Are Alcoholics Misunderstood?
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
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Are Alcoholics Misunderstood?
Are Alcoholics misunderstood? This was talked about on one of the XA speaker downloads, the topic really made me think. I really wonder if a person who was never an alcoholic or addict could ever understand what an active alcoholic is going through. I thought about some of the crazy things I did while in the throes of a major binge and in retrospect they seem like things only an insane person would do.
One example I thought of occurred while I was on a major vodka binge, I was running low and had planned to get more that evening. Somehow I had passed out or blacked out at about 6 Pm and came to at 2 AM, I was now in big trouble as I was out of vodka and the liquor stores didn't open until 9 AM . My body and mind cried out for the alcohol "fix" but I had none and I knew that withdrawal would soon start and I didn't want that. I then in a state of panic started calling my neighbors to see if they would sell me a bottle. The first 2 didn't answer but the third; a guy 2 doors down answered and agreed to sell me a bottle of canadian whiskey which got me through until I could replenish my supply. I have talked to him many times after that and he never brought up the incident. He was also a drinker and I knew that he knew what was going on but nothing was ever said.
The above example was only a minor incident (there were much worse) but it stuck out in my mind because it shows how the craving for the DOC takes precedence over all else. How many rational people call their neighbors at 2 AM trying to score alcohol? I doubt that anyone but another alcoholic or addict could ever understand the power that an addiction can have over rational thought. For some reason the state of sheer panic I felt that night at the thought of running out of alcohol is something I'll never forget.
In what ways do you think the alcoholic or addict is misunderstood by the general public, any thoughts?
One example I thought of occurred while I was on a major vodka binge, I was running low and had planned to get more that evening. Somehow I had passed out or blacked out at about 6 Pm and came to at 2 AM, I was now in big trouble as I was out of vodka and the liquor stores didn't open until 9 AM . My body and mind cried out for the alcohol "fix" but I had none and I knew that withdrawal would soon start and I didn't want that. I then in a state of panic started calling my neighbors to see if they would sell me a bottle. The first 2 didn't answer but the third; a guy 2 doors down answered and agreed to sell me a bottle of canadian whiskey which got me through until I could replenish my supply. I have talked to him many times after that and he never brought up the incident. He was also a drinker and I knew that he knew what was going on but nothing was ever said.
The above example was only a minor incident (there were much worse) but it stuck out in my mind because it shows how the craving for the DOC takes precedence over all else. How many rational people call their neighbors at 2 AM trying to score alcohol? I doubt that anyone but another alcoholic or addict could ever understand the power that an addiction can have over rational thought. For some reason the state of sheer panic I felt that night at the thought of running out of alcohol is something I'll never forget.
In what ways do you think the alcoholic or addict is misunderstood by the general public, any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 14
Public sees alcoholics as emotionally desturbed people who would do just about anything for that that rush. The truth is they are basically right.
I guess the only thing the general public can never appreciate the pain we put ourself through recovery, and why it is so hard for us to quit.
I am 5 months sober.
I guess the only thing the general public can never appreciate the pain we put ourself through recovery, and why it is so hard for us to quit.
I am 5 months sober.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I have been sober over 2 years now, my wife has said on numerous occasions "I just do not understand why you could never just stop." Up until the physical dependancy kicked in I never understood why I always wound up drinking again even though I had made the decision to stop 500 times......... once the physical dependancy kicked in I understood why...... I had to drink to function.
Until one has been through the insanity of alcoholism or addiction I do not see how they could understand.
Being a man I will never understand what a woman goes through having a child.
Until one has been through the insanity of alcoholism or addiction I do not see how they could understand.
Being a man I will never understand what a woman goes through having a child.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
I don't think the general public understands that an addict really has little choice when under the spell of alcohol. The drug takes over your mind and you can't think clearly enough to protect yourself. Worst of all, though, you think you are being rationale and have things under control. Its like the damn drug feeds you ideas and colors your world. In the end, the only way to get out of the hole is to distrust yourself and have faith in whatever support system you've got.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Htown, baby!
Posts: 384
Yes I agree with you that its impossible for someone to understand what a drug craving is like if they've never experienced it. At the same time you can say just about everyone is misuderstood.
I have a sister who suffers from OCD.. She has to wash her hands a hundred times a day, check the door locks all the time.. And its hard for me to understand her. Why is she doing that? She never had a problem with drugs though.
I have a friend who always ends up dating bad guys. Shes not an addict though.
I have a sister who suffers from OCD.. She has to wash her hands a hundred times a day, check the door locks all the time.. And its hard for me to understand her. Why is she doing that? She never had a problem with drugs though.
I have a friend who always ends up dating bad guys. Shes not an addict though.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
A few months ago, I had lunch with one of my professors whom I had gotten to know quite well, and she knows I'm in recovery. While we were waiting for our meal, she handed me a bag with Dove chocolates and some other sugary treats in it. She asked, "Will your kids eat these? This is day one for me." Then she went on to explain that she can't do a little bit of sugar--that if she has sweets in the house, she'll eat them all. She can't have just one. Then she said, "I guess it's like you and booze."
Now, maybe, you might say, my alcoholism has more consequences than her addiction to sugar, but I'm not sure. She related stories of binging, and then going out, sometimes late, to buy more. She talked about how her health was affected and how her mood was affected--both when she was indulging and when she tried to abstain (unsuccessfully if she had access). After listening to her, I had to admit she knew what it was like to be alcoholic, even if her symptoms were different.
That's not to say that everyone has an addiction.... but, I do think that some who don't drink or drink to excess can still understand what it's like.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Now, maybe, you might say, my alcoholism has more consequences than her addiction to sugar, but I'm not sure. She related stories of binging, and then going out, sometimes late, to buy more. She talked about how her health was affected and how her mood was affected--both when she was indulging and when she tried to abstain (unsuccessfully if she had access). After listening to her, I had to admit she knew what it was like to be alcoholic, even if her symptoms were different.
That's not to say that everyone has an addiction.... but, I do think that some who don't drink or drink to excess can still understand what it's like.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Yep - I think most people can't or won't try to understand. But, most people if they really think about it can discover analogies in their own life. My best friend, non-alcoholic, and I have had several talks about powerlessness, surrender, turning one's will and life to the care of God. He really gets some of it.
But that's because he was trying and his mind was open. Not everyone tries so hard. The stigma of alcoholism and self defense instinct drives the closed mindedness of many.
Mark
But that's because he was trying and his mind was open. Not everyone tries so hard. The stigma of alcoholism and self defense instinct drives the closed mindedness of many.
Mark
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Many people have such warped views of alcoholism and other addictions it's hard to explain that alcoholics come from all walks of life and have much trouble understanding their addictive personality. My mom used to cry and say "can't you just stop drinking?", not understanding my physical and emotional addiction. She has no addictions and cannot understand the addictive mindset.
A lot of people think that if you haven't been arrested or gotten a DUI or lost your house or job that you can't be an alcoholic. Most people just don't understand and I'm not going to explain it to them.
A lot of people think that if you haven't been arrested or gotten a DUI or lost your house or job that you can't be an alcoholic. Most people just don't understand and I'm not going to explain it to them.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
The part of alcoholim and other addictions that many do not understand is how we can continue to use even after some serious health, personal & legal issues. How even in the face of many issues caused by our probelms we continue to deny that our problem is the cause of other problems......... or in some cases even when we know our problem is the root cause of other problems we continue to use.
If a normal person ate a pint of cherries every day and then cherries caused them to break out in hives, they would simply quit eating cherries, they would miss them, but they would not be consumed with having to eat cherries and breaking out in hives any how.
If a normal person ate a pint of cherries every day and then cherries caused them to break out in hives, they would simply quit eating cherries, they would miss them, but they would not be consumed with having to eat cherries and breaking out in hives any how.
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
In a word..."no." Alcoholics are not misunderstood.
I don't think it is a fault of anyone but rather an ignorance of society.
I don't understand the cancer patient that continues to smoke, the diabetic that continues to eat doughnuts, the ex-con that skips parole to return to the familiarity of prison.
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. That's a pretty narrow view because if the world understood and supported the alcoholic (IMO) there would be little need for the alcoholic to drink.
Compassion for the unknown is underestimated and oddly enough misunderstood.
The cancer patient, the diabetic, and the ex-con all continue to use their vices as sources of comfort in a society that isn't willing to grant them such luxuries.
So OP to answer your question, alcoholics aren't misunderstood. They simply haven't had enough of society to want to try to understand them and until that happens they can't be misunderstood.
I don't think it is a fault of anyone but rather an ignorance of society.
I don't understand the cancer patient that continues to smoke, the diabetic that continues to eat doughnuts, the ex-con that skips parole to return to the familiarity of prison.
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. That's a pretty narrow view because if the world understood and supported the alcoholic (IMO) there would be little need for the alcoholic to drink.
Compassion for the unknown is underestimated and oddly enough misunderstood.
The cancer patient, the diabetic, and the ex-con all continue to use their vices as sources of comfort in a society that isn't willing to grant them such luxuries.
So OP to answer your question, alcoholics aren't misunderstood. They simply haven't had enough of society to want to try to understand them and until that happens they can't be misunderstood.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Basingstoke UK
Posts: 139
My dad and grandad dont understand it at all. They are old skool tho military style of thinking. So they think once I stopped that would be it no relapses but, I relapsed and they cant understand why. Bless 
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Originally Posted by VeritasAequitas 
In a word..."no." Alcoholics are not misunderstood.
I don't think it is a fault of anyone but rather an ignorance of society.
I don't understand the cancer patient that continues to smoke, the diabetic that continues to eat doughnuts, the ex-con that skips parole to return to the familiarity of prison.
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. That's a pretty narrow view because if the world understood and supported the alcoholic (IMO) there would be little need for the alcoholic to drink.
Compassion for the unknown is underestimated and oddly enough misunderstood.
The cancer patient, the diabetic, and the ex-con all continue to use their vices as sources of comfort in a society that isn't willing to grant them such luxuries.
So OP to answer your question, alcoholics aren't misunderstood. They simply haven't had enough of society to want to try to understand them and until that happens they can't be misunderstood.
I don't think it is a fault of anyone but rather an ignorance of society.
I don't understand the cancer patient that continues to smoke, the diabetic that continues to eat doughnuts, the ex-con that skips parole to return to the familiarity of prison.
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. That's a pretty narrow view because if the world understood and supported the alcoholic (IMO) there would be little need for the alcoholic to drink.
Compassion for the unknown is underestimated and oddly enough misunderstood.
The cancer patient, the diabetic, and the ex-con all continue to use their vices as sources of comfort in a society that isn't willing to grant them such luxuries.
So OP to answer your question, alcoholics aren't misunderstood. They simply haven't had enough of society to want to try to understand them and until that happens they can't be misunderstood.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Basingstoke UK
Posts: 139
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics.
I gain nothing. Ive basically lost everything thru drink so thats one bs statement. Same with loads of people they are sleeping rough so no
the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. = crap
absolute crap.
Ive lost respect from my friends my self respect nearly my home.
So alcholics dont gain from it. They lose. Not gain.
Anyway bless thats my 2 pence
I gain nothing. Ive basically lost everything thru drink so thats one bs statement. Same with loads of people they are sleeping rough so no
the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. = crap
absolute crap.
Ive lost respect from my friends my self respect nearly my home.
So alcholics dont gain from it. They lose. Not gain.
Anyway bless
thats my 2 pence TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by Still Waters
So, alcoholics drink because the world at large doesn't understand and support them? I totally disagree with this statement.
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by Trippstar
The problem is that most people condemn what they don't understand. It requires quite a bit of research and selfless work to understand such psychological disparities and to boot there is little self gain; the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics.
I gain nothing. Ive basically lost everything thru drink so thats one bs statement. Same with loads of people they are sleeping rough so no
the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. = crap
absolute crap.
Ive lost respect from my friends my self respect nearly my home.
So alcholics dont gain from it. They lose. Not gain.
Anyway bless thats my 2 pence
I gain nothing. Ive basically lost everything thru drink so thats one bs statement. Same with loads of people they are sleeping rough so no
the only people that really gain anything are the alcoholics. = crap
absolute crap.
Ive lost respect from my friends my self respect nearly my home.
So alcholics dont gain from it. They lose. Not gain.
Anyway bless
thats my 2 pence Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
I remember not having a drink when I needed one. Thank you for that memory Back. I also know that for me it doesn't matter what others think, I have no power to change another, only myself. Today, it no longer matter what happened yesterday, yesterday is history. Appreciate your insight Back!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
I think the problem is that when we ask questions like this, we ask each other and not folks outside of AA. I am sure there are aspects of alcoholism in and out of recovery that are not understood but I am equally sure that it is not to the degree we think. We are the ones who suffer from understanding more than them.
On a side note, when it comes to speaker tapes, I am not much of a fan of any speaker that isn't limiting their share to their experience, strength and hope. I see more speaker tapes spouting off about topics of different levels of sensationalism.
It only really matters that "WE" understand the suffering of the alcoholic. Society can do what it will with us for all I care.
On a side note, when it comes to speaker tapes, I am not much of a fan of any speaker that isn't limiting their share to their experience, strength and hope. I see more speaker tapes spouting off about topics of different levels of sensationalism.
It only really matters that "WE" understand the suffering of the alcoholic. Society can do what it will with us for all I care.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
While I don't agree with Veritas view on society and their lack of understanding I will agree that IMO alcoholics are not misunderstood. I think we have clearly portrayed ourselves to anyone who has come in contact with us. I was reckless and selfish...I choose to drink even when I knew the results would be disastrous. I allowed myself to act on impulse...I had no self control and blamed anything but myself for my behavior. I do not feel I am a victim of a disease and society or "normal" people need to understand anything else but the obvious. For anyone who has not had an addiction it may be difficult to understand the concept of withdrawal and its dangers but aside from that we are responsible for our actions. I would venture to say that society as a whole would agree with that. Just my 2 cents
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by bugsworth
While I don't agree with Veritas view on society and their lack of understanding I will agree that IMO alcoholics are not misunderstood. I think we have clearly portrayed ourselves to anyone who has come in contact with us. I was reckless and selfish...I choose to drink even when I knew the results would be disastrous. I allowed myself to act on impulse...I had no self control and blamed anything but myself for my behavior. I do not feel I am a victim of a disease and society or "normal" people need to understand anything else but the obvious. For anyone who has not had an addiction it may be difficult to understand the concept of withdrawal and its dangers but aside from that we are responsible for our actions. I would venture to say that society as a whole would agree with that. Just my 2 cents
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