outburst I had was just that. The last one. I was tired of living in fear. I asked God to either take away my fear or let me die. Nothing happened. I did however go to the hospital and get on meds and was told by CPS (child protective services because i scard my kids so bad with my yelling) to get a grip, take my meds and follow doctor's orders or els... Scard me strait up and did as i was told. I don't know how old your kids are,but mine where young at the time. I never want to put them through me being scard again nor do I want to live in a hell of my brain without meds. So get those numbers out man and start calling today. Call everyone who can help until someone picks up. I too never wanted my kids to have the childhood I had. For the most part they did not except dealing with a crazy mom. My mom was crazy too. It's too bad that they did not have help for her back then. I hope my kids do not turn out crazy,bur incase they do, I know where to call.

ReneeS

Hi Bovine. It's a new day and I hope you're feeling a little better. I know I've written this in PM's to you before, but I'll suggest it again here. Go to the emergency room and ask to be admitted for detox. If they say they have no beds, tell them you're having thoughts to kill yourself. They'll have to admit you to the psy ward. While you're on the psy ward, they will detox you. At the rate you're going, it won't be long until you start to feel suicidal anyway--so you won't exactly be lying--just saving yourself a few more weeks of hell. After you get detoxed, ask your psychiatrist to recommend a good therapist to help you sort through the issues you have with your family. I'm not saying that doing any of this will be fun--being on a locked unit for several days will not be fun--but it will make you well, and may save your life. I hope you find the strength to do what you need to do.

bovinePieBear

I'm back on the phones. I'm feeling extremely ill right now. Not quite hungover... I'm washed out, seriously sweating, palpating. Thanks for the help everyone.

zoomer

While your making calls why not call your doctor or your shrink and tell them your symtoms? Your also scard right now that can also cause some of your symtoms. Keep us posted on your progress. You seem like a very nice man, you deserve help!

Lenina

bPB,

I'm glad you came back! Please take good care of yourself today. Eat some nutritious food and drinks lots and lots of water! Tomorrow will be a better day! Stay here with us. We understand.

Love,

Lenina

bovinePieBear

Zoomer - Yes, I've called my psychiatrist a little while ago and waiting for her to ring me back.

Lenina - Well I've drunk a few cups of tea, but yes, I'll get some water. I can't really think about food.

bovinePieBear

Renees - sorry I missed that you'd posted while I was typing. Being on a ward seems like a really difficult thing because my wife won't have any --- hahaha ---- child care for our children. I know it's twisted, but at least I'm here even if drunk/hungover, and the kids aren't completely alone. She wouldn't be able to go to work.

zoomer

((((((((((((((((bovinepiebear))))))))))))))) Your doing all the right things!

bovinePieBear

Ha - thanks zoomer. We'll see how long that lasts...

zoomer

least

Don't give up until you've gotten help. It can be done. I never thought I could quit drinking but I kept at it until I finally could do it. You can do it too. But keep calling AA, doctor/shrink, until you are heard. Help is out there, just don't give up until you've gotten the help you need.

:ghug3

Lenina

bPB,

I'm glad to see you again! When you are able to eat a little, see if you can take some B vitamins. It helped me feel better. And maybe a few spoonsful of sugar in the tea. Caffeine always made me shakier so I use herbal teas. Honey is good in tea too.

Please let us know what happens after you speak to your doctor.

Love,

Lenina