Made it through first BIG craving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
Made it through first BIG craving
Today is only day 4 sober for me this time (and hopefully last time) but after spending the last year binge drinking 2-3 times a week it's the first 4 days in a row I have put together in almost a year now, so I had a HUGE craving today.
I won't bore anyone with all the details of why today started out so bad, but only getting 3 hours sleep last night, realising I forgot to pay a bill that is due so I'll be $150 shorter than expected this week, as well as a few other things that happened this morning sent me right back into the mind frame I am trying to get away from. So by noon today I had already had it planned that I was going to give in and drink today. I went as far as making sure I stuck a gallon of OJ in the fridge so I had enough mixer for the day and was completely planning on being well on my way to being drunk by mid day today.
For the first time in a year though I finally fought the urge and decided to sit down for a few minutes and think it through. I won't lie and say it only took me a couple minutes and the urge magically disappeared because it didn't. But I ended up sitting here reading some old posts on this site for over an hour while I kept going back and forth one second thinking about going to get a bottle, and the next telling myself I was not giving in. Finally I ended up making a pot of coffee and renting a movie off "movies on demand" and the craving has pretty much passed.
What started out as a bad day actually feels pretty good right now knowing that I will not spend tomorrow laying in bed wondering what I did or said last night, or what I bought on Ebay while drunk that I didn't remember lol. It's not much, but its a start. One other decision I made today after all this as well is even though I don't want to start going back to AA meetings, I need to start going back so I can continue having the strength the make the same choice I made today.
Anyway since I have not yet started back to AA I just wanted to post this here if for no other reason then to just give myself something to cling to in case I go through this again tomorrow.
Steve
I won't bore anyone with all the details of why today started out so bad, but only getting 3 hours sleep last night, realising I forgot to pay a bill that is due so I'll be $150 shorter than expected this week, as well as a few other things that happened this morning sent me right back into the mind frame I am trying to get away from. So by noon today I had already had it planned that I was going to give in and drink today. I went as far as making sure I stuck a gallon of OJ in the fridge so I had enough mixer for the day and was completely planning on being well on my way to being drunk by mid day today.
For the first time in a year though I finally fought the urge and decided to sit down for a few minutes and think it through. I won't lie and say it only took me a couple minutes and the urge magically disappeared because it didn't. But I ended up sitting here reading some old posts on this site for over an hour while I kept going back and forth one second thinking about going to get a bottle, and the next telling myself I was not giving in. Finally I ended up making a pot of coffee and renting a movie off "movies on demand" and the craving has pretty much passed.
What started out as a bad day actually feels pretty good right now knowing that I will not spend tomorrow laying in bed wondering what I did or said last night, or what I bought on Ebay while drunk that I didn't remember lol. It's not much, but its a start. One other decision I made today after all this as well is even though I don't want to start going back to AA meetings, I need to start going back so I can continue having the strength the make the same choice I made today.
Anyway since I have not yet started back to AA I just wanted to post this here if for no other reason then to just give myself something to cling to in case I go through this again tomorrow.
Steve
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by DayWalker 
For the first time in a year though I finally fought the urge and decided to sit down for a few minutes and think it through. I won't lie and say it only took me a couple minutes and the urge magically disappeared because it didn't. But I ended up sitting here reading some old posts on this site for over an hour while I kept going back and forth one second thinking about going to get a bottle, and the next telling myself I was not giving in. Finally I ended up making a pot of coffee and renting a movie off "movies on demand" and the craving has pretty much passed.
Absolutely fabulous. Be VERY proud of yourself. I'm proud of you!!!!!!
Great Job! Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes...I do use SR as a vital supplement to my
face to face AA recovery. You can do both...
Glad to see you made it thru your day sober!
Thanks for sharing your victory...
About cravings....
In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.
They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action.
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy
Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.
Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care....
Forward we go...side by side
face to face AA recovery. You can do both...
Glad to see you made it thru your day sober!
Thanks for sharing your victory...
About cravings....
In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.
They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action.
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy
Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.
Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care....
Forward we go...side by side
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I have to disagree with you here, you said,". . . It's not much, but it's a start . . ." Not much? NOT MUCH?? It's a big, BIG STEP! Especially since you admit that you planned it. When I was struggling, once I had set the plan in motion, there was no turning back.
I think going to Meetings is a good idea. For this alcoholic/addict, I had to go to at least one Meeting every day during the first year of my Recovery. Abstinence only wasn't enough for me, I had to work the Steps and work through the issues that lead me to picking up in the first place many years ago.
Congratulations on putting the kebosh on your plans!
Keep it Simple, One Day at A Time & God Bless,
Judy
I think going to Meetings is a good idea. For this alcoholic/addict, I had to go to at least one Meeting every day during the first year of my Recovery. Abstinence only wasn't enough for me, I had to work the Steps and work through the issues that lead me to picking up in the first place many years ago.
Congratulations on putting the kebosh on your plans!
Keep it Simple, One Day at A Time & God Bless,
Judy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
Thanks everyone.
serenityqueen- Your right, it is a big thing for me right now and I need to keep telling myself that. I think the thing is whether I realise it or not I'm still somewhat kicking myself for going back to drinking after six years of being sober. So any victories I have right now I guess I have a bit of a hard time fully accepting since I made the stupid choice to pick up again last year. I know I need to get over that though because that sort of thinking is just sabotaging myself which will lead to using again.
I do feel good about it though. Had a nice enjoyable evening going out to dinner with my niece and nephew and then watching some TV so it was a much better night than the alternative thats for sure!
Steve
serenityqueen- Your right, it is a big thing for me right now and I need to keep telling myself that. I think the thing is whether I realise it or not I'm still somewhat kicking myself for going back to drinking after six years of being sober. So any victories I have right now I guess I have a bit of a hard time fully accepting since I made the stupid choice to pick up again last year. I know I need to get over that though because that sort of thinking is just sabotaging myself which will lead to using again.
I do feel good about it though. Had a nice enjoyable evening going out to dinner with my niece and nephew and then watching some TV so it was a much better night than the alternative thats for sure!
Steve
A big congrats to you!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
DW congrats on crushing that "Planning" phase and moving forward!!!
Do not sell your self short, every day an alcoholic goes with out a drink is a major accomplishment, especially in early sobriety!!!! Give your self FULL credit for a job well done.
DW today is the only day we have, what do we accomplish when we beat our selfs up for our past? Not a darn thing!!!! Do not get me wrong, I have not buried my past to be forgotten, I learn from my own past to where I do not repeat it! I take full responsibilty for my past, I make amends for the wrongs I have done which releives my of any guilt and I move forward.
Today I work on spiritual progression, striving to become a better person and to be of service both to my fellow man and my family, this I can not do if I do not stay in the day and stay sober TODAY!!!!
In early sobriety there were 2 things that would kill cravings for me quickly, 1 of them was going to a meeting and drinking in the ES&H of those who have been where I was at reminding me that I do not have to do this on my own, the second when there was not a meeting to go to was to get on the phone and just talk with another guy in recovery, openly and honestly...... the neat thing about that I have found is that I was helping the guy I was talking to just as much as he was helping me.
DW perhaps a good plan to make and follow through on is getting to a meeting.
Do not sell your self short, every day an alcoholic goes with out a drink is a major accomplishment, especially in early sobriety!!!! Give your self FULL credit for a job well done.
DW today is the only day we have, what do we accomplish when we beat our selfs up for our past? Not a darn thing!!!! Do not get me wrong, I have not buried my past to be forgotten, I learn from my own past to where I do not repeat it! I take full responsibilty for my past, I make amends for the wrongs I have done which releives my of any guilt and I move forward.
Today I work on spiritual progression, striving to become a better person and to be of service both to my fellow man and my family, this I can not do if I do not stay in the day and stay sober TODAY!!!!
In early sobriety there were 2 things that would kill cravings for me quickly, 1 of them was going to a meeting and drinking in the ES&H of those who have been where I was at reminding me that I do not have to do this on my own, the second when there was not a meeting to go to was to get on the phone and just talk with another guy in recovery, openly and honestly...... the neat thing about that I have found is that I was helping the guy I was talking to just as much as he was helping me.
DW perhaps a good plan to make and follow through on is getting to a meeting.
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