drunkenbastard

I'm a looser. No friends, never had a girlfriend, had to quit my job because of anxiety, living with my mom at the age of 35 in a rotten house which has been my personal hell for 3 years now, and why I started to drink.

I'm not able to find a place of my own cause I'm too afraid to call anyone, and they won't respond to e-mail.

I'm on disability and use a fortune on alcohol.

I hate buying beer cause I feel the shop assistant is looking down at me.

ANGELINA243

Do you want to stop drinking? I knew I needed to quit for a long time..but only when I wanted to change did I start seeing a difference. Welcome to SR! Hang around and keep posting....we understand. You are not alone. :ghug

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

Have you considered talking to your doctor about quitting?
Perhaps drinking is making you depressed ... it certinly did me.

I have no idea what is available in your area in Norway.
Are you in or near a city?

Glad you found us...

nandm

Welcome to SR!

There is life after alcohol. Many of us here can attest to the positive difference stopping drinking has had on our lives.

maloneshawn32

I can't speak for anyone but myself, I quit because at 37 I have wasted two decades of my life and want to know what it is to live a good, healthy life. I want my wife to have a husband she can depend on ( without getting rid of me of coarse ) and I want my children to have a father that they are proud of and want to be like. As of right now I am not there, not even close really, but it is my goal everyday to wake up, thank the lord for being in my life again, and making one more small step to my goals. It is a life long journey for me, that I already know, but one I am looking forward to. The day my deployment ends I am at AA to get a good support group into my recovery, I have 118 days of sobriety and will keep going strong for the rest of my life.

I hope in some small way this helps you, good luck and stay strong.

Tazman53

Welcome to SR drunkenbastard, since you are able to get out and buy beer you may want to check out this link The Official Site of AA Continental European Region.

Anxiety is a bear and drinking does not help it at all, it just makes it worse. I am glad to hear it is not so bad you can not go out.

least

You CAN get and stay sober, but how badly do you want to quit? It took me months of trying and failing to finally accumulate some real sober time. And if I can finally get it right, so can you. It's a matter of how badly you want to be sober.

Keep reading and posting here. This international family has helped me so much to stay sober. They believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Keep coming back and never give up!

:ghug3

tommyk

Why quit?

Well, your disease has made you feel all of the things you mentioned.

Maybe it is time for you to live your life instead of allowing your disease to ruin your life?

That's just one reason, others may come up with some more.

kelsh

Hi DB,

I knew why I needed to quit but I had to be able to want to quit drinking more than anything else in my life. I was working, had a twelve year old daughter at home...the rest were out on their own, and wanted a better life and help for my depression.

I was told I drank to self medicate my depression. That was true because I would quit my meds for depression so I could drink. I would quit my drinking when I found out I was pregnant to. I alway wondered why I could quit for my babies but not for myself.

I finally got to my bottom and made an appointment at mental health. That was the beginning of my road to recovery. This was 20 years ago and I am still sober and still take meds for my depression.

I also had anxiety but am doing well with it now. I know how hard it is to deal with anxiety. I hated it when I would have an anxiety attack at the grocery store or at work but I always managed to get myself under control & took a medication for it.

I used and still use the AA Program & principles in all areas of my life. The Serenity Prayer has helped me the most. The friends I made at AA are still around and most of them are still sober to.... :ghug2

Keep coming back...read...post...or just say Hi & how you are doing.

kelsh

Pinkcuda

Why quit? The answer is very simple. I couldn't control it. Quitting was easier!

drunkenbastard

Hi, yes I want to quit, but cannot quit before I have found my own place to live. I need alcohol as medicine when living under this pressure. Thanks for your support.

drunkenbastard

Hello Carol and thanks. Yes I have talked to my doctor and told him the reason why I drink. It's impossible for me to live here without any substance abuse. He did not belive me, and said the alcohol abuse didn't relate to the situation I'm in now. So I have gotten an appointment to see a drug recovery specialist now. It's on the 29th. Wonder if he can help me finding another place to live...

tsukiko

Why quit? Your post just answered your own question, mate.

drunkenbastard

Thank you Tazman. Alcohol helps while intoxicated, but its hell when I sober up. I would go see AA if I still abused alcohol while living alone.

drunkenbastard

Thank you Kelsh. Great you managed to quit for your baby, the baby will thank you for that. Im not taking any drugs now. Quit them a couple of months ago. I still had severe anxiety when I took them, so I thought life couldnt get any worse by not taking them. It might has cause my OCD is 10x worse.

drunkenbastard

Hi, I can live with the humiliation as long as I get some relief from my life.

rawdeal

Drunkenbastard... its awful how low your opinion of yourself is... my parents are both alcoholics with similar anxieties and chronically low self esteem. I think you need to force yourself to (slowly but surely) look for a job, go to AA, meed some new pals in similar situations (there will be many.)

At the moment you are obviously in a dark, dark place and have a warped view of the world as an evil place. Nobody else is judging you - you are your own worst critic. there is a lot of love available to you as this forum can show you. xxxxxx

tsukiko

'Ello

I wasn't talking about humiliation. I'm an alcoholic and a junkie. Humiliation hasn't had much motivational impact on me either...like you say: that can be escaped.

I was looking at all the reasons you gave, and the perception / self awareness / strength / honesty you demonstrated through posting them .

RufusACanal

Welcome to SR! Might I suggest if you have not yet read the thread, A New Life, please do so. Here, members are posting their experience with ending their drinking and living free of the booze and the associated insanity. A New Life sounds like what you are searching for and this thread may help. If I can help, please email me.

Thanks,

Ron

WishIWasNormal

Whatever your faults may or may not be, you are one honest dude. I think that is a good start towards a better life. You will find that many of us here have the same attributes so we are unqualified to judge anyone else. Welcome and keep posting.